the monsters in me (philip)

[Deleted]

Andy just let her feet lead her now, knowing exactly where they were going to take her. The Room Of Requirement was probably already forming her music room as she was marching toward it. The walk back into the castle, the climbing of the stairs, it should have calmed her down. But no, her breathing and crying only got worse as she walked briskly. She avoiding everyone, sure to turn her face away from them and avoid anyone who may have tried to stop and ask her if she was okay.

She burst into the room, picking up her violin and her bow, turning swiftly toward the sheet music.

But the music didn't come. Her hands didn't move.

She stood there, shaking, for several long moments before she let out a long scream.

One of the only people how understood her was gone- taking by the villains the kidnapped so many others. What she wouldn't give to talk to her right now. To beg her to help explain what was happening to her. Why did they take her?

She dropped her bow and gripped her violins neck with both hands, swinging it until the instrument made contact with the wall beside her. Then the floor, then the music stand which toppled to the ground.

Her breath was rapid, harsh and painful. She dropped the broken violin, her back hitting a wall until she slid down it. She sat on the floor for a moment before turning to her side and just laying on it instead. Sobs racked her body and she lie there.

@philiplongbottom

 

[Deleted]

@lestrange

Phil left the courtyard, and thought for a moment about where Andy may have gone. But he knew. She would go to her music. That was where she went when she needed to cool off. Though he had never seen her as upset as she was today.

Arriving on the 7th floor, Phil saw the room or requirement door and knew she had to be in there.

When he opened the door, he had expected music to be flowing out of it. Not the heart-aching sobs he heard. Pieces of wood and string were scattered across the floor and Phil's heart sunk when he realized what it was. A violin, smashed to pieces.

He took a moment to take in the rest of the room, similar to the other times he had been in the room with her. Except Andy was in no position to talk.

Shutting the door behind him, Phil walked over to where she was sitting, and knelt down next to her. He wrapped his arms around her shaking body, holding her tightly. He didn't say anything, just held her. They could talk later.

[Deleted]

Andy heard someone come in, but she didn't bother to look. Only one person would have access to the room when she was playing music. Even after things had fallen through with them she hadn't taken that out of her requirements for her music room. No, it would keep anyone out who wasn't Philip Longbottom. Her best friend, her confidant, the only person she fully and completely trusted. The only person she understood her feelings for clearly. She loved him, she had always known that. She was never confused about it, not in the slightest. No, she just knew it shouldn't happen because they were practically brother and sister now. She had pushed her feelings aside, but never internally denied their existence.

So, she accepted him closing in on her and wrapping his arms around her shaking body. She clasped his arm with her hands, allowing herself to let the crying and shaking cycle it's way through. She didn't know how long they sat like that before, finally, she turned her head to look up at him. She didn't say anything, but tried to give a silent thank you with her eyes.

@philiplongbottom

[Deleted]

@lestrange

There was a wonderful completeness he felt in his heart that didn't fit with the tears on Andy's face. But it did fit with the look she gave him, the look of complete gratitude.

Phil let a smile spread over his face, not a big one, no this one was for comfort and for understanding. He would be here as long as she needed him to be, he wasn't about to leave her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he muttered to her. The room had grown still and it felt wrong to speak out loud.

[Deleted]

She found herself lifting a hand to brush the side of his face gently. The tears stopped flowing, for now, and her eyes widened slightly. "I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to find out that way," she said, her voice was soft but clear. Steady. She was sorry that he had to find out that she loved him in that way. In such a horrible moment of an embarrassing emotional outburst.

She wasn't embarrassed now, though. She was almost glad that it was all out in the open. Her smile was growing as she looked up into those familiar eyes. That blonde hair... she felt terrible about leaving Albus like that. Broken and probably scared of what she was about to do to him. Heck, she was scared about what she was going to do to him. But Albus was right. She shouldn't have followed her emotions int that regard. She shouldn't have taken ending her relationship with Phil the way she had. But it was hard. It was hard changing her emotions to be something a little more 'family friendly'. She didn't understand how to be his friend.

[Deleted]

@lestrange

Phil held Andy in his arms, and he knew that there was nothing he had ever experienced that gave him as much joy as he felt right at that moment. Her hand brushed his cheek and he closed his eyes for just a moment, leaning into her touch.

She told him she was sorry he had learned it that way. It. that she loved him. Honestly, if he hadn't walked in on her and Albus, he was not sure she ever would have told him. But now that it was out in the open, he felt secure.

"Andy, I don't care how I found out. I am just relieved to know that you love me too." He confessed. He loved her. He had known for ages, but hadn't told it to himself because it hurt too much. But now the emotions wouldn't be hid.

