​hope is a dangerous thing… (OPEN)

[Deleted]

January 13, 2026

As time passed since the explosion at the match against Yorkshire, Claricia Freund was beginning to find her feet again in retirement from her playing career. She wasn't fully retired, though; she had gone into scouting, which had been her plan even before the tragedy had occurred. Life, she felt, would never be the same for her after that experience, but that was part of why she was at St. Mungo's and waiting for a follow-up appointment with her psychiatric Healer. Though she didn't always want to take the time out of her day to sit around at the hospital and then talk through how she was feeling and what concerns she had had and if she was keeping up with the potions she'd been prescribed, Claricia—stubborn though she was—knew inside of herself that it was important for her to maintain progress in a more positive direction.

Because it was a hospital, Claricia was fortunate that she could be left alone, really, without having to worry about intrusion into her personal life. Plus, the one and only bright side to everything that had happened was that any reporters looking to get an inside scoop on the former Wasps captain's mental health would make themselves look horrifically insensitive in the process. As much as Claricia had never been one for being soft or vulnerable, she could at least remain reassured that she couldn't do much to look bad. She hadn't "gone off the rails", so how much tabloid material was there, really?

Either way, Claricia wasn't too focused on all of that, apart from the stack of old magazines staring at her from where she sat. She glanced around the room for the nearest clock and tapped her foot, hoping that it might make the minutes tick by more quickly.

OOC: OPEN!

[finn kylie nottingham]

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Another physical and rounds of psych evaluations were headed Finn’s way. This time it was mostly for a good reason, as opposed to the last time she found herself in St. Mungo’s. The hospital was far from being an uncommon thing for her, though she didn’t like Mungo’s as much as she did the one back home in New York City. They didn’t dilly-dally around there, and she was usually patched up and out of her bed in a matter of minutes. Here, they liked to run tests and diagnostics, always poking and prodding her with needles and wands. A broken bone only needed a simple healing charm, not bed rest. It had gotten to the point that she almost wanted to learn the spells herself, because it would be easier than sitting in the waiting rooms at Mungo’s constantly. It didn’t help that this was an appointment set up by the Auror department that she needed to attend, or else she wouldn’t be allowed to go on the field trip to the mysterious island that had appeared out of nowhere a few weeks earlier.

So yeah, she was real happy to be heading to another waiting room after her physical. Even almost a year out and they were still worried that dropping a building on top of herself had done some sort of irreparable damage to her body. As far as she was concerned, if everything moved with very little pain and she was still breathing, then there was nothing to worry about. Apparently that wasn’t the right attitude to have about it, which confused her because it should have been a good thing that she wasn’t in pain constantly. What was the point in making a mountain out of a molehill?

Loudly opening the door to the next waiting room, Finn took note of another woman already sitting there, and quickly made her way to an empty seat that was right near the office door. The silence of the room immediately put the auror into a twitchy mood, and she tapped her shoes in a horrid, one-toned tune on the tiled floor. She didn’t even last two minutes doing that, before standing up again and crossing the room to where the magazines were. Flipping through a couple of them, nothing really caught her attention. The copy of the Daily Prophet sitting at the front was even off by a few days, so any stories in there were automatically old news. Letting out a long sigh, Finn grabbed one of the magazines without taking a second look at it, and moved back towards her chair, sitting down noisily once again.

The magazine was, like the paper had been, outdated, and was from at least three months earlier. As she suspected, there was nothing of interest in it, as her cursory flip through the pages was enough for her. “You’d think they’d at least get something new in here,” she said aloud, though didn’t care if the other woman actually responded or not. All she wanted was to hear something other than the clock ticking or the woman tapping her foot on the floor.

@claricia ● 524 ● Sing For The Wind by Roo Panes

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

January 13, 2026

Claricia didn't really notice as another woman entered the waiting area in which she was seated. She knew that it wouldn't be long before her appointment, and she wanted to get in and out as quickly as she could. Perhaps it was wrong of her to pass judgment on the other patients, but Claricia had never really thought of herself as a traumatized person. Her life hadn't been the image of perfection, and things had happened: Her parents divorced when she was younger, and she was gay, but she wasn't "mad" or anything, and she did feel sort of strange for being where she was.

