and i would tell the truth (royal)

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Naturally, Abby was beating down a punching bag in the training room.

She actually wasn't sure what time she had started, she just started punching and lost all sense of time. All sense, really. She wasn't thinking as she punch and punched, not aware of the pain her muscles started to accumulate or the blood coming from her knuckles. She was immune to the sounds of things happening around her. She barely even noticed when some other trainees came in to work as well. She didn't know how many there were, how long they stayed, or if they were still there. She vaguely heard someone ask her how long she'd been there and quickly replied with, "I'm fine," which didn't make much sense.

It was September 1st, Abby's birthday. She didn't bother going home, not really recalling what that was at the moment. She had spent the night in the city, though she couldn't remember where. She didn't know what time it was now, even. She did know that they didn't have structered training today, but were just encouraged to come in and work on things they had been discussing and whatnot. When she arrived this morning, she walked straight to the punching bag, as if it was an old friend calling out to her. She hadn't even took her stance before she started punching it, moving into position several hits in.

How long ago had that been?


@royal

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Normally, Royal didn't care much about birthdays. He would still purchase a gift and all, but he didn't think it was all that important to celebrate birthdays unless there was a chance that you might not get a next one. People who were sick or old or in danger of dying all warranted extravagant birthday gifts and genuine celebration of their ability to make it through another year. Royal had never expected that to be his family, though - he had thought they were safe for the longest time. But they hadn't been, and now birthdays seemed so important, because Adelaide had almost died and he had almost failed to save her. Abigail was putting herself in a line of work where death was more and more prevalent, and even Royal himself was in danger of assassination. They were children making play at adulthood, and they were all in danger, and all he wanted was for them to go back to the cocoon of safety that had been their old lives.

But he couldn't celebrate this birthday, because Abigail wasn't home. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her. Between his stay in St. Mungo's, subsequent bed rest, book release, and career choice, he was almost never home, and Abby's training was just as vigorous. They were two ships passing in a night that was increasingly dark and cold, and all he wanted was to turn on the lights and find her. It didn't take long, once he set his mind to it - the other trainees were quick to point him to the training room, though no one could say how long she'd been there for. When Royal walked in, his sister was destroying a punching bag, knuckles bleeding and bruised. Everything he had thought to say - happy birthday not the least of the phrases - evaporated at that image. Abigail was...different. "Abby?" Royal asked, barely louder than a whisper, unsure if he would get a response.

@abigail

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There was a voice, a familiar one from another time, that seemed to slip between the walls and flawlessly work it's way into her ears. She stopped mid-punch, one fist back by her face and the other still in contact with the bag. Her haze slowly started to break and the smell of iron wafted into her nostrils. Someone was bleeding. Her eyes shifted, catching sight of the hand next to her face and she caught her breath, "oh," she said, realizing that the smell of blood was coming from her. She wondered briefly what had woken her up and then she remembered, that voice. She turned her head toward it.

Oh, there he was. Someone that she knew... sometime. She lived in the same house as this person, she was sure. As her eyes started to clear so did her mind. What was she doing? How long had she been there? "Royal," she said softly, blinking rapidly as if that could stop the strange wetness from coming into her eyes.

She brought both of her fists in front of her face and looked down at them. "Oh no, not again," she muttered.

@royal

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Royal was glad that his voice seemed to have woken Abby up from whatever stupor had been causing her to attack the punching back so relentlessly, but he was worried, too – her knuckles were bleeding badly, and she didn’t even seem to realize that they were until she physically saw her own hands. That kind of disconnect with the world couldn’t be healthy. It took her a solid thirty seconds to finally identify him, and that was worrisome, too. Still, Royal had promised himself that he wasn’t going to lecture until after Abigail’s birthday, because he was a nice big brother and he didn’t want to ruin a celebration that might have never come.

“That’s my name.” He answered when she said it. “Try not to wear it out.” Royal took a few casual steps forward, intending to embrace his sister, but stopped when she began to speak again. The words were low, but he heard them clear as day. Again. “Has this happened before?” He asked casually, trying hard not to sound accusatory. Had this been what his sister had been up to since they had parted ways? Was she just beating herself senseless every chance that she got? Something must have happened, because normal people didn’t destroy themselves like that.

