Is This Love? ** (EDMUND)

[Deleted]

@edmund
167
<3

The last few days have been rough for Addilyn, and school had only just started. Their first day here was great, of course, and she had a wonderful time with Edmund at the opening feast. They got along great...even held hands. But after a very long argument about Kyle, her crush, they hadn't spoken. Everyone knew something was wrong. It wasn't like this to not see Addi and Ed around 24/7 unless they're sleeping. They're always together; classes, eating, walking, and now, they're separate. And it was all so horrible.

It was after dinner, and Addi had sat by herself. She left dinner early, and walked all the way up to The Astronomy Tower by herself. As she walked up the last few stairs, tears started to fall. The stars were out, it was still slightly warm out, and Addi smelled the air after taking a deep breath. She sat down, laid on her back, and looked up at the stars. Why was this happening to them?

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He hated this. Hated being so far away from Addi. They still had many of the same classes, the same meal times, same study times but now she felt so far away. And she was sad. Everyone could see it and the guilt was eating at him. A part of him was surprised that she hadn't found another friend to at least spend some of her time with, she had so many friends. Still, she hadn't. He, on the other hand, was harder to get close to. It would be no surprise to anyone that he was alone. Yet it ate at him to see her like this. It was his fault and he knew it.

He watched her, he couldn't help it. He still felt so drawn to her, wanted to be with her constantly but at the same time it hurt that she didn't consider him anything more than a friend. Huh, friend. Some friend he turned out to be. He watched her leave the Great Hall and sighed. He couldn't stand this anymore. He was trying to be discreet, so no one would realize what he was doing, as he followed her. She went to the astronomy tower and he shouldn't have been surprised. He silently followed her up the stairs at a distance, his heart aching when he heard her cry. My fault, he thought to himself.

When he reached the top she was on her back, looking at the stars. She looked peaceful and he felt bad interrupting her solitude but he couldn't leave things like this. He moved to kneel next to her, "Addi," he mumbled quietly as he reached forward and took her hand in both of his. "I'm sorry." The words were familiar, but Edmund rarely said them. Still, she was worth it. He had to make this right, somehow. "Please forgive me," his voice cracked, betraying his emotions as he pleaded. He couldn't stand this distance any longer.

@jill2

[Deleted]

@edmund
147
<3

As Addi laid down on her back, she had heard footsteps but ignored them. She figured if someone had really wanted to be up here they'd just ignore her, and if not they'd leave. But, to her shock, it was Edmund. He had followed her. And he kneeled down next to her and grabbed her hand. Addi didn't take her eyes off the stars as she felt the warmth of him around her hand.

But it was his voice cracking that got her attention. Addi shut her eyes, a silent tear falling. "Edmund...I'll always forgive you. I don't think there's anything you can do that will make me not forgive you...I just wish, I wish you weren't so mean..." She choked on a sob. "What did you mean by 'this was what you were avoiding?', what were you avoiding? Me? Do you not want to be friends with me anymore?"

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He tried to ignore it, but Ed's pulse started racing as he held her hand. At least she didn't pull away. Maybe she wasn't angry at him anymore, but he didn't want to get his hopes up. He waited for her to answer him anxiously, watching as she started crying again. His heart rose when she said she'd forgive him. He started to smile for the first time since their fight, but it didn't last long. She wished he wasn't mean and his face fell. He knew he wasn't particularly nice, especially to certain people. But Addi? Edmund always tried to be nice around her, for her. To try and make it so he could deserve her, though he didn't realize that until now. 

He squeezed her hand, which was still nestled between two of his. He looked away from her, to the ground. Her eyes were still closed, but if she opened them, he didn't want her to see the pain in his eyes. Then she asked questions, like usual. Only this time, he was actually surprised by her question. "No," he started, his voice still coming and going, to his great annoyance. He cleared his throat. "No, Addi, I was talking about the fighting. I was trying to avoid us yelling at one another. I would never..." he paused. Could he really finish that sentence, that he would never avoid her? He'd been avoiding her the past few days, unsuccessfully. Actually, it was more like stalking than avoiding. "You're my best friend and I- I miss you. I miss being with you all the time and talking with you. I can't avoid you. Hogwarts isn't home to me without you," his voice got quieter and quieter as he spoke and his eyes uncharacteristically brimmed with tears. Hopefully she wouldn't open her eyes. That way she wouldn't see how emotionally torn up he was.