He cradled her head with one hand, his thumb brushing over her cheek. This was exactly what his mother didn't want. He wanted to respect his mom, but he wasn't willing to lose Andy again. So if they were going to make this... relationship work, he was going to have to take the lead in it. The more he thought about it, the more he realized Andy's only other relationship was with Jude... (other than Albus) and that was not an ideal template to create more relationships.

[Deleted]

"Too?" she questioned, though it was obvious what that meant. He had been feeling the same things for her that she had for him. They already knew that to an extent over Christmas break, before they decided to be just friends and Andy majorly sucked at acting like a friend. But it was different now... things could be different now. In all reality, it was thanks to Albus. Thanks to Albus Andy had actually started experimenting with having emotions and showing them to people she trusted. He seemed to have been slowly learning the same thing, and together they were both growing in that area. However, now that those emotions were accessed, Andy knew her other emotions could be too. Fear, anger, wrath... those were things deep inside her that she knew would come out to play.

But maybe Phil could ease that process.

"Then let's fix this. Fix us. You're my best friend, Phil. I want to be that again."

@philiplongbottom my bff!!!

[Deleted]

@lestrange

Phil felt his muscles relax, any anxiety about this moment suddenly dissipated. He hugged her tighter to his chest.

"Please. Let;s be best friends again. Let's just be friends. Let's talk together and walk around school. Andy, I just want to be with you, to help you, and for you to help me." He whispered into her hair. "I love you, Andy."

Once again, his universe was right.

[Deleted]

Andy hugged him as he pulled her closer and nodded into his shoulder. "Friends first?" she asked, though it came out as a mumble. As she hugged him she lifted her chin to rest on his shoulder and her eyes found the broken pieces of her violin scattered around the room.

Whether it was a laugh or a sob, she wasn't sure, but she pulled away in order to sit up and gesture to the room behind him. "Aw, it's totally busted," she frowned. It would take come complicated magic to repair it. Knowing how the instrument worked would help, but she wasn't sure if she had the capacity to do it right now. She dropped her hands into her lap.

"I wanna go home," she muttered. And no, she was not referring to the Lestrange household, not at all. She was referring to a woman with blonde hair and bright eyes and her knack for making you feel welcome even when you didn't want to be. She was referring to a brave man with many scars who had offered to save her, to take her away from her dark life. She was referring to a young boy with blonde hair whom she worried about constantly, but always made her smile. She was even referring to the girl, the one who seemed unwilling to accept the reality of her and Rory moving in. She even wanted that.

And, of course, she was referring to the boy in front of her and their joining rooms. To cooking in the kitchen and helping take down the Christmas decorations. To the people who loved her enough to show their concern for her well being when it came to her and Phil. They just wanted them to be careful and to think this through. She could do that, right? She could be friends with him and still love him, right?

Right now, in this moment, all of that seemed easy. And she smiled at him.

@philiplongbottom

[Deleted]

@lestrange

Phil was so relieved to be talking to her again, and friends was all he had wanted in the first place. Granted that had turned into something else as time went on, but he just wanted her in his life, in all of it. And if she wanted that to be a friends, then that was what he wanted too.

"Friends first." he promised. and hugged her tighter as she shifted in his grip.

Then she saw her violin. Her voice broke and her arms fell, her hands laying in her lap. Phil pulled away a bit, trying to look into her eyes.

"We'll fix it. Together." he promised, taking on her hands in his, a gesture of security and the strength of his promise. He would find a way to fix it. He didn't know how, but it would happen. A million thoughts seemed to be going on in Andy's head but the one that made it to the surface was home. Home where everything was simpler. Less dangerous, safe.

"I am sure if we asked my dad, he would let you go home. Especially if I ask mom first. She is worried enough about us here as it is. Do you want me to ask them?" He was sincere. If she wanted to go home then she should. If she wanted him to go with her, then all the better.

He had some bitter feelings in his chest, left over from the months of ignoring each other. But he didn't need them, and Andy didn't need them. So he let them go. He expected it to be hard, for them to cling to his heart, unwilling to be released. But they were gone, they couldn't last when Andy needed him.

[Deleted]

We'll fix it. Together. She felt her spirit lift slightly at that promise. As he suggested asking if he should try to get her home, she shook her head and actually felt a chuckle breaking free from her lips. "No, no. It's a figure of speech, really. Don't all kids whine about wanting to go home when they're stressed out?" she said, turning toward him with a soft smile, glad to have her hand in his.

She leaned toward him until her head was resting on his shoulder. "For now let's just sit here," she suggested. She didn't want to talk anymore, nor did she want to go back out into the rest of the world. No, they would just sit there for however long it took until she was ready to be again. It was nice to disappear for a while, cease to exist and find solace in silence.

@philiplongbottom (new thread for these babes! <3)