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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 15, 2016 11:02:17 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 11:02:17 GMT -7
@jill9
Last night was the first time since she'd moved in that Magdalena and Nikolai didn't sleep in the same bed. Magdalena had locked herself in one of the guest bedrooms and cried herself to sleep. They'd figured out last night that she.... was pregnant. How, she didn't know. It'd just happened. And now.... Now they had to figure out what they were going to do. But last night... it'd hadn't been good. They'd both withdrawn from each other, which, for Magi made her feel even more alone, confused, and scared.
Magdalena didn't really sleep though. Not well at least. It felt more like zoning in and out. By the time the sun rose, she'd already been 'awake' for an hour, just staring at the ceiling. She hadn't moved in a while, despite shivering a little from the cold. She hadn't slept under the blankets and it was the middle of November, which meant the nights were getting colder. She closed her eyes, and let out a slow steady breath. At least she wasn't have a panic attack anymore. Finally she sat up, and her gaze dropped to her stomach, where she stared for a few moments. There was..... there was a tiny human trying to grow in there. She couldn't even see any differences! How was that possible? And yet everything was different. She might have started crying again if she hadn't already cried herself out. Slowly she crawled out of the bed, and left the room. The first thing she noticed was the master bedroom's door was open. They never left it open when they were in there, so Nikolai must not be in there. She shook her head, and went into the guest bathroom to wash the tears stains from her face. As she stared in the mirror though, it was pretty obvious she'd been crying. Her eyes were red. She could cover the redness, if she wanted. She had plenty of make up, but right now she just couldn't muster the strength to walk in the bedroom she shared with Nikolai, and headed down stairs to the kitchen. She wasn't hungry, and the thought of food still made her feel nauseous to be honest, but it'd been over twenty four hours since she last ate. She should at least take something. On the floor was the blanket she'd dropped the night before, when she'd fainted. She scooped it up immediately, wrapping it around her shoulders once more, grabbed a piece of bread, and went out onto the patio behind the house. She hadn't seen Nikolai so far, but she also wasn't looking, she'd kept her gaze downcast. She'd hurt him last night, when she'd pulled away from him. But it'd hurt her too when he'd refused to come near her.
She sat at the table on the patio, and pulled her legs up against her chest. She'd nibbled on the bread a bit, but she'd now discarded it on the table. Right now it tasted like cardboard and made her feel even worse. So, she just rested her forehead on her knees, closed her eyes, and let out another slow and deep breath.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 15, 2016 12:59:10 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 12:59:10 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 What a horrible night. He had woken up extremely early just to throw up, and then he had been fine. And then he wasn't fine, neither of them were fine, because Magdalena was pregnant. PREGNANT. She had a tiny human growing inside of her, half of him and half of herself, and Nikolai was scared as hell. A baby? What were they supposed to do with a baby? Yes Niko had been around them quite a bit but he hadn't held once since he was little, and they were all his sisters. Now he had to take care of one? This was not going to work out well.
Magdalena had ended up going upstairs by herself. Last night she had flinched away from him, and while Nikolai was sure she was just upset, he couldn't help but feel like there was some reasoning behind it. Some reason that Magi didn't want him touching her. Because he hurt her? They did the most passionate thing possible and now he put this baby inside of her and she hated him? She didn't want him around her anymore? It broke his heart, and it hurt his spirit about everything.
Nikolai hadn't moved from the chair on the couch. He hadn't fallen asleep, hadn't eaten, hadn't gone the bathroom. He just sat there, legs pulled up to his chest, staring at the spot that Magdalena had been sitting. Staring at the area where the cloud of smoke had been, writing up that word, pregnant. Niko didn't even move his eyes when he heard her coming down the stairs. He assumed she either left or went right into the kitchen, and he was curious. Nikolai finally stood up. His bones were stiff, everything was stiff. He stretched and let out a small groan. His feet slowly brought him over to the kitchen, where she wasn't, but he saw her through the patio doors. He walked closer and leaned against the wall, watching her.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 15, 2016 13:24:17 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 13:24:17 GMT -7
@jill9
Magdalena didn't know how long she sat there, her head against her knees. Again, just trying to figure out what they were supposed to do. God, what would his parents think? What would her brother think? She swallowed before she continued her next thought, which was.... What would her father think? What was happened... It'd affect both their families. And from what she'd heard about Nikolai's parents, they weren't the most supportive with him going his own way, and she was terrified of their reaction to finding out she was pregnant with Nikolai's child. How would it affect his career? And not only that, Magdalena didn't know what to expect. What was her body even doing? She didn't have any women in her life that could possibly help her through this...
