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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 17, 2016 19:59:12 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2016 19:59:12 GMT -7
@zander (Cause we seriously need this NAOW) Braelynn was healing, slowly but surely. Despite all her efforts to stop the process. And so, unable to do much else, Bay had taken a vow of silence. Despite all of Andromeda and Susan's efforts, she refused to speak,or even look at them. She stayed curled up, arms around her legs and head on her knees, staring blankly at the wall. When they were in the room she pretended as if they didn't exist, withdrawn so deeply into herself that sometimes it wasn't pretending. Her thoughts revolved almost entirely on those missing days in her memory. Despite her best efforts they were still a blur, only able to remember vague bits and pieces. And those bits and pieces were, unfortunately, mostly of the fight with Desirae. And then there was Zander. She felt broken and confused everytime he came up. He thought she was dead, and maybe he was right. She felt dead. No, she felt numb. Like she'd been submerged in icy water until the pain turned into nothingness. Until she couldn't feel anything.
Today was no different then the others. She was curled up on that same corner of the bed as every other day, eyes closed but awake. At the foot of the bed was a tray with food. It hadn't been touched, and had gone cold hours ago. Bay going on a food strike wasn't too surprising, but right now there wasn't much they could do about it. She'd regained just enough strength to not be so easily forced as before. That strength wouldn't last though, and it was now the fourth day of her refusal to eat.
The door opened, and Braelynn didn't move. Didn't react in anyway. It was almost as if she hadn't even hear it, or the footsteps that followed.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 17, 2016 20:33:41 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2016 20:33:41 GMT -7
She was alive.
Zander had finally decided to go back to school for the last two weeks, just to get his homework and final exams done and be able to graduate. After school was over, he went back to his routine of sitting in his bedroom at his parents house and staring out the window. The only difference now was that he was actually paying some attention to his guitar. He'd write music and mess around for hours, not really knowing where any of the inspiration was coming from. It just came to him, like magic. Still, he didn't write any of it down. There wasn't anything worth keeping in his mind. There wasn't anything worth anything, really.
Then Andromeda Lestrange came to his house. He barely even known the girl and had talked to her maybe twice in his entire life. But she had asked for him, even more to his house, so he let her in...
After she told him Zander couldn't breathe. He collapsed onto his bed, sitting there staring at the floor, heart pounding hard in his chest. Andy sat down across from him and explained everything. The state Bay was in, where she was being kept- at his own Uncles house- and why it had taken her this long to tell him. He nodded but wasn't really computing with everything at first. She said to come by any time and she would let him in and then left. He was left there, unable to tell anyone what he had just heard. Not even his family, not yet.
He sat there for two days, still trying to process everything. She was alive. She had experienced some memory loss. She had stopped speaking and tried to refuse help. He couldn't stand to think of that, what state she was in. A small part of him didn't even want to see it, but there was no way he would leave her there. There was no way he could lose her again.
So, he arrived at his Uncles house and was led to the room where Bay was hiding out. He gently pushed open the door, and then he saw her. She was so frail, almost lifeless. He licked his lips nervously, shutting the door quietly behind him before walking over to where she was curled up on the bed. He stepped around her and was on his knees in front of her, For a brief moment he just stared at her, taking her in, before suddenly reaching his hands up to clasp hers, if he could catch them, and bringing her right hand to his heart. "Lynn," he said, but that was all he got out.
@braelynn
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 17, 2016 21:18:39 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2016 21:18:39 GMT -7
Braelynn knew that voice. She knew those hands that had grabbed her own before she could react. She didn't pull away, his touch one of the most amazing things she'd felt but also most painful. It was honestly the first emotion she'd felt in... weeks. Unable to help her, her breath caught in her chest, her heart beating faster with each passing second. Was she imaging him? Was this a hallucination come to torment her? She waited, the seconds ticking by and nothing changed. His hands still held hers. Just as warm as she remembered.
Slowly, Braelynn opened her eyes. It was really him. Zander was here.... She stared into those familiar dark eyes of his as long as she could, her heart beating harder and more painfully with each moment. She didn't even realize that, as she gazed at him silent tears has started to stain her cheeks. After feeling nothing for so long, all the emotions were rushing back to her. Emotions about him. About how much she loved him and the mere sight of him now was the most wonderful think in existence. The heartbreak of knowing that she'd betrayed him, and how she hadn't been able to keep him safe and out of all of this. The fear of not know what he was thinking or feeling. It was too much.