At the same time, the fact that Edmund Windsor, one of her own teammates, had died in an explosion when she was captain was something that she didn't think would ever leave her. She'd stopped drinking away her feelings towards it, because she did have to be functional to keep working as a scout, but there were times when her frustration with herself for not having done more ate at her. There she was, looking for the next great Quidditch stars and knowing that she could have done more to save a young man who had had that same potential in spades.

She noticed the younger woman only as she approached the magazines. It didn't look like there was much in the way of reading material there, though, and she was sure that she would find that out.

Sure enough, not long after the younger woman had sat back down with whatever she'd grabbed from the pile, she commented on it, saying, "You'd think they'd at least get something new in here."

Claricia turned her head, realizing that it was she who had been spoken to. "Yeah," she agreed, her tone not super enthusiastic about the magazines, either. "I wouldn't be surprised if some of those are years old…"

finn kylie nottingham

[finn kylie nottingham]

▲

The problem Finn tended to run into nowadays came with trying to figure out whether or not the magic-infused cellphones were allowed in certain areas. It used to be simple: anywhere magical, no phones. But now that these things were literally everywhere and becoming quickly required for work, she felt like she needed to be glued to hers in case a memo was pushed out to the Aurors. The amount of list serves and group emails she was clumped into now was insane. Far more than she ever had been with her no-maj one. It still felt weird to whip her cell out while waiting though. Defaulting to the newspapers and magazines seemed only natural. That, or talking to the other woman in the waiting room. Though that presented its own set of unwritten rules as well. She was of the belief that anyone that was here had to be there for work clearance, only because that was why she was there. It made sense in her one-track, non-work mode brain.

“Guess they feel like it’s necessary to bore us to death before prying into every aspect of our life,” Finn mused as she picked up another magazine and thumbed through the pages lazily. She immediately slotted it back on the magazine rack after not finding anything of interest. “Did your department send you here to make sure you aren’t crazy too?” she asked as she turned back to face the woman. “I don’t think it’s really fair to keep us from work just because of something some shrink writes down, you know?” The Ministry, and the Auror department at that, needed all the help they could get. Having a few unhinged Aurors wasn’t going to hurt anyone. The more restrictions they had on them, the longer this whole ordeal was going to last.

@claricia ● 304 ● Darkest Spawn by Lorna Shore

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

January 13, 2026

"Guess they feel like it's necessary to bore us to death before prying into every aspect of our life," the woman with the magazines commented, picking up a different magazine, looking through it for all of two seconds, and then placing it back on the rack. Claricia doubted that there was much there to hold anyone's attention for very long. "Did your department send you here to make sure you aren’t crazy too?"

As the other woman faced her, Claricia blinked. At first, she wondered if she had mistaken her for someone else. She didn't have a "department", but she realized that it probably didn't occur to the woman—who sounded American—that she didn't work for the Ministry. Was it supposed to be reassuring that she didn't look "crazy" from her appearance? Claricia didn't know, but she guessed that was better than the alternative… Wasn't it? She didn't know if she really needed to correct the other patient to explain that she was an ex-Quidditch player, not an Auror or whatever it was she believed her to be. (Would things have been better if she'd done that with her life, though? She probably would have been more accustomed to explosions, she assumed, though that wasn't particularly comforting.)

"I don't think it's really fair to keep us from work just because of something some shrink writes down, you know?"

Claricia didn't say anything at first. She didn't really want to be there any more than it seemed the American woman did, but she didn't want to dig herself into a hole by agreeing that it wasn't fair, only to end up in a conversation in which she had to keep up the appearance of being some sort of Ministry employee there for whatever psychiatric clearance process they dealt with over there. "Erm…" Claricia then began, not sure how to break it to a perfect stranger that she was probably "crazy" by her definition and wasn't there because of some workplace formality.

