let me inside even though it hurts [george]

[Deleted]

This had been a long time coming, Fred knew. He had known he liked boys practically since his first year at Hogwarts, and while he hadn’t realized that he was gay until about sixth year, it was still a long time to keep the truth from his family, especially from his dad. It was his father that Fred was most scared of disappointing when it came to coming out, since it was his brother that Fred was supposed to be emulating. Roxy would definitely support him, Fred was sure, and their mother probably wouldn’t be that upset, either. It was just his dad.

Fred had practiced saying it in a mirror more times than was probably healthy, and had even scheduled a legitimate meeting with his father so that he knew he couldn’t back out of it. The sun had long since set and the doors to the shop had been locked for more than an hour, so Fred knew it would just be the two of them in the storage room where he had agreed to meet his father. Fred had given himself a pep talk as he walked down the stairs, and finally managed to stir up enough bravery to fling the door to the storage room open and, before his father could say anything, announced, “I’m gay.”

@george

[Deleted]

The early morning and the late evening after the shop was closed were the hardest time of day for him. His mind liked to wander during these times, and it always liked to finger at the void in his heart where his brother should be. Now that his son was working in the shop with him, it was a little easier to deal with, but the anguish still lingered, and it loved to rear its ugly head.

He pushed the thoughts out of his mind. No, he had to focus. There was still a lot to do before he could retire to bed. He rummaged around in the storage room while Fred cleaned the front of house, organizing boxes and merchandise. He was balancing a container of Skiving Snackboxes in one hand and Pygmy Puff chow in the other when his son burst into the storage room, looking extremely flustered.

"I'm gay."

George stared at his son, a long silence stretching between them. He had suspected for awhile that his son wasn't a hot-blooded heterosexual, but he remained quiet on the subject. His wife would murder him if he started poking fun at his son's sexuality. He slowly put the items in his hands down and approached Fred, raising his arm as if to strike the young man...

...and clapped him on the shoulder, drawing him into a hug. He leaned close to Fred's ear and whispered, "Hi gay, I'm Dad." He gently mussed his son's hair and drew him back to arm-level and regarding him with overflowing love and pride. He didn't care if his son was attracted to men, women, or plants. The fact that he confided in George about something so private was enough to make him fight back the sting of tears. "It's about time."

@fred

[Deleted]

Fred thought that he had prepared for every contingency. He had thought that, no matter how his dad reacted, he would have been able to be level-headed, explain his situation, explain everything, and then they would be able to come to a mutual agreement. What Fred hadn’t prepared for was for his father to make a joke out of it. Honestly, he should have expected it – his father’s entire life was centered on making jokes. He ran a joke shop! Despite that, though, Fred was angry. He was trying to be serious, he was trying to share an important piece of his life, of who he was with his father, and all his old man could do was make a joke out of it? His father was hugging him, but that didn’t stop Fred from pulling away, pulling back his fist, and then aiming a right hook for his father’s jaw. “What the hell, Dad!?” He shouted. He knew his mother was upstairs, but he didn’t care. She could hear him if she wanted to, because Fred was angry. “Can you be serious about anything, ever?” He spat, disgusted. “This is why I haven’t told you before!” Fred raged. That wasn’t the truth, but whatever. “Everything I do is just some big flipping joke to you!” He tried to find something else to say, something that would express how betrayed he was by this whole situation, but nothing was coming. Instead, Fred was left glaring at his father, knuckles aching from the force of the punch, fuming.

@george

[Deleted]

George was expecting his son to laugh along with him. To be relieved that George had taken the news so well. What he was not expecting was for Fred's fist to connect with his jaw. George's head snapped around, and he was fairly certain he would be dealing with the whiplash for a few days. He rubbed his jaw and looked at his son with obvious surprise. His brother would have been rolling on the floor guffawing at such a priceless joke...but his brother was dead. This was Fred, his son. Not Fred, his dead brother. They were two entirely different people, and it wasn't until now that George realized he had always lumped them together as one person. "Ah, hell." He sat down on a stack of wooden palettes, his head in his hands, his fingers stroking his face miserably. "I'm sorry, son," he said sadly. He could feel the anger radiating off the young man, and that just made him feel worse. He looked up at Fred, the illusion that his brother was still with him finally shattered. "You're so much like him. Sometimes...sometimes, I forget..." His voice trailed off, and George did something he'd never done in front of anyone.

