To all the girls I've loved before (Natalia)

[Deleted]

@natalia,

It is strange not to see your face at Hogwarts now. I know that we didn't see each other that much anyway, but I still feel an emptiness when I can't find you in the Halls. I wish that we had been closer while you were here. That we could have spent more time studying together, and helping each other out with things going on in our lives.

I hope everything is going well with the healing training? I don't know if I mentioned this to you yet, but I'm actually thinking of going into that same field. At least that is what I told Madame McMillan when we had our meeting about it. I hope you don't mind. It would be interesting to work together, wouldn't it? I am sure you are already very proficient at it and are probably the best in your group. I wouldn't be surprised, you are always the best. And I admire you for that.

How are things with James? I hope that you are happy, you deserve happiness, more than anyone that I know. Especially me. Anyway, please write back soon, I... miss you.

-

Andromeda

[Deleted]

dear andromeda,

It's strange for me not to see you, too. It’s odd, the number of people that pass by me in the hospital that I think I know, only to turn around and see that they were utter strangers. If you need help studying, or with things going on in your life, I’m still here for you. I didn’t know whether or not you’d want a letter from me, since you’re probably getting quite a few from Phil, but I promise that when you write, I’ll never not answer. (Double negatives are disgusting, but I felt that had more power than ‘I’ll always answer’.)

Healing training is going well, or at least as well as it can. I really enjoy working in the poisoning unit – it’s so much more exciting than the other ones because you have to move so much faster. It keeps my brain busy, and that’s what I need. As for you being a healer – I’m excited for you! I hope that you find as much joy in it as I do, and I’ll love introducing all of my co-workers to my baby sister.

Things are going excellently with James. He taught me how to cook. Can you imagine that – me, cooking? It was only pizza, but it was so strange.

Andromeda Karina Lestrange, you take that back right now. You deserve happiness just as much as me, if not more. You deserve the world, Andy. It’s just that the people who love you are having a hard time trying to find a way to give it to you. Whatever’s going on to make you believe you don’t deserve to be happy…if you want to talk, I’m here. I miss you. I love you.

love,
natalia

@lestrange

[Deleted]

@natalia,

There are a lot of strangers out there, aren't there? Not that I have many friends here, but I'm not sure how I feel about not being able to recognize the faces that I see. I'm sure it's not as frightening as I picture though. At least, I hope not.

Hannah has been helping me a lot with looking into healing and studying for it. Tell me, what aspect of the field has been the hardest for you? I'm sure that whatever is hard for you will be equally as, if not harder, for me. Haha, you've always been so quick to learn though. I'd like to think we share that trait.

I do get quite a lot of letters from Phil, that's true. But I'm happy to write you as well. I think I needed to write you. Needed this. I don't mind the double negative. My whole life feels like a double negative sometimes. But, I just hope all this negative can equal a positive one day. Not that I'm not happy, I am. I'm just a little lost.

The poisoning unit! That does sound it would like it would be a lot of high urgency and intense situations. I'm glad that you can keep a level head in things like that. Thank you, I would love to be able to work with you someday. Granted, I'm not sure how the head healers would feel about me being called 'baby sister' around the hospital. Hahaha, oddly enough I don't mind it though.

James taught you how to cook pizza? That sounds like it was a fun time. Maybe you guys can make some for me and Phil when he gets back, a double date sort of thing. That would be really fun! Phil would like that.

I've just been thinking about Nik. I don't know what to do about him. He's our brother, and I don't like hating him so much. It's so hard not to. So hard. At least I have you. I love you, too. It's such a relief to be able to say that now, and not be so distant from you. At least not in that way. I don't feel like you're far though, I know you to come if I needed you too. I'd do the same for you.

Love,

Andromeda

[Deleted]

dear andromeda,

Strangers are only friends you haven’t met yet, right? James keeps telling me something like that, but I don’t think I’m at the best at making friends, especially not out of complete strangers. My social circle consists mostly of James, his friends, and the people I work with. That sounds pretty pathetic, doesn’t it? I’m becoming one of those girls who becomes nothing more than her boyfriend’s arm candy. I need to start trying harder to make new friends, I guess.

The hardest part about healing, I think, is the sheer amount of memorization involved. There are so many illnesses and cures and procedures and you have to know all of them, or something awful will happen. I made a lot of flashcards – I can send them to you, if you’d like. I don’t need them anymore, since I’ve learned everything. Trust me, it’s easy as long as you care enough to put effort into it. The only people who do poorly are the ones who don’t try.

I’m certain that it will become a positive one day, Andy. We’re better off now than we were a year ago, aren’t we? It’s okay to be lost, my dear. Just let people help to find you. Neville and Hannah are wonderful people, and Phil and Jayden are, too. Let them help you. Let me help you, as much as I can this far away.

Honestly, I think the Head Healers are still a little bit apprehensive of me and my name. The Head Healer for Spell Damage left not long after I arrived at the hospital. I’m sure it was completely unrelated, but I couldn’t help but think…In any case, you will always be my baby sister, until the day one of us dies – which hopefully won’t be for a very long time yet.