Obviously, she didn't want to be kept from her work because of what the Healer she was seeing had to say about her mental health, but she wasn't being required to go to St. Mungo's because of that specifically. On that note, Claricia supposed that she could relate, in part, with that concern. As much as it pained her to correct the other patient in that moment, she did. "I'm not here for work, actually," she stated. Not exactly one to let people down gently, Claricia knew that her choice of words could have been more biting. Still, she didn't doubt that she had come across as a little less than polite.

finn kylie nottingham

[finn kylie nottingham]

▲

She knew she was doing it again. Oversharing. Though most of it was talking to herself because she was bored and didn’t know what else she could talk about with the stranger. Sitting in quiet was preferable to most people, but Finn had been subjected to so much silent desk work over the last year that she was sick of keeping everything she wanted to say inside her head. Especially when it came to complaining about work. Getting back into all of it again was proving to be a lot more difficult than she initially thought, no thanks to her own actions a year prior. Going stir crazy now was the least of her worries, because they (the doctors) really didn’t think she was fit to go back into everything. Apparently dropping a building on top of her wasn’t nearly as welcomed over here as it was back home. Or something like that.

The other woman made some sort of noise as Finn was talking, but she didn’t really pay attention until she heard that her waiting room companion wasn’t here for work. Finn stared at her, and then down at her form from the physician. This was the correct room, right? Seeing the number on the sheet of paper, she crossed back towards the door and pulled it open, making sure that it matched what she had. It did. She realized then that it was a general waiting room, and not one that was specifically set aside for aurors, like certain portions of the hospital were. Her face felt hot as she figured out exactly what she had been doing the whole time to the stranger. “I am so sorry. I thought this was for aurors and the rest of the law enforcement…” She knew she should have kept her mouth shut the second she walked in. Taking her seat again, she found it difficult to look at the other woman, absolutely embarrassed by her mistake. “That was extremely insensitive of me. I shouldn’t have assumed like that.”

@claricia ● 339 ● Scent of Evil by Chelsea Grin

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

January 13, 2026

The other patient seemed confused to hear what she had to say about not being there for work and apologized. Claricia expected that apology to be tied to something like mistaking her for someone else from wherever she was working, but it was apparently the case that she had mistaken "this"—potentially meaning the ward, though Claricia doubted that she meant the entire hospital—for being for Aurors and law enforcement. Claricia knew that there were certain beds in St. Mungo's reserved for Ministry workers in the most dangerous occupations, but it felt incredibly obvious to her that the whole hospital wasn't teeming with Aurors. The American woman seemed not to have been there before, at least, so it could have been worse. Claricia didn't really want to imagine how it could have been worse, but it could have been.

At least the American woman did give her something close to an apology, saying that that had been "extremely insensitive" of her and that she "shouldn't have assumed like that". She probably shouldn't have made that assumption; Claricia was in agreement with her there, but she didn't really know what to say. Maybe she was more of an outlier than she thought she was. She knew that her mental state was such that she was relatively functional and capable of holding a job, and she knew that she didn't exactly fit the stereotype of a "crazy person"—not externally, anyway—but how much was that really worth?

Not the type of person to overshare, and especially not with a stranger, Claricia supposed that remaining silent would be better than saying something and ending up chewing out someone who worked somewhere in law enforcement. Her Quidditch career was always going to be remembered as having ended horribly; she really didn't want to add an arrest into the mix. Still, trying not to come across as completely hostile, Claricia muttered a quick, "Cheers," under her breath.

At some level, she was grateful for the fact that most Americans didn't seem to care a bit about Quidditch, thanks to the existence of Quodpot. She would have liked to think that an American in law enforcement could have avoided putting their foot in it better than this woman had done, especially when she looked old enough not to be some sort of trainee. Sitting in awkward silence was uncomfortable anywhere but it felt even more so then.