He broke down.

The grown man wiped furiously at the traitorous tears that fell down his face. He had vowed he would never let his son see this show of weakness, and, yet, here he was, bawling like a child. He stood up, reaching for his son again. "I don't care if you're gay, straight, or a midget. You're my son-" not brother "-and I'll always be proud of you."

@fred

[Deleted]

Fred had never seen his dad like this. Just like he was Fred Weasley, second-generation jokester who was always supposed to be smiling, his father was George Weasley, first-generation jokester who was always supposed to be smiling. And now neither of them were, but for once in his life, Fred felt like he wasn’t pretending, and neither was his father. They both genuinely loved to joke, but it was exhausting to be that person, the one who always had to be happy. They both wore masks, and now there were none, and all of the anger drained out of Fred. It was hard to have to live up to someone else’s name, but it was also probably pretty damn difficult to watch someone grow up when your brother never had the chance to. Fred still wasn’t as old as his uncle was when he had died, but he was sure his twenty-first birthday was going to be an emotional affair. Then he would have lived longer than the old Fred had, and…that was scary. For everyone involved.

“I’m sorry for yelling.” Fred final said, defeated. “It’s just so frustrating, because I am trying so hard to be the man that you want me to be, and just once, when I try to be me, Fred…you laughed.” It wasn’t just the gay thing, or the joking thing. It was that Fred was finally being his own person, and his dad didn’t seem to think that was important. He looked down at his father, sitting on some pallets, and sighed. There was no good way to say that he wasn’t sure if his father could ever actually be proud of who he was, because it was just insulting. Instead, he just kicked at the floor. “That’s all I want, dad. To take over the family business, and to make you proud.” And it was all he wanted. If only it was that simple.

@george

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George rubbed his face with both hands, trying to nonchalantly wipe the moisture away from his eyes. He had promised himself over and over again that he would never bring up his dead brother to anyone, especially his son. George had a reputation to uphold not only as the man of the house but as the ultimate joke machine. That's what it felt like sometimes. That he was a machine, constantly programmed to have a smile on his face and a joke in his arsenal. He wasn't supposed to be this weeping mess.

"I didn't laugh because of what you said, Fred. I laughed because...that's what I'm supposed to do," he said helplessly, holding his arms out, palms up, in defeat. He stared at his feet and shuffled them aimlessly, lacking words for the first time in his life. "If your uncle had come to me and told me he was gay, I would have made that same joke. He would laugh. I would laugh. We would celebrate by blowing up another one of Ron's toys." He rubbed his face again. This wouldn't be what Fred wanted to hear. Comparing him to his deceased uncle was probably the most insulting thing George could do, but he had to explain himself somehow. "When I look at you, I see my brother. I shouldn't, but I do. You're so much like him. Having you here in the store with me is like having him back. Like he never..." George cleared his throat heavily. He would not cry again. "But you're your own person. And that's something I have to work on seeing. And it won't be easy."

George began walking around the storeroom, organizing items. Despite there big heart-to-heart, there was still work to be done. He paused. Smiled. "When I'm dead and gone, it'll be up to you to run this place. And it couldn't be in more capable hands."

@fred

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Fred understood what his father meant when he said that he laughed because it was what he was supposed to do. That didn’t mean that it hurt his heart any less. His dad didn’t seem to understand that the whole purpose of family was that they were the people who you could let your guard down around. They were the people who didn’t expect anything from you, who didn’t think in terms of what you were supposed to do or who you were supposed to be. What was the point in having people who knew every part of you if you weren’t actually going to show them every part of you!? Fred was beginning to think that there was a lot of his father that he wasn’t seeing, and that…wasn’t good.