She pulled her hands free of his, bringing them back to herself and tight against her chest as she turned her head away from him and forced her eyes shut.
@zander
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 18, 2016 13:33:43 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2016 13:33:43 GMT -7
Zander felt intense relief when she caught her breath, meaning that she had actually recognized that he was there. He waited in silence for her eyes to slowly open and he stared into them, smiling slightly. He would let her speak first, if she was going to, but couldn't help but kneel a little taller, drawing himself slightly closer to her in order to come to eye level. Then the tears started falling down her cheeks and he bit down his lip, his own eyes starting to brim with tears.
All he was feeling was love, an exploding amount of it. He wanted nothing more than to beg for forgiveness for ever doubting her, he wanted to climb into that bed with her and hold her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her and how he was never going to leave her agai-but she pulled her hands away form his and turned her face away. "Braelynn," he muttered, pulling his own hands back into his lap. Andy had warned him that she could be like this but he still wasn't prepared for it. He pulled back onto his knees and looked down at his hands, tears sliding down his face. He sat there until his crying brought his face into his hands, his body shaking slightly. He tried to be silent, but it wasn't the easiest thing to do.
The girl he loved was lost and he didn't know if he could bring her back. He had foolishly hoped his presence would be enough. His touch. His voice. His voice. His head shot up as he had a realization of what he needed to do. He slowly stood before sitting on the edge of the bed right beside her. He bent down, placing a hand on her back as he kissed her gently on the forehead. "Can I stay a little longer? Would that be okay?" he asked. He could start working on his plan later... plus, he needed inspiration and his muse was right here.
@braelynn
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 20, 2016 20:26:57 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2016 20:26:57 GMT -7
Braelynn didn't want to feel all these.... emotions again. Didn't want to feel the pain and the love. She just wanted to sink back into that void of numbness. Zander's presence had shaken her out of that state though. It brought it all back. Why had he looked at her like that? Like he... like he still loved her? She didn't deserve it. And when she heard him try to control his own tears? It made her shakes tremble slightly, wanting desperately to try and make him stop. He shouldn't be crying! Not because of her! Not after everything she'd done..!
She controlled the urge, because she couldn't bring herself to touch him. She didn't have the right too. Not when she was tainted by the darkness Desire and Elaine had dragged her into. When he managed to get control of himself though, and moved, she almost thought he was leaving. There was a moment of panic and terror. She couldn't stop her eyes from shooting open again, just in time to see him move to her side and feel his hand on her back and lips on her forehead. Braelynn let out a slow, shaky breath and closed her eyes. Where had those emotions come from? Slowly, and for the first time in weeks she nodded ever so slightly. She hadn't showed any signs of acknowledgment, or even understanding in so many weeks that the motion was barely even noticeable and felt completely alien to her. But.... it was progress.
If anyone could help Braelynn find her way back to reality, it would be Zander, her light in the darkness that, despite everything, would not dim.
@zander
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 21, 2016 8:43:53 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2016 8:43:53 GMT -7
She nodded her head and he felt his heart surge with joy in that moment. That was an improvement, he was sure of it. It gave him hope that he could actually make a difference in all this. Make a difference in her. Maybe he could save her. He couldn't deny that he felt this strange pride in the possibility of being the only person who could bring her back. He shifted himself after she had nodded in order to cuddle up behind her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her waist in order to pull her close to him. They laid there for hours, he was sure, until he finally figured it was time to leave. He didn’t want to leave ever but how was he supposed to write a song for her if he was with her all of the time?
”I’ll be back tomorrow,” he said, kissing her cheek once more before moving away and reluctantly slipping out the door. He stopped in the hallway for a moment, catching his breath until his Uncle Carson came to make sure he was okay. After another decent cry in his Uncles arms, Zander finally left, rushing home to pick up that dusty old guitar…
---
He had been there every day for the past few days for several hours or more, slowly trying to get her to speak more and bring her health back. Andy said he was more successful than any of them had been, but it was hard work. Dedicated work.
