the heaviness in my heart belongs to gravity [odette]

[Deleted]

the heaviness in my heart
belongs to gravity

His sister had been taken, and Royal was finally beginning to realize that he might never get her back. Taken did not necessarily mean killed, but…it could. He ached at the thought, but he had had hope before and been sorely disappointed. His hoping could not save Adelaide any more than it could have saved his father, and Royal could not afford to look through rose-colored glasses. His heart was just beginning to heal, and at least if it broke again he could say that he expected it to happen. At least he had some protection against the darkness that would descend and smother him, and at least when he thought of Adelaide, he could…he could…

His sister had been taken, and Royal was finally beginning to realize that if he never got her back, he would not be okay. He swallowed hard, then sighed. He hated being alone when he was in pain; it was easier to ignore when there were other voices piled on top of the one in his head that whispered evil, evil words about funerals and graveyards and memorials. The Leaky Cauldron was the closest place he could think of that was sure to have at least one other person, probably more. It was dinner time, so he could also grab himself a bite to eat. Fish and chips sounded nice.

Royal ducked into the pub, and strolled over to an empty table for two. He ordered his food and let himself be lost in the chatter. Sound waves were even better than regular waves at washing the world away.

@odette

[Deleted]

Word of the attack and kidnappings at Hogwarts had reached the rest of the world fast. Odette had not been expecting to feel such a rush of absolute panic when she had heard that students had been kidnapped. Immediately she had gone to great lengths to get her hands on a copy of the list of names before it had been released to the public; she had to know if Adrian, Max, or Jamie were on that list. She could deny it all she wanted but the kids had found their ways into Odette's seemingly cold hearts and while she didn't show it, she cared for them in a way that she would be heartbroken if anything had happened to them. She had been relieved, however, when she found that the three of them remained safe and unharmed still at the school. But the fact that she had gone out of her way to get her hands on such a list still sort of shocked her and she found she needed a drink. Stat.

The closest pub that still managed to be open after the news of an attack was the inn; The Leaky Cauldron. So that was where Odette found herself as she practically dragged her feet through the door and was headed to the bar when she caught sight of a familiar face. Immediately, her eyes widened and she found herself running over to Royal Shacklebolt across the small diner hall and when she had reached him, threw her arms over his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. She had read his last name on that list of kidnapped students... one of his sisters had been taken.

"Royal," Odette breathed into his shoulder, hugging him tightly. "Roy, I'm so sorry."

@royal

[Deleted]

the heaviness in my heart
belongs to gravity

The fish was okay. The chips were okay. Everything tasted okay. It all tasted the same, actually. Sort of like salt, sort of like cardboard. Salted cardboard wasn’t as bad of a taste as he had expected. There were a lot of things that he hadn’t expected, like arms suddenly flinging themselves around her body. He hadn’t thought to ask anyone for a hug since he had heard the news, but it was nice, even if he wasn’t sure of the identity of the hugger. Once she spoke, though, Royal recognized Odette’s voice, and sagged a little into her arms.

“Hey, Odette.” He said, pushing aside his salted cardboard in favor of paying attention to her. “I’m fine.” He assured her. It was a reflex that he had developed after his father had died, and his voice sounded surprisingly believable, at least to Royal’s own ears. “Do you want to sit, or are you going to stay there all night?” He asked as an attempt at a joke. This wasn’t as actually as hard as he thought it’d be. He just had to put on a mask. Masks weren’t impenetrable, and he knew that he’d probably end up having to explain himself to Odette in approximately ten seconds. He’d just cut out the waiting time for both of them. “I’m not fine.” He stated, voice sounding like he was reading off of a script rather than actually saying it. He needed to get better at this whole emotions thing. “You should be really glad you don’t have sisters. All they do is run off and get kidnapped.” Royal paused. “Hey, at least you don’t care if your dad dies, right?” His sense of humor was just getting worse and worse as he came closer and closer to hysteria. He should have stuck with salted cardboard.

@odette

[Deleted]

Odette held onto Royal for a few more seconds after she felt him lean into her, really not wanting to let him go. The things he had been through in so little time... she could not imagine how she would feel and having lost a parent herself, she knew to an extant what it was like. And she knew he needed a hug. She pulled away when he said he was fine, but Odette didn't believe it for a minute. As much as she hated to think it, there was no way that Royal was 'fine'. His father, killed... and almost a year later, his sister kidnapped. She knew him and she knew he was not alright.

Odette let his attempt at a lighthearted joke pass as she took a seat across from him, glancing down at the food he had been eating. She wasn't hungry, but she wanted to make sure he was at least eating. He seemed to be, which was good. She sat there, folding her arms across her chest and leaning them on the table as she watched him. The look on her face was nothing but sympathetic as she waited then finally, he admitted to not being fine. A small frown dawned on her face as he spoke but then turned into a thin, tight line as she bit her bottom lip at his words.

The curse breaker didn't speak. She didn't care if her "father," if that was what you could call him, died but... she did have sisters. Granted, she was never, ever close with them and had only found out about their existance recently... she would still feel horrible if something like this had happened to them. Hell, she felt bad that this had happened to Adelaide. She shook her head and looked down at the table, silently. After a moment of silence, she let out a sigh. "Roy, Vic isn't going to let them get away with this," she said, slowly looking back at him. Her eyes were full of sadness as she spoke.

