if you ask me how i'm doing, i would say i'm doing just fine

[Deleted]

Fate couldn't settle for taking away Oscar's family. Of course not. It tore huge, gaping wounds into his soul and then, just when he thought he was about to heal, stuck its fingers in and rubbed salt into the wound. It had taken away his family, and it had taken away his dreams, and Oscar...wasn't okay. He was hurting, and he didn't have any words for it in either of the languages that he knew. He had managed to write a shaky letter to Madame Moreau, and an even shakier one to Caden, but they had both been mostly the news and then nonsense: he was not the Beauxbatons champion, and then a bunch of scribbles and tear-smeared words. He had retreated out of the carriage, not wanting to know what would happen if he came across Emile. Oscar went the only place in the castle he knew to go with any sort of certainty: the third floor. The girl he had met there, Anna, had won the Hogwarts Champion position, and Oscar was...upset. Angry. Dejected. All of them, none of them, someplace in between. For all of his bravado, Ozzy hadn't been able to come through, and Anna had. He didn't know how he was going to face her, when they eventually ran into each other again. For now, Oscar was sitting on the floor in the corridor, knees drawn up to his chest and head cradled in his hands. He wasn't crying, but he was close to it, and he just wanted to be alone.

@annelise

[Deleted]

Anna felt numb. She was excited- thrilled really- that she was Hogwarts Champion. It was like all her craziest dreams came true, but at the same time she felt like she must have just imagined it. There was no way she was really the Hogwarts Champion. So many other people put their names in, so many people that were so much braver than her or smarter than her. She could hardly believe that she was chosen.

Still, with the party in Gryffindor tower still going on, it had to be real. So many people congratulating her and telling her she'd do great. All her friends supporting her. She could do it with their support. After all, Andy already promised to help her and she knew she could rely on others too. 

There was one person that she really wanted to see about it, but was nervous to. Oscar. She knew he must be disappointed about not being chosen, and she definitely didn't want to rub it in his face that she was chosen, but she wanted to see him. After their last conversation, one where they actually got along, she found herself wanting to speak with him more and more frequently. Now was no different, but she didn't know where to find him.

So she was wandering around the castle, not really paying attention to where she was or where she was going. It was the first time since her name was pulled out of the goblet that she was really alone and Anna didn't know what to think. After wandering around for an immeasurable time, she paused and looked around herself, smiling just a touch. She was on the third floor, close to the spot where she kept on running into Oscar. She turned and put her back against the wall, closing her eyes and remembering their encounters. What she wouldn't give to see him now.

She opened her eyes and turned to the side, ready to leave, when she saw him. No way. She could hardly believe it and was excited but at the same time nervous. He didn't look happy at all. "Oscar," she said quietly, wondering if he was angry at her.

@oscar

[Deleted]

Being alone apparently wasn’t in the cards any more than being a champion was for Oscar. He was surprised to see that Anna was out of the tower that her house members lived in. If Hogwarts was anything like Beauxbatons, the party to celebrate her would still be going on. If Ozzy had been picked as champion…He hadn’t been, so that was a poor line of thinking to follow, he decided. In any case, the Beauxbatons boy wasn’t sure he could trust himself to look at Anna without bursting into tears or punching her, so he kept his head in his hands. He moved his head slightly up and down in a half nod to acknowledge that he had heard Anna, though, and cleared his throat a little. “Anna.” He replied. His voice sounded normal, which was one of the little blessing in a world that seemed desperate to shove Oscar as far down into hell that any person could go through while still being alive. “Congratulations.”

His mothers would have been proud of him for how gracious he was being. With a jolt, Oscar remembered what day it was. It was nine months, now, that they had been gone. He switched the position of his head, moving it so it was leaning against the wall, his face turned towards the ceiling. He wished that the ceilings of the entire school were like the Great Hall, where the outside sky could be shown. Oscar could have really used a glance at the stars, if only for the feeling that someone or something was watching over him. He was being foolish, though, because if his mothers or his father had bothered to stick around and watch him from above, he wouldn’t be in this position. They would have helped him achieve his dream. “I am fine.” Oscar said preemptively, assuming that Anna’s next words would be some sort of condolences for his own inability to win a champion spot. “I am just fine.” He repeated, assuring himself more than Anna.

