About A Boy ** (CORDELIA)

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cordelia regan smith
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This was not how McKenna had imagined her seventh and last year at Hogwarts to go. This was so...so horrible. She didn't know what to do. It was late...about 10 pm. No one was in the Common Room, Kenny assumed they were all sleeping. So, instead of crying in her bed where the other girls could hear her, she went downstairs to the main common room area and sat on the yellow couch with her grey fleece blanket and cried. It was not pretty, to say the least, as she was so distraught that she could hardly breathe.

To explain, it was about a boy. A boy whom she hardly knew, only his name, had...well, they'd slept together. Like, had sex. And...goodness that was such a sin! And worse, McKenna didn't even remember! The sobs racked her body. Apparently, from what she had remembered, they were completely drunk. Which again, in her opinion, sin! Sinning everywhere! Kenny didn't know what to think about all of this, and she could never let her parents find out. She didn't want to know what they'd do if they knew their daughter was...was so horrible.

[cordelia regan smith]

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Sleeping had never been an issue for Cordelia, but tonight was a little different for some reason. She had unknowingly gotten caught up in the excitement of the Triwizard Tournament, something she had never seen herself doing. The champion selection was still a ways off, the end of the month to be precise, but if October went by anywhere as fast as September had, then it wouldn’t be long until every student at Hogwarts (including Beauxbatons and Durmstrang as well), would have their hunger to find out who the champions were going to be satiated. Cordelia wasn’t exactly sure how she had become interested in the whole deal since it meant more people in the castle that would want to possibly interact with her. She had gotten wind of possible reporters showing up at the school following the announcements at the end of the month. While that wouldn’t pique too many student’s interests, she had always wanted to watch a professional photographer in action, even if it was from a distance where she wouldn’t be noticed. Aspirations like these were what ended up keeping her awake at night, and tonight was one of those rare occasions where it seemed like she would never fall asleep.

Instead of trying to lay in bed all night and attempting a futile battle with the sandman, in which her brain would ultimately win over and over again, Cordelia hopped up with an energy that was unlike her and decided to wander into the common room. It was an unusually quiet night, which meant she didn’t have to fear someone coming in and trying to talk to her. The last thing she needed was to be energized and socially awkward. For some reason, those two things didn’t mix well with her. Regardless, the thoughts of meeting a real photographer, or at least observing one, were enough to dispel the possibilities of coming into contact with other Hufflepuffs in the common room. Padding quietly down the hallway towards the large room, Cordelia was met with an odd sound: crying. She stopped in her tracks as her head snapped out of the clouds. There was another person in the common room, a girl by the sound of it, crying. She wasn’t equipped with the abilities to handle someone crying, especially if it was about something beyond her comprehension. Then again, she had always planned to be healer like her mum if the photography thing didn’t work out. Clenching her hands into fists and biting down onto her lip, she shook her head and stepped into the common room.

Finding the source of the crying, she stepped around the big sofa and was surprised to see it was McKenna. In a way, it was almost a relief that it was a friend and not a complete stranger. Cordelia stood in front of her friend, trying to get her attention without moving. It was silly to think that would do anything, so she stepped closer to see if McKenna would notice her there. “Is everything okay Kenna?” She said quietly and confidently, her stutter completely absent from it. Now wasn’t the time to be worrying about herself.

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McKenna hadn't heard anyone coming down the stairs. Her sobs were tuning out any other noise around her. She hadn't expected to be so loud, but there was no one around her so she figured it would be alright if she just let it all out the way she wanted to. So when there was a person in front of her, McKenna jumped. Her eyes widened and she looked through her tears to see who it was...ah, Cordelia Smith. They were friends, and McKenna felt bad that she was crying like this in front of the girl.

She scooted over on the couch and wiped away the tears feverishly that were on her face. Kenny sniffled and nodded her head. "Oh, hello Cordelia...sorry about all this." McKenna used her hands to wave about, trying to put forth that she was apologizing for the way she was acting. "Everything is not okay, unfortunately. I'm just trying to figure out how to fix it all." McKenna sighed heavily, more tears falling. She wasn't sure how to fix it, she was just pitying herself at the moment.