Seeing no way out of it apart from finding some outdated reading material, Claricia stood and went over to the magazines. They were all trash, really, so she could have picked any of them up and kept her fingers crossed that maybe they weren't all abysmal. She kept flipping through the selection, hoping that maybe that would cause something else to materialize. When she saw a copy of a Quidditch publication with her own face on the cover, she groaned. "F**k… Are you joking?" It was just her luck.

finn kylie nottingham

[finn kylie nottingham]

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Shoving her nose into her phone was all Finn could reasonably do now. She had overstepped way too far and absolutely made herself out to be an asshole. Prying into someone else’s business like that wasn’t cool regardless of what they were there for. Assuming it was because of work clearance still didn’t pass. They were both there to see a doctor, and jumping to conclusions like she had was incredibly unprofessional and intrusive. She could feel her face already burning in embarrassment, and had she been able to reschedule, she would have. But this would get her back to work fully. Skipping out on this would absolutely reflect poorly on her exams and get her back on a desk for another six months. There were times over the past year where she wondered why she even continued with it, since she had been doing pretty well in her early retirement.

Finn peered over her phone as she watched the woman stand up, most likely to find someone to report her for being grossly annoying. Saying she was an auror would only take a few people talking to eventually have it come back on her. Being a guest and one of the few MACUSA aurors would mean it would reflect poorly on them, more than the trouble she had already caused. Had the building crushed her, this never would have been a problem in the first place.

The woman suddenly swore, and Finn nearly jumped out of her seat. Had she really pissed her off that much? Because she totally understood if she had, but Finn also didn’t think she was capable of handling someone absolutely losing their shit in the middle of a waiting room. “Again, I’m really sorry…if you want I can leave?” Finn said quietly as she stood up, collected her belongings, and started moving quickly behind the woman and towards the door. “I can have the nurse buzz the doctor if you need them?”

@claricia ● 328 ● Requiem by Angelmaker

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

January 13, 2026

Why did being in the waiting area of the hospital make it even harder for her to maintain her sanity? Claricia didn't regret most of her Quidditch career, but the awkwardness of having her face plastered on some magazine cover was more than she could take at that moment in time. Sure, she probably shouldn't have sworn so loudly in a public place, but that wasn't too out of the ordinary for her. She was used to cursing like a sailor on the pitch, but that didn't always translate well when she wasn't surrounded by other Quidditch players.

Case in point, the quietness with which the other woman in the waiting area apologized and said that she could leave if she wanted her to. Claricia, frankly, didn't see the point in that and thought that that would have been rather stupid of her. Even though she had been praying more than she would have liked of a stranger, especially, she still had an appointment. Still, that didn't stop the stranger from gathering her things and going in the direction of the exit. "I can have the nurse buzz the doctor if you need them?"

Claricia blinked. Apart from the woman's having mentioned the "doctor", rather than the "Healer", she was amazed that this woman was just getting up and leaving because of an expletive. "F—" Claricia started, only to pause when she realized that cursing probably wasn't in her best interest. "No, it's alright," she told the other woman, sitting back down awkwardly where she had been sitting before. She motioned a little to signal that the stranger could sit back down, not really knowing what else to do, and sighed through her nose. "I just don't understand why the—why they've got my… face on the sodding thing."

finn kylie nottingham

[finn kylie nottingham]

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She thought it was going to be an absolute blow-up. Finn had wrangled people that had taken one too many potions before, or gotten addicted to ingesting pieces of magical plants that weren’t meant to be, but this area wasn’t part of her expertise. She wasn’t a doctor, or even that good at healing charms past the basics, and mental health stuff really threw her for a loop whenever it was brought up during seminars and training exercises. Hit-wizards probably went through more of that, but MACUSA had a fairly lax stance on it, even when she went blowing up buildings or taking out crime syndicates from within. Being undercover had its toll, but Finn knew her limit. Plus, criminals were easy to dehumanize, as awful as that was. This woman though? She didn’t want to get in her way if she had just tipped her over the edge a little too much.

