Hold Me Close & Hold Me Fast (Darina)

[Irina Rose Krum]

It had started out innocent enough.

Irina was with her friends, celebrating Anna’s champion status for the Triwizard Tournament, and she had gone off, presumably to find Dan. Instead, she found herself in a dark room; not a single crack of light was coming through the boarded up windows. She saw a figure, small, dark and pale, oh so pale, stirring feebly on the floor. The door banged open and a tall shadowy figure appeared, and pure terror pierced Rina’s heart. She heard screaming and blood splattered everywhere. It got on Irina’s face, in her mouth, she could taste the metallic texture seeping down her throat…

Irina woke with a gasp, sweating and shaking. Putting her hand to her mouth, she stumbled out of her bed and made it just in time to the bathroom, where she proceeded to unload the contents of her stomach. Her hands were shaking badly; trying to grip the sides of the bowl didn’t help as they kept slipping. Her breathing came in gasps and choking breaths; she dry heaved again as the images flashed through her mind. She tried to stand up, but slipped and scraped her knuckles against the ground. She wanted to cry out, but her roommates were sound asleep; they were all feeling the stress and pressure of seventh year and she didn’t need to Anna’s worry even though the girl had always told her to wake her up if this happened again. She cleaned herself up, and stared into her reflection. Her eyes were puffy and slightly red-rimmed; she must have started crying in her sleep. She splashed her face with cold water, and in the moments after she decided what to do.

D,

I need you. Make an excuse and find your way to the kitchens. Please hurry.

I

She charmed the note into a paper airplane and opened the Girls Dormitory window, watching it sail down from the tower towards the Durmstrang ship. She reached into her bedside table and grabbed the note from Professor Delehov, the one that gave her permission to head to the kitchens for a glass of warm milk to try and soothe out her nightmares naturally. If she couldn’t stop shaking, she knew she’d have to go to the Hospital Wing, but she didn’t want to resort to that yet.

She threw her white dressing gown over her purple and white nightgown and hurried down the spiral staircase, her slippered feet padding the noise. She exited the portrait hole and received a scoff from the Fat Lady, which she ignored. She made her way downstairs, only running into the Hufflepuff Head of House. When she showed the woman her note, she’d given her a kind look and told her to feel better. A small smile managed to reach Irina’s face, and she continued on. She opened the secret door to the kitchens and asked for a mug of hot chocolate; after that nightmare she needed a pick me up. As she sat and waited, she realized her knees were jangling together; she crossed her legs and clasped her hands to try and stop the shaking. When the house elf pressed the mug into her hands, she tried to concentrate on the warmth radiating from the mug; the contents still swished and shook from her trembling and she took a deep, steadying breath. It was just a nightmare, she told herself even though she knew what she had seen wasn’t just any old nightmare. She just wished it would all go away, wished that she’d never gone to bed that night, even though it was a ridiculous thought. She hated these visions; why was she cursed with this? A tear trickled down her cheek and she sniffled, wiping it away quickly. She rested her head against the back of the warm stone wall and brought the mug to her lips, taking a small sip of the steaming chocolate drink.

@daniel

[Deleted]

It wasn't even a bad day.

Still, Dan woke up in a cold sweat, his heart racing. Whose emotions was he feeling? He had no idea, but whoever it was they were in a seriuos panic. He clutched over his heart, his breathing rapid, as he tried to push the thoughts aside. Maybe it was Elias, because of the First Task? Dan tried to will his breathing to slow but it didn't work. So, he climbed out of bed and out onto the deck. Maybe some air would help.

Then, a paper airplane flew toward him. He reached up and caught it, surprised that he had stepped onto the deck write as it was floating down. He unfolded it and smiled as he recognized the writing, but frowned at the words. She needed him? Was she okay?

Dan quickly slipped back in the ship changing into some clothes rather that just his pajamas and went to his professor, who said he would get an auror to walk him inside.

They walked in silence, except for Dan thanking them once or twice as they went inside. Soon he was at the kitchens, tickling the pear on the painting and slipping inside alone. He shut the door behind him and nodded as he saw her. "Rina, darling," he spoke softly, moving to kneel at her side and place his hand on her cheek, "what's wrong?"