“Well, he wasn’t gay, was he?” Fred asked, feeling slightly defeated. Some part of him wished that his father would shout that yes, his brother had been gay, and all he was doing was following the script that had been written for him before he had even been born. If that had been true, though, his father would have said it by now, Fred was sure. “And I can’t blow up any of Uncle Ron’s toys, because he doesn’t have them anymore, and he’d also probably kill me for it, because I’m just his nephew, not his older brother.” Fred couldn’t claim to be particularly close to anyone in his family, aside from James, obviously. He was close with his Aunt Hermione out of necessity – he needed someone to tell him that life would turn out alright, even when he shied away from challenges or failed.

Fred paused when his father talked about what would happen when he was gone. “You’re not going to die for a long time, pops.” Fred said, ambling over to the small sliver of wall that wasn’t occupied with shelving so he could lean against it. “But I hope you won’t have to die before you consider handing the place over. We’ve talked about a Hogsmeade location for a while, and, you know…” He scratched the back of his head. “Maybe, if that went through…I could try to manage it?” Tonight seemed to be a good night for dropping bombs.

@george

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George looked at his son, the light in his eyes dying with his next words. "No, he definitely wasn't gay. He was in love with your mum." Another topic George generally avoided. He knew he had never been Angelina's first choice. Sure, he was attracted to her, and they mourned Fred's death together. Now they had two beautiful children, and they were happy. But sometimes George still wondered who Angie really saw when they slept together at night...

The man shook his head. Now wasn't the time for him to be worrying about his love life. They were talking about Fred, and George had already made enough faux pas for one conversation. He needed to focus on his son.He wanted to contradict what the young man was saying about George not dying for awhile. He had thought the same thing about his brother, and they both knew how that had gone. But it would just be another error on George's part if he brought up the deceased Fred again. He sighed internally. He was going to need a drink before this was all over.

George raised an eyebrow curiously when Fred brought up the Hogsmeade location. Many years ago, when George and his brother realized that their business was going to be far more successful than they ever anticipated, they had tried to buy out Zonko's. They hadn't been successful, but their business had only continued to flourish, easily outselling anything Zonko's could hope to produce. After Fred's death, of course, George had given up on trying to buy out Zonko's. Now that Fred had brought it up, maybe it was time to try again. The thought of making such a business venture without consulting his brother pained George, but it was what Fred would have wanted. And brother Fred would definitely have approved of son Fred taking over that part of the chain.

He regarded his son for a long moment. This was a huge step for both of them. It could skyrocket George's business and mend his relationship with his son, or it could be a huge headache. But there was no time like the present to find out. "I'll make some phone calls," he said finally. The thought of his son being his business partner was scary and exciting. He paused...and smiled. "But you're still not getting a pay raise."

@fred

[Deleted]

Fred had thought that he had dropped enough bombs for both of them that day, but his father seemed to disagree. Fred gaped, slack-jawed, when his father said that his uncle definitely hadn’t been gay, because he had been in love with Fred’s mother. Fred repeated that to himself several times. His dead uncle had been in love with his mother. And he had thought that he had relationship problems. His dad was taking things to a whole new level of screwed up. The Gryffindor knew it was in his best interests to be quiet, thought – he had already probably pissed his dad off quite a bit, between his not-Fred reaction to the joke and the sucker punch to the jaw. If he wanted any chance at his father agreeing to let him manage his own store, Fred seriously needed to dial back on the emotional outbursts. He was known for being silly, not for taking everything too seriously. Then again, maybe seriousness was what his father wanted from a prospective store owner? Fred was winding himself into knots trying to attempt to follow his father’s supposed logic. And here he was, thinking he knew the man who had raised him.