Today, he was sitting on the bed with her, back against the frame, reading. He wasn't a big reader, but he had started to run out of things to babble on about. "...’Look here, Strawberry,’ said the Cabby. ‘This young gentleman has something on his mind that he wants to talk to the Loin about; you call him Aslan,’” he lowered the muggle fairy story book down and raised an eyebrow over at Braelynn. ”Talking Lions, pretty neat for a muggle book, huh?”
@braelynn (lolololol)
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 21, 2016 20:26:39 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2016 20:26:39 GMT -7
Braelynn had kept her eyes closed the rest of the time Zander was there that first day. Nor had she dared move an inch as he wrapped his arms around her and just..... existed. Hadn't said anything else, which Braelynn was extremely grateful for. It was hard enough keeping the emotions she felt due to his mere presence under control! Anything more.... And she wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle it. Eventually though, she heard him speak and felt him unwrap his arms from around her. Almost immediately she felt cold, as if all the heat had been sucked out of her body. There was no reaction though. Not until he had closed the door behind him. Once alone Braelynn cried.
Zander had lived up to his promise, coming every day since without fail, and usually staying for hours. He had to have the patience of a Saint, because in those days he'd managed to get one other improvement from the girl, and that was attentiveness. She was no longer completely ignoring the existence of others, and would often look at you when she knew she was being addressed. Even Andy and Susan had started to see this slight change in behavior, usually when they were trying to coax her to do something. She never spoke though. Just stared quite intensely at you, and shrunk back if you tried to touch her. Okay, so there was actually two improvements. Because while she wouldn't tolerate anyone else's touch, Zander was the exception. There were still times when she'd pull back, but it wasn't nearly as frequent.
He'd taken up reading aloud now, probably to break up the silence in the room. Braelynn hadn't been paying attention, listening purely to the sound of Zander's voice. At least, she hadn't been paying attention until she heard the pitch change and realized he wasn't reading anymore. She opened her eyes, and looked at him. There was that familiar sting. She'd grown accustomed to the constant emotional turmoil seeing him caused. It felt almost... natural by this point.
"... Are you sure a muggle wrote it...?" She couldn't muster more then a whisper, and even then it was almost to quiet to be one. But despite it's volume it didn't change one very simple fact.
It was the first time Braelynn had spoken in well over a month.
@zander
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 22, 2016 12:28:59 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2016 12:28:59 GMT -7
Zander almost choked.
She spoke. She asked him a question. Now, how he handled this from here on out was very important. He needed to be delicate, but not too underexcited. He needed to be happy, but not overwhelmingly ecstatic like he was on the inside. He needed to be calm, but show that he was proud of her.
How was he supposed to do all of those things at once? He took in a deep breath and nodded, turning the book over to read the name on the cover. ”C.S. Lewis. I mean, I found it in a muggle bookstore so I’m… pretty sure… do you want to see it?” he offered, moving the book slowly towards her. ”The cover doesn’t move, so it must be a muggle book. It’s a series of seven,” he went on, hoping that he wasn’t talking too much. Then he turned toward her slightly, reaching his free hand over to gently touch the side of her face. ”Are you hungry? I could go get something for us. I’m sure Lelia is making lunch right about now…” just stay calm, stay calm.
@braelynn
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 22, 2016 20:28:45 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2016 20:28:45 GMT -7
Braelynn was fully aware of what she'd done. That Zander was now trying to come up with a respectable response to her actually speaking. You couldn't exactly take a vow of silence and be unaware of it. She knew that speaking at that moment would get his hopes up. But after days of him talking endlessly, she couldn't stay... completely silent. She felt that he at least needed to know she was in here. Buried, but still here. So, she waited for his reaction, never looking away from Zander.
Normally the book would interest her. She hadn't read anything in so long, she'd jump at the chance! Right now though, she wasn't really interested in anything. So she made no motion to take the book, glancing down at it for only a moment before looking back at him with that same unreadable look she always had. And, while she didn't pull away when he reached out to touch her, she also didn't reply, just looked away in silence. That was how Braelynn had come to refuse things, basically ignore you and whatever statement she was rejecting. Food, unfortunately, hadn't made much progress with Bay. She did little more then pick at it, and even then it was only to appease those around her. She didn't actually eat anything. It didn't matter how much coaxing Zander, Andy, or Susan did. Bay just would not eat.
