I'm slipping out of reach now (Finn)

[Deleted]

And that's when it all came flooding back, everything she had just done. Everything she had done to Desi the month before, and to Nik the month before that. Who she was becoming, and what was happening to her. She was leaving that place too, the void that had become such a home to her the last few months. Her memories of that night with Neville and Hannah, as they tried to get to her, tried to reach her, kept flooding back and she caught her breath, gasping loudly where she stood just on the outskirts of town.

It wasn't even curfew yet, and the students were still in the village, no one would even have noticed she left. Except for maybe Susan, and possibly Jayden. Other than that, she was sure that no one, would notice little old Andromeda Lestrange missing from the group. But, she was wrong. Someone was standing nearby, and they must have heard her gasping, they must have seen her clutching the wall of the building beside her, as if she could collapse at any moment without it. She didn't have time to recover. Whoever that person was, whoever was about to approach her, would see her for what she was. A scared little child, with fear in her eyes and panic shaking her entire body. This time, luckily, there was no blood on her clothes or hands, her hair was still completely in place, as if nothing had happened at all. But everything had, she had crossed the line. She had moved on to muggles, muggles she barely even knew. She knew nothing would ever be the same. She looked up to make eye contact with this person seeing the auror Finn, who was in her house only the year before. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

@finn

(end of November like the 28th or something)

[Deleted]

Finn was on patrol by himself in Hogsmeade, and to be honest he was glad of it. The month of November had been filled with so many ups and downs, the downs being some of the most terrifying moments of his life. Rai had come back after being missing for four days; he had not slept very much when trying to find her. She was back now, but she was different, changed. She was still like his sister but she’d be forever different now. His relationship with Dom was one of the bright spots; she made him happy, happier than he thought he could ever be with someone in a relationship. He’d always been flirty and carefree, but Dom made him want to focus on her, and only her. There would be no one else in his mind now that there was Dominique Weasley.

He turned a corner, walking up a street that led to the outskirts of the town. Sometimes he and Rai would see stray dogs playing around here; he smiled at the memory. He looked and saw Andromeda Lestrange at the end of the lane; while they hadn’t been super close, she was a Gryffindor and only a year younger, and never gave him any reason to dislike her. He raised a hand in greeting. “Hello Andy! How are you doing today?” he asked, but as he walked closer, he realized the answer to his question. She seemed shell-shocked; he could see her hands shaking and her eyes widening. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out and Finn ran over to her. “Hey...what’s wrong? Do you want me to get you anything?” he asked her, the concern slipping into his words. He took off his cloak and wrapped it around Andromeda’s shoulders, hoping perhaps that would help.



@lestrange

[Deleted]

Andy made eye contact with Finn as he began speaking to her. He was so upbeat, at first, asking how she was doing today. Then he picked up the face and ran over to her, asking what was wrong, asking if she wanted anything. She hesitated, her eyes wide as he wrapped his cloak around her shoulders. Then she nodded, "I need a drink," she said softly, "something warm?" she blinked rapidly, assuring that no tears would fall from her eyes.

She wouldn't tell Finn Jordan what had happened, of course not, but she could decide then and there that she was going to actually let him cheer her up instead of sinking into oblivion. She decided that this was the last time. This was the last hit. This was the last time she'd clean blood from her clothes and hands. The last time she'd break her violin because of some emotional circumstance. The last time she'd hurt anyone. The last time she'd betray her family.

She found herself smiling in spite of what she'd done, just thinking about how she could change if she just tried hard enough. She could do this. She could do this.

@finn

[Deleted]

Finn gave Andy a kind smile. “Of course, lets get you some hot chocolate,” he said kindly, putting his arm around her shoulders in a brotherly fashion. Finn of course had grown up with no siblings of his own; his parents said that he was the only one they ever wanted, but he had heard them talking once - his mum had had some trouble getting pregnant with him in the first place, and another baby had been too much to ask for it seemed. His heart broke for his mother; she would have thrived with a family of six or seven children. Perhaps it was how Finn came to be so loud and boisterous, and why she was always more than happy to host his friends at their house in the summers.

He walked with her to Madame Puddifoots, which was closest and sat with her at a table near the window. “Two hot chocolates please,” he asked the barista, who had hurried over. The cafe was empty, which he thought might be good for the girls’ psyche. “So..you’re the Captain of the Orchestra Club this year yeah? How is that coming?” Finn asked, pulling something randomly out of the blue. He’d remembered last year seeing her practice in the common room for orchestra; she had played beautifully, so he assumed she’d make the Captain spot this year.

