next time i'll be braver, i'll be my own savior [odette]

[Deleted]

Jamie was sitting in the entrance of the apartment she shared with her older brother, flipping ildly through a book about Quidditch that she had probably read before. It didn't really matter - she was happy. It wasn't exactly a foreign feeling, but happiness had been harder to come by in the past few months. Sitting on the carpet with a book in her life was something so simple, but so nice. She had finished her schoolwork earlier in the summer, when Aaron was out of the apartment for games or whatever. He was out again today, but in the absence of homework Jamie had opted to laze around. Aaron had told her that someone might come calling for him later, hence why Jamie was lounging near the front door, but other than her positioning in the apartment, the announcement hadn't done much to change what Jamie was doing. Jamie flipped the page lazily and began reading about the history of Ballycastle when the doorbell rang. She unfurled herself easily, and swung open the door to reveal none other than the woman who had put her in the position where she felt it necessary to move in with Aaron. "Hi, Odette."

@odette

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Odette had wanted to speak to Aaron alone for quite some time now; ever since she had told Jamie the truth about her lycanthropy. A part of her felt bad, telling Jamie that something she had believed in for so long was not true. But then she would remind herself that she did the right thing. No one, even if they were an annoying little girl who just happened to be your half sister, deserved to think they were born that way. So Odette needed someone to talk to. Not wanting to burden her friends again, she went to Aaron who would likely know more about the situation anyway. Considering he was one and all, and he was related to Jamie too.

So Aaron had invited her over to talk and that was where Odette was headed. She was a little nervous to reveal all of her feelings about her siblings but she figured it had to be done. When Odette reached the door of her half brother's apartment, she gave it a little knock. She waited a moment and then shortly after, the door swung open to reveal not her tall, dark haired brother but her shorter, blonde haired sister. The one she had likely shattered the world of. Jamie.

"Jamie." Odette gave her one nod but didn't look at her.

@jamie

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Jamie studied her half-sister quietly, trying to find something more to say. Odette wasn’t looking at her, and Jamie wondered why. The Hufflepuff couldn’t imagine that it was guilt; probably disgust, Jamie decided. “Aaron isn’t here right now. He won’t be back until later tonight.” The younger sister informed the older. “But you’re more than welcome to come in, if you’d like.” This had probably been Aaron’s plan all along, Jamie thought with a sigh. She hadn’t been covert with the way she felt about Odette following the life-altering realization, and Aaron hadn’t been a fan of some of those feelings. Jamie hadn’t thought that scheming was Aaron’s style, but it wasn’t like Odette just happened to drop by the day Aaron said he was expecting a caller when he wasn’t home, right?

The Hufflepuff took a few steps back from the door, inviting Odette into the apartment while still maintain a polite distance between them. “I live with Aaron now.” She added belatedly, as a way of justifying inviting someone into a home that wasn’t technically hers by any right other than invitation. “Would you like something to drink?” Jamie continued, trying to play the part of the good hostess despite how resounding uncomfortable with the whole situation she was.

@odette

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Odette cursed to herself. It was so like Aaron to tell her to come over and trap her here with Jamie. It was like he was a psychic werewolf or something. Odette kept her eyes anywhere but at Jamie until she invited her inside, and then Odette looked right at her, silent and slightly stunned. After all Odette had said and done to her... she was still inviting her inside? Odette raised an eyebrow and her arms automatically crossed in front of her chest self-consciously. Odette felt like she didn't deserve that, but she was going along with it.

The brunette entered the apartment silently and looked around, appreciating the distance Jamie seemed to be keeping between them. It looked like a guy's apartment but she noticed a few things here and there that looked like a younger girl's things too, that was when Jamie said she lived there now as well. Odette's eyes widened slightly and she kept her eyes casually moving over the apartment, pretending to still be looking around. She made her way into the middle of the room before finally glancing back at Jamie. She shook her head, trying to decline the offer for a drink silently yet semi-politely, at least politely for Odette.

After another awkward minute, Odette fnally spoke up, her eyes still only looking toward Jamie and not at her. "So... you don't live with your mom anymore?" She asked slowly. She was pretty sure she already knew why.

