hate begetes hate (james)

[Deleted]

@jams

there was a cold chill in the air as albus lay outside one night during the summer. he was watching the stars. one of his favorite things to do above all else was to lay there and watch the lights in the sky. he'd dreamed of exploring them as a child, what it would be like to fly between them. though he'd grown up and learned it wasn't possible but some days he wished he was six again, laying out here with his father and the only thing he had to worry about was getting on with his siblings, crazy schemes and tearing around being a kid. now it was all drama. his life seemed to be nothing but drama. okay so maybe that was a dramatization but it was still there. his mother, him and his brother and the trouble that he had gotten into after having gotten lost in scotland with dusti, people thinking he had damaged the tower and tried to kill his cousins on purpose, he was still trying to convince some people it was an accident. he sighed as he rested his head back on his hands and shifted his gaze about the stars. he had never taken the time to learn anything about them or what he did learn had never stuck, he just liked looking at them. they allowed him to let his thoughts drift and to stop thinking. that was one of his downfalls, he couldn't shut his mind off most of the time. things went round and around in his head and he knew he needed to work on letting things go and to not let things get to him but it was hard. he didn't like the person he was turning into, someone who was moody, lost his temper and took things out on people. he was used to holding things in and here he was the last year blowing up at every little thing and taking his feelings out on people. it wasn't fair on them but he couldn't stop it. though there was one person he didn't regret telling the truth about what he was thinking to and that was his brother james. this rift of theirs had been growing for years and now something between them had finally snapped and he didn't think it was going to be possible to fix it.

[Deleted]

James had always made it a point to put others before himself when it came to those he loved. Though this past year it had been hard with all that had gone on. From seeing the first murdered victim on the train, to his mother losing amnesia... to Lily becoming a werewolf, Albus and he getting into it at a Phoenix Rising meeting, and Albus having a part in taking down the tower which James had been in with Alice. Come to think of it, he and Albus hadn't gotten on at all this year. Not that they had always been the perfect pair of brothers but... this year had been the worst in terms of their relationship. It had really taken a turn for the worst.

James had gone on an evening walk after dinner to sort of clear his head. He wasn't working this summer like the rest of his friends, which meant he would be spending a lot of time at home and that meant time spent around Albus. James wasn't sure what he was going to do with all of his free time. He supposed, in the back of his mind, he could try to mend things with his brother but... Albus had always been just as stubborn as James was when it came to that. While Albus was sorted into Slytherin, he had the pride of a lion. It was a Potter trait.

As James neared the lawn, he noticed a body sitting in what was now the darkness of the early summer outdoors. He stopped but immediately realized it was his brother. He stood there a moment, compelled to keep walking inside but something stopped him. Instead, he slowly moved his hands to sit inside of his jean pockets and he walked over toward his brother. James didn't look at his brother but instead looked up at the sky like Albus did. After not speaking for a few minutes, he finally made his presence known: "How's the view from down there?"

@al

[Deleted]

@jams

"How's the view from down there?" he'd heard his brothers footsteps coming closer over the grass, though he hadn't known it would be james. as far as he knew his brother had been in the house but since he wasn't it showed how much he had paid attention to his older brothers actions. would it be childish if he didn't answer? he didn't feel like a fight with james but the past experience in the last year kinda pointed him in the direction that any conversation they had would end in an argument. he dragged his eyes from the sky to look at his brothers face in the moonlight and he shrugged his shoulders against the grass. "the same as it is for you" he said as he looked back at the lights in the sky. he let out a sigh and lifted his head from the ground and pushed himself up onto his elbow, looking up at his older brother again. "was there something in particular you wanted?" he asked, wondering if james had spoken to him because he wanted something from him. he hoped the summer wasn't going to be like this. he wanted to spend the summer relaxing, he didn't want to have to worry about whether james was around the corner and trying to avoid him. it didn't make being at home any happier.

[Deleted]

After such a rough year so far and having such a rocky relationship with Albus, James wasn't sure what kind of reaction her had been expecting from his stubborn younger brother. His initial response struck a little nerve with James but the Gryffindor alum was not going to lose his cool with his brother because of it. James had let his temper and his own feelings get in the way of their relationship enough this year and he wasn't going to let that happen anymore.

James took his hands out of his jean pockets to fold them across his chest. He shrugged and continued to look up at the stars instead of down at Albus. "Nope, just... thought I'd drop in." And with that, James sat himself down next to his brother and folded his legs so he was sitting criss-cross-applesauce. He didn't say anything, wondering how this sudden change in his position would affect his brother, who was usually a tad bit easy to anger especially lately. But no matter: James would be patient for him.