@annelise

[Deleted]

He looked so upset, sitting there on the floor looking broken. Anna didn't know what to say. A part of her was so happy that she'd found him, but now that he was in front of her, she felt confused. There wasn't really anything she could say to try and make him feel better. Maybe if she hadn't been chosen as champion, but she had. So what now? Did he even want to see her? Probably not. He wasn't even looking at her, which was probably a good thing because she was so exhausted after everything that happened over the past 24 hours that she couldn't keep her thoughts from crossing her face.

Anna nodded when he congratulated her, then realized he couldn't see that, not while he wasn't looking at her. "Thanks," she muttered as she put her back against the wall and slid down it so she was sitting next to him. She wasn't trying to pressure him into a conversation with her or anything, but she didn't want to leave. She opened her mouth to say she was sorry he hadn't been chosen, but before she could say a word, he said he was fine. Then he repeated himself, saying the same thing again. She didn't believe him. From their first encounter, she knew how important this tournament was to him. And, finding him sitting on the floor looking broken didn't make him look like he was fine. "I'm still sorry," she commented softly, hoping not to upset him more. She paused, not knowing what else she could say. What was there to be said that wouldn't make him feel worse?

@oscar

[Deleted]

Without looking Anna in the eyes, it was hard for Oscar to tell how she was feeling. Maybe that was for the better – he was afraid of what he’d see if he looked at her. He didn’t want to be pitied. As bad as he felt, he was certain that pity would only make it worse. That was how it had been after his mothers died. There was that subject again. He couldn’t seem to escape it. “Thank you.” Ozzy said quietly after she apologized. Oddly enough, it did make him feel better. Just having her there made him feel better, her warm body pressed against his. He had never just sat with a girl beside him before. Margaux preferred to be other places in relationship to him, and his other girlfriends, too, had liked to be in a position where they could see his face. Without knowing exactly why he was doing what he was doing, Oscar slipped his fingers through Anna’s.

“It has been nine months now, since my mothers died.” He informed her quietly. “And I did not even remember.” There. That was a reason to be upset that didn’t have anything to do with her, or the Tournament, so she could offer her condolences without feeling like a hypocrite, and he could accept them without feeling like a sellout. True, the reason he hadn’t remembered was because he had been too busy being upset about not being the champion, but it wasn’t the same thing, Ozzy hoped. “I do not want you to die.” The comment, like the hand-holding, came out of left field for Oscar. It made sense, though, in hindsight. Everyone he cared about seemed to meet their untimely end. He cared about Anna, in a strange way, and she was putting herself in a dangerous position. It didn’t take a genius to run those odds.

@annelise

[Deleted]

He said thank you. Anna felt herself relax when he didn't get offended. It was nice sitting next to him like this, relaxing in a way. She hadn't felt relaxed since dinner in the Great Hall. Ok, that was a lie to herself. She'd been nervous ever since she put her name in the Goblet of Fire, doubting whether or not she'd get picked, wondering what would happen. The few times she'd been distracted from that was when she was talking to people, especially Oscar.

Then he linked his fingers with hers and Anna's breath caught for a moment. She'd never really been in this situation with anyone before, even just holding hands. She'd never been in a relationship before, though she wouldn't admit that to anyone, much less Oscar. So holding hands was a big deal to her, even though she wouldn't say that either. She couldn't help the small smile that covered her face. Until he said his mothers died nine months ago.

Involuntarily her hand tightened around his for a moment. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "You have had a lot going on the last few days though," she said in his defense, even though she didn't think he'd accept that. She waited, not knowing what else to say. The last time he mentioned his mothers, he didn't really want to talk about it, so she didn't know if he'd want to now. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

"I do not want you to die," Anna was taken by surprise at his concern, but at the same time it touched her. "I'm not going to die," she told him seriously. "They've taken a lot of precautions and I know how to defend myself," mostly. She'd have to do a lot more studying and practicing now that she'd made it though. She didn't want to die either. "Thanks though," she said, not wanting him to think she was upset in any way.