@zander
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 23, 2016 15:40:50 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2016 15:40:50 GMT -7
Of course she wouldn’t accept food, he should have known not to take it that far. She didn’t move to take the book either, which wasn’t surprising. He very carefully held back the urge to groan with frustration as she simply looked at it, then at him and then looked away at the mention of food. ”Okay, well, let’s go on…” he said, pulling his hand back to open the book once more. He read four more chapters before he realized that the sun was probably going down and he didn’t even practice his song today. Still, he didn’t want to leave. He never did. If it wasn’t for that song, he wouldn’t… but he knew that he had to finish it if he was going to get through to her.
And if the song didn’t work then he’d give that up all together and just lay here with her until they died.
He closed the book again, gently placing it on the nightstand beside her bed and turning toward her once more. ”I need to get going,” he leaned forward to kiss her forehead once more, ”I-” he widened his eyes, realizing that he hadn’t said I love you the entire time he had known she was still alive. He blinked, not moving away from her for a moment as he contemplated whether it would be okay to say. After a few breaths he decided against it, moving away and pushing off the bed once more. ”Til tomorrow?” he asked tentatively, stopping at the door. Then he slipped out, closing it tightly behind him. That was the first time he didn’t cry after leaving her.
---
Some days had past and Zander was on the fifth book of the Narnia series by now. He had started getting really into them, actually, and even tried to change his voice for certain character. This time he tried a rather high pitched voice for a badger and ended up just laughing at himself and closing the book for a moment. ”Okay, so that was a stretch,” he said, letting his laughter die down as he tossed the book aside onto her night stand again. He was sitting on the bed with her once more, a place that had become the routine. He’d walk in, try to make her eat something, be ignored, and then make his way to his spot on the bed sitting up and reading. Yesterday he had actually gotten some water into her, which was a miracle in and off itself.
After setting the book aside he sighed, maneuvering himself so his arms could wrap around her as he leaned toward her, ”I think I’ll sleep here tonight,” he suggested, even though it was barely lunch time. He could take one nights break from the song, right? Plus, he had barely slept a wink these weeks worrying about her and working on the lyrics and music. It might be nice to just stay with her for a night before attempting this song thing…
@braelynn
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 23, 2016 16:26:30 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2016 16:26:30 GMT -7
Braelynn had, as was expected, gone back into her reclusive state as he continued to read, though she did manage to nod once again when he said he needed to go. To be honest, her days were separated into two parts. When Zander was there, and when he wasn't. Days had literally lost their meaning, and she counted his visits rather then the setting and rising of the sun. Especially since when he was gone she just.... lost track of all time. It could be days between his visits and she wouldn't even realize.
Only... when he left, something different happened. She turned on the bed, unwrapping her arms from around her knees and staring at the book. He always left it. Something about today though... Maybe it was the fact that she'd spoken. But she felt like the ice was melting, just a little.
Bay didn't know how long she sat there, staring at the book before, slowly picking it up...
Obviously, Braelynn didn't tell Zander when he got back the next morning. Or the day after that. In fact, he had no idea that, every time he left, she was rereading what he'd already read. She'd spoken a few more times here and there, but it was still infrequent and completely random when it did happen. And it never happened consecutively, merely a comment here and there, and then a refusal to have an actual conversation. Each day there was more of an alertness to her. No where near what it was before everything, but considering where she started? It was like night and day. Today, as Zander attempted to imitate the character voices as he read, Braelynn was laying on her side next to him, gazing up at him. The corners of her lips twitched slightly, but a smile didn't break free and her expression managed to stay neutral. Though she did blink when he shifted so he could wrap her up tightly in his arms. Sleep here? ".... Are you sure..?" not the first thing she'd said, but it was the first actual response.
@zander
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 23, 2016 16:53:59 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2016 16:53:59 GMT -7
Are you sure? It was the first real response he had gotten from her, at least verbally, and this time he wasn’t able to stop himself from slightly gaping at her as she said it. He took in a breath before speaking again, ”yeah, I’m sure. I could sleep on the chair, or here, or the floor. Whatever you prefer,” he said slowly. He tightened his hold on her even more, if that was even possible, and moved to lean his face into her hair at the base of her neck. He didn’t realize at first that he wasn’t just cuddling anymore, he was full on hugging her now. His hands were still at first but then, after another deep breath on his part, he slowly began to gently stroke her back.