Irina Rose Krum

[Irina Rose Krum]

As the door to the kitchens opened, Irina's shaking hands got the better of her and she dropped the mug. She gasped as the house elves quickly cleaned it up, ignoring her apologies as someone knelt down next to her.  Dan.  She knew it was him before he spoke, he must have gotten her message.  Thank Merlin; she didn't want to be alone right now.  She felt his hand against her cheek and reached her hand up to rest against his.  "I'd say I'm fine but you know I'd be lying," she said, laughing shakily.  She looked at him; his presence made her feel a little bit calmer, but she was still shaken from what the nightmare held.

"I had another nightmare," she said, her eyes widening slightly at the memory.  "There was a figure...I-I don't know who they were, lying on a bed in a darkened room.  Then someone...something came in....there was so much blood and the screams, the screaming didn't stop," she pressed her other hand to her ear, as though trying to drown them out.  "I don't know who it was, that's the worst part.  I can't even warn them what's coming," she finished, her voice trembling.  She looked back over at him.  "I'm sorry but I just didn't want to be alone," she told him softly.


@daniel

[Deleted]

Irina dropped the mug she had been holding and Dan gasped, frowning at hit as he knelt by her side. He left it there, hoping the elves would understand and be able to pick it up. Her emotions surged through him as she mentioned how she wasn't fine, or rather how he'd know she was lying if she said she was. He smiled gently at her, letting her give the laugh and continue onward.

Another nightmare. Perfect. He took her hand and held it tightly, nodding at every word she said. He shook his head when she finished, his eyes full of sympathy. "Irina, I'm so sorry," he said softly, "it's okay. I wouldn't want you to be alone either. Hey, it's okay. You can look at me. Just keep your eyes on me," he said. He turned to the house elves and asked them for another cup of what Irina was drinking and then turned back to her, stroking her cheek. "What can i do for you, love? Just be here?"

Irina Rose Krum

[Irina Rose Krum]

Irina gave a small smile and accepted the new mug of hot chocolate gratefully "Thank you," she said, taking a slow sip. Her hands were returning to their normal steady selves and she knew that by Dan sitting there had helped. "Just you being here is all I need," she told him, gently leaning against his hand on her cheek. She set the mug down and took his other hand in hers. "You're amazing you know that? It's like the past almost three months would have horrifying if you hadn't been there along with me," she said, rubbing her thumb over the top of his hand. She studied his face carefully for a minute before giggling a little. "This is a far cry from the last time I had a dream too. Though i will admit I enjoyed the way that night ended. Are you doing alright? I didn't wake you with my note did I?" she asked him. He looked a little more pale than usual and his wellbeing was always something Irina wanted to look out for. He trusted her with his ability and she with hers; that wasn't something that was very easy to come by.

@daniel

[Deleted]

Dan nodded as she thanked him for the choco, not that he had much to do with it's preparation. She said that all she needed was for him to be there and his brow knitted together a little with worry but he smiled as she took his hands. He shook his heads at her words, not really believing that he really was that good of a thing in someones life. He was still amazing that he was even here. With her, letting her hold his hands. Wanting her to hold them. She went on to ask if he was doing alright and if she had woken him and he shook his head again. "No, I was awake," he said, which was the only thing he had said for a few minutes. He cleared his throat, "I'm just glad you're feeling better now. I guess we have a way of finding each other when we have a bad night," he chuckled softly, stroking her cheek with his thumb, "I couldn't sleep, someone was feeling some pretty intense anxious emotions. Sleep is when I'm at my weakest," he muttered, his eyes looking away from hers for a split second.

Then, he looked back at her. "And you're the amazing one. I'm just dramatic," he said with a little smirk full of humor

Irina Rose Krum

[Irina Rose Krum]

Irina gave him a small smile, but her eyes crinkled with worry. Her first thought of course was that Elias was panicking about the upcoming task. Why wouldn’t he be? The realization of what you’ve signed up for was definitely starting to get to Anna - her friend looked paler than usual whenever Irina spotted her. She leaned in and kissed him softly. “I’m sorry love. I’m sure it was Elias; Anna doesn’t say anything but I can tell her nerves are starting to crack a bit,” she admitted, resting her forehead against his.