[cordelia regan smith]

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She wasn’t sure what to say or do, especially because she didn’t know how to console another person. But this was McKenna. They had been friends for a long time and there was obviously something going on that was affecting her. Now wasn’t the time to dawdle and try and figure out if she was wanted to help or not. It was obvious that she wanted to. That’s what friends were for. Cordelia was still standing at the edge of the couch as McKenna moved on it and started wiping away her tears, apologizing for the whole thing. Why was she doing that? It was only natural to cry if something was bothering you. She had done that plenty of times during her first few years at Hogwarts when she was made fun of for her stuttering. Things had eased up as the years went on and she had worked on improving her speech problem, mostly from the help given by McKenna and her other friends. As few as they were, they had made her feel normal even though she had severe communication and social issues. Now it was time to reciprocate that with McKenna.

“N-no need to apologize. Crying helps me when I’m sad.” Cordelia walked around the front of the couch and took a seat next to her friend. Hopefully this wasn’t more than what McKenna had expected out of her. She wanted to help out as much as she could, even if it was just listening to what her friend had to say. Turning to face McKenna, she listened intently to what was being said. Cordelia wanted to do her best here, so she nodded her head to show that she understood what McKenna was saying. “I can listen…if you’re fine talking about it again,” she said confidingly. “I’ll do my best to help too…”

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Cordelia sat down next to her and McKenna couldn't help but smile at her through the tears. She was being exceptionally sweet, and McKenna knew she would do the same thing if the position was reversed. She had gotten quite used to Cordelia's stuttering, so it wasn't anything that Kenny had to listen intently to too try to figure out what she was saying. But she did find it sweet that Cordelia offered to listen to her to see what was wrong.

McKenna took a deep breath. She tilted her head to the side and smiled, wiping away a few more tears. How was she supposed to explain this to Cordelia without sounding like a horrible person? "Well...I-the other night, there was a party. I must've had too much too drink or something...I don't really remember..." Her voice was quiet, embarrassed. "And...I slept with him. But I hardly know him, Cordelia. I don't understand why this happened to me." A small sob escaped her lips, but Kenny tried to keep the tears under control.

[cordelia regan smith]

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On the outside, it seemed like McKenna had already calmed down enough to want to talk, which definitely made things a lot easier for Cordelia. She knew that whatever her friend said was more than likely going to confuse her at some point; she wasn’t the most immersed individual when it came to situations like these, especially if they were about things she had never been through herself. Which was actually quite a lot of things. Definitely more than she could count on her fingers…and maybe toes as well, and quite possibly all of her friends’ fingers and toes too. It was a hefty number either way. But here she was, about to do the best she could despite her shortcomings.

Cordelia listened intently as McKenna described what had happened, and why she was the way she was now. Just as she had anticipated, this problem contained a number of different things that she didn’t understand yet. At least she had gone into it knowing that this was a possibility that could happen. The first issue at hand was the party and the drinking that McKenna had done. Cordelia had an idea of what that entailed, even though she had never participated in something like that, and more than likely never would if possible, and the fact that McKenna was embarrassed by it was enough to cause concern. Before she could say anything though, McKenna continued, and the next part slightly shocked Cordelia. She had definitely never expected to hear that McKenna, of all people, had actually slept with a boy. That seemed very unlike her. At the same time though, Cordelia wouldn’t have pegged her as the type to go to a party and drink either. It wasn’t like McKenna needed a reason to do those things, but it was different from how Cordelia knew her. People changed though, she was well aware of that, so maybe her friend wanted to try something new, and this is what ended up happening.

She wasn’t sure what to say. McKenna didn’t seem to understand either, and Cordelia felt bad that she couldn’t offer up an answer or explanation right away. It was a little beyond her. “You had s-s-s-s…” she couldn’t say it. How could McKenna say it that easily? Looking away for a second to take a breath before trying again. “S-so you s-s-slept with this boy…have you talked to him since?” she asked slowly. Cordelia figured that the only other person who could really explain what had happened that night would be the boy. Whether or not McKenna wanted to approach him again was a different story though. She had watched enough muggle films to know that. “D-don’t blame yourself though. It’s n-n-not your fault Kenna. I’ll help you figure it out.”