@jamie

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Odette didn’t want a drink, and Jamie wasn’t sure what to do. She had counted on that to busy her hands and divide her attention, put some sort of barrier, however small, between her and her half-sister. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to Odette, it was that she was afraid she was going to say something wrong. Again. When Odette asked the question, Jamie opened her mouth to respond, but found that nothing was coming out. She was so petrified of her older sister’s reaction that she couldn’t even find one word. Jamie clamped her mouth shut, gave herself a moment to think, and then began again. “No.” She managed to eke out slowly. “My mom…well, the lie was a lot more than what you told me about.” Jamie said, looking at her feet to avoid accidentally offending Odette with eye contact. If it happened to hide the way her eyes were watering, then that was just a happy coincidence. “Fenrir came back to our house when I was seven. My mother offered me as…I was…” Jamie hiccupped. The betrayal was slamming her in the chest all over again, probably because this was the only person she never, ever wanted to cry in front of again. “She let him bite me instead of biting her.” Jamie rushed out. “And I can’t even look at her anymore, and now Aaron is all I’ve really got, guardian-wise.” Her voice was back to being steady at the end of her sentence, and Jamie couldn’t help but be proud of that. “Sorry. You didn’t want to know that.” She apologized meekly.

@odette

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Odette didn't look at Jamie right away but when it took a minute for Jamie to respond to her, she couldn't help but meet her sister's eyes. She seemed to be struggling to find words. Odette refused to let herself feel bad. For all she knew, she saved Jamie from finding this out in a much more humiliating or, Merlin forbid, a dangerous way. Odette wanted to feel like she did her half-sister a favor but she just couldn't help but feel like the reason Jamie couldn't find the words to say was because of her.

Odette felt her whole body tense when Jamie finally began to speak. There was more? Now there was nothing else to convince Odette that she did Jamie a favor by telling her this one truth. Odette listened, her eyes now not leaving Jamie's face at all. And as Jamie spoke, as she mentioned his name, Odette felt a fire rising up in her. "My mother offered me as..." That was all Odette had to hear in order for her to start seeing red.

Odette's fists clenched, her eyes still not leaving Jamie only because she found she couldn't move - she was so angry. Fenrir bit her. Her own mother let him. Odette was furious beyond belief. She had half a mind to walk out that door right then and there and find Jamie's mother and put the fear of a Greyback in her eyes again. But Odette knew she couldn't do that. She was silent for another five minutes, though it felt like an eternity. Her fists finally relaxed and her face did as well, as she looked down at the floor between the two of them. "No," she shook her head when Jamie apologized.

"I'm sorry."

@jamie

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For a moment, Jamie didn’t believe that Odette had actually said those words. She couldn’t believe that Odette could apologize for anything, that Odette would apologize for something that wasn’t even her fault. If Jamie had been feeling particularly bold, she might have walked over to hug her sister, but she was still to wary and somewhat afraid that she had imagined those words. “It’s not your fault.” Jamie responded, almost reflexively. “I had to learn sometime, right? Maybe all of this happened for a reason. I mean, I…I need to believe it happened for a reason. Bad things happen to people all the time, right? And not all of those people can be bad people, right?” She was rambling again, and probably pushing Odette way too far, but Jamie couldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop. She had tried to explain the feeling to Aaron before, but it was one of those things where he loved her a bit too much, and Jamie knew that he wouldn’t tell her the truth. Maybe she was asking her question in a roundabout way, but all Jamie really wanted to know was if Odette thought she was a bad person. Did Odette even know that she had bitten Matt? Probably not, unless Aaron had told her.

In the end, maybe Odette wasn’t the perfect sister, but Jamie wasn’t, either. And maybe, they could be imperfect together. Jamie had been content with having relationships with three of her siblings, but all four would be even better. She wasn’t sure whether she and Odette would be able to get past all their problems immediately, but this was a step in the right direction.