Magi sniffled once more, even though no more tears fell. She just couldn't manage any more tears, even though she was still just as scared and confused as last night. Lifting her head she ran her fingers through her messy hair, and let out a breath. That was when she spotted movement out of the corner of her eye. To big for the dog or the cats. It could only be Nikolai. And despite still being upset about last night she still longed for him. She still loved him with all her heart, and nothing would change that. "Nikolai..?" She managed to say, and her voice cracked slightly with desperation, as if begging him to stop staying away.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 15, 2016 13:50:29 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 13:50:29 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 Nikolai felt pain as Magdalena spoke his name. It was so weird hearing her say it like that. So...broken and hurt. She wasn't crying anymore. But she definitely had been, that was obvious. Niko...hadn't cried. Not yet, anyways. He was in more of a state of shock and worry than he was upset. God, he'd need baby books. He'd need to learn everything possible about babies. He...he needed his mum.
Niko walked over to the other chair directly across from her. He let his hand brush her shoulder as he walked past and sat down, his eyes fixated on hers. "Magdalena." A small smirk appeared, but was quickly gone. It was like their first few meetings, so formal and just on a completely first name basis. He tilted his head. "Are you afraid of me?" This was when his voice cracked slightly. He didn't want that, he never wanted that.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 15, 2016 14:03:35 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 14:03:35 GMT -7
@jill9
Even though it lasted a moment, having his hand brush her shoulder did more to reassure her nerves than anything else. But then the contact was lost, and she felt hollow again. It was just like their first meetings, when the only time she'd felt right was when he was touching her. She swallowed as he moved to the other side of the table and sat down. Directly in front of her, but out of her current reach. Her eyes seemed to latch onto him the moment he came into view, never looking away. That smirk was just as reassuring as the brief contact, because it was normal, but then it was gone.... And she felt hollow again.
Magdalena's eyes widened at his question, and her legs dropped to the ground, so she could lean forward a bit. "No! Of course not!" She frantically said. Why would he think that? How could he? "I'd never be afraid of you, Nikolai." She finished, still just as desperate and shocked that he'd asked that. But... had she acted like that last night..? "I... I'm afraid of what's going to be happen. What we're supposed to do. I.... I don't know anything about babies, Nikolai." Babies, pregnancies, nothing. She'd already screwed up so much of her life already. What if.... what if she screwed this all up to?
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 15, 2016 14:22:10 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 14:22:10 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 Nikolai's expression didn't change as Magdalena freaked out and spoke. He wasn't sure if he believed her or not, only because of how she acted last night. Niko had been trying to be sweet, tried so hard to get her to calm down and relax and she just didn't have any of it.
"I don't know much about babies, either, Magdalena...but my mum does. She can help, okay? And, we can get books...and go to classes. We'll...we'll figure it out, Olli." His eyes had been resting on her shoes, but he now brought them back up to her eyes. "I want to keep it." That was where he stood, firmly on the situation. Yes, she was carrying the baby, he knew this. But it was still his child. And he didn't know where she stood on the subject.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 15, 2016 14:37:51 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 14:37:51 GMT -7
@jill9
Magdalena swallowed as he mentioned his mother being able to help. She hadn't even met the woman yet, how would Nikolai's mother react to the news? As he continued though, his words were comforting. They'd figure it out. He sounded so much more sure then her, more optimistic. She finally managed a small smile, and then a nod. As terrifying as it was, she wasn't alone. She might not know what to do, but at least Nikolai was here, willing to figure it out with her.
Her eyes never looked way from his, even when he'd looked away, but as he looked back and said those five words her eyes widened just a touch. He... wanted to keep it? Magi had considered abortion for only a fraction of a second last night, just long enough to realize that she couldn't get rid of the baby. "Me too..." She whispered softly.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 15, 2016 19:27:53 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 19:27:53 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 When she spoke, Nikolai felt the tears appear in his eyes. No matter how scared he was, how nervous he was, how...deathly afraid he was, those two words made him the happiest man right then. And he took in a deep breath, and got off the chair. Magdalena wasn't too far, but it felt like an eternity trying to get over to her. Nikolai kneeled in front of her, and wrapped his arms around her waist, letting his head rest against her chest. "I love you Magdalena. I love you so much...we're going to get through this, we will...I swear." A small sob escaped his lips, and he squeezed her slightly.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 15, 2016 21:45:06 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 21:45:06 GMT -7
@jill9
Nikolai was.... crying. Magdalena had seen him cry a few times, but it didn't come easy to him. Usually it went along with a step in his life. When he'd first let her touch him, having sex for the first time... There was always some bigger meaning to it, so when she saw the tears in her eyes it meant two things. One, she'd made the right decision and he was happy. And two, that they were taking a big step. Because carrying it to term, and keeping the child.... Well, it meant that she and Nikolai would forever be tied together. Obviously she loved him, and she didn't want to be with anyone else, but a baby meant there was more then just their feelings for each other. There was an actual link between them that couldn't be severed.