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McKenna shook her head sadly at the girl. "No...I haven't spoken to him. I don't even really remember what he looks like, Cordelia. I just know his name." More tears fell, and Kenny couldn't stop sniffling. She didn't know what to say to him, she didn't know how she'd even react to seeing the boy. This was so horrible...so not what she wanted. How would he react? What if he was some horrible person?

"You're very sweet, Cordelia. But I don't know what could be helped. I just...I'm scared. What if something happens?" McKenna wasn't sure if she would understand that she meant...well, what if she gets pregnant? She couldn't even remember the night, let alone if he had used any type of protection. It was her worst nightmare, and McKenna couldn't even imagine if anyone found out...especially her family.

[cordelia regan smith]

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It wasn’t exactly a shock that McKenna hadn’t spoken to this boy again since everything had happened. If Cordelia had been in that situation, and that was a big if because it was probably never going to happen any time soon (there were obvious reasons for this, and she tried to ignore them for the time being), she probably would have the same outcome as McKenna. At least she knew the name of the boy though, because that did make it easier at the end of the day. Cordelia was pretty bad with faces. She tried to not look at people directly because it made her nervous. It was disrespectful not to look others in the eyes when talking, she knew that, but avoiding eye contact also showed that she didn’t want to talk. The less she was stared at, the better off her speech was, so there were a few caveats to it. It was even better if the person she was talking too understood that, and let her get away with not making eye contact, at least until she was comfortable.

She didn’t respond right away, instead opting to continue to listen to McKenna. A small smile formed on her face as McKenna said she was sweet. Cordelia didn’t get too many personal compliments like that often. She was just being herself. Her work on the other hand, photographs and drawings, seemed to garner attention. All of that came natural to her though, unlike talking did. This change of pace was nice, and it felt good trying to help McKenna. But now she had to help, and feeling good about herself when her friend was confused about everything wasn’t the most thrilling thought. To add to that, Kenna’s comment about something possibly happening, caught Cordelia off guard more than the one earlier. She had never really thought about that. Now she kind of understood where her friend was coming from. There were both immediate and long-term things to think about. “If s-something happens I’ll still be here. I’ll help you.” Cordelia reached out for McKenna’s hand to show that she was being truthful, smiling in the process. “D-do you remember anything?”

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Cordelia's words shocked McKenna. She hadn't expected a reaction like that. Not that the girl would help her. And either way, if that did happen, she'd of course keep it. That would be so against her religion to do anything else. Even if it was conceived under the wrong way. More sobs escaped McKenna's lips, and she couldn't speak. She just shook her head at Cordelia. She felt disgusted with herself. Absolutely horrified that she had done what she did, and extremely disappointed. She knew she shouldn't have taken that drink from that boy. Otherwise she wouldn't be in this predicament. She wouldn't be scared, nervous, and breaking down every moment of every day.

"All I remember is...well, the party I went to in the Room of Requirement. And I remember dancing with my friends, and then I drank some water and it's all really a blur after that. I woke up in his bed and oh Cordelia I was so scared. I didn't know where I was!" Kenny wiped away her tears ferociously. She was angry with herself. She was smarter than this. She knew right from wrong and everything she had done last night was wrong. Having fun was not the way to go; it wasn't the thing to do. Kenny knew she should've just stayed in her dorm, in her bed, studying instead of going to a party. Then she would've been safe.

[cordelia regan smith]

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Had it not been for her extremely debilitating social skills and anxiety problems, Cordelia would have envisioned herself being an investigative reporter someday. She had the skills necessary to be a photographer, and it was starting to look like her calm, quiet demeanor was enough to win people over to say what they wanted. Being patient was a virtue, one that automatically came to her, even if she didn’t mean it to be like that, because of both her inability to talk to people at the drop of a hat, as well as the ability to take her time on her photographs and art pieces. Whatever the reason for that was, she was now applying those skills of patience and being able to ask questions without being threatening, and using the answers to piece together what exactly happened to McKenna on that fated night.