Finn had made it to the door when she heard another f-bomb start to form, but was then told that it was alright, and that one of the magazines only had her face on it. She stared at the woman, concerned at first that she was now seeing things, but realized that one of the Quidditch magazines she had looked at did seem to look familiar, and the woman’s face did happen to be on it. “Better that than in a newspaper for blowing something up,” Finn said absentmindedly as she let out an exhale. “Because trust me, you do not want your name attached to one of those articles. Super not cool.” Though the one that had been raked over the coals was Claire Slater, who had supposedly been the one that gave up Finn’s name in the first place. The only problem that had really caused was the immediate calls from her parents, who only got notified because she couldn’t have her weekly phone call with them due to being in the hospital laid up.

@claricia ● 330 ● Majesty by Ghost

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

January 13, 2026

"Better that than in a newspaper for blowing something up," the stranger noted in response to her. "Because trust me, you do not want your name attached to one of those articles. Super not cool."

Claricia knew that the woman was only trying to employ some self-deprecating humor to relieve the little bit of tension that had developed between them, but the way in which she had worded it hadn't really helped. She didn't want to hear about anything blowing up in any form, if she could help it. It still sent a chill down her spine, at best, though at least she hadn't had to sit through some overshared description of whatever had blown up. From the sound of what the other patient was saying, though, the explosion she had been attached to hadn't been, say, a potioneering mishap.

Still, what the woman said—even if it wasn't directly related to what she had been through—stuck in her head. She hated how easily people could use some words as though they held no meaning or substance. Claricia tensed up but said nothing in reply initially, not wanting to come across as harshly as before because of her having nearly led the other patient to walk out. She looked down at the floor instead of at her waiting room companion and knew that the color must have been draining from her face. "Can, er… we not talk about… explosions?" she requested, though the tone she used was flat and made it sound much closer to a statement. Claricia knew that the woman probably meant well enough, but it wasn't helping in the slightest. "…Please."

finn kylie nottingham

[finn kylie nottingham]

▲

Finn was socially stupid sometimes. She talked incessantly and forgot how to shut her mouth when she got nervous, especially in awkward situations brought on by herself. How she managed to pull that altogether and get an Auror job (and twice at that!), be competent at it most of the time, create Ouroboros out of the ashes of the Order, and then date a member of British royalty was an absolute mystery to her now. Ever since the accident, things definitely weren’t the same. She wasn’t sure if that was due to her thoughts about her inadequacy as an Auror or exhaustion from having to constantly be held responsible for things. The break she had taken after she ran off to London had been nice, and she found herself thinking about it a lot lately. But what else was out there for her? There was always that voice in the back of her head that told her being in law enforcement was the only thing she should do, because she was sort of decent at it. Her only other talent was being an idiot and eating pizza. There weren’t too many jobs out there that could utilize both of those skills and leave her with a sense of worth.

But the reason she was stupid today was because the woman was asking her to not speak about explosions. That made sense, but it was so much worse when she realized the extent of it. The woman’s face was on a Quidditch magazine, so there was a safe assumption she was a player. And what had happened a few months ago at a Quidditch match? An explosion. Finn could feel her face starting to burn in embarrassment. There was no reason for her to be blabbing on about anything inside of a waiting room for a psychologist. “I-” she started to say, but cut herself off. There was nothing she could say or do now, as that was only going to make it worse and sound like an excuse for being insensitive. Even if she didn’t know, there was no reason to be talking about something like that to begin with, here of all places. Instead of saying anything else, Finn forced her lips together tightly and took her seat again, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. If she had the option to change the appointment, she would. But she also still needed to get cleared for work again.

@claricia ● 411 ● John Hughes Movie by Maisie Peters

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

January 13, 2026

Claricia knew that the younger woman who was also in the waiting area with her had really put her foot in her mouth and didn't need her to tell her that. It was incredibly awkward for her, and that ended up making it incredibly awkward for the both of them. At the same time, it would have been hypocritical of Claricia to say that she had never been in a similar situation. She was someone who wasn't particularly known for her tact, either, especially when it came to her temper on the pitch. She said things without thinking very much about them, and now she was on the receiving end of something sort of similar.