His father agreed to make some phone calls, and Fred lit up like a Christmas tree. He knew that nothing was guaranteed, especially when it came to Zonko’s, but his father was taking a leap of faith for him, and that was dizzying. Fred felt for a moment like he ought to hug his dad, but they had already had physical contact that day, and Fred definitely didn’t want to perpetuate the stereotype of the overly emotional feminine gay man. He could hug his dad later, maybe when the deal actually went through. “I don’t need an hourly pay raise, dad.” Fred said firmly. “But since my store is going to outsell your store by millions of Galleons, I’ll take a cut of the profits.” He said smugly. Fred’s father didn’t often spend exorbitant amounts of money, anyways, so all of the money was going to come to him when his old man kicked the bucket. It definitely wasn’t going to happen soon, but there was a comfort in knowing that all of his hard work was going to pay off. “Besides, then I’ll be able to spy on Roxy for you, and make sure that no boys come a-knocking.” Fred said with a smile. If the Hogsmeade store did pan out, then Fred was going to relish his time as helicopter brother.

@george

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George tossed his head back and laughed at his son's bold claim, relieved that the tension of the situation was mostly over. The heart-to-heart with his son needed to happen, but it wasn't something he particularly enjoyed. He hoped it would strengthen their bond as father and son and still allow them to go back to laughing and joking around. At the end of the day, George was still the Joke Master, and he had a reputation to uphold.

Turning his head away so that his earless side was facing Fred, George cupped a hand to the empty hole and said, "I'm sorry, what was that? I'm afraid I can't hear you." The side of his head still freaked people out, especially new customers. He attracted the stares of many, but he didn't mind. The hole had become part of him, and he embraced it. There was also a never-ending supply of ear jokes. "And if your sister finds out you've been spying on her, she'll kill you." He paused as if deep in thought. "In that case, do it. Then I'll get your millions of galleons you planned on making."

He crossed the short space to Fred and drew the young man into a gentle hug. It was another tender moment, something that George wasn't known for, but something that needed to be done. "I am proud of you, Fred. And your uncle would be too."

@fred

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Fred let out a belly laugh when his dad turned so the side of his head without an ear was facing his son. Fred had never seen his dad with two ears, so honestly, he couldn’t remember him any other way, but it was still a good way to lighten the mood after such a serious conversation. “I thought you couldn’t hear me because you were getting old.” Fred smirked. “Like Grandpa.” Fred knew that whenever his grandfather didn’t respond to him, it was because he was trying to unhear whatever horrible joke Fred had just made, but it was funny to tease his grandfather about how his hearing was going, since over half of what left Fred’s mouth tended to be jokes that his Grandpa wanted to unhear.

“I can hold my own against Roxy, dad.” Fred said with a roll of his eyes. His sister was a force to be reckoned with, sure, but Fred was a host unto himself, and for every ounce of finesse his sister had, Fred had a pound of raw power. He would win a brawl against her easily. Apparently his father wasn’t going to be preparing Fred for his inevitable fight to the death, though – the older man preferred to hug. Fred wouldn’t call his father a hugger by any means, but it was nice, to know that he was eighteen and could still hug his dad. “Thanks, pops.” Fred said with a smile that was different from his normal Cheshire grin. “I’m glad to hear it.”

@george

[Deleted]

To be able to laugh with his son again was a great feeling. George worried for a moment that his mouth would make him lose Fred forever. That would be two Fred's lost to him, and he wasn't sure if his heart could take it. He felt better now, though. And from the looks of it, his son did, too. It would always be difficult for George not to compare the two Fred's, but it took this entire conversation for him to really realize that his son was his own person. Fred senior would never come back. And George couldn't force his memory on an innocent boy. The realization was painful, but it was also necessary.

George smiled and cuffed the back of Fred's head with his hand. "I may be old, but I could still kick your butt. So could your sister. Blimey your mum probably could, too. So watch your tone with me, young whipper-snapper." The smile never left his face as he finally released his son from the hug, and he gave Fred a gentle shove. "Now get back to work. You aren't making those millions of galleons yet." He gently pushed his son from the storage room, and leaving was like leaving behind an old life. Fred the son, not Fred the brother. George could live with that.