Cordelia had figured that watching and studying muggle film noirs would pay off someday, mainly for her photography, but not in this manner. Her brain, which functioned far better when she didn’t have to think about talking, did an extremely good job at constructing images as people explained things. McKenna’s story was no different, and Cordelia could picture a few different outcomes. First, the boy she had slept with gave her the drink she mentioned, she got drunk, forgot everything that happened, and ended up here. Second, someone else handed her the drink, it was something more than water, and had the same outcome. Third, the water she drank was something else, whether drugged or a potion. Those were the only obvious choices, and time and time again in films, people were drugged or poisoned and either died or couldn’t remember what happened. She could list off a number of potions that could make someone forget something from the night before. Heck, even some spells could do that. McKenna’s case was different though, she knew about what had happened before, and then what happened when she woke up the next morning. Wiping someone’s memory with a spell wasn’t that precise, at least not to her knowledge, and breaking it was even more dangerous.

In a way, what McKenna didn’t know seemed like a blessing and a curse; if she was subjected to a memory charm, forgetting was far better than getting it back, but also not knowing was a kind of torture that Cordelia couldn’t even imagine. If it wasn’t a spell, then that meant it had to be what she drank. “D-do you remember who gave you the water?” Cordelia figured that would determine who had intended to hurt her. She had a feeling there was no way McKenna would ever remember everything that had happened, but backtracking could possibly help ease her mind, or point her in the right direction. If all else failed, they could still talk to the boy or the school counselor. There was a possibility there was foul play.

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McKenna was a half-blood, but she had never actually see any muggle movies. There wasn't much of the muggle world that she learned quite often, other than religion. Maybe a few other things here and there but being a muggle and learning about those things weren't her favorite. She definitely preferred magic over almost anything. And while she hadn't seen any muggle movies, she did know different things that could've happened to her. That was obvious, no one needed to explain that. And yet...not being able to remember was the worst part of it all. Kenny wouldn't be able to tell you if it was alcohol, a spell, or a drug because she just couldn't.

Her eyes widened at Cordelia. McKenna hadn't even thought of that. His face immediately showed up in her head. McKenna tilted her head, looking past Cordelia into the fire, trying to remember his name. The snake on his robes stood out well with her, but his name...she wiped away the tears and sat up a bit more. There! "Yes, I do actually. Dom is his name I believe. He's a Slytherin. I think I've had classes with him before." Her eyes narrowed, anger bubbling up in her stomach. What was wrong with him? What had he given her?

[cordelia regan smith]

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Right as she finished asking whether or not McKenna knew who it was that had handed her the drink at the party, it was like a lightbulb had been turned on in her friend’s head. Actually, it was more like it was one of those lights with a string attached to it, and Cordelia’s words were the hand that yanked on that string. Hopefully now everything was going to start falling into place for McKenna. First, her eyes widened, and Cordelia knew that her friend had a clear picture of who this person was. That was good. It was another step to figuring out what actually happened that night. As McKenna wiped away the remaining tears on her face, Cordelia noticed the shift in her demeanor. She slowly nodded her head as McKenna said she knew who it was that had handed her the water, or what was to be assumed was water, and she knew the boy’s name, house, and she had had classes with him before. Cordelia knew that meant the boy McKenna had slept with probably wasn’t the main culprit; he still could have been associated with it in some way, but he hadn’t been the one to hand her the water. If this Dom chap had been the one to do everything on his own, who was to say that he had been planning something much more sinister?

Cordelia had to shake her head to get those thoughts out of her head. While her love for movies had helped so far, those thoughts were taking it to a new level. There had been something in the water, she was sure of it. The motive though, was a different story. “Could he have s-s-slipped something into it?” She didn’t want to make the assumption that Dom was a bad person just because he happened to be a Slytherin and the one to hand McKenna the water. Who was to say someone hadn’t done something to the drink before he had received it as well? There were too many hypotheticals that couldn’t be answered yet, and her mind was racing at a mile a second. She had never anticipated that not being able to sleep would end up allowing her to help McKenna when she was in a rough spot. “Is he friends with the boy you…” she trailed off, again becoming embarrassed by the whole “sleeping with” concept. “I-I’m s-s-sorry. I d-don’t want to keep bringing it back up, b-b-but…” Cordelia didn’t want to keep bringing it up to McKenna, especially because she was having a hard enough time as it was, but these were questions that had to be asked if she wanted to figure out what actually happened.