Eventually he remembered that it was probably time to eat something, but he didn’t want to push her any further than she was willing to go. So he decided to just stay there, for now, breathing her in and holding her. Eventually he shifted so he wasn’t crushing her so much, so they both could get some air and just be together. She had made a lot of progress and he wasn’t blind to that. If anything it only gave him more inspiration to bring in the big guns when the time eventually came. He didn’t have an exact date or anything that would tell him when… he would just know. He was sure of that.
@braelynn
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 23, 2016 17:15:41 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2016 17:15:41 GMT -7
There he went again. He always got so... excited when she did something 'new'. Maybe it was the numbing state she was in, but she could never quite understand why he always did that. Or how he hadn't.... given up on her. How he could deal with her like this, and still be his usual happy self. Didn't he remember what she'd done? To him? What she'd been involved in? She actually didn't know. She refused to ask. And he'd never said. Heck, he hadn't even spoken of those four days missing from her memory.
Well, most of those four days. She could remember bits and pieces. And they haunted her. A shape in the darkness and shadows twisting around like vipers. She never saw a face though. And then there was chunks of her... duel with Desirae. The duel wasn't what haunted her though. IT was that... person. The one she couldn't put a face too, no matter what. She felt like it was important. Vital even. But they stayed in the shadows. Always in the shadows....
Braelynn rolled just a little, bringing herself just slightly closer to Zander as he held her. He'd spoken, but she didn't reply. No, she just lay there, silent and... safe? In his arms. Only after an untrackable amount of time, when Zander pulled away a little did she come back to reality. While it might have been hours for him, it'd felt like only seconds to her. "Here." she finally, and softly replied. She didn't look at him though. In fact she actually shifted so her face was half buried in a pillow so she couldn't see him.
@zander
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 23, 2016 17:36:22 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2016 17:36:22 GMT -7
He had of course noticed that she had moved closer to him slightly, but didn’t comment on it. He didn’t even mind the silence in that moment, feeling as though it was perfectly normal to be silent while holding each other like that. Then she spoke, ”here” and he looked at her, his expression soft as he gave a short nod. Then she seemed to shift so her face was partly buried and he couldn’t help but smile at that. He lifted a hand to her hair and leaned forward to kiss the top of her head. ”Here it is, then,” he agreed. He actually skipped lunch that day, not wanting to move from that spot. He was completely content and calm there.
Though, when dinner rolled around there was a slight knock on the door and he was sure it was his aunt or uncle checking if they were still alive in there, since they had been so silent. Zander kissed her head, yet again, before moving away from her to stand. ”I’ll be right back,” he promised before slipping out the door. After some explanation that he hadn’t been hungry for lunch and a bit of pushing, he was suddenly forced with a tray of food in his hand and directed back to the room. It was dinner enough for one person, really, but they encouraged him to get her to eat just a little. He rolled his eyes as Carson opened the door for him and he slipped back inside.
”They told me to eat in here. I guess they think I can force you to touch this,” he shrugged, trying to stay light hearted as he looked down at the tray of food. He moved toward her and set the tray down on the nightstand before climbing back into the bed with her. ”Now, where were we?” he smiled, moving back to snuggle with her again.
@braelynn
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last online Mar 28, 2024 22:52:07 GMT -7
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Mar 23, 2016 17:57:15 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2016 17:57:15 GMT -7
Braelynn shifted to watch him leave, as she often did now a days. She hadn't reacted to his kiss on the forehead, she never did right now though so it was no surprise. But when his back was turned, her lips twitched again, hiding that elusive thing known as a smile. How long had it been since she smiled? She didn't even know anymore. When he came back though, with a tray of food, she looked away. Instant refusal before he could even explain why he'd brought it in. Still, it was a new ploy. If they couldn't make her eat, why not make someone else eat in front of her? See if it could stir up her desire to actually eat. It didn't. By this point, after refusing to eat this long, she'd learned to forget what hunger even felt like.
Only, Zander didn't eat immediately. Instead he got back onto the bed to continue exactly where he'd left off, holding her close. She turned into his arms, and, for a moment almost... almost put her arms around him. Her hands actually shook as they inched closer to him.... A second later though she pulled them back to herself and close to her chest. She just.... wasn't ready. No matter how desperately she wanted to.
@zander
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