@al

[Deleted]

@jams

"Nope, just... thought I'd drop in." al wasn't sure how he felt about that. whether he was glad that james was making some sort of effort or to be annoyed because he wondered what was up. the way things had been going between them he didn't think just a conversation was going to have a huge impact on either of them so he did wonder at the back of his mind what james' angle was. "make yourself comfortable" he said as james settled onto the grass next to him, not able to keep sarcasm dripping off the comment. though james should be used to it. that was al, sarcasm since he had learned what the word was. his talking had been full of it and quite often still was, when he spoke to people at all.

he half expected aurora to pop her head out from somewhere and come join them. her and james were often joined at the hip or face more often than not so it wouldn't surprise him if they were hanging around together. though al didn't think she'd be thrilled to see him either, after all during the meeting they had had he'd pretty much done a lot to pt her off side. not that he cared all that much, there were a lot of people who didn't like him because he was honest with them. said what he thought and didn't let people's feelings bug him too much. "don't expect me to make small talk" he said as he looked up at the stars. he despised it, talking about meaningless things and dancing around subjects. it irked him.

[Deleted]

James had to admit, at least to himself, that he wasn't sure what he was going to say. He knew that nothing he could say would immediately change Albus's mind or make him not angry at him anymore. It was going to take time. But lucky for him, James had been born with a sense of humor that let him cope with such things. Much like Albus's own sarcasm, James's humor was how he responded to people, especially in situations like this one. Which was why it didn't surprise him when Albus made a backhanded comment about making himself comfortable.

Again, James wasn't surprised that Albus didn't want to make small talk. They had fought before, as brothers often do, just never this bad. But James knew... deep down, eventually they would both get over it. James was silent for almost about ten minutes after that, silently staring up at the stars next to his brother, even if it felt a little awkward to sit there in such silence. Finally, he spoke. "I'm not mad at you anymore," he simply stated, not even turning to look at Albus. He didn't figure he really had to. "I mean... I'm over it. After all that's happened, I don't see the need to hold onto it anymore." He shrugged, finally and slowly turning to look at his brother to see how he would process these words of apology.

@al

[Deleted]

@jams

"I'm not mad at you anymore," the silence was suddenly broken by his brothers words. words that actually broke al's gaze from the stars above them and he looked over at his brother, using his elbows he sat up and he couldn't help the look that crossed onto his face. one of puzzlement and a little bit of anger. "what did you ever have to be mad at me for" he said. what was there? al telling the truth about what he thought could have happened when james found the girl, blowing up the tower had been an accident , and most of the arguments they had had in the last few months were when james hadn't agreed with how al handled things. though he might have been thinking a little one sided on that, but he couldn't let it slide. "I mean... I'm over it. After all that's happened, I don't see the need to hold onto it anymore." al shook his head and let the frown stay on his face. well if his brother thought that he needed that then that was all well and good. but al couldn't be so forgiving. "well i'm glad you don't see the need to hold onto it. but i can't forget the last six years james. something about your brother not liking you because of a few colors sticks with you"

[Deleted]

James was glad he got a bit of an emotional response out of Albus. He had been expecting a lot less, but he was glad he had sat up more and turned to look at him. He made sure not to let his excitement at the sight show. He wanted to negate Albus's asking him what he had to be mad at him for but he stayed quiet, watching his brother carefully. When Albus frowned, James could feel his own face forming a solemn look. When Albus spoke again, James really hadn't expected his words to affect them as much as they did.

It was true. James had always had a prejudice against Slytherins and he knew that he let that get in the way of he and Albus's relationship a countless amount of times. James looked down at the grass, quite honestly a little loss for words. He felt terrible that Albus had felt that way all these years and James hated that he couldn't take any of it back. He opened his mouth to speak but it was a few short moments before he actually got a word out. "I'm... I'm sorry, Albus," he said quietly, shaking his head. "I... I will be the first to admit that I did treat you wrong for so long and I'm sorry," he spoke and turned his head to look back at his brother. "I... if there was anything I could ever take back, it would be the way I treated you. I mean that."

@al

[Deleted]

@jams

"I'm... I'm sorry, Albus, I... I will be the first to admit that I did treat you wrong for so long and I'm sorry, I... if there was anything I could ever take back, it would be the way I treated you. I mean that." well that wasn't what al had been expecting. he'd expected james to defend his views, sprout on about how al's house was the scourge of the earth to him and what he'd said over the years. he was speechless for a moment. trying to process what to say to his older brother. he looked down at the grass and he pulled a blade from a tuft and he started splitting it with his fingers. he dropped them in his hand and focused on them for a second, needing to think about something other than him and his brother for a moment. he cast the spell in his head, focused on the pieces of grass and made them spin in a twister above his palm. he glanced his eyes to james and blew out a breath onto the leaves, making them break from the small twister and fall all over his brother. "merry christmas" he said softly as he folded his arms over his chest and rested his elbows on his knees. he sighed slightly and rested his chin against his arms. "i .. i guess when i.. what i mean to say is .. it's just" he said, getting a little frustrated at himself that he wasn't able to just say the words. "i .. i didn't .. when i accused you i .. i'm sorry" he said, rubbing his fingers. he wasn't good at saying he was sorry. he didn't do it often, not on something he felt so strongly about but james deserved it. it didn't mean al forgave him for everything .. but it was a start right?

