I Can't Breathe Without You, But I Have To (Oscar)

[Deleted]

Anna was alone in the Room of Requirement, studying. Her friends probably thought she was off with Oscar, which she really would rather be doing right now, but the First Task was going to take place tomorrow and Oscar was ... busy. Or something. Really, she wasn't sure. She hadn't seen him today. Honestly, she hadn't really seen anyone today. She'd spent most of the day in this room, studying. When she entered the room this morning after a very light breakfast of toast, she asked it to keep everyone out except Oscar. The thing was, she hadn't told him she was coming here so the chances of him showing up were ... infinitesimal. By now, she was wishing she had told him. Maybe he would be able to pull her out of this room. Get her to eat something. She knew she should go eat, but she couldn't pull herself away from all the books the Room of Requirement was providing. What if one of these books contained exactly what she was going to need tomorrow? She couldn't just leave.

She was standing, squinting at a bunch of a books lined up on one of the shelves when it happened. Suddenly, an intense wave of fear rushed over her. The room started spinning and Anna felt like she was going to throw up. Her whole body was quivering, and she was somehow so afraid that she couldn't catch her breath. Her heart was pounding so loudly she thought it would come out of her chest and pains shot down her legs. Before she really knew what was happening, Anna found herself on the floor, still shaking uncontrollably and hardly able to breathe. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she gasped for breath and she felt her stomach heave uncontrollably. She couldn't feel her legs, so she reached down with her arms and curled into the fetal position, rocking back and forth repeatedly. She didn't understand what was happening to her and was scared by that fact. In fact, there was only one thought that could pierce through the intense, debilitating fear. She clung onto it as long as she could and before she felt herself give in completely to the overwhelming waves of terror, she whispered it out loud. "Oscar."

@oscar

[Deleted]

The First Task was the next day, and Oscar was scared. The Triwizard Tournament was notorious for being dangerous, and the one person he loved was going to be risking her life for the first time the next day. Oscar knew he ought to have faith in Anna, but there were some times when fear was more important than faith, and this was one of those times. Oscar needed someplace to relax, and the carriage was not going to be that place. Everyone was busy preparing for the Tournament the next day, and Ozzy had seen red when he had heard two of the students in his delegation join a betting pool, betting against Anna. No one had noticed that he had stormed out in a huff, which was probably for the better, but there was still quite a bit of anger churning in his stomach as he stalked through the Hogwarts hallways. Part of it was still unresolved anger about Caden’s death, but most of it was defensiveness of Anna and the fact that anyone would hope for her do poorly.

He had stopped briefly at the third floor corridor, but then continued upwards to the Room of Requirement. Oscar didn’t want to run into any other student, Hogwarts or otherwise, because he would just end up snapping at them. Instead, he paced outside the room. I need some place to calm down, I need some place to calm down, I need some place to calm down… Oscar was relieved to find a door in the wall where there was none before, but when he stepped inside, that relief morphed into horror. Anna was lying on the floor in the fetal position, tears streaking her cheeks and looking absolutely terrified. “Anna?” Oscar knelt down beside her, hesitating before reaching out to touch her hair. “Anna, are you okay?”

@annelise

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Anna was broken. She couldn't see through her fear, couldn't find a way to make it go away and at the same time she couldn't focus on anything else. Why was she so scared all of a sudden? Was she losing her mind? She couldn't even remember what started the whole thing. As she rocked back and forth, Anna lost all sense of her surroundings. She forgot where she was and why; nothing was important to her anymore except for trying to calm down. But how was she supposed to do that when she didn't even know what started this in the first place? Anna's mind cycled through these thoughts repeatedly as she rocked back and forth, still sobbing and gasping for breath as her heart continued to pound faster than she imagined it could. She didn't even notice when Oscar entered the room and started speaking to her, touching her gently. She was too overcome by the fear, too trapped in her mind to be able to respond to him, even if she wanted to.

