To Days Gone By (Addilyn)

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Edmund was sitting on the beach of the Black Lake, waiting for Addi to arrive. To his great relief, she didn't start pulling away from him after he told her the truth about what Grey really did. Not that she believed him, but at least she wasn't avoiding him. He closed his eyes as he sat there, his hands playing with the sand as his mind drifted back in time. He was thinking of his date with Addi, the one where they made sandcastles and had a not-only-water balloon fight and their camp-fire dinner. Everything was so much simpler back then. Now, she was broken. He wanted to stop it, to make everything better but he couldn't. Addi had to choose to forgive Grey and then maybe she could go back to the happy, bubbly Addi that he loved so dearly. He loved her even now, but he missed who she used to be.

After he he was done reminiscing, Edmund started to wonder why she wanted to meet him here. Not that he was opposed to the idea, he just wanted to know why. Either way, once she got here he was sure she'd tell him quickly. So he just had to be patient.  

@jill2

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@edmund
<3

Addilyn hadn't really assumed that Grey was going to send her an owl. However he had, and he sent quite a few of them. He gave her the same sad story that he had told Edmund, who had returned to Addi. That Theodosia had actually made him promise that if he didn't talk with her, that Addi would be scotch free from her bullying and terrorizing. However Addilyn thought differently, and had a big hunch that Theodosia's prior remark to their so called 'deal' was for Grey's own safety. So, she had asked Edmund to meet her at The Black Lake, just to talk about it all, because she really needed to.

As she walked down the hill to the lake, she had a cigarette in hand and she saw Edmund. He looked adorable, sitting there waiting for her. Smiling softly, yet sadly, she walked a little faster just so she could be with him. Addi took a long drag on the cigarette, then threw it on the ground and stomped on it as she let the smoke release from her mouth. Walking over to him she gave him a small smile. "Hi, E."

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It wasn't too long before Edmund could hear Addi approaching. At least, he assumed it was Addi. Technically it could be anyone, but it was almost like he could sense her as she got close. When he heard her greet him, he opened his eyes and turned so he could see her. "Hey Adds. Is something wrong?" He asked almost instantly. He wasn't sure what was going on, but one glance was all it took for him to know that something happened. Edmund wanted to know what. He thought they'd already hit the bottom, that things couldn't get worse and now he was worried that he was wrong. That something happened. He watched her closely, searching for his answer. 

@jill2

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@edmund
<3

Addilyn had expected him to be worried, but not this crazily scared about what she wanted to talk about. Her eyebrows raised, and she shook her head at him, a small grin grazing her face. "Don't worry, Edmund. It's nothing... Horrible. But it's nothing to do with you either," Addi kissed his cheek gently and sat down next to him. "It's Grey. He's owl'd me."

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Edmund chuckled lowly at himself when Addi saw straight through him. How come she always knew when he was worried. Well, almost always. Sometimes she was too distracted by her own problems to notice, but that was understandable. "Sorry Adds. I just worry when I don't know what we need to talk about," he tried to explain, though he knew there was no real good reason for it. He remembered the last time she asked to meet him and he thought she wanted to break up with him. All right, that was something he needed to work on. Higher expectations. He smiled and leaned forward to give her a kiss on the cheek in return before she spoke again. 

She mentioned Grey and Edmund's eyes widened. He knew Grey was going to owl her, but he didn't think she'd want to talk to him about it. At least, not after their conversation the other day. Still, he was glad she was confiding in him. "So what happened? And how long have the two of you been owling one another," he prompted, trying to get her started. Hopefully he wouldn't have to drag the whole thing out of her. 

@jill2

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@edmund
<3

She gave him a look but nodded her head. He was always so worrisome; sometimes it was cute, other times she didn't know whether to laugh at him or be annoyed. She smiled when he kissed her.

"Well... We've sent owls for about two days now. But it didn't go very well.." Her eyes began to water. "He pretty much told me he was giving up... Didn't want to fix anything. All his last message said was sorry..."

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This was not good. Edmund knew that Addi was angry at her brother, that she was going to make him work in order to fix things, but after his conversation with Grey a few days ago, Edmund had the distinct impression that Grey was willing to work to fix things. So what went wrong. He reached forward and took her hand between both of his, rubbing it gently as he asked some more questions. "What happened? What were you both saying to one another?" he paused for a second, debating whether or not to ask his next question. "Did he say he didn't want to fix anything?" Please, Grey, he thought to himself. Please don't tell me this got messed up even more. The good news is that whatever happened, Addi wasn't shutting down completely again, but she was about to cry. 

@jill2

[Deleted]

@edmund
<3

Addi couldn't help the tears that began streaming down her face. She began sobbing, thankful that no one was around. Addi shook her head at Edmund, unable to speak for a few moments. Thinking about Grey and what he said was breaking her heart, but she knew she had to tell him. "He pretty much said that he was a problem, only you could care about me, he wouldn't be able to fix it, he wouldn't be able to promise he couldn't do it again, and he was going to remove himself from me, and just leave everything broken..." Addilyn tried her hardest to make sure Edmund understood everything she just tried to say while crying.