@oscar

[Deleted]

Anna squeezed his hand, and Oscar found himself squeezing back. All of the emotions that were crashing around him were making him behave strangely, with the hand holding and all. But he liked the strangeness. “I thought I would never forget.” Ozzy told Anna miserably. “It was the worst day, and I thought that I would never forget how my heart felt in that moment.” He finally brought his head down, so he was staring straight forward instead of at the ceiling. It was one step closer to looking at Anna, which was a different way of thinking about it than Oscar had anticipated, but he didn’t much care. He was working on the whole normal thing. When she offered to talk about it, Oscar found himself lost for words. “Maybe some other day.” He said after considering it. Just like with everything else, Oscar needed time to figure out what he wanted to say.

Oscar winced when Anna said that she wasn’t going to die. “With all respect,” he interjected, “My mothers did not expect to die. They were caught off guard, and no amount of defense saved them. My adoptive father was a, how do you say…an Auror. He was protected. He knew how to defend himself. He died, too.” He informed her, voice perhaps a bit too sharp. “I will help you to practice.” Oscar declared. He knew of the Beauxbatons champion, but at this point, his personal loyalty to Anna was beginning to rival even his loyalty to the school, for some reason he couldn’t hope to decipher. “And…we can still do more history lessons later, yes? Or will you have no time, with Champion things?” Oscar hadn’t been able to devote enough time to writing his account of English and French history with all of the worrying about the Tournament, but he still hoped to be able to share his passion with Anna. If they were already together, she couldn’t say no to him helping her practice, either.

@annelise

[Deleted]

He was miserable. It was blatantly obvious and Anna felt so bad for him. She nodded when he said that he thought he would never forget. What was she supposed to say to that? Then she realized he wasn't looking at her. There was no way he could see her nodding. Tentatively, she spoke up a little. "You didn't forget the way you felt, just the date a little. At least you remembered before the day was over, right?" She nodded again when he said maybe they'd talk about it some other time. Then rolled her eyes at herself. You can't nod at someone who's not looking at you! They might think you're ignoring them. She shrugged, though that was pointless too, "Well if you ever do want to talk, just let me know."

She felt him wince when she said she wasn't going to die. And then he started arguing with her, telling her his mothers didn't plan on dying and his father didn't either. She didn't know what to say. Obviously, he was right, but she wasn't going to sit around and think about how she couldn't prevent it if she was going to die. She would prepare as best she could and use positive thinking to her advantage. She didn't think that would go over well with him though, so she said nothing.

However, when he said he was going to help her practice, she turned to face him, though she didn't let go of his hand. He looked completely serious, which is what surprised her. If he wanted Beauxbatons to win so much, why was he going to help her? "I'd like that," she said, once she could get herself to speak.

She smiled when he asked if she still wanted to do history lessons. "Of course I still want the history lesson," she told him. He did have a point though, when he mentioned how much time she would have. Her time was going to be tight, what with being a Champion, a leader for Phoenix Rising and all the classes she was taking to get ready to be an auror. But it didn't matter, she would make time for him. "I have plenty of time," she lied smoothly. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right?

@oscar

[Deleted]

Oscar licked his lips, his head bobbling slightly when Anna said that he had just forgotten the date a little. Of course, he could never forget the feeling in the pit of his stomach, because it was similar to the way he had felt when his name hadn’t been announced, but a lot more extreme. Anna’s offer of talking helped Ozzy, though. The only people he had ever felt comfortable telling things about his mothers were Caden and Madame Moreau, and neither of them were there, so it was nice to have another confidante. Somehow, he and Anna had become friends, which puzzled Ozzy. After their first meeting, he hadn’t been sure that he’d ever be able to talk to her again, and now, here she was, the only person that she wanted to talk to. “I will.” He responded. “Though feelings are hard for words to say.” Even if he did have someone to talk to, Oscar doubted that he’d be able to get everything out the way he wanted to.

The Beauxbatons boy smiled when his Hogwarts friend (how he loved that word) accepted his help. Two heads were better than one, but two countries were better than one, too. It would be like…well, one of the many wars where France and England cooperated, but hopefully without all of the casualties on the French side. Even if Oscar wasn’t all that studious himself, he was excellent at bossing others around, and he didn’t think that that would stop just because Anna was his friend now. She had already seen a bit of his temper, and in a paradoxical way, that made Ozzy sure that he was going to be able to be patient with her.