@oscar 

[Deleted]

Something was definitely not right. It didn’t take a genius to see that. Anna didn’t even respond to her name, nor did she respond to Oscar touching her hair, either. She just kept rocking back and forth, back and forth. “Anna.” He repeated, adjusting his positioning so he was sitting with his legs crossed, his lap right next to her head. “Anna, it is okay.” Oscar didn’t have a clue what was wrong, but he assumed that it was something about the Task that was happening the next day. He continued to comb his hands through her hair. “Everything will be okay.” Oscar’s voice was soft and soothing as he tried to think of something, anything, that would help Anna calm down. He had never experienced anything like this before, so his default reaction was just to continue what he was doing until a better plan came to mind.

@annelise

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Anna didn't know how long it took for her to recognize that she wasn't alone anymore. Really, she was too caught up in her emotions-the terror, to be accurate- to notice anything that was going on around her. Except ... that voice. That beloved, familiar voice was the one thing that finally penetrated through her fear. She still couldn't stop the crying, the gasping for air and the rocking, but knowing that he was there gave her hope. At least she wouldn't have to try and figure out how to stop this on her own. "Osc-" she tried to say his name, but she was shaking so hard she couldn't get it out of her throat. "Os-" Anna tried again, but got even less of his name out that time. Searching for more strength, she focused her mind on her right hand and forcing it to release her knees. She was still rocking, still sobbing, but her hand was searching for his when she finally got some words out. "Ozzy," she'd never called him that before, but for some strange reason it was easier than saying "Oscar". "Help me," she breathed, hoping he would take her hand and pull her into his arms. She couldn't get her eyes to open, but she needed to be closer to him right now and desperately hoped his soul would realize what she needed.

@oscar

[Deleted]

Anna seemed to have found her voice, which made Oscar feel slightly better. What didn’t make him feel better was the fact that she couldn’t seem to get his name out. It was only five letters, two syllables, yet it seemed like the hardest thing for her to say. Oscar took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, when she said something that…was his name, but not his name. Ozzy. Everyone who wasn’t his family and Caden had always called him by his given name, and his blood ran cold at the sound of her using his nickname. This wasn’t about him, though, and Oscar ignored his own reaction in favor of Anna’s feelings. She was asking him to help her, and he couldn’t say no to her. It took some doing, but Oscar managed to drag Anna into his lap, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and cradling her against his chest. “I will always help you.” Oscar promised, continuing to rock Anna back and forth. “It is okay, Anna.” He continued, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. “Mamour, it will be okay. Everything will be okay.” Anna’s skin felt clammy, but Oscar didn’t want to risk disturbing her by Summoning a blanket. He hoped that his body heat would be enough to help warm her at least a little.

@annelise

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She heard his voice again and before she really knew what was happening, she was surrounded by warmth. Oscar. He must have done just what she wanted. She felt him wrap his arms around her, pull her into his chest and she slowly felt her body start to relax as he rocked her back and forth. Her free hand grabbed the front of his shirt and she finally had enough control that she could turn her head. She buried her face in his chest. She was still shaking hard, but the sobbing was dying down, to her relief. Somehow, being so close to him was calming her and driving the fear away, little by little. She felt him kiss the top of her head and heard him say that he would always help her, that everything would be okay and she believed him. "Oscar," she breathed against his chest, finally calming down enough that she could say his name. She didn't really have anything else to say at the moment. All she wanted was to stay right where she was, to have him help her calm down. She felt her muscles ache as they started to relax and her breathing started to come easier. "Thank you," she whispered over and over, not able to think of anything else to say as she was finally coming to herself. What happened to her?

@oscar

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Oscar didn’t know why or how, but Anna seemed to be calming down, and Ozzy realized that he was calming down, too. Sometime in between when he had entered the room and when Anna had said his name Oscar had started to worry, enough that his heart rate had sped up considerably. Now that his heart was no longer pounding in his chest and Anna seemed to be getting better – she managed to get out his whole name this time, not just the diminutive – Oscar felt better. Anna still felt cold to the touch, but considered how intertwined their bodies were – her head against his chest, her hand curled around a fistful of his shirt – Oscar was confident that body heat would indeed be enough to keep her from getting any colder. “There is no need for thanks, mamour.” Oscar murmured. “You need help, and I help you. I need help, and you help me. That is the way we are.” She had helped him when he had come home from France, so why would he not help her now? “Do you want to talk about what is wrong?” He offered softly. Sometimes that helped, but sometimes it didn’t, and Oscar wanted to leave the choice up to Anna.