I don’t think you’d want to eat my pizza just yet. It was only palatable because James kept fixing all of my mistakes. But a double date sounds fun. Maybe you can take a weekend off of school when he comes back from Brazil? We’d need to find a place to do it, of course. Nik would let us have the Hog’s Head, I’m sure, but it’s not exactly a romantic locale.

I know I’m absolutely biased here, but I think you should talk to Nik. It would be nice, to know that all three of us are talking again. We could be almost like a real family. And I know I shouldn’t want that, since our adoptive family is so amazing, but I’m selfish. Have a nice day at school, dear. Let me know what you decide about Nik.

love,
natalia

@lestrange

[Deleted]

@natalia,

I guess that could be true. I don't know... I'm not the best at making friends either, Nat. I'm glad that with have James and Phil to help us out with that. They're both so outgoing. It doesn't sound pathetic, no. I'm sure that my friend circles are even smaller, hah. I don't see anything wrong with focusing on your boyfriend. I mean, if you get married he's yours for life, right? So you may as well get used to him.

Hmm, that's actually good to hear! I have a lot of practice with memorization because of my music. I'd love to review your flash cards! Please feel free to send them.

Yes, I suppose we are better off now then we were. I know the Longbottoms have been amazing... I'm just glad we have them. And that i have you, of course. BUt I don't know how to get help. I mean, to even ask for it.

Have you thought about changing your last name to Longbottom? Or does it seem like a waste of time at this point?

I'm sure we will live longer yet, Nat. I hope so. It would be great to spend some time together with Phil and James! I wouldn't like to subject Phil to Nik. So, I won't be going with the Hogs Head idea...

I have talked to him recently. It didn't go well.

Love,

@lestrange

[Deleted]

dear andromeda,

Married? Me? James Potter? Natalia Potter? That just sounds weird, like I’m the heroine of some novel. I mean, I’ve always seen my future with James, but I never thought about it like that, I guess. At least I don’t sound pathetic. I hate being pathetic, but you knew that already.

I didn’t send the flashcards with this owl, because there’s a lot of them and I didn’t want to hurt the poor thing, but look for a package soon! I put something else in there, just as a little pick-me-up, since I have my own money and everything now.

I understand that, sadly enough. And I wish I could give you an answer as to how to ask for it, but I don’t think I ever figured that out. People just kept shoving help on me until I had no choice but to accept it.

I don’t think I could ever change my last name, short of marriage. I hate our parents, but I’m still a Lestrange. I can’t change that just by changing my name. Besides, I still want to be Nik’s sister, you know? And until I can get a better read on where James stands on this whole marriage thing, I don’t want to rush into anything that I might regret in the future.

Oh no! If you ever want to talk to someone about Nik, I’m here. I know that I’ve always gotten along better with him, but I love you, too. I would try really hard not to take his side.

love,
natalia

@lestrange

[Deleted]

Dear Natalia,

Natalia Potter, haha! It does sound a bit fictional, doesn't it? I'm sure that whatever happens in the future will be great for you two. I am happy that you've found someone like him. I mean, you seem happy to me.

That's all right, you can take your time with the package! I am very excited for it. A little apprehensive about the pick-me-up, but I trust you... that's great about having your own money. You're such an adult.

Yeah, that makes sense. I'll keep my name too, for now. I haven't thought about it too much. But sometimes.. well, it'd be silly to change my last name to 'Longbottom' and then marry Phil someday. That'd be pretty awkward. If that happened and all.

It's okay, I don't really need to talk about him right now.

What else is going on with you?

love,
Andy

[Deleted]

dear andromeda,

It’s funny, I always thought that the future would be less scary once our parents were out of our lives, but if anything, that’s made everything scarier. For me, at least. I don’t want to be a burden to Hannah and Neville, so it kind of makes everything seem a lot…closer, I guess? Like the whole thing about being an adult with my own money.

It’s just Chocolate Frogs, silly! Everyone deserves a little chocolate, especially my favorite little sister! (I know you’re my only little sister, but we’re going to pretend I have many, many more, and you’re still the favorite.)

Andromeda, if you think James and I are going to get married, then you and Phil definitely are. There’s no way around that one. I agree about the whole last name situation – it would probably confuse a lot of people.

Whenever you’re ready.

I’m afraid there’s not much to report on my front. Between work and James, I haven’t really had time to do anything else, or people to do it with. Like we were talking about earlier, that whole friendship thing is tricky. I’ve had some trouble sleeping, but…I think it’s getting better. What about you? How is everything with the Triwizard Tournament?

love,
natalia

@lestrange

[Deleted]

@natalia,

I can kind of see what you mean, how you want to be able to support yourself completely sooner rather than later. They love you, though, and will help you out any time you need. It took me a long time to accept that, but I know that's true now. Doesn't mean I want to live with them forever, but I know that they're there for us. Plus, I have you, so I'm pretty much set in the support department. Kind of a weird feeling, though.