@abigail

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He was joking. This caused a strange half smile to make it's way onto her lips. He stepped toward her, and she didn't budge. Then he asked if this had happened before. She tried to wrack her memory for something familiar to what was happening right now. As one or two or ten instances came, she nodded, slowly lowering her hands and looking back up at his face. "It's nothing," she said, rolling her shoulders back. The movement reminded her of how tense the rest of her body was too, and she suddenly felt incredibly achy. It was as if all the physical pain from the last few weeks was finally sending signals to her brain. She faltered a little, but quickly steadied herself without grabbing onto anything, or anyone, for stability.

"What brings you here, Royal?" there it was again, his name. For some reason the sound felt sweet in her mouth, not bitter like everything else that she'd said lately. She wanted to say it again, but she waited. She also wanted to take a nap, desperately, but she doubted that would happen. Every time she closed her eyes it was like seeing Ethan hanging over the stairs all over again, watching Theo and Addie get taken from her, watching Addie come back alone...

@royal

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A horrible feeling ripped its way through Royal’s gut when Abigail nodded. His little sister had been hurting herself, beating herself up until her knuckles bled, and he hadn’t been there. Royal managed to shove away some of that guilt with the reminder that he had been recovering from an injury himself, and she hadn’t managed to show up at the hospital. They were even now. Sort of. “It doesn’t look like nothing.” He said, trying to sound nonchalant and failing miserably. He was concerned, and it was obvious to anyone with eyes. He stepped forward again, but stopped himself before he could touch her. She didn’t look like she was in the best state to be touched, and Royal didn’t want to exacerbate any problems she was having.

“I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, Abby.” He replied, regaining control of his tone of voice so that he once again sounded factual instead of like an overbearing big brother. “Though if you’d like a lecture about self-care, I’m sure I can whip one up pretty quickly.” Royal added, nodding to Abigail’s bloody knuckles. “Do you want some help cleaning those up?” She probably wouldn’t let him help her, but it was still his obligation to ask her.

@abigail

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“It doesn’t look like nothing.” There was that familiar voice again, that tone. He was worried about her. That was enough to cause her balance to waiver slightly and she took in a deep breath before giving another careless shrug. He stepped forward again and she felt herself slightly leaning toward him by less than an inch. He wished her a happy birthday, and she nodded at that, then he offered the lecture on self-care and asked if she wanted help and she nodded, "please," she said, holding her hands out to him and waiting for him to take them and lead her somewhere else. Somewhere safe, would be nice. But Abby knew. Abby knew that no where was safe, especially not that places where she was vulnerable, and being with Royal was vulnerable.

Maybe that was why she had avoided him at home all this time or just not come home at all? She felt slightly sick about the fact that she had gone to someone other than Royal after what happened, that Royal didn't even know what had happened to her... and at the same time she felt like she could never tell him the whole truth.

Even now, she was still protecting Theo.

@royal

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Royal didn’t know what to do in this situation. Maybe something similar had happened before, but his dad had been there. He had always known what to do, and Royal was just drowning. He hadn’t seen Abigail look so lost since the day their father had died. When Abby was lost, she was a different person – she wasn’t his sister. She was a stranger with Abigial’s skin, a stranger that Royal didn’t know what to do with. When she offered her hands to him, though, at least he had something he could do. He wasn’t the best at healing magic, but he could clean up scrapes like these. Royal took out his wand and cast a simple spell that closed up the wounds, but didn’t clean the blood. That didn’t seem important, though, because there was more to helping someone than just healing their physical maladies. He hadn’t seen Abigail this lost since the day their father had died, which meant that something had happened of a similar emotional magnitude. He couldn’t imagine what that would be, but he could try. “Do you want to go home, Abigail?” He asked her quietly. It was the only other thing he could offer. Maybe at home she would be safe, and he could start to find what she had lost.

