inside is not a heart, but a kaleidoscope [edmund]

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Meeting Susan's older brother had been strange, but enlightening. Lysander didn't know if people understood him better after having met Lorcan, but he certainly understood his best friend better after meeting her brother. Now Sander was on a mission to find the rest of the Windsor children. He knew that Susan's younger brother was in Slytherin, and her younger sister in Hufflepuff, but didn't know how to hang around the basement without seeming weird (or accidentally running into RJ and seeming like a stalker). Instead, Lysander decided to assume that occasionally, Susan's younger siblings wanted to visit her. He was pacing around outside the Ravenclaw common room, no doubt drawing stares from some of the students who were there on legitimate business. He was listening for a color he hadn't heard before, something unfamiliar. Susan was cotton and William was the color of ocean's depths, so Lysander had no idea what color their younger siblings' voices would be. All he could do was wait and listen.

@edmund

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Edmund wanted to see Susan. The last time he'd seen her was when he was upset about his fight with Addi and he knew she was probably still worried about him. He'd been in a bad place, after all. Really, he was trying to make an effort. He wanted to thank her for her help and tell her that things were better. Not that he was going to tell her that he and Addi were unofficially dating. No, that was something best shared for later. He wasn't sure exactly how to do it, but he felt like Susan needed to be eased into the fact that he was, in fact, dating someone. He didn't want to deal with an overreaction.

The problem was, Edmund wasn't sure exactly where the Ravenclaw Common Room was. Not that he expected to get in, by any means, but he hoped maybe he could convince a Ravenclaw to get Susan to come out. He was sure that she'd come, once she discovered he was waiting outside. She'd told him once that her common room was on the fifth floor, so Edmund went there, hoping to see her. Unfortunately, he didn't. He did, however, see someone in the hallway. Well, he might as well see if this person could help him out.

He approached the other boy, feeling uncomfortable. Edmund wasn't really one for starting conversations with stranger. "Hey, uh, I'm looking for my sister, Susan Windsor. D'you know where she might be?" he asked, not sure if he should know that her common room should be somewhere around here. Better play innocent.

@lysander

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Lysander couldn’t believe his luck. He had only been walking around for an hour – only an hour! – when a boy approached asking for Susan Windsor, claiming she was his sister. Lysander had no reason not to believe the boy, especially given his voice. It wasn’t like Susan’s at all, nor was it like Will’s. It could only be described as off-red – not quite the purest form of the color, but neither orange or purple either. Sander was glad of that; it would be awkward to tell Susan that he didn’t like her brother because his voice was too red for his tastes. Granted, it still wasn’t his favorite, but he could deal with a conversation, which was what he was about to do. “Susan left the common room a while ago.” Sander said, not knowing whether or not it was the truth. Oh well – little white lies could be easily repaired, if he ever needed them to be. “You’re Edmund, right? Her little brother?” Lysander assumed this wasn’t Lucy, and he had met Will, so he didn’t know why he was asking the question. Confirmation was best, he supposed. “I’m Lysander, one of Susan’s friends.” He introduced himself quickly.

@edmund

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Edmund was disappointed when the boy in front of him told him that Susan wasn't there. He kept his face normal and nodded a little. What was he supposed to do now? His whole plan was dependent on finding Susan and she was gone. His attention focused back on the person in front of him when he heard a few questions. "Yeah, I'm Edmund," he answered. He wasn't particularly fond of being known as anyone's "younger brother" but it was the truth, so he couldn't hold it against the boy. Then he introduced himself as Lysander. It took a second for Ed to remember the name, but he did. Susan had mentioned him in Diagon Alley, said that if there was a ball she could probably get Lysander to take her. And now Ed was meeting him. "Nice to meet you," he said politely. Edmund wasn't really particularly good at starting conversations, especially with strangers, but he could be polite. "Uh, how is Susan doing?" Edmund asked. He really didn't know what else to say and they did have Susan in common so ... best to start there. Probably.