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McKenna nodded at Cordelia. Well, she was definitely a smart cookie, Kenny would give her that. It was quite obvious that he had done something to the drink. It was just the what that she was still mulling around in her brain. McKenna had absolutely no idea how to go about all this. She should probably either confront the boy that gave her the drink, or the boy she slept with. But the question was who first? What was the best bet for her to get the most information?

"Don't apologize, Cordelia, honest. It's alright. I'm okay with talking about it. I've got to if I want to get over it and live with it in the future, right?" She smiled. It wasn't a big smile, definitely slightly forced, but it was partially real all at the same time. Having Cordelia here to talk to was...wonderful to say the least. Kenna hadn't been sure in the first place who she was going to vent to, or speak with. She most likely would have gone to the Professors but then...that would've caused even more of a ruckus that she was not willing to work with. "I'm not sure if they're friends, Cordelia. I don't really know either of them that well."

[cordelia regan smith]

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Despite McKenna saying she was fine with talking about it, Cordelia was slightly hesitant to believe that. It was one thing to try and figure out what had happened, but if they couldn’t do that, there was no telling what McKenna would have to live with, especially if small humans were involved. She knew that there was an inevitable future for everyone where that was a possibility, but still being at school seemed a little too early for that. They were children themselves still, whether they wanted to admit that or not. The last thing Cordelia intended to do was to keep pulling that thought to the forefront of her friend’s thoughts. While McKenna was right in a sense, it was obvious that she also wanted to make sense of the whole thing, and accepting things as they were wasn’t enough, at least not for Cordelia. She nodded her head silently as McKenna told her not to apologize. She knew McKenna was still hurt because she wasn’t sure of what happened, but Cordelia could see the brave front she was putting on. There was definitely an effort to move on, yet want to find out what actually occurred at the same time.

McKenna then followed up with saying that she didn’t know if the Dom boy, the one that handed her the drink, and the one that she had slept with her were friends at all. That somewhat eased her mind, even if they weren’t sure if that was the case or not. There was a chance that whatever had been put in McKenna’s drink could have happened to other people as well, especially if McKenna hadn’t been an intended target for either of the boys. “W-what’s the name of the boy you w-woke up with? Did he know why you were there?” If it was assumed McKenna had been slipped something, and the boy had either targeted her specifically or had been drunk as well, there was a good chance he would know more. It was frustrating that all of her questions were leading down a road of hypothetical events that might not have actually happened.

As much of a chance that McKenna was slipped something, there was also the flipside that maybe she had gotten really drunk and couldn’t remember anything at all. They both resulted in the same outcome, but the reason she ended up there was going to be fuzzy until someone confirmed what had actually happened. Cordelia hated thinking this way, but without knowing enough information about that night, it was almost impossible to know. She was starting to feel awful stringing her friend down this path, in the freak chance that what they were talking about wasn’t actually how that night had gone down. For now though, it seemed like it was helping, and any help in a confused state was sure to better than none.

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"Um..." Her eyes shut for a moment. His face was in her brain, right there, she could see him. That was the first time McKenna had ever seen this boy, was in his bed. She wasn't sure why she had never had classes with him before, or why she didn't know him. But his name was evident. "Orion, is what he said. He didn't give a last name, and neither did I. But...he was angry." Her nose scrunched up and she wiped her cheeks, looking back to Cordelia. "He was snippy with me and annoyed. I don't know why, though." It was something that had been floating around for awhile. Why was he so rude?

"So no I don't think he knew why I was there. Unless he was angry that I was still there and hadn't left earlier...I have no idea. I just need to go see him. All I know is he's a Gryffindor." Not so much of a chivalrous Gryffindor, that was for sure. Kenna had her own anger against him, and she hadn't let him treat her that way. According to her, she hadn't done anything wrong and the way he had been acting was terrible. "Thank you for listening and trying to help, Cordelia. It means a lot to me."