@abigail

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Abby breathed a sigh of relief as he did that simple magic on her hands. Her head started to hurt, though, but it was a good hurt. It meant she was actually feeling something. She realized that she was incredibly dehydrated. In fact, she wasn't even sure if she drank water before coming in this morning...

At Royals question, Abby nodded without a second of hesitation. Then she leaned forward, slightly due to exhaustion, until she was wrapping her arms around his neck. She nodded again, "yeah, take me home," she said.

Wrapping her arms around him caused a strange warmth to go through her, something she almost didn't recognize anymore. It was almost a sharp feeling considering it was so foreign for her right now, but she didn't let go. She welcome the feeling, even the pain from her throbbing head. She even smiled before pulling back, "thanks for coming," she muttered softly.

@royal

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Royal was actually getting to an area where he knew what to do in. This was good – he could ask questions, and she could answer, and together they could start to be normal again. When Abby wrapped her arms around his neck, Royal returned the embrace with his arms around her waist so that he could Apparate them both away. The trouble with the protective spells was that he could only Apparate to the edge of their property, and he wasn’t sure he trusted Abigail to be able to walk to the front door from there. “I will always come.” He told her quietly. That was what big brothers were for, after all. He whisked them away to the edge of their property, just outside of the protective spells, and then walked them both the few paces it took to be inside the protective bubble. It wasn’t that he felt they were in danger – it was just easier that way. “Inside?” He asked gently. Questions and answers. He could do this.

@abigail

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'I will always come,' he said. Abby smiled slightly at that. Soon they had apparated to the propoerty line and then walked together toward the house. She looked up at it, realizing she hadn't actually seen it in the daylight in weeks. He asked about going inside and she took in a deep breath through her nose and then nodded, "then we can talk," she said flatly. She knew she needed to talk, she was starting to think a little more clearly now... Abby hated talking. Well, she preferred other things over talking rather. But, if talking was the only way to do this...

This being overcoming what was eating at her and being herself again.

@royal

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Royal nodded in agreement when Abby said they could talk when they got into the house. Of course, his plans involved a few more steps – including making sure she drank and ate something, since he couldn’t be sure when the last time she had done that had been – but the end goal was, as it always was, to figure out how to make all of Abigail’s problems go away. Maybe he couldn’t do that, but it was nice to hope. When they were inside, Royal led the pair of them to the kitchen, and quickly made a sandwich for Abby, laying it on a table along with a large glass of water. “How much of the past month do you remember?” He asked her matter-of-factly. It was a good place to start in figuring out when everything went wrong.

@abigail

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Abby sat at the table as led, glancing at the food and water set in front of her. Royals question stunned her for a moment. What did she remember from the last month? She blinked, shaking her head a little. She kept her eyes on Royals, knowing that if she looked away she wouldn't be able to speak. "I trained." And that was her whole answer. She really didn't remember specifics and she certainly didn't remember eating anything or speaking to anyone unless necessary. A vague memory of Jonah slipped in and she widened her eyes briefly before announcing it, "I saw another trainee at the pub. He was nice," she added. That was about it of the story she could muster, though.

@royal

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Royal was terrified by how little his sister remembered. Thirty days, over seven hundred hours, and all she could remember was training? That was more than worrying – it was scary. He brightened a little when she said that she had met another trainee at a pub. That was a start. “Do you remember the other trainee’s name?” He prompted, hoping that it could lead to other memories spiraling out. “Eat.” He added, gesturing to the sandwich he had made. Royal was considering going to get a glass of water for himself, but considering how intensely Abby was focusing on him, that didn’t seem like a great idea. He was her tether to reality, and it would be a dangerous thing for both of them if that connection snapped.

@abigail

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Abby nodded, "Jonah," she said, almost smiling, but her lip just twitched. Then he said that word eat and she looked down at the plate in front of her. That breaking of eye contact made her breathless for a moment and she clenched her fists under the table. She nodded, "k," she brought her hands up and took the sandwich in them, lifting it toward her lips before looking back up at Royal and finding those eyes again. She let out a breath of relief and then took a bite of out the sandwich, but she felt weird staring at him while doing so but... her eyes were not happy about the idea of her looking away again.

@royal