@lysander

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Lysander had been right about the boy’s identity, which probably shouldn’t have made him as happy as it did. This was now the third Windsor sibling he was meeting, and he had a pretty good track record with the other two thus far, if he did say so himself. He could win over Edmund with his…well, Lysander wasn’t sure what had made the other two Windsor siblings not dislike him, so he couldn’t figure out which parts of his personality he ought to turn up to make Edmund feel the same way. “It’s nice to meet you, too. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Well, not a lot, but Susan had definitely mentioned Edmund once or twice. They weren’t necessarily good things, but it was still something you were supposed to say when meeting your best friend’s siblings, right? Lysander thought so.

“Susan’s doing well!” He answered enthusiastically. “We’re prefects together, and we’ve both enjoyed getting to meet and help the younger students and spend more time with each other in the process.” Being a prefect wasn’t actually as hard as Sander had thought – his synesthesia gave him a unique edge when it came to remembering people, since he could just pinpoint the color of their voice. “Have you been enjoying the start of term?” The Ravenclaw asked politely.

@edmund

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Edmund's eyebrow rose when Lysander said it was nice to meet him and mentioned that he'd heard a lot about Edmund from Susan. Yeah, he probably heard a lot about Edmund, but there was hardly any chance that he heard good things about Ed. Unless Susan told him how things started to change between the two of them over summer. Still, Edmund wasn't going call him out on it. He nodded, "I've heard a little about you too." A very little, but he didn't need be specific.

Without realizing it, Edmund started smiling when heard what Susan was up to lately. "I bet she's enjoying that," he said without thinking. Susan liked sharing her knowledge with others. He could just imagine it. Then Lysander asked him how term was so far and Ed thought about it for a moment. "It's been a roller coaster so far," he admitted. Truly, with all the stuff about  tournament and all visiting students and his relationship Addi. Ed was surprised he still in one piece after all that. "What about you? How  you feel  the tournament?"

@lysander

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Lysander offered Edmund a tentative smile when the younger boy said that he had heard a little about the Ravenclaw, too. He noticed the choice of words – a little – and decided that Edmund probably wasn’t as taciturn as Susan was, if that choice was deliberate. Still, the other boy was in Slytherin, and while Sander had met his fair share of decent Slytherins, as a whole they weren’t known for being the most conscientious of others’ feelings. It was fine, though – Sander didn’t need Edmund to know about him to know that Susan cared for him, and he for her. That was just how things were.

“She is.” He answered when Edmund said that Susan was enjoying the time with the younger students. Despite the sometimes strenuous nature of the duties, Sander really did enjoy it, and so, as far as he could tell, did Susan. “I guess I’m excited for the tournament. I mean, I entered.” Lysander shrugged. Edmund probably didn’t want to hear all about the chip on his shoulder. “I’m excited for the Yule Ball, though.” Sander said with a smile. Maybe he and RJ…but then again, maybe not. “Anyone you’re taking?” He asked conversationally. “I might end up going with a friend. Maybe Susan, if she’ll have me.” Lysander got the impression that RJ wasn’t as open about things as Lysander himself was, and it seemed a shame to waste a perfectly good ball with not attending just because the one boy he’d want to go with romantically might not want to go with him.

@edmund

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Edmund gave a small smile, glad when Lysander confirmed that Susan was doing well and enjoying it. He would know better than Edmund did, at the moment. That's one of the reasons Edmund was looking for his sister in the first place, to tell her he was good and ask how her year had been so far. He nodded when Lysander said he'd entered the tournament. "Good for you," he congratulated the older boy enthusiastically. "It sounds really interesting. Wish I could try for it, but at least I'll get to watch." Then he mentioned the Yule Ball. That was something Edmund was definitely excited for. He shrugged, pretending like going with Addi wasn't a big deal, though in all reality it was the reason he was excited for the Yule Ball. "Yeah, I'm going with my best friend, Addi. It'll be fun," Edmund said casually. It wasn't like Lysander would know Addi ... or would he? Either way, he wouldn't know what was really going on between the two of them. He nodded again when Lysander said he might take Susan, unsure of what else he should do. He shouldn't tell this guy that Susan was already thinking of going with him, right? Or should he? He'd need to ask Susan what he should do in future situations. "Going with a friend is a way to make sure you enjoy yourself," was his eventual reply. It was encouraging enough, he hoped, but he really didn't want to get involved in Susan's life unless she asked him to.