She smiled as he called her amazing; she sometimes didn’t think so, but she supposed what mattered was what he thought. She opened her mouth, probably to say something adorable, but a sharp pain throbbed powerfully in her head. Her forehead slipped from his as she buried her face into his shoulder, her hands flying up to press against her temples. Images flashed in front of her eyes and she squeezed them shut; she felt a few tears pinprick the corner of her eyes. “It’s not….stopping,” she said, not aware she was beginning to tremble.

@daniel

[Deleted]

Dan nodded as she guessed that it was Elias. Heck, it was probably all three of the champions getting to him. Well, maybe not Anna. Even an emotion that strong couldn't come to him from there... could it? If that was the case then he would immediately have assumed that it was because of Irinas nightmare, but that was too absurd. That was a huge distance and... well, he didn't want to think that it could be possible. It would make dealing with his abilities one hundred times harder.

Then suddenly her emotions changed and he grimaced, flinching away from her as a sharp pain burst through his head. She buried her face into his shoulder but his hands fell to his sides, fists clenched. She started to shake, but so did he. This would be an ideal time to head to the hospital wing, but he was afraid to move. "It's... okay," he tried to say, but he knew that it wasn't. This vision must have been grotesque because he started to feel nauseous. He promised her that he wanted to feel everything she felt but... this was unreal. She lifted his hands and placed them on her shoulders, pushing her back.

Irina Rose Krum

[Irina Rose Krum]

Irina knew it was too much to ask Dan to handle this, but to be completely fair, Irina had never experienced this herself. It was like she was there, she could nearly feel the terror overwhelming the figure on the bed. They had become clearer now; it was definitely a girl, with dark hair. And the tall one; pale white and imposing. Slowly, Irina lowered her hands from the side of her head as her vision cleared and returned to normal. Her headache was completely gone, just like that. She looked at Dan, wide-eyed. “I….I think I was witnessing something as it happened. Or...or at least within moments of it happening, that’s never happened before. It was like my body was here, but my mind was wherever that girl was. I...I don’t even know what to think right now,” she whispered, her voice hushed.

She shook her head as if to get the vision out of her mind, and saw Dan more clearly in front of her. Immediately waves of guilt washed over her as she took in his stature; clenched fists, grimace on his face, still tremoring slightly. “Oh Dan...I’m so sorry,” she whispered. She didn’t reach out to hold his hand, though she wanted to. Previous experience had shown Irina that physical contact didn’t help when he got like this. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths; mercifully, the vision did not return to her through her closed lids. Instead, she pictured her grandparents house in Bulgaria and the sound the wind made rustling through the tall trees. She began to feel herself calm down; her body which was in full fight or flight mode just moments ago began to rest again. As she opened her eyes, she felt exhausted, but held her gaze towards her boyfriend. “Is that working?” she asked quietly, hoping it helped. She’d read somewhere that meditation helped relax the mind, so she had picked it up over the last few weeks as a way to help Dan whenever the emotions got to him.

@daniel

[Deleted]

Her words slipped into his ears like a blur. This was weird. He hadn't had a breakdown this bad since... Well, since that night in the hospital wing. She said she thought she was seeing things as they were happening? Well that was new, and extremely discouraging. Whoever that girl was, she was in serious trouble. To the point that Dan could almost feel her pain, could almost hear her screaming in his own head. In fact, for a second, he was sure that the girls Terror was coming out of Irinas vision, and into him. There was something else there too. Desperation, and something else. He was trying to put a finger on it. It was something like how he felt towards Irina, but why would the girl be thinking about that at a time like this? Whatever was happening to her, it was horrible. Why was she thinking about love?

Irina said she was sorry and Dan scooted back, shaking his head, and bringing his hands up to his ears. Not that blocking out the sound would make a difference, but for some reason it was Instinctual and he thought that it would help. Then he could feel the calm coming from her, but it wasn't enough. He vaguely heard her ask if it was working and he shook his head rapidly, closing his eyes tight and leaning his forehead onto his knees. "Come here," he pleaded softly. He needed her right now to be with him, holding him. Maybe together they could fight the darkness.

