breathe me [james]

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Natalia had spent the last hour in Defense Against the Dark Arts class, listening to the professor lecture about Unforgiveable Curses and trying not to flinch every time he said the name of the curse that had been used against her. It hadn't been easy, and she was sure that she had slipped up once or twice, but no one else noticed. Having a reputation as a maybe-murderer was good for getting people to stop noticing you, especially when you had been absent from school for a month. Nat had been grateful to be able to get out of the classroom, but even when she was gone, the ghost of the lecture wrapped around her like a cold cloak. She couldn't shake the feeling that she had lost something, but she didn't know what. Nat didn't know how long it had been since she had spoken to anyone other than the eagle knocker on the Ravenclaw common room's door, but it wasn't like there was anyone she could talk to. Not about this. Nat sighed, and wrapped her real cloak tighter around her shoulders. It didn't help the chill at all, and it just made her feel small. Nat wasn't sure why she was trying anymore. It was done. She was done.

@jams

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Things weren't exactly great at the moment. James was feeling a little bit of post traumatic stress disorder from when he had discovered the young girl's body on the train. For a while, it had felt like that hadn't happened. He had Natalia, so he was able to forget about that horrific experience for a while when he was with her. She made him happy again. He didn't need multiple girls to make him feel something anymore. James had felt whole. That was, until Natalia and her sister were pulled out of school. James couldn't owl her. He could go see her. He had no way of knowing whether or not she was safe. How was he supposed to know? Rumors were flying all around school that Nat was the killer and now James was angrier than ever. He had snapped at close friends more than once. He had gotten into a fight with Alice. Things were not good.

But she was back. He hadn't seen her yet, but he knew she was back.

James had heard through the grapevine that Natalia was back at school and he had seen her sister in the common room with Phil Longbottom. So, naturally, James had spent every free moment he had that morning searching madly for the brunette. It had been a few class periods until he had finally found her, and when he did he dropped his bag that had been slung over his shoulder to the floor as he came practically running at her, then wrapped his arms around her so tightly in what was probably the most needed hug he had ever had in his life. "I'm so glad you're back."

@natalia
YEEE!!

[Deleted]

Natalia didn’t know what was happening. One moment, she had been alone and feeling extremely small, and the next moment, someone’s arms were wrapped around her, and she felt even smaller. Nat couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched her, other than to hurt her, and she let out a small whimper, fighting her way out of the arms of her captor so she could see who it was. James. No, no, no. The muscles in Natalia’s body began to tighten, and she shook her head slightly. She couldn’t let her father hurt James. She couldn’t. “P-please.” She stuttered out, curling her hands into fists as she tried her best not to look at James. How could she explain this? She couldn’t. “G-go away.” If he heard about this, they were both going to be in so much trouble. Nat’s breaths were coming out shakier and shakier, and she couldn’t find a way to steady them. She was shivering, both from the fear and the deep, exhausting cold that still hadn’t left her. If she could keep him away, if she could keep everyone away, then things would be better. Her father couldn’t hurt anyone the way he hurt her.

@jams

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The reaction James got from Natalia had not been the one he was expecting, so naturally, he was left with a look of dumbstruck confusion and worry on his face. As he held her, he pulled back, feeling Nat's body tighten as she shook her head. She wasn't looking at him. "Hey, hey," he spoke gently, trying to move his face into her line of vision. One hand moved down to gently grasp one of her fists and the other gently on her chin to move her head slowly to look at him. Her reaction seemed... different, out of character. And it worried James. "Nat, what's wrong?" He asked seriously, but softly. "What happened?" If someone were to ever lay so much as a finger on her... well, James had never thought he would be capable of hurting someone before...