@annelise

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"O-okay," Anna said, still shivering when Oscar said that she didn't need to thank him. She understood what he meant, but it still didn't feel right. Sure, she helped him the other day, but he hadn't been in the middle of a meltdown like she was. But she didn't want to fight with him. Actually, she couldn't fight with him right now. She didn't have the energy to and she had no desire to argue with the person that was bringing her back from whatever happened. 

Anna was taking deep breaths now, focusing on Oscar's heartbeat to give her a rhythm to breathe to. It seemed to be helping, which was definitely a good thing. She was still shivering, but at least the crying stopped. She could handle this, things were getting better. She would be fine. Then he asked her what happened and Anna felt the fear start to rise within her again, against her will. Her hand tightened around his shirt even more and her pulse started racing as she started shaking more fiercely once more. She pulled her head out of his chest so she could look at him, her eyes wide and frightened. "I d-dont know w-what's wrong, Osc-car," she told him frantically as she realized she was losing the battle against the fear, no matter how hard she tried to fight against it. "I don't know what's h-h-happening to me!"

@oscar

[Deleted]

This was the Room of Requirement, and Oscar required a blanket, so why on earth couldn’t he see any? Oscar shifted slightly, putting his hand on his wand and praying that his nonverbal spellcasting had improved since the last time he had practiced with Anna. He thought the summoning spell, hoping that a blanket would come to him to help combat Anna’s shivering. Luckily enough – or maybe it wasn’t luck, but the room’s magic – one flew to his hand, and Oscar wasted no time in spreading the blanket out, half around Anna and half around his own shoulders, since she was clinging so tightly to him. Oscar had thought she was getting calmer, but apparently she wasn’t, because panic was once again threatening to overwhelm Anna’s voice. “Shh, mamour, shh…” Oscar said, tangling his fingers in her hair. He didn't know what was happening either, but he did know that Anna needed someone else to be calm when she couldn't.“It will be okay.” The way Anna was positioned made it awkward, but Oscar bent his head so that he could look her in the eyes. “I will keep you safe.” Without thinking, Oscar moved his head so there was no space in between their lips. The kiss was quick and soft, and definitely another moment of weakness, but he couldn’t seem to care. “I will keep you safe.” He repeated softly.

@annelise

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He had a blanket. Where did he get a blanket from? Anna wondered about it for a moment, but then she decided she didn't care. The warmth was fabulous and she loved it, even after just a few moments. Her heart was pounding and she felt herself going back into the void of freaking out, but Oscar was ... running his fingers through her hair? She shivered, but this time it had nothing to do with the fear or the nerves. She still felt the nervousness, the anxiety, but Oscar was giving her something different to focus on and she was going to take it. He looked in her eyes, telling her that he would keep her safe before he kissed her. He kissed her again! It was probably just to try and help her calm down- though why he would think that would help her calm down was beyond her- but she didn't care. Far too soon, after just an instant, he pulled away, repeating that he would keep her safe. Anna was stunned- delightfully stunned- by the kiss and by the fact that the fear was gone. "Prove it," she breathed before she finally released his shirt and moved her hand up to his cheek, pulling his face down so she could kiss him. Did he want her to? Probably not, but Anna didn't care at that moment. He initiated it, after all, and so she kissed him. Even though she had no idea what she was doing, even though she'd never done anything like this before. Heck, this was her second, no third kiss ever and she was instigating it! 

@oscar

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When Anna next spoke, her voice didn’t shake, and she didn’t stutter. Oscar was so caught up in that that he almost didn’t recognize the words that she had said. It was only when Anna was kissing him that he realized that she had challenged him to prove that he could keep her safe. But she was kissing him, and Oscar was confused. She hadn’t liked the time she had kissed them when they were dancing, and now she was starting it, and it was really, really nice. Anna lacked finesse, but Oscar didn’t care. She was kissing him, voluntarily, and even if it was because she was panicking and he was a warm body, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. The blanket slipped off his shoulders and onto the floor, and still, Oscar kissed Anna. He only broke away when he needed to breathe, and he could barely look Anna in the eyes then. “I am confused.” He murmured to himself. Then, to Anna, “Do you feel better?”