@lysander

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Lysander was excited that someone, at least, was excited about his entry into the tournament. After what had happened between him and RJ, Sander hadn’t been sure if he had made the right choice in seeking glory, or whatever he had been doing when he put his name in the Goblet. “Thanks, Edmund.” Sander said with a smile. Susan’s brother was a good person. Good enough that Lysander felt kind of bad for internally referring to him as ‘Susan’s brother’ all the time. He was more than worthy of his own name, and the Ravenclaw vowed to use it as much as possible. No, not as much as possible – exclusively.

“Friend.” Lysander repeated dubiously. He had a hard time understanding heterosexuality, but from what he could tell of it, it was pretty difficult for a guy and a girl not to be romantically involved, unless one of them was gay, like him. Maybe that was a stereotype that Lysander needed to get out of his head. (Why didn’t he ask people more questions about heterosexuality? They asked him all sorts of questions about homosexuality, so turnabout was only fair play.) He didn’t recognize the name of the girl, but he figured that she must be nice enough if she was one of Edmund’s friends. “I suppose that’s right. I…made someone else important to me angry, so I might not have a choice not to go with a friend.” Sander said with a shrug. “But I don’t think you want to hear about my almost-romance woes.” The Ravenclaw cracked a smile. “I like the color of your voice.” If that didn’t start a new conversation, Sander didn’t know what would.

@edmund

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Edmund shrugged when Lysander thanked him. Why was he thanking him? He only congratulated him for entering the tournament, something that Edmund really wished he could do. He didn't care about the glory or anything, but he thought it would be a test of his real abilities, which was something he was interested in for sure. "Sure," he answered.

Then Lysander repeated the word friend. It was weird. Did he not believe that Addi and Edmund were only friends? Granted, they weren't, but it wasn't official and they had been friends for five years without anything else between them. He knew it was ridiculous, but Edmund felt a strange need to explain himself to this stranger. He just had to be careful of what he said. "Yeah," he started, telling himself to keep it casual and non-threatening. Lysander wasn't trying to pick a fight, he was sure. "We met on the train our first years and have been good friends ever since. I hate balls, so she said she'd go with me so it would be fun." That's more or less how it happened, right? Either way, that's all anyone else needed to know about it.

"Sorry about that," was all Edmund said. It was obvious Lysander didn't really want to talk about this with Edmund, so he wasn't going to push him to. He just showed that he listened. Then he said something about the color of Edmund's voice. Edmund's eyebrows furrowed a little to show his confusion. "The color of my voice?" He asked predictably. "What do you mean by that?"

@lysander

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Lysander listened patiently as Edmund explained that he had met his friend on the train before first year. He wished he had been so lucky, to meet friends before school even started. He had hoped that he would’ve kept his brother as a friend, but it seemed now that Lorcan was walking a different path than Lysander, and he just had to accept that fact. As it was, the Ravenclaw was envious of the fact that Edmund had found friends so soon – it had taken him six years to let anyone else in. Six years wasted by shyness and social awkwardness and his own unwillingness to look past someone’s intelligence and into their heart. His mother would have been ashamed, really. She had the biggest heart of anyone Lysander knew, and he wondered sometimes why she hadn’t been put in Hufflepuff. “She sounds like a good friend.” Sander said with a smile. Anyone who was willing to go to something as tedious as a ball just to help a friend was obviously a good person, and thereby a good friend.

“I have this thing called synesthesia.” Lysander explained. “Basically, there are some wires crossed in my brain, so my senses are a little confused. A lot of people can taste sounds or something like that, but I hear colors.” The Ravenclaw paused. He saw no reason to keep the whole truth from Edmund, so he continued to speak. “I judge people based on the color of their voices, sometimes. I know it’s not good, but it’s helpful, a lot of the time.” Sander could generally tell what a person was like by the color of their voice even if their words didn’t say anything, so it was good for Edmund – and for Lysander himself – that Edmund’s voice was of a pleasant hue.