The only difference was that at least the young woman hadn't cursed at her or worse because of it. She was obviously embarrassed by the turn that their conversation had taken, though; that much was quite clear, but Claricia didn't know what she was supposed to do about that. It had happened. It sucked to be reminded of one of the worst days of her life, but Claricia also knew that she would never be able to escape it no matter how many Healers she met with. That day and that match would stay with her as a reminder of how unfair life was and of the guilt that she still felt.

They called it "survivor's guilt". If it were only that, Claricia thought, then that very waiting area at St. Mungo's would have been filled with people who had been at the match that day, but it ran deeper than that. She had told the Healers before—and she had tried to tell herself—that she wouldn't beat herself up over what she couldn't go back and change, but she had certainly failed there. It led her to sit in silence as the other patient searched for something to say to make it up to her (or whatever was running through her head).

Trying to be civil, Claricia kept herself from focusing too much on what had happened with this young woman in law enforcement. It was either that or allowing her mind to wander back to another dark place, though, not that her brain typically gave her much choice. It felt as though an hour had passed before she replied, and the only reason that she knew that it hadn't been was because she looked up with a sigh and saw the young woman still sitting there.

"Thanks," Claricia said to her weakly as she ran a hand through her hair, wondering if it would have been better if she had been more forward from the start. She would have to open up about what had happened and how she was feeling during her appointment, and that was more than sufficient.

finn kylie nottingham

[finn kylie nottingham]

▲

She hated sitting silently, especially after mentally reprimanding herself for the stupid and insensitive comments she had just made to the other woman. Her brain was still telling her that she had to keep apologizing, as if that would magically make the entire situation right itself and sort out the situation Finn started. But she kept her mouth shut and continued her new silent vigil in the waiting room, eyes trained on the medical poster across from her on the wall. Reading it over and over again was all she could do until she was called. This is probably what her superiors meant when they told her to slow down and to not be overly aggressive and on top of things. She tended to overstep her boundaries big time, and while it worked out well on certain kinds of jobs, things didn’t work that way over here. New York City was completely different than London. MACUSA wouldn’t have batted an eye if she accidentally brought down a building already scheduled for demolition. But that was part of the problem, because this wasn’t New York and she wasn’t working directly under her old handlers. This sort of thing didn’t fly here at all.

After a few minutes of silence, Finn heard her name called and she stood up and headed for the door. She still wanted to apologize to the woman again, but kept her mouth shut as she went through the door. Now she had to focus on the questions being asked and trying to get everything correct to head back to work. The appointment was quick and painless, obviously, and after a short amount of time she was given a signed slip of paper and told to get her records from the receptionist. According to the doctor, she was all set to head back. That was a relief. Exiting the exam room, she passed through the waiting room again silently. There was literally nothing she could say or do that would fix anything that had happened to the woman, and she was sure she was going to end up as a topic of conversation in a moment here. Grabbing her records at the front desk, Finn took her leave and immediately headed back to her department head to turn over the paperwork. Come tomorrow, she was probably going to be back on the force.

[Finn End]

@claricia ● 395 ● Talking To Strangers by Maisie Peters

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Deleted]

January 13, 2026

For someone who was more accustomed to the fervor of being on a Quidditch pitch (or yelling at her team for the horrible job they had done in a match after the fact), Claricia welcomed the silence that had come over the waiting room. It was awkward and could have been avoided very easily, but having to sit in awkward silence was better than trying to come up with anything more to say to explain herself or her mental state—which had gone downhill since she had stepped inside the hospital. It wouldn't be long until her appointment, so she kept her focus on her lap.

As soon as she heard someone's name, she turned her head, only for it to register with her that it wasn't her name but that of the Auror with whom she had had the misfortune of sharing the waiting area. The other woman said nothing else to her, though, as she made her exit from the room. Neither did Claricia want to say anything to her. She had said what she had to say, and her having thanked the other woman was about as friendly as she had the patience to be with her. Next time, she swore, she would make sure to make an appointment for when she wouldn't have to deal with other patients, if that were even possible.

finn kylie nottingham
Fin!