@jill2

[Deleted]

@edmund
201
<3

Addilyn felt Edmund squeeze her hand. As he started to talk, with his voice slightly cracking again, Addi felt pain in her heart. She didn't want it to be difficult for him to speak, or to be upset with her, or anything. She loved Edmund, she always had and she always will. And all of this was breaking her apart. And she knew it was breaking him apart too.

The next few things he said broke her heart, but also made her happy at the same time. Addi immediately opened her eyes; they were filled with tears. She sat up straight, and looked into Edmund's eyes. They had tears in them as well. Addi doesn't think she had ever seen him cry before. She shook her head, tears falling. "Oh, E, don't cry! Please..." Addi scooted her body towards him, pulled her hand out from his, and wrapped her arms around his neck. As they were both sitting, it was slightly uncomfortable, but she didn't care. Her hands reached up slightly and she let one grab his black hair, and she gave him a tight hug. Her head was resting in between his shoulder and his neck, her tears wetting his shirt.

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Of course, she opened her eyes. She sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging as she asked him not to cry. Annoyed at his emotions, he blinked is eyes to make the tears go away, simultaneously wrapping his arms around her waist tightly. "I won't cry if you don't," he teased, even though there was no way he'd actually start crying, was there? He was just trying to lighten the mood. Maybe he could get her to smile again. Even if he couldn't see it, that would be worth it.

He didn't care that she was crying on his shirt, that he was clinging onto her seemingly for dear life. For a moment, everything felt right again. Still, he had to make sure that everything was right. "Adds, can we be good now? I can't do this anymore, staying away from you. Please?" he asked as he pulled away. He had to look in her eyes, and try to see what she was thinking.

@jill2 

[Deleted]

@edmund
126
<3

When Edmund wrapped his own arms around Addi, her body pretty much turned to mush in his arms. She felt at home in his arms. "Edmund...Hogwarts isn't home without you either...you're my everything." And then Edmund made a joke about crying and Addi chuckled slightly, a few tears still falling. She wiped her face. "Sorry about your wet shirt, E..."

When Edmund pulled Addi away from him for a moment to look at her, Addi nodded frantically, not wanting to be away from him. "Yes, yes we can be okay now, Ed. I don't want to be anything but okay." She shook his hands off and went back into a tight hug. Her head now just rested on his shoulder, and she slowly breathed in his cologne. "You smell good..."

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Edmund's arms tightened around her at her words. He couldn't believe that this was all it was taking. Apparently she'd missed him as much as he missed her and he was glad. He was a little curious about what being her everything meant, but he decided to let it be. He didn't want to try and go into anything that could mess stuff up again. He laughed softly, "I don't care about the shirt, Adds," he told her honestly.

He watched carefully when she answered his question and was relieved by the sincerity. She wasn't just saying this to make him feel better, she really felt it. He smiled again when she came back for another hug. "I missed you," he repeated, nuzzling her hair gently. This time as he held her, he noticed other things, like how natural it felt to be holding her so close, how silky her hair was, and how nice she smelled ... He chuckled when she said just what he was thinking. "And when did you first notice that Adds. I've always been pretty clean, you know." He muttered, deliriously happy that things were better between the two of them. Sure, some of the things she said before still hurt, but he didn't care. Being apart from her hurt far worse. 

@jill

[Deleted]

@edmund
126
<3

After feeling his arms tighten Addi grinned brightly. She snuggled her head into him and gave him a squeeze with her arms as well. "I'm glad you don't mind about the shirt. But I promise I'll try not to cry again." She didn't think she would cry, they weren't fighting anymore.

"Oh, I missed you too, Edmund...so much." When he nuzzled her hair, Addilyn made a slight noise, "Mmmm...oh!" Her eyes widened, and she lifted her head to look at Edmund, her face bright red. Being embarrassed, she put her head back on his shoulder, knowing he noticed. When he chuckled Addi chuckled as well. "I know you're always clean, I just...I noticed the other night at the feast. When I had my head on you...just like now...it's nice, E."

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There it was again. The feeling that something was changing, the feeling that he'd missed over the last few days. His heart was racing, his stomach seemingly doing backflips and all they were doing was hugging! If he hadn't already put a label on his feelings for her, he would have wondered what was going on. As it was, he knew that his feelings were growing stronger every second he was with her. Would he be able to respect her decision to like Kyle and not push her to start liking himself? Edmund wasn't sure.