Her heart almost leaped into her throat when he stood up and finally closed the distance between them. As he arms went around her waist, hers went around his shoulder, and her forehead rested on the top of his head. This was singularly the best medicine for her nerves and fears. Just having him there finally. Because he made her feel stronger, and safe, and happy. She loved him, always would. And like he said, they'd get through this. "I love you too, Nikolai." She managed to say, her voice shaking still, but it was a little steadier.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 16, 2016 7:25:56 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2016 7:25:56 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 He felt her arms wrap around him and he sniffled. Niko hadn't meant to cry, but it just came out. It wasn't like he was upset they were keeping the baby, he was happy. That baby would come into a world where it's mother and father and family cared and loved it. That is what Nikolai thought was important. And he would make sure that baby would never come to any harm.
"Good...you really hurt me last night Magdalena..." His voice was quiet, but he knew it might not have been the right thing to say. Then again, what was in this situation? Relationships need honesty. This was his honesty.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 16, 2016 20:35:43 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2016 20:35:43 GMT -7
@jill9
Magdalena pursed her lips together and closed her eyes as he spoke, telling her that she'd hurt him last night. He didn't specify at what point, but she knew what he meant. When she'd pulled away. She had no explanation for it other then what she'd already told him, and that was she'd been scared. She still was. Absolutely terrified. But last night she'd taken that terror out on him. She shouldn't have, and she wished desperately she'd been.... at least a little more calm last night. Her arms tightened around his shoulders a little, as if afraid he might slip away if she wasn't careful. "I'm sorry..... I'm so, so sorry." She whispered, softly begging that he forgave her. She knew she couldn't do this without him. She needed him to forgive her, desperately. She needed him to help her figure out what was going on, and what was going to happen. Not only that... she didn't want to do any of it without him.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 17, 2016 14:44:07 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 17, 2016 14:44:07 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 Nikolai thought about last night more in the silence. He could've tried something else, but... With the way she was reacting to everything he said, it would've just ended up worse than him not saying anything. Niko knew Magi was in a tough spot, as was he, but they'd be able to do it. Nikolai knew they would. "We really need to figure out what we're going to do, Magdalena. And we need to get you to a healer to make sure everything is okay with you... And the baby."
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 18, 2016 13:19:03 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2016 13:19:03 GMT -7
@jill9
Magdalena swallowed when he mentioned a healer. For some reason all her common sense had been thrown out the window when they'd found out she was pregnant last night. She knew you had to visit healers for pregnancies. To make sure everything was okay. But it seemed like Nikolai's common sense hadn't escaped him. With her arms still around his shoulders, she turned her head, so her forehead was resting against the top of his own, and closed her eyes. "What.... what do we need to do first..?" She asked softly, not raising her head or moving. What did people normally do when they found this out? What... What were the steps they needed to take now?
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 18, 2016 14:06:45 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2016 14:06:45 GMT -7
@magdalena <3 Nikolai sighed quietly when he felt her forehead against his. He also closed his eyes for a moment, but he opened them again and leaned backwards, looking into her eyes. There was a ton they had to do...but he knew they'd be okay. Mentally, probably a lot more difficult than expected. But financially, they'd be fine. "Well...we need to go to the healer, or have a healer come here if you'd be more comfortable with that." Nikolai had a few friends that he was sure could get him a healer to come to the house for him.
"And you need a job. Unless...unless you'd rather watch the baby and stay home." Niko wanted to give her the option. He made plenty of money, and even if he switched to healing, he'd still make good money. He already owned a house, with two extra bedrooms. They'd get as much help as they could from his family he was sure, but he didn't want to force Magdalena to work if she wanted to stay home with their child.
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last online Mar 28, 2024 23:47:58 GMT -7
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Sept 18, 2016 16:17:53 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2016 16:17:53 GMT -7
@jill9
Nikolai pulled away a bit, just enough to look at her. She opened her eyes to meet his gaze. Okay, healer first. She slowly nodded. She was still terrified. Absolutely terrified. And nauseous, but that wasn't anything new. As long as she ad Nikolai took this one step at a time though... Well, they'd be okay. They'd figure it out, and they'd be fine. She... couldn't be that far along either, a healer could give them a more exact time, but it still gave them plenty of time to... prepare. "It might be a little early for a healer..." She finally mentioned. She didn't mean how far she was along, but more like the time of day. The sun was still rising, and the hour early.
A job. Magdalena's heart nearly jumped into her throat. Because that was a topic they avoided like the plague. Because technically, she still worked at the Club. She hadn't been able to find anything else yet. Nikolai knew this, and she knew he absolutely hated it. To avoid fighting though they didn't talk about it. But... He was talking more long term. Work or.... raise... the baby. Her eyes went wide. Extremely wide. Now that was freaking her out, thinking that far down the line. "I.... I don't know..." She hesitantly whispered. Talking about... about when the baby was born was.... she wasn't ready, not ye. The idea of being pregnant was still setting in, she didn't know if she could handle the realization of being a mother too!
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