“First lesson.” Ozzy said, a smirk managing to break through his sadness for a fraction of a second. “There is never enough time.” It was a principle in just about every history: someone didn’t have enough time, and that made them screw up. It happened in literature quite a lot, too, people trying to make time where there was none. Oscar was certain that Anna was lying to him, even though she did so extremely convincingly. “When you know when your friends will be helping you and your schedule, feel free to find me.” He smiled again, squeezing Anna’s hand and finally turning his head to look at her. “I will be here.”

@annelise

[Deleted]

Anna grinned when he told her that he'd come to her. "That's all right. Sometimes it helps to get out what you can so you're not bottling it all up." She wasn't really sure if he would like that, but she didn't care. It was true. Anna sometimes felt like a therapist because everyone wanted to talk to her about things that were happening. She also had a gift for helping people talk when they didn't want to. It was obvious to her that holding in your emotions was a bad thing.

He smiled when she accepted his offer for help, which Anna took as a good sign. Then he smirked and Anna's eyes narrowed slightly. What was he about to say? "There is never enough time." She glared at him, even though he still wasn't looking at her. "There is for someone who knows how to manage it right," she quipped, not worried about upsetting him anymore. If he was going to tease her, she would tease him right back. Then he told her to feel free to find him once she figured out her schedule, finally turning to look at her and telling her he would be there. She smiled back at him, "Here as in right here," she pointed to the floor, "Or how am I supposed to find you?" She was teasing, but there was also some truth in her words. How was she supposed to find him?

@oscar

[Deleted]

Bottling up feelings was something that Oscar wasn’t used to – he said what he meant and he meant what he said. At least, that’s what he thought happened. When Anna mentioned it, though, Ozzy began to think a little more deeply about the problem and found that yes. He did bottle quite a bit up. That was why he was so distraught about his inability to win the champion position – it wasn’t the position itself, so much of the principle of the thing, and that he didn’t feel like he could do anything right. Well, that was depressing.

Oscar still didn’t believe that Anna had enough time to do everything that she wanted to, but if she wanted to pretend that she had a Time Turner, he would be more than happy to let her, so long as she didn’t get angry at him when she got stressed from her over-extension. “Yes, I will wait right here, every day and every night, for you to find me.” He said, as teasing as his voice could get in English. “Truly, if you want to find me, I do not think it will be hard. I am in the castle whenever I am not in lessons, and we have a talent for running into each other.” This was now the fourth time they had managed to find each other entirely by chance, and Oscar was confident in his ability to stumble into Anna when they actually wanted to see each other.

@annelise

[Deleted]

Anna laughed when he teased her and then shrugged, "Well, you did say you'll be here," she teased right back, her mind involuntarily flashing back to their first meeting. She never would have imagined them having a conversation like this back then. She never wanted to see him again after that night. Yet now, she was glad they ran into each other so much. Then he started talking about the same thing, their seeming gift for running into one another. She raised an eyebrow at him, still wanting to tease him a bit, "Well, maybe that's because of how ... well we got along the first time."Yes, that was slightly sarcastic. They definitely did not get along that first time. "How do I know you're not going to hide in your carriage from now on?" She planned on stopping there, but then something he said caught her attention, a little late. "Wait, so you are taking lessons? Where? How?" She asked curiously. She wondered if the foreign students were taking classes or not, but it seemed like they were now and she couldn't hold back her curiosity.

@oscar

[Deleted]

Ozzy gave Anna a half-smile when she pointed out his error in speaking. Well, not error so much as inaccuracy. In any case, it was pointed out, but Oscar knew she was teasing, so he didn’t both putting any effort into being offended. “The next time I will be less specific.” He promised her. Assuming there would be a next time when he told her where he would meet her, which actually seemed likely considering the friendship they were building and the fact that he had offered to help Anna with her Tournament training.

“You are saying because we fought the first time, we ran into each other more?” Oscar asked. “I do not understand.” If fighting with Anna meant that she ran into him more, then maybe Ozzy was going to have to pick another fight. When she asked him about how she knew he wasn’t going to go hide in the carriage, Oscar laughed. It felt strange in his throat, and came out sounding like two pieces of sandpaper being rubbed together. “Is my word enough?” He teased. “Because I promise I will not hide from you.” He had no reason to anymore, because they had put their first meeting behind them, and now they were sitting on the floor together, holding hands and talking like she wasn’t a champion and he wasn’t a nobody.