@lestrange

[Deleted]

She regretted not knowing Finn better than she did. It was okay, though, because there was always more time. He put his arm around her shoulders and she smiled at him before looking forward as they walked. He was so warm and kind, it was almost hard to believe that people like him even existed and yet... here he was, being him, being incredible. Could she be more like that?

They arrived at the Tea Shop and Andy breathed a sigh of relief, glad he didn't choose the Broomsticks. She wasn't in the mood to face Susan, if she was there. He ordered for them and she sat down, giving him a nod of thanks. Then he mentioned the Orchestra Club and she smiled, nodding. "Yes, I am. It's coming along great. I have two pianists this year, which I've always wanted," she said, quickly. It was actually kind of odd, how bipolar she could be. She was diving into this conversation, into his energy, and she was smiling. It was a small miracle.

@finn

[Deleted]

Finn watched Andromeda carefully; there was definitely something off but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He didn’t pry though because it was not any of his business; if she did something bad then she could go to someone perhaps she knew better than Finn. “That’s great, so you could have dueling piano competitions during a piece,” he said, chuckling at the idea. Finn was definitely the opposite of musically gifted; he was pretty sure he could play ‘Chopsticks’ on the piano and that was about it. He took a sip from his steaming mug of hot chocolate. “So...what are your plans for after you graduate?” he asked her, trying to make more conversation. He felt bad he didn’t know Andy very well; sure she was in the year below him but they’d both been Gryffindors and her boyfriends sister had been one of James’ best friends for the longest time. Maybe this year he’d have some time to get to know some of the seventh years he should have been paying closer attention to - like Susan, Casey’s new girlfriend.



@lestrange

[Deleted]

Andy found herself regretting that she didn't know Finn better while he was at school. He was kind and sure, steady and balanced. Things that Andy didn't have. She nodded as he made the comment about dueling pianos, but didn't speak more on the topic.

She continued to sip her drink in silence for a moment before he asked about her plans after graduation. The thought sent her mind reeling back to Phil and all the things they wanted to do and places they wanted to go. She smiled softly, lowering her cup in order to answer him. "Whatever Phil wants to do," she cleared her throat, "Philip Longbottom. He's my boyfriend," the words still sent a heat through her stomach. "I think we want to go to Africa and study medicines there. He does herbology," she added, having no idea if Finn knew Phil at all.

@finn

[Deleted]

Finn nodded; he knew who Phil Longbottom was. “Phil was cool; I knew Alice a bit better since she was in my year but Phil’s always been nice. Never into as much trouble as the boys and I got up to but that was probably in his best interest,” Finn told her with a chuckle. “Isn’t he abroad this year? There’s a school somewhere that specializes in Herbology, we all got pamphlets of information on it in sixth year. Can’t remember for the life of me what the name of it was, but we have that healthy exchange program with them,” he mused, stroking his chin in thought. He snapped his fingers as he remembered. “Castlebruxo, that’s the one,” he said, proud of himself for remembering. Clearly he had taken the pamphlet and chucked it in the bin; he’d obviously taken Herbology to become an Auror but it was only vaguely interesting to him. Defense Against the Dark Arts had always been his forte.

@lestrange

[Deleted]

Andy smiled as Finn spoke about what he knew of Phil. She nodded, "yes, he's in Brazil," she confirmed . "You're right. He's not really the type to go around getting into trouble. His dad his the headmaster, for one, and it just... isn't in his nature. Sometimes I'm surprised he wasn't put in Hufflepuff with all the other really nice people," she chuckled softly. Then, a thought occurred to her, and she furrowed her eyebrows at Finn. "Why did you decide to become an Auror, Finn?" she asked. She had wanted to be one for so long before switching to being interested in medicine but... it was still an attractive job to her. Aside from the fact that she really was better off without any violence whatsoever.