[Deleted]

James continued to watch his brother a little anxiously, his mouth in a thin, slightly worried. line as he did so. He looked at the blade of grass as Albus split it in his fingers, wondering what on Earth could possibly be going through his brother's head. Being Albus, James really didn't expect an apology. He figured that Albus, if anything, would rather just stare at the blade of grass than apologize to him or even accept James's apology. In a way, James thought he wouldn't blame him if he did.

The Gryffindor alumni didn't take his eyes of the blades of grass as Albus blew into them, causing them to form a twister that slowly rose above James and then fell over top of him. James's eyes widened at the trick, impressed, but when Al bean to speak he turned his eyes back at his brother. Was he... trying to apologize, too? James let out a breath of relief and a small half smile formed when the words had left Albus's lips. James knew just apologizing wouldn't erase all that had happened this year but considering all that had happened, it was a start.

"Say," James gave his brother a little nod. "When d'you learn to do all that?" He was, of course, referring to the grass he had blown into a twister. That was enough serious talk for one evening.

@al

[Deleted]

@jams

"Say, When d'you learn to do all that?" al glanced at his hands and tucked them back against his chest and leaned against his knees. he's started at the start of his fifth year. one of the teachers at the school had suggested al try it in order to get a better focus on his magic. "year before last" he said simply. it had taken him two years to get to that point on the wandless magic, but he had learned something much cooler too. something he was worried about showing james encase his brother thought he was showing off. but they were in a sharing mood at the moment it seemed. he rubbed his hand up to his shoulder and looked at james. "it's not the coolest thing i learned to do though" he said, an almost smile coming onto his face. his parents knew and his teachers and the ministry knew of course, his father had made him get himself registered as soon as he'd mastered the change. "my animagus form is a cheetah" he said, leaning his chin on his knee and keeping his eyes on his brother. he steeled himself internally encase james made a smart comment like he normally would, but he tried to hide it.

[Deleted]

Two years. Practically two years and James had never known that his brother knew how to do wandless magic. How had he never bothered to notice? He supposed he could chalk it all up to their being in different houses but at the same time, James knew he could often be very self-involved. And he knew he had acted callous and rude to Albus more often than not. So, it was really no huge surprise that James didn't know such a thing. "Wow," he raised his eyebrows in amazement.

James eyes widened when Albus mentioned that that wasn't the only 'cool' thing he had learned. What else could there possibly be that he had learned that was cooler than wandless magic? James had not at all been expecting the word 'animagus' to leave Al's mouth and when it did... well, James was speechless. He looked at his brother with his mouth hanging open in awe. "You're serious?" James asked, unable to truly believe the words that had left his brothers mouth. It took a long, long moment until a small smirk appeared on his face and his eyebrows relaxed to give Albus a mischeivous, challenging look.

"Show me."

@al

[Deleted]

@jams

"You're serious?" he nodded slightly as he lifted his head from his knees and looked over at james. it wasn't something a lot of people took the time to learn, it had been hard work. he was certain that every now and then he could still taste that damn madrake leaf. he rubbed his hand over the back of his neck as james' face changed and al guessed what was coming. "Show me." he shifted a little so he could change. he was glad he didn't have to strip every time he changed form. it was one of the perks about being an animagus. he focused, closed his eyes and it took a moment but his body stretched and shifted, his form taking a moment to change. once it had finished a cheetah sat where al had been and he shook himself off, sat down on the grass where he had been and stared at james with his usual brilliant green eyes, the one part of him that stayed the same when he changed.

[cheetah form]

[Deleted]

James wore a satisfied, cheeky grin as Albus began to shift in his spot on the grass. He was really going to show him! James had honestly never met an animagus before, as far as he knew, and the fact that his brother was one was unbelievable! He was excited and proud of Albus.

James watched intently, his expression relaxing to one of concentration like the one Albus wore as he was no doubt focusing on the change. He watched as his brother closed his eyes and then his body began to stretch and shift into an animal that stood on all fours: a cheetah. James's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. He was truly in awe at the cheetah that now sat where Albus had. This cheetah was Albus! "Woah!" He exclaimed fairly loudly. "Wha - whe - !? James was at a loss for words. "Do Mum and Dad know?" He asked, only realizing after he said it that Albus couldn't answer as a cheetah.

@al

[Deleted]

@jams

"Woah! Wha - whe - !? Do Mum and Dad know?" al narrowed his eyes at his brother, letting out a huff that james would be right to assume was sarcastic, as he shifted to stand up. he'd shown james and achieved the goal, there was no need to keep the form. it was still a little tiring to make the change so he never stayed in it too long. he closed his eyes and focused on changing back and when he had he shifted from his knee's back onto his butt and folded his legs under him. "yeah they know. i told dad as soon as i could change" he said as he rubbed the back of his neck and rolled his back lightly, cracking it in order to get more comfortable.

[cheetah form]