Anna asked about his schooling, and Oscar waved his hand vaguely. “In the carriage, there is a lesson room.” He explained. “Our headmistress has been given a curriculum by all of our teachers so that we can continue to learn. She is not as good of teacher, though.” Oscar said. The headmistress was not his biggest fan, and now that he hadn’t won the champion position, she wasn’t any more likely to want him. “It is not very fun.” He informed Anna. It was even less fun than regular school.

@annelise

[Deleted]

Oscar was taking the teasing way better than Anna expected. She thought he'd at least pretend to be offended, but he didn't and that made her happy. Maybe she was helping him feel happier. Actually, she hadn't ever seen him smile so much before. She liked it. She grinned, "Or more specific, either way," Anna couldn't help herself when it came to teasing him, apparently. She didn't want to think about why, but she did. And making things even better, sitting here holding hands with Oscar felt natural and perfect. 

Anna thought for a moment when he said he didn't understand. Should she really try to explain it? Also, should she be honest about her feelings about him the first time they met? "Well I don't know about you, but after our fight I didn't want to see you again. Obviously that didn't work out the way I wanted it to," she explained. Was that a good enough explanation? Or was he not going to understand it. Then she realized he might take that the wrong way. "I'm glad it didn't, and that we keep on running into each other." she added on quickly, blushing just enough that he would probably be able to notice, but not enough that she felt like she was burning. "So if I start a fight with you in the future ..." she trailed off, a little too embarrassed to finish the implication, but sure he would get it all the same.

She grinned at the sound of his laugh. He promised he wouldn't hide from her and Anna stared at him for a second. She nodded, "I believe you," she told him seriously. She wanted that to be perfectly clear to Oscar, even though she was teasing him about almost everything else.

Anna listened with rapt attention when Oscar started talking about how he had lessons in the carriage. And then how he didn't like it. She frowned. "Maybe you could come to some of our classes sometime?" she suggested casually. "Or you could study in the library if you'd rather that over learning from your headmistress ..." Anna didn't know how Oscar would feel about either of those ideas, but she didn't want him to dislike his last year of school. She wanted it to be enjoyable for him.

@oscar

[Deleted]

“You will have to choose one.” Oscar informed Anna when she said that he could also be more specific. “And then find me here to tell me which.” He said, eyes sparkling at the joke he had made. He was still disappointed about not being chosen, but this conversation with Anna was helping him to remember that there were other good things about this year. Had they not been told that the Tournament was just as much about international cooperation as it was international competition? Now he could still have a hand in helping the obvious winner of the Tournament, and he wouldn’t even be in danger of dying. Sure, he would still be essentially worthless in the scheme of things, but maybe, if he was not worthless to Anna, he could find a way to use her influence – for she would certainly have some, even if she didn’t win the Tournament – to help himself somehow. That wasn’t his primary goal in helping Anna, but it would be nice if that could work out.

Ozzy let out another harsh laugh when Anna said that she didn’t really want to see him after their first fight. “The feeling was the same.” Oscar said, sticking before the word ‘same’. He knew there was an English word…mutual! Oh well, too late now for him to correct himself. He was glad, though, that they had continued to run into each other, either on accident or on purpose. “If you start a fight in the future, I will know that it is just your secret way of wanting to see me more.” Oscar replied, filling in the sentence that Anna had trailed off on. He squeezed her hand lightly again, still marveling in how nice it felt to be holding hands with someone for the sole purpose of holding hands.

The Beauxbatons boy didn’t know what to say when Anna offered several alternatives to having to learn in the carriage. “Maybe the library…” He said thoughtfully. “I do not think that many people would be happy about learning with the enemy.” Besides, Oscar was pretty certain that he couldn’t just skip his classes in the carriage. It wouldn’t help anyone’s opinion of him. But if he did better in his classes, maybe the headmistress would stop being so rude to him. “Do you have clubs here?” Oscar asked Anna. “Maybe that would be a good way to get out of the carriage. Meet more English.” He added.

@annelise