@edmund

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Edmund nodded when Lysander said that Addi seemed like a good friend. She was. But he already said that, so he figured it was time to let the subject drop. Why keep it going when he didn't have anything worthwhile to add?

He listened closely as Lysander started to explain what synesthesia was, hearing colors was what he got out of it. To be honest, it sounded very interesting and he had a few questions about it. He hoped the Ravenclaw wouldn't mind him asking, but he was going to ask all the same. His curiosity had been piqued. "What color am I? And do specific colors mean specific things?" He let himself ask one more question, "Do people ever have the same color?" Edmund was holding back, but Lysander probably didn't know that. Hopefully he wasn't tired of answering these questions, since people probably asked him about it all the time.

@lysander

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Lysander was pleasantly surprised when Edmund started to ask questions about synesthesia. Most people didn't understand it, and therefore brushed it off because their own ignorance made them uncomfortable. It was refreshing to have someone who wasted to learn more about arguably the most important thing about him. Synesthesia was what changed the way he perceived the world, and thus changed everything. "You're reddish. Kind of purpley-red, but not really. If you showed me a painting I could point to the color, but it's hard to explain." Sander continued on to the next question, thinking. "Different colors can mean a lot of different things. Sometimes it's hard to tell, because there's always outliers. I think you're one of them - normally reddish voices are annoying, but I like yours." He shrugged. "I haven't met people with the exact same color, no, but there are people with similar colors. Yours is kind of like my friend RJ's." At the return to RJ, Lysander winced a little. "It can be kind of overwhelming to be in a crowded room because of the colors." Lysander explained. Sometimes it worked, if the voices balanced each other, but other times, Sander just needed to be alone in a quiet place, away from all the colors.

@edmund

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Edmund thought he understood what Lysander was saying, but he wasn't completely positive. And he still had questions. He couldn't help but wonder if his questions were irritating the Ravenclaw, but he was answering, so Edmund was going to assume he could keep on asking them. "Why do you like mine? I mean, what does it mean to you? Also, do general colors have normal meanings?" More than anything else, Edmund was curious about what his color meant to Lysander. Sure, he was curious about other colors too, but not as much. He noticed that Lysander grimaced slightly when he mentioned his friend, but Edmund decided that probably wasn't something he wanted to talk about with a complete stranger. He nodded at the idea of it being overwhelming, chuckling a little, "Well, I can't see colors, but I get overwhelmed with crowds, so I can kind of understand that," he answered with a smile. Honestly, Edmund didn't like crowds at all. He preferred being with a small group of people. Actually, what he really liked was being one on one with people, especially Addi. But he wasn't going to say that. He shook his head slightly and turned his attention back to Lysander.

@lysander

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Lysander paused for a minute when Edmund asked why the older boy liked his voice. There wasn’t a specific reason, really, and the Ravenclaw didn’t know how to express it without sounding wishy-washy or unsure. “I don’t know how to describe it.” He said after a length pause. “It’s just…nice. Not overwhelming, but not underwhelming, either. It just…is.” Aware that he had clarified absolutely nothing in that situation, Lysander pressed on to the next question, which he was slightly better-equipped to answer. “They don’t have literal meanings, but a lot of them seem to fall into the same general categories. Since I don’t have a lot of friends and I don’t talk to a lot of people, it’s hard for me to find the nuances of what each specific color might mean. Sometimes, though, there’s no reason for something – like I said, it just is.” One of the strangest things about synesthesia was that as soon as he thought he had figured it out, Lysander found a new piece of information that sent him into a tailspin. “I’m glad that there are some other people out there who understand, even a little.” Lysander knew a lot of extroverts, and they didn’t have a single problem plunging headfirst into a crowd. There were times when Sander wished he could be like that, but in the end, it was probably for the better that he mostly preferred to keep to himself.

@edmund