@annelise

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Oscar was kissing her back and all was right with the world. Anna felt guilty for forcing it on him (sort of), but he could pull away anytime he wanted to, right? Still, he was kissing her back and that was all she wanted. She didn't really need him to prove that he would keep her safe, because during these moments with him it felt like the only safe place was with Oscar. It was the one place she wanted to be. The blanket fell off of him, well, off of them, but Anna didn't need it anymore. She didn't feel cold when she was so close to him. It was in those moments that Anna's feelings for Oscar were reaffirmed. She cared for him. If she thought there was even the chance he might feel something back, she might allow herself to think of the "l" word, but she knew that was an impossibility. To him they were friends, but he made his feelings for her obvious the night he taught her to dance. The fact that she felt more than mere friendship for him ... well, her feelings were solidified. No need to wonder about that.

Eventually he was the one to pull away. Anna heard him mutter something to himself, but she couldn't quite catch it. What she did notice was how he was hardly looking at her and her heart fell to the pit of her stomach as she felt herself come back to reality. No, she wasn't anxious anymore, but she just realized what she did. Was her kiss going to ruin their friendship? After all, she knew from the last time that this wasn't what he wanted. She couldn't stand to see him look at her like that, so she turned her head away, realizing in the process that she was still in his arms. At his question, however, she turned to look at him. "I do," Anna wanted to thank him, but the last time she tried to, he told her she had nothing to thank him for so she racked her brain for something else she could say to him. "How- how did you know? How did you find me?" She asked, unable to stop her curiosity even though her voice shook a little at the memory of what happened. How did he know that she needed him? She tried to sit up so she could move off him, not wanting to make him feel more uncomfortable, since she didn't know how long he'd been holding her like that. His legs were probably asleep or something.

@oscar

[Deleted]

Everything was so strange, and Oscar didn’t know what to do. Now was not the right time to be talking about kisses, or about a relationship. There never seemed to be a right time, though, between his friends dying and her being the Champion, and everything else they both had to deal with. That was frustrating for Oscar, because now all he really wanted to do was confirm whether or not Anna loved him. Because that word was beginning to creep into his head more and more with every hour he spent with her, and he didn’t want to live with not knowing. He was distracted from his thoughts when Anna asked how he knew she was there. The truth was, he hadn’t known, but he didn’t know how to tell her that. A small lie wasn’t going to hurt either of them. “I always know when you are in trouble.” Oscar cleared his throat, and he grabbed for the blanket, pulling it over both of them even if he didn’t think it was strictly necessary. It gave him more time to think. “And I will always find you.” Really, he had never specifically answered her question, so it wasn’t even that much of a lie. He did always know when she was in trouble, after he had found her, and he would always eventually find her, because Oscar wouldn’t ever stop looking. Anna tried to sit up, and Oscar’s first reflex was to squeeze her closer to keep her from moving. Realizing that was a rather childish response, Oscar released his grip. Anna could do what she wanted.

@annelise

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Oscar said that he always knew when she was in trouble as he draped a blanket over the two of them and Anna shivered slightly. She liked the idea that he was so aware of her and her needs. It was comforting to think that he would be there to help her, too. Not that she ever doubted them. Since the moment they'd started becoming closer friends it seemed like they were both there for one another. At least it wasn't a one-sided thing.

All thoughts of pulling away from him left Anna's mind the moment he said that he would always find her. He loosened his arms, which was a good thing, because it let Anna do what she wanted. She turned and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug whether he wanted it or not. She laid her head on his shoulder and took a few deep breaths. "I'm so glad," she whispered, not doubting his claim for an instant. She didn't know how he'd known she needed help, how he'd even found her, but after what just happened she had no problem believing that he just knew. Her thoughts took a darker turn and she shuddered, "What would have happened if you couldn't come?" Her voice was hardly louder than a whisper, but she was still hugging him, so she was sure he would be able to hear her.

@oscar