Irina Rose Krum

[Irina Rose Krum]

Irina looked on helplessly as Dan scooted back, covering his ears and putting his head upon his knees. She couldn't be completely sure, but she feared she had transferred both her and the girl in the visions emotions to him somehow. Even without being an empath Rina knew how shaken up she was from it - it was her first vision that had made her vomit, so it must be ten times worse for him. She cursed herself for calling her boyfriend in the first place; how could she have been so thoughtless? She could have called Ripley - her sister couldn't feel her emotions like Dan could and her common room was right around here. She thought briefly of what Nikolai had said when he found out that Dan and Irina had been seeing each other. He had warned her that this would happen and that she wouldn't be able to deal with it. You're wrong, she thought to herself determinedly, though she made no move to come closer until he spoke.

Slowly, keeping her thoughts and feelings passive, Irina scooted herself towards the curled up figure that was her boyfriend. She slowly wrapped her arms around his trembling form and pulled him close to her. "I'm here my love," she said softly, rubbing his back with one hand while gently playing with his hair with the other. She thought of the things that made her happy; flying freely through the air on a broom, climbing trees, reading a good history book, being with Dan. She pulled herself closer and rested her forehead against the side of his head. "I love you Daniel Hoh, I'm not going to let you suffer by yourself," she whispered.

@daniel

[Deleted]

Dan didn't instantly feel better when she wrapped her arms around him. But, that was to be expected. He knew, that he had to get through the hard parts to get to the good things at the end. He knew, that his abilty wasn't just going to go away, and he needed to figure out a way to work through it. For now, maybe just being with her was a good enough way. He also knew that she really loved him. He could feel that emotion stronger than anything else. He nodded as she spoke, but otherwise didn't move except for to lean toward her as she wrapped her arms around him. He rested his head on her chest and lay there with his eyes closed.

It took several deep breaths for him to stop being tense, and to move his hands to hold her too. "I'm sorry. I'm not very good at being the comforting one," he said softly, still not opening his eyes just yet. He was content there, and wished it could always by like this. With her.

Irina Rose Krum

[Irina Rose Krum]

Irina stayed there with him, silent as she waited for him to calm down.  She didn't think he'd been this bad since the last time they were at the Hospital Wing; they'd probably end up there again that night, but right now they were in no position to move anywhere.  Luckily most of the house elves were off cleaning the castle or had gone to bed; only one or two still mulled around the kitchens.  He finally leaned in and laid his head on her chest and she smiled a little bit, not letting go for even one second.

Eventually, Dan wrapped his arms around her and she kissed the top of his head.  "No, you're not," she said matter-of-factly, then chuckled.  "But you listen, and that's also really important.  You always let me talk about my visions, and I feel like I can talk about them with you, which is huge Dan.  You were the first person I told remember?" she said, smiling a little at herself.  She found herself gently rocking back and forth; the motion seemed soothing to her, so she hoped Dan would feel that way too.


@daniel




ooc POST FIVE HUNDRED WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Deleted]

Dan didn't answer right away as she agreed that he wasn't that great at comforting, but then she went on. He nodded against her as she reminded him that he was the first person she told about her visions. She started to rock a little, which made Dan breath easier and he leaned into her even more. He was silent for a bit longer, willing himself to relax. "You can talk to me about anything," he muttered, turning his face so that it was buried in her fabrics of her shirt for a moment. Then he pulled back enough to look at her face, "Who knows, maybe you'll have a vision about us. A good one," he half smiled.

Irina Rose Krum

[Irina Rose Krum]

Irina smiled and gently rested her chin on top of his head. “I know,” she said simply, not helping a small laugh escape her mouth as he buried his face into her shirt. She leaned down and kissed him when he turned his face to look at her. “I’d welcome a good vision for once, especially one that is good and concerns you, or us,” she said with a smile. It’d be nice to be woken from a dream that stayed good that was about them; she’d had plenty of dreams about her and Dan that she wasn’t about to speak of out loud, but sometimes they turned into nightmares. Never when she was sleeping next to him though, something she had noticed more and more. She had hesitated in telling him, but just holding onto each other seemed to calm him down. “You know, I realized that when I’m with you when I sleep, I don’t get any bad visions. Any visions at all really; just sort of is a peaceful sleep.  It's pretty nice actually,” she said, offering him a small shy smile. She wasn’t trying to suggest he sneak out every night and come snuggle with her of course, but it was a tempting idea.


@daniel