@natalia

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Her refusal had hurt James, and that just made Natalia ache further. She should have known better than to drag him into her life, to take someone like him who was good and stain him with everything that she was. His hand around her first was warm, and while Nat’s first temptation was to relax, she just clenched harder. When James moved her chin upwards, she allowed her face to be moved, but she still didn’t look James in the eyes. The Gryffindor asked her what was wrong, what had happened, and the Ravenclaw had to take a moment before she could answer. “H-he found out.” Her father, she meant, though Nat couldn’t bring herself to think of the man’s name, let alone say it. “And he…” There weren’t words for what he did, beyond torture, and Natalia didn’t want to drag James into this and sully him further. “He cursed me.” She danced around the words she wanted to say, but if that information, combined with her less-than-stellar mental state, weren’t enough to tip James off, Natalia didn’t know if anything short of telling him outright would work, and she couldn’t bear to do that.

@jams

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James could feel Natalia clench up, and when she didn't make eye contact with him, the look of worry on his face grew more evident. "He found out," she finally said and Nat didn't need to explain for James to know what that meant. James knew his dating a Lestrange was going to be messy. People were going to talk. But he never would have expect Natalia's family to get horridly upset over it. And he hated himself for being wrong. When her final words left her lips, James felt his whole body freeze up. It was a brief moment before he found the will to move slightly away from Natalia to look her in the eye; his hands moved to her shoulders in a consoling way though he felt angrier than he ever had in his life. "He cursed you?" James repeated, the anger much more clear in his tone though he remained quiet so as to stay private. "Natalia - I," James dropped his arms to his sides and his hands formed fists. He didn't know what to do, short of going and finding her father and killing him. But James knew that wouldn't help her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm down and when he reopened his eyes, he looked at the girl he loved and felt sad. She had been hurting, and James needed to be there for her. "Nat, I'm so, so sorry," slowly, and much more calmly, James moved close to her and gently wrapped his arms around the brunette, pulling her close to him in a warm embrace.

@natalia

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It was strange, when you were close to someone, how you could feel them move even if you weren’t looking at them. And even though Nat didn’t want to see James’s face when he realized what it meant when she said she had been cursed, she felt what it meant to him. She felt him stiffen, and felt even worse for being the one to make him feel that way. Natalia nodded slowly when James repeated what she had said. “Please…don’t tell anyone.” She said quietly. People already talked enough about her without rumors that her father had tortured her spreading. She hadn’t even told Andromeda, or Nikolaj. James started to say something, but stopped. Natalia wasn’t sure what to expect from him, what he was going to do or say. She hadn’t expected, however, for him to hug her. Well, maybe she had expected a hug, but nothing like this. It was soft and it was warm, and she didn’t feel breakable anymore. She didn't feel like a girl who had been tortured. She felt cherished, and loved, and… “I love you, James.” Nat whispered into his chest, half-hoping that he hadn’t heard her.

@jams

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When the words had first left Natalia's mouth, James had found himself wanting to march out of Hogwarts at that instant and find Natalia's father and just do the worst to him. But now that Natalia was in his arms, he felt all his anger go away. He wanted to protect her, but what was done was done, and now he just had to be there for her. And if he could help, he was never going to let anything like that happen to her again. As he hugged her close, his left hand moved up to gently hold onto the back of her head as she leaned into his chest. "I won't tell anyone, Nat," he whispered. "I promise." Then he heard three little words escape the brunette's lips and for a split second, James felt his eyebrows raise but they quickly fell back into a relaxed position as a small smile crept up on his face. His arms tightened only slightly around Natalia and he leaned his own head down by hers. "I love you, too," he whispered just as quietly.

@natalia
help

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James promised not to tell anyone, and Natalia let out a long, soft sigh. She believed him. She trusted him, more importantly. There weren’t many people that she could say that about. “Thank you.” She whispered when James had finished with her promise. He probably didn’t need her thanks, but she wanted him to know how much it meant to her. His arms tightened around her, and it was only then that Natalia understood the gravity of the situation. She’d never told anyone outside her family that she loved them before. She wasn’t even sure she’d told Andromeda that before. Even stranger than that was being told that she was loved in return. It felt…strange, but the good kind of strange. With that sunning revelation out of the way, Natalia had another one: they were in the middle of a corridor. And their classes were going to start soon. “I should – get to class.” She said quietly, though she didn’t move to be away from James. She was going to hold onto his warmth, and this moment, for as long as she could.

@jams