When she pulled back to look at him after he'd nuzzled her hair, Ed's right eyebrow raised and he cocked his head to the side, "Oh?" he asked curiously, referring to her exclamation and the fact that her face was bright red again. Somehow, he took courage from this, as well as the fact that she said he smelled "nice." Could she feel something for him? "Did you mean what you said the other day, Adds?" he asked, referring to the day when they had their big fight.. "When you said you liked holding my hand?" He prompted, just to make sure she didn't think he was trying to remind her of any of the terrible things they'd both said.

@jill2

[Deleted]

@edmund
100
<3

He raised his eyebrow and cocked his head and Addi gasped. Gosh, he looked so cute, so, ugh, handsome! Addi bit her lip and smiled slightly. "Yes, oh? It ah...it...felt...good?" Her face turned even more red.

When he asked about their hand holding Addi nodded her head. "Yes, Edmund, I did like it. I ah, I loved it actually." She smirked slightly to herself. Her arms were no longer wrapped around him, but she did keep her hand resting on his shoulder. She decided to take a chance, and she took her hand and grabbed his, interlocking their fingers once more.

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Ed grinned when Addi got even more embarrassed. She was so adorable. She answered his question and he stared for a minute, surprised. He didn't think she was going to. "Why is that a question?" he teased. He was having way too much fun with this. He leaned back down, nuzzling her hair again and inhaling deeply. She smelled so good.

He felt as good as he did when he was flying. He'd never thought there was something better than that until now, but there was. Addi. She confessed that she loved holding his hand before snatching his hand and interlocking their fingers. "Me too," he said as he rubbed his thumb on the back of her hand. He grinned at her and then sighed, looking up to the stars. "I can't imagine a better night," he muttered, squeezing her hand again. What could be better than this?

@jill2

[Deleted]

@edmund
103
<3

Addi's eyes widened when Edmund nuzzled her hair again and breathed deeply. "Mmmmm, gosh, Ed..." Addilyn was shocked. Her pale skin was now a tomato and she couldn't believe Edmund. "Ed!" She giggled.

She felt Edmund's thumb rub the back of her hand and she smiled slyly to herself. He then squeezed it and spoke. Addilyn smiled up at his eyes. "It is a pretty perfect night, E...I love spending nights like this with you." Her head rested on his shoulder still and she nuzzled her head into his neck. She breathed in deeply like he did, and she left a small kiss on his neck.

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Edmund chuckled at her reaction. She wasn't pushing him away, which was a good thing. "Stop pretending like you're surprised, Adds," he teased lightly. 

"I know. It's been a while," he commented. They hadn't been able to get away like this since last year, though there was a distinct difference. Last year they were only best friends and now he wanted to be more, even though he wasn't sure what she wanted still. She cuddled closer, kissing his neck and Ed decided that was answer enough. He turned to face her, looking in her eyes. He liked what he saw and made a split second decision, leaning forward and cupping her chin in his hand before kissing her gently. It was perfect.

"Adds," he started after he pulled away. His face was red and embarrassed and he didn't know what to say, but he had to say something. Should he ask her to be his girlfriend, or was that too quick? He jumped when he heard voices coming from the stairwell. He growled, annoyed that they were being interrupted right now, right when things needed to be said. "Come on Adds," he said, rising to his feel and pulling her up with him. He glanced over at the stairs. The voices were getting louder, but no one was there yet. He looked back to her and shrugged, "I guess we have bad luck," he said, trying to make light of the situation.

@jill2

[Deleted]

@edmund
171
<3

Addi shrugged. "Not surprised, mostly...shocked! You're so...forward." She giggled at Edmund.

Her heart was beating super fast. It was only within a minute that Edmund turned to look her in the eyes, and kissed her. Wow. Their first kiss. Addi couldn't believe what was happening. The butterflies in her stomach were going crazy, and she felt like her heart was in her throat. Addi kissed him back, gently, but with love, and it was so wonderful. She wanted to do it again. When he said her name, then jumped, then growled, and got all worried, Addilyn giggled quite a bit. She was giddy and happy from the kiss, and had the nervousness from the sound of people. And when they stood up, she could see how red his face was. No one had come up the top of the tower yet, but Addi grinned at Edmund. "E...you're so cute when you're nervous." She licked her lips and took a deep breath, calming herself down from all of the emotions bubbling out of her.