@finn

[Deleted]

Finn gave Andy a kind smile. “Well...I’d say leaving all you know and love behind for a semester halfway across the world is pretty brave. It must have been terribly difficult for him to go, but from what you say, it sounds like it’s the Dream for him, and I admire his courage to take that leap,” he told her. He paused when she asked him why he wanted to be an Auror. It was a good question, one he’d been asked a lot and he usually gave pretty easy explanations. But there was something in the way she asked that made him stop. “Originally, I wanted to join Weasley Wizarding Wheezes with Fred, but I realized that I wanted to make a difference in the world, and help bring evil to justice. As an Auror, I think that I am able to protect the ones that I care about as best I can, and have a pretty great support group too. It’s...where I really feel like I belong,” he told her, completely serious.

@lestrange

[Deleted]

Andy smiled softly as Finn spoke about what Phil was doing being brave and all. She felt her eyes get a tiny bit shaky and she looked away for a moment, smiling at the window. "He's the bravest person I know," she said softly, almost forgetting for a split second that she was talking to someone. She took another sip of her hot chocolate and turned back to Finn, asking her next question and ready to hear his answer.

She nodded as he explained it. Wanting to make a difference in the world. Bring evil to justice. Protect and all that... she nodded, "I can understand justice but... how do you stay on the moral line of justice or not?" she asked slowly, "I mean, how do you get justice without breaking... yourself?"

@finn
(ooh shiz gettin' real)

[Deleted]

Finn just gave her a smile as she looked away talking about Phil; he didn’t know Andy well of course, but it was incredibly evident to him just how much she loved the boy. “Well Phil sounds like a lucky man to have someone love him as much as you do,” he said, quite sincerely. He didn’t respond to her second question right away; it was a loaded question and both of them knew that. “I think, in the end it comes down to choosing to do either what’s right or what’s easy.” He paused again, looking over at her. “Choosing to do what’s right sometimes can be difficult, and can come at a cost. At the end, you have to remember that what you’re doing is to make the world a better place, but at the same time you have to keep reminding yourself that you cannot win every battle. Sometimes, you choose wrongly and it’s not going to feel great. But that doesn’t make you a bad person; you just have to get back out there and know what you’re fighting for is right.” Finn sat back; he had said a lot in a few moments of time and knew it was a lot to process. He reached out and held onto his coffee cup, taking a small sip as he watched Andy.


@lestrange

[Deleted]

Phil. Lucky. To have her. She almost laughed at it, but she didn't want to seem rude. Granted, he didn't necessarily say her. He said to have someone who loved him that much. And she did, she loved him more than she loved anything or anyone and that would never change. Never. She smiled softly, her brow furrowing as she looked back to him, "I'm lucky, too," she added. She didn't deserve Phil. She never would as far as she was concerned.

Then she waited for him to answer her question, and he didn't disappoint. Right. Right. That was the hardest thing for her to determine. "I guess I... understand," she said slowly, pausing to take another warm sip of the drink, "I just don't know what's right. I never have," she admitted. Then she chuckled softly, embarrassed that she was opening up so much. "The job seems to suit you, Finn" she complimented.

@finn

[Deleted]

The corner of Finn’s eyes crinkled as he smiled; he reached over and patted Andy’s arm in a friendly way. “It’ll just come to you one day; people aren’t born knowing what is right and what is wrong. They have to learn it, and for some that takes far longer than others, if ever at all.”


He paused, then continued. “Then you have the whole knowing what’s wrong but doing it anyway type, like Gellert Grindelwald. I think especially Grindelwald knew deep down that what he wanted to do wasn’t the right thing to do, but he had spent years and years convincing himself that it was. Then, after he lost his duel with Dumbledore and was locked away for decades in his own prison, it was rumored that he had remorse. You don’t get remorse if you’re doing the right thing.” Obviously there was no way of confirming this with the dark wizard, as he had died by Voldemort’s hand in 1998, but many people had whispered that in the end he did feel badly for what he had done. One could only hope, he supposed.

@lestrange

[Deleted]

He patted her arm and she actually didn't jump, which was amazing to her. Then he said it would just come to her one day, knowing what she had to do. She nodded, but she wasn't sure if she believed him... yet. It would take her a long time, longer than it took Finn Jordan, she was sure.

Then he paused, but she waited. More words about about Grindelwald and remorse... well, she had a lot of that. "That's... a good way of looking at it. Thanks, Finn," she said, leaning toward him a little and smiling, "and thanks for helping me out today," she moved to stand, leaving just a tiny bit of butterbeer left in her mug, "you're a good guy, Finn. The world is lucky to have you," and then she left him be, ready to move on with her life and leave all the bad behind.

She hoped.

@finn