@odette

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Odette wore a bit of an odd facial expression. It was guilt, sympathy, and... a mix of confusion all in one. Odette was confused. This girl was her sister. She had treated her so badly and for what? All because she wanted her to stay away from her in case Fenrir came around. In a way, Odette believed she had been protecting her and her other siblings. She knew Aaron could handle himself; that's why she had been so open with him. But Adrian, Jamie, and Max were still in school, still young. If anything happened to them, well, Odette would have an even bigger reason to kill Fenrir. It wasn't until this moment that she realized she cared for Jamie a lot more than she wanted to admit, even more than she knew herself.

Odette looked down at the floor as she tried to find the right way to respond to Jamie. "I... do believe everything happens for reason," she said slowly. "Like... for a while now, I have believed that... maybe Fenrir killed my mother because... I was meant to hunt him down, to avenge her." Maybe it sounded silly, and way more fairytale like than it did to Odette but, that was what she believed. She believed all things happened for a reason, that everyone had a greater purpose. So many things in her life had pointed to that being a reasonable explanation.

The brunnette looked up at the blonde. "And... not all werewolves are bad," she shook her head, having a feeling that Jamie needed to hear these words specifically. "My best friend, his father was a werewolf. And I've heard stories of how brave and kind he was." She shrugged, looking down again. "Like you said, maybe all of this happened for a reason." She glanced back up at her sister. Odette was positive she had never spoken to Jamie as much as she just did in those few sentences.

@jamie

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Jamie was relieved to hear that Odette believed that things happened for a reason; she didn’t want to imagine the way that their conversation would have gone otherwise. Maybe she didn’t agree with vengeance, but the Hufflepuff girl could understand where Odette was coming from better now than she had when she had first met her older sister. The more that Jamie loved Max, the harder it became to know that her little sister was sharing a world with a monster like their father. Odette had the same sort of feeling, Jamie guessed, but intensified by her mother’s murder and the fact that she had more younger siblings to look after.

She didn’t want to admit it, but when Odette said that not all werewolves were bad, Jamie felt someone had taken the sun and put it where her heart had been before. She had never heard her older sister say something so nice, and directed towards her, too! Especially given the harsh words she had said when the two had met in Hogsmeade, the affirmation that she still had hope of being a good person meant the world to Jamie. She took a halting step forward, meaning to hug her sister but unsure whether or not Odette was comfortable with going that fast. “Thank you.” Jamie whispered. “All I wanted was for you to be proud of me, Odette.” All she had wanted was to be seen, and now that was happening, and the star inside of her was in danger of becoming a supernova.

“I think I’ve found the reason for this.” Jamie declared, voice still softer than usual. “I needed this to happen so that I knew how to love you better.” It was simple and more than a little sentimental, but the idea felt right. Odette was the only thing that had come out of this whole situation. Jamie needed her siblings so much more now than she had when her mother was still in the picture, and maybe needing Odette wasn’t so bad.

@odette

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Odette had spent so much of her life alone, aside from her closest group of friends. She had never really relied on anyone but herself and her grandparents. No one had ever broken through her tough exterior save those select few and here this girl was... causing Odette to just open up to her. It was like Odette had finally had enough of making Jamie sad that she had to finally cut that nasty tie and wave the white flag. She couldn't go on like that anymore. And to be honest, now that she was actually speaking to her amicably... it felt good.

Odette saw Jamie take one step forward and her breath hitched, thinking the girl was coming for a hug. But she seemed to stop where she was just as soon as she had taken the step and Odette released that breath just as quickly. She wanted to be able to move on with Jamie but she wasn't sure she was that ready yet. Odette's eyebrows rose slightly at Jamie's words and then Odette found her voice quieter than she thought it would be. "I... I'm gonna need some time," she said, nodding at Jamie, thinking that the blonde would know exactly what she meant. "To... process all of this and... become comfortable..." She gestured with her hands around the room. "But... I'd like us to forget about the past. I mean that."

@jamie

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If there was one thing that Jamie thought she had enough of in the world, it was time, and she would gladly give as much of it to Odette as she needed. Her sister was a little late to the whole family scene, and Jamie could see how it would be uncomfortable and overwhelming, especially since Odette had never been looking for a family in the first place. Jamie had never really been overwhelmed by anything when it came to her siblings except for how much she loved them. She hadn’t expected that when they first walked into her life, but everything that she had gained more than made up for how blindsided she felt the first time she bumped into Adrian in the halls. Jamie wished that she could tell Odette that the highs would be worth all the lows, but it didn’t seem like a sentiment her sister would be particularly receptive to at the moment.