I do love chocolate frogs, thanks. You're my favorite older sister too.

Hah, Marriage. What a weird thought. I always thought I wouldn't want to get married. Because I wouldn't want my kids to have our parents as grandparents but... now that's all up in the air, isn't it? It's oddly exciting, and terrifying.

I hope your sleep gets better, darling. I'm sorry it's been hard. It's been hard for me too...

I'm okay, I think. The tournament is... strange. My best friend, Anna, is one of the champions. She finished second in the First Task, which I'm kind of sad about, but I'm just glad she's okay. She went through some serious hell in there.

Love love,
Andy

[Deleted]

dear andromeda,

Please, please, please come stay with me sometime! I don’t know when I’ll get to living on my own, but it would be great to have you sometime, when I do get that settled.

Children. If James and I have children, Harry Potter will be their grandfather. How crazy is that? I don’t know why I’m thinking about this. I don’t think I’d be a good mother. I’ll just leave the kids to you, and I can be the cool aunt or something.

I’ll be fine. And at least if we’re insomniacs, we’re insomniacs together, yes? If you need anything else, to help with sleep, please ask. I know I keep telling you to ask me for help, but I mean it, and I don’t want you to forget.

I’m sure you’re doing this already, but help her as best as you can. If anyone knows about going through hell and coming back out on the other side, it’s you. Us Lestranges are tough.

love,
natalia

@lestrange

[Deleted]

@natalia,

I would love to stay with you, of course. We'll work that out when the time comes!

Hah, it is a bit strange to think that we're on such good terms with our parents enemies, doesn't it? No, no, don't leave the kids to me. I'd be a terrible mother. I can't even function as a daughter, girlfriend, all that. You would be much better suited to care for them. Or we could ask Neville and Hannah to care for them. Except, well, Philip is going to be an amazing father one day. I have no doubt about that.

Yes, insomniacs together. That makes sense. I'm unsure how to sleep better. Isn't there some stuff with aroma therapy or something that's supposed to help? Do you know anything about that?

Of course. Anna is going to be great, though. I know that.

Love,

Andy

[Deleted]

dear andromeda,

Yes, when the time comes! That's much easier than talking in theoreticals.

I try not to think too much about what people are to our parents - it just makes my head hurt. And I guess it hurts my heart a little, too, that the people I love now and the people I loved then wouldn't get along. I guess that's the way life is sometimes, though. As for me being better suited to be a mother - no. If Theo and I had gotten married I think we would have only had one child, and I guess I don't expect to have many more with James. Children are still weaknesses. So many people have already had power over me, and I guess I don't want to add another way people can control me into my life.

I think that what you're thinking of is lavender. Some people use it, but I've never tried it. Chamomile tea, I think, is also supposed to be good. That's what Neville says, at least.

Good for her. I'll let you know if I make it to the First Task.

love,
natalia

@lestrange

[Deleted]

@natalia,

Well, as least we love each other, that's important. I'm glad that you didn't marry Theo... that guy gives me the creeps. For the little amount I've known of him, I mean. Sorry it's taking me a while to write, I've been so busy and tired and frustrated. I think things are finally getting better, though.

Lavender. I'll try that! And Chamomile, yes, I've had some. That is helping too. Neville and Hannah suggested that to me as well.

Love you,
ANDY

[Deleted]

dear andromeda,

Yes, I’d agree that that is rather important. I’m glad I didn’t marry Theo, too. I love him, but he’s just a friend to me, and if I married him, I wouldn’t get to marry James. I haven’t heard from Theo in a while. I’m sorry he gives you the creeps, but I promise, he’s fine. I’m glad that things are getting better for you, Andy. You deserve it.

That’s good. I know that you just said things are getting better, but…Andy, our parents sent me a letter. I won’t repeat what was said, but it wasn't anything nice. You should be careful. They’re angry at me, and I’d imagine that they’re angry at you, too. I talked to James’s father, and he thought it might be good if I come to stay with them a while at Godric’s Hollow while we figure out what to do. Please stay safe.

love,
natalia

@lestrange

[Deleted]

@natalia ,

Have you talked to him since... well, since he kind of ran off with the others? I don't know, he doesn't really seem the type to really care about Elaines goals... maybe it's just... fun? Or something? I don't know, he's weird.

Things are going well, thank you. I'm not sure if I'll agree on the deserve it line but I won't go into that since you'll only contradict me!

They should not be sending you stuff like that. I'll be careful, we just need to stay away from them. I'm sure Harry would be able to help. It's probably not safe to tell Neville or Hannah right now. Which is... annoying. Hey, I love you. I'll stay safe. You do the same.

The Yule Ball is in two days. I hope to see you soon.

Love,

Andy
(So this was sent Dec. 23rd right before their thread. I'm going to start le ~drama~ soon!)