She sat up, and looked out into the lake. Her breathing became very erratic.

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She was all but hysteric. Edmund watched her for a moment as she sobbed and then she started explaining what happened. Her voice was going in and out while she cried, but Edmund understood what she was saying. A part of him was furious with Grey for making things even worse, somehow, but the other part of him knew that Grey hadn't done it alone. Addi probably wouldn't accept his apology. The thing to do now, though, was calm her down. Somehow. 

"Adds," Edmund began, reaching over to her and trying to pull her so she was sitting in front of him, in between his legs with her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist, hoping that would comfort her somewhat and started whispering into her hair. "Calm down, Adds. Breathe. Come on, deep breaths," he repeated softly, holding her close. He was trying to show her that he wasn't going anywhere. This was something his dad did when he was a kid and couldn't calm down. He would have Edmund sit where Addi was now and just let him get his emotions in check, then invite him to talk. For Edmund, the talking was easier when his back was to his dad because then he couldn't see his face, his reaction to whatever Edmund had to say, but he could still feel his dad comforting him.

After she calmed down, Edmund whispered something else. "And how did you respond to all those things he said, Adds?" he breathed into her ear quietly. He was trying to stay soothing, to not make things worse but at the same time he needed to know what happened. He wasn't going to charge off, angry at Grey again, without knowing what happened.

@jill2

[Deleted]

@edmund
<3

As Edmund pulled her close to him, her back against his chest and in between his legs, Addi broke down even more. Why did he have to be so sweet and comforting? Addi lied backwards, into him, and rested her head under his chin, and just let the tears fall. His quiet voice calmed her down slightly, and when he told her to breathe, she did. Addi shut her eyes, suddenly completely exhausted, completely tired. Her brother was gone. He wasn't going to come back. Grey didn't want anything to do with Addilyn, and she didn't know how she was going to continue living without her big brother.

Addi took a shaky breath. "I told him to do what he wanted. But I did tell him I wanted it fixed, Edmund...I did...and he just...he's just gone. He doesn't want to fix it, he doesn't want to try to be my big brother...he doesn't want me." Just talking about it made her heart break even more.

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She was calming down, if only a little bit. At least it was a start. He rubbed her head gently with his chin, messing up her hair a little bit, but he didn't care. He was thinking through what she told him. He couldn't believe that Grey would give up if she said she wanted to fix it. He just didn't understand how that would happen. He might ask to see the owls ... later. Obviously right now was not the right time. 

He wanted to ask more questions, but he was nervous to. He didn't want to upset Addilyn even more, but he needed to get to the bottom of this. Both she and Grey were aching for the same thing (as far as he could tell) but for some ridiculous reason they couldn't work it out between one another. He moved one hand from her waist and trailed it up and down her arm softly, without even realizing he was doing it. He was thinking too hard on what he had to say. "I believe you. I know you want it all fixed. Adds, did he happen to tell you what I did they other day?" He tried to make his voice sound casual, but he had to continue with a follow up question, "Or what reason did he give you for ignoring you?" He knew this was hard on her, but he couldn't just leave it be.

@jill2

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@edmund
<3

When Edmund began speaking again, Addilyn realized she forgot to mention that Grey had actually told her exactly what Edmund had the other day. She took a deep breath and nodded her head. "Yes...he told me what you did. He also told me that what Theodosia told you was wrong, and that he's ignoring me for my protection." When Addi felt his fingers on her arm she took in a sharp breath at the touch. "But...I don't think I believe him. I don't see why I should, E."

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Edmund thought for another minute, his fingers continually tracing up and down her arm absentmindedly. "Well, do you have any reason not to believe him? I mean, other than his behavior the last few weeks?" He shook his head, his chin rubbing back and forth on the top of her head being a side result. This was coming out all wrong. "I mean, if he told you something like that a few weeks ago, would you have believed him?" There. He said it right that time. Hopefully. "And ... did you tell him you didn't believe him?" he asked. If she did and they argued about it for a while, he could understand why Grey would give up. It was hard to fight against Addi. She could be very ... stubborn when she wanted to be.

@jill2

[Deleted]

@edmund
<3

Addilyn couldn't really bring it to herself to be mad at Edmund. He was just trying to help, and even if his questions were all fumbled, Addi knew what he was trying to say. "Well, no. I don't really have any reason to not believe him. I just...I don't want to believe him, Edmund." Addi knew that it was probably rude of her, but she couldn't help it. Grey had gotten away with so many things, that it was unbelievably frustrating to her. "But, yes, I did tell him I don't believe him."

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She probably wanted him to make some comment to say that he agreed with her, but Edmund didn't. At the moment he was trying to find out exactly what happened and Addi ... was making him pull it out of her. She didn't expand on anything, but at least she was answering his questions. "Why don't you want to believe him, Adds?" He waited a moment before asking another question. He hated only asking questions, but he couldn't tell her what he thought until he knew what he thought. "What did he say when you told him you didn't believe him?" Hopefully she'd just expound and he wouldn't have to keep asking 20 questions, but Edmund would do whatever he had to. He was trying to help.

@jill2