“I can do that.” Jamie nodded after Odette had finished saying that she needed more time. “Whenever you want to talk, I’ll be here.” An open invitation was for the better, since it eliminated the need for any awkward meeting plannings and such. After a pause, the Hufflepuff blinked up at her sister, pondering how best to respond. “I’m not sure that forgetting the past would benefit either of us, since we both agreed that everything happens for a reason.” She said. “But I’m certainly willing to forgive it, if you’re willing to do the same.”

@odette

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Odette was ready. At least to move on from how she had treated Jamie. Out of all of her siblings, she had treated Jamie the worst. And perhaps it was because Jamie just loved so hard, but Odette knew that wasn't a bad thing. If anything, that was a good thing. Jamie seemed like a trustworthy, kind person that, with time, perhaps Odette could learn to love just as much. It was easier said than done for Odette. She let out a small sigh of relief. Two siblings down, two to go.

Jamie pointed out she wasn't willing to forget, but rather forgive. And Odette had to admit, Jamie was smart, too. Much smarter than she had originally given her credit for. Odette raised an eyebrow, crossed her arms in front of her, and oddly enough, a small smirk appeared. "How'd you get so smart?" She asked, not really expecting an answer to her rhetorical question. "Yes. Forgive. But don't go blaming me if I happen to forget, too," she added, jokingly and lightheartedly.

@jamie

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Jamie smiled a bit when Odette asked her how she had gotten so smart. She wasn’t naturally that intelligent, but Jamie was a hard worker. She knew that being a werewolf put her at a disadvantage for getting a lot of jobs, so she had chosen to make herself the most competitive employee as possible. Of course, she wasn’t going to bum Odette out with all of that backstory, so instead the Hufflepuff just replied, “Must run in the family.” Not that their dad was smart, of course, but Odette most certainly was – she had been a Ravenclaw, if Jamie wasn’t mistaken.

“You’ll find that the only person I’m good at blaming is myself.” Jamie replied drily. She made excuses for people who didn’t deserve them – Odette had certainly been the exception to that rule. The only person that Jamie was really good at seeing the bad in was herself. Hopefully that hadn’t been too heavy for Odette; Jamie was still trying to walk on egg shells to avoid accidentally scaring her sister away.

@odette

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Odette's mouth curved into a half smile when Jamie said that smarts 'must run in the family.' While they all had the misfortune of being connected through one of the most wanted beings in the wizarding world, as far as Odette could tell, the Greyback kids had all been pretty blessed thanks to their mothers. Odette wondered, for a moment, what all the other mothers were like. If her own mother would have liked any of them. Already Odette knew she didn't like Jamie's mother but she figured she couldn't be terrible. Just a big coward. "You got that right."

Jamie's next few words didn't sit well with Odette. Now she could see why she had always so easily upset Jamie. It wasn't just because Odette had been cruel to her... Jamie must have seen herself as a person to blame for Odette's disliking her when they first met. And that upset Odette. "Why do you say that?" She asked quietly after a silent moment of looking at her younger half sister with a worried brow.

@jamie

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Jamie paused a moment when Odette asked her why she was always blaming herself. She chewed her lip, and found herself looking down not for the first time that day. The answer to the question Odette was asking definitely crossed the emotional boundary that they had established, but there was no way to lie convincingly. Besides, the Hufflepuff didn’t want to start this new relationship with her sister with a lie. “It’s easier if things are my fault.” Jamie said with a shrug. “Because then at least I can fix it.” And problems were always so much easier when they were easily fixable. “Giving other people that kind of power, the power to control my happiness…Well, you know the feeling.” She shrugged again, as if somehow making the answer noncommittal would also make it easier to swallow. “It’s scary to let other people control you like that, and when things are my fault, it’s me controlling me.” Of course someone like Jamie – that was, a werewolf – would have problems with control. Odette would just have to get used to it.

@odette