@royal

[Deleted]

the heaviness in my heart
belongs to gravity

Royal’s eyes followed his friend as she moved around the table and sat across from him. It was hard to meet her gaze, especially because she seemed to believe that everything would be okay. How could she not understand that hope was just too hard in a situation like this? “Victoire is not a god, Odette.” He told her. She knew that just as well as he did, but the way she said it made it seem like Odette expected Victoire to swoop in and save the day. Royal had faith in her, of course, but he didn’t expect Vic to be able to fix every problem that ever presented itself. It simply wasn’t possible. “And I wish that I could be optimistic about this situation, but I really can’t. My sister was taken from her school in broad daylight by an unknown force, and there is no way that this story ends up well in my head.” He stared at the half-eaten piece of fish for a while before finding his voice again.

“I really do wish that Vic was a goddess. I wish that she could see everything, because then she could tell me if my sister was alright. I wish that she could raise people from the dead, because then my father would be here, and he’d know what to say. But she’s just a human, just like me, just like you. She can’t do those things.” He wished she could do them, though, because Royal was lost, and he just wanted some sense of direction. That had been Victoire, but he was too terrified of what would happen to him, and to their relationship, if she failed and the students were never found. Turning his face back Odette, Royal blinked to clear the sting of unshed tears from his eyes. “And even if she does find them, and they do pay for what they’ve done, what use is it to me if my sister is dead? I try to be a good person, I really do, but I am selfish.” The world had already taken from him, and it never seemed to be satisfied with what he’d already given it. What would be next? His mother? Abigail? Himself?

@odette

[Deleted]

Odette could feel her heart aching for her friend inside of her chest. Her brow was furrowed in worry and sadness and she wore such a sad frown as she looked at Royal. She knew Victoire wasn't a god but if anything, she knew their best friend wouldn't let anything else bad happen. "Roy, you and I both know that Victoire and Harry Potter and are not going to let this slide on by," she said, looking at him with reassuring but intense eyes. "From what I've heard, they have aurors out scouring all the abandoned buildings from here until Ireland." That seemed like a start to Odette.

It had been an extremely hard year for the Shacklebolts and after this, it was finally clear to Odette just how badly Royal was hurting, how badly he was suffering. Her heart skipped a beat in sadness. She felt her lip quiver just slightly at his sad words. When he finished speaking, she slowly moved her hand across the table and took his own in hers. "Royal, you are not selfish." She shook her head at him just once. "What you are feeling... it's - it's normal. But you are not selfish." She gave his hand a squeeze but didn't let go of him.

@royal

[Deleted]

the heaviness in my heart
belongs to gravity

Royal knew that he was being petulant, but he had a lot of questions to ask if Victoire and Harry Potter combined were enough to fix any problem in the Wizarding world. Where had they been when his father died? It seemed that they were never able to stop tragedies from happening, just clean up the mess when they did. Who cared if there were Aurors looking all over the country? They should have been there when the castle was attacked to make sure that none of the kids were taken in the first place. The more he thought about it, the more Royal’s apathy transformed into something akin to anger. He pushed it down – anger didn’t help him anymore than any other emotion did, and it felt a lot worse, too. He loved Victoire, and he needed her. Being angry at her was hurting him.

“I just want to understand why bad things happen to good people, Odette. Is there even such a thing as a good person, or do we all deserve the suffering we get?” He squeezed her hand, trying to find the courage to look her in the eyes. “Even if I’m not selfish, I don’t know if I am a good person, or if I just pretend to be.” Royal sighed, and then finally managed to look his friend in the eyes. “If God exists, then I’d really like to know what the hell he thinks he’s doing.” A benevolent God would have kept his father safe, kept his sister home. Maybe God was benevolent, Royal thought. Maybe he was benevolent, but on the wrong side.

@odette

[Deleted]

It hurt Odette to see anyone she was close to feel pain the way Royal was feeling it right now. She had experienced pain before herself, but she felt that her pain paled in comparison. Not only that, but everything that had happened to Royal as of late was all happening so close together and during one of the worst times in wizarding history. It had to be harder on him, she knew that was certain.

Odette looked at her friend with a serious look in her eyes, only the slightest bit of worry in them. She took a moment to wait and say what she wanted to say next. "Everything happens for a reason." She said simply, not looking away from Royal once. "Whoever or whatever is in charge of making that happen is not out to get anyone. Everything just happens for a reason. It shapes you into the person you are or are going to be and Royal," she paused to take his hand with both of her hands now. "I know that you will come out of this, all of this, a stronger person than ever before."

@royal

[Deleted]

the heaviness in my heart
belongs to gravity

Everything happened for a reason. Right. Maybe some higher power wasn’t out to get him, but it sure felt like it. Royal didn’t want to be stronger. He didn’t need to be stronger – wasn’t he strong enough? He was strong enough for himself, but maybe he did need to be stronger. He needed to be stronger for Adelaide and Abigail and for his mother. Royal closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Stronger. Right. He needed to pull himself out of his funk and get back into the world and then, when this happened again – and he was sure it would, given his track record – he would be more ready to handle it.

“Yeah.” He finally agreed listlessly. “Listen, Odette, I should get home. My mom…” In truth, his mother was probably coping better than he was, but people liked to believe still that she was a weakling. As if his father would have ever married someone like that. Royal smiled pitifully at Odette before shoving some Galleons on the table as payment for his meal before. He beat a quick retreat, glancing over his shoulder to see his friend one more time before Apparating away, to where he was safe.

@odette