you've seemed to replace your brain with your heart [zaire]

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The First Task of the Triwizard Tournament was in two days, and Theodosia couldn't even make herself feel excited. She couldn't make herself feel anything, because she was still puzzling over what had happened with the Greyback girl. She had expected time to bring clarity, but if anything, thinking more on the situation had made things muddier for Theodosia. There were few people that she could talk to about this sort of thing, because few people wouldn't judge her for her possible romantic feelings towards a half-blood. There was really only person that Theo could think to talk to about this situation, and even he was a stretch. Zaire hated half-bloods almost as much as Theodosia did, and so she expected that he wouldn't be thrilled to hear what she was contemplating, but he was her best friend in every sense of the word, and maybe, just maybe, he would be able to shed some light on the situation.

@zaire
(feel free to take your time responding to this! i know i kind of sprung it on you but i am super excited for these two~)

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Zaire was disappointed with the chosen champions for the Triwizard tournament which made his interest in watching the tasks overall go down significantly. Had he been of age, he had no doubt that he would have been the one to become the champion for Hogwarts and he'd have easily won the competition for himself. The Weasley blood traitor seemed wholly incompetent and while her Gryffindor confidence had taken over at the announcement and she'd seemed excited, she couldn't fool him. Underneath all of that she had nothing that would push her over the top and she would surely fall flat of everyone's expectations. He was actually looking forward to her failing granted he'd rather his school won rather than Beauxbatons or Durmstrang.

He was headed back to the Slytherin common room after a day that felt too long. He hadn't gone to a few classes today just because he hadn't felt like it but he was still over today. When the portrait to the common room swung open, he raised his eyebrow in amusement when he saw his best friend Theodosia. Upon further assessment, his amusement fell away and what remained was a questioning look. She looked a little distracted. "Hey Theodosia. What's on your mind?" He made his way across the common room and jumped into one of the more comfortable chairs, looking at her expectantly.



Tag; @theodosia

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Theodosia heard the door to the common room open, and she didn’t turn to look. There weren’t many people she was interested in seeing, and there were plenty of people that she would probably attack on sight. When she heard Zaire’s voice, though, Theodosia whipped her head around, a smile spreading on her face. It didn’t quite reach her eyes, but it was a start. “Hey, Zai.” She said. Theodosia sighed, a little bit tired. Zaire flopped down in a chair, and Theodosia stood up and moved so she could be closer to him. She didn’t want the entirety of Slytherin house to hear what she was going to talk about. She was going to ask him how he was, but Theodosia really didn’t want the question to be reciprocated, so she decided to go down a different path. “We never did talk about why I was at the GSA meeting.” Theodosia said. Zaire was probably curious about that, since Theodosia had never really gotten around to telling him that she was a lesbian. “Lucy wanted me to come.” She said, answering the question he hadn’t had to ask. “To make sure that she wasn’t the only pureblood in the room.” Of course, Cecelia Rousseau, the captain, was a pureblood, but she was also a Gryffindor, so that meant it really didn’t count.

@zaire

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When she moved closer to him Zaire noticed that he wanted to kiss her but that would be stupid. One, she'd already stated before that she wasn't interested in him. Two, he didn't want to ruin their friendship. Three-- there was really just a long list of reasons why it was a bad idea with the most important being that she'd already told him she wasn't interested in him that way. So he ignored it and smiled at her. When she brought up the GSA meeting he'd walked into only to see her there his interest piqued. He'd honestly forgotten all about the meeting seeing as he'd gotten no satisfaction from it nor had there been anyone there to take notice of, minus Theodosia of course. After leaving he dared to say that the meeting had been immediately forgotten and he'd went to try and find something else to do. He could have roamed the Forbidden Forest instead.

Her reasoning was silly, you couldn't get him to go to some meeting he had no interest in just for the sake of being friends. Not even Theodosia could drag him somewhere he didn't want to be, and that was really saying something. Then again, he would have hated to be surrounded by a bunch of mudbloods and halfbloods just for some meeting he thought would have been a good idea. It was a lose-lose situation there so why not just avoid the meeting at all? He accepted the answer because she was his best friend and he didn't want to doubt her. "Sure, I guess that's as good a reason as any to go to a boring meeting," he leaned forward resting his head on his hand and gazing at her. "How have you been?" that distracted look he saw couldn't have had anything to do with the GSA meeting, he thought anyway, so something else could be bugging her. He wasn't one to pry, she'd tell him in due time he was sure. "Feels like I haven't seen you in a while. Other than that mockery of a meeting I mean," he smirked her way.

Tag; @theodosia

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Theodosia felt a flare of anger when Zaire called the GSA meeting boring. It hadn’t been all that bad. Sure, the amount of blood impurity in the room had been sickening, but couldn’t they forget that, just for a little while, so they could all unite in being supposedly imperfect in a different way? Maybe Zai didn’t see it that way. “Well, you went too.” She reasoned with him. If he thought the meeting was so boring, he could have just up and left, or not come at all, like he was suggesting that she do. Apparently Theodosia’s distraction hadn’t worked, because the dreaded question – how are you? – still popped up. It would be horribly easy to deflect, but it was obvious even to Theodosia that she wasn’t her normal self. There were days she thought Zai could see inside of her head and tell her what was wrong with her before she even knew something was wrong in the first place, so Theo reasoned that Zaire already knew something was eating at her. “I walked in on someone trying to kill herself.” Theodosia blurted out. It was a non sequitur, but it was what Zaire had been getting at anyways, hadn’t it? It felt like that to Theo. And considering that that wasn’t a common occurrence at Hogwarts, Zaire could probably deduce that she had walked in on Maxima Greyback. Maybe Theo was giving Zaire’s logic more credit than it was due, but she was worried that she wouldn’t even have to say a thing and he would know what she was getting at. And if he could figure it out, who was to say that everyone couldn’t? Theodosia was beginning to panic, and the worst part about it was that she had reason to panic, because if anyone knew the way she felt about the Greyback girl, her life would be over. Maybe even literally.

@zaire

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He gave a thoughtful nod at her words. She sounded like she was questioning his judgement. That or that she was offended by his words. Again, he didn't want to assume so he'd take it at face value. Either way he couldn't blame her for her questioning. He was just kind of tired of 'coming out' stories, which is the way the supposed captain had decided to begin the gsa year. "That I did. Coming out is overdone and annoying. People shouldn't have to come out. I just think it was a terrible way to start the year. There are more important topics to cover in the community," he stated simply. He'd never had to go through coming out simply because he didn't care who knew. He didn't go through leaps and bounds to hide it but he wasn't necessarily flaunting it either. It was easy enough for those to assume otherwise though because he was bethrothed to Theodosia. He'd never had a problem with his parents either because they'd go mad if he ever brought anyone home other than Theodosia.

"I walked in on someone trying to kill herself." His brow furrowed and for just a moment he looked distant. He'd heard about the Greyback girl trying to kill herself and ending up in the hospital wing. What he hadn't heard about was someone walking in on the act. He hadn't really paid attention to the narrative anyway so him missing that detail wasn't a surprise. Had Theodosia saved the girl? Hmm. She was lucky. The Greyback girl he meant. Not to seem like a psychopath, but the Greyback girl had chosen her own fate and he had no doubt had Theodosia not entered the room a bit later, she would have found a corpse. Maybe that would have freaked her out more and she'd be a lot more than distant and distracted right now. Maybe distraught and shattered. On one hand it made sense that it would bother her. Knowing that you'd walked in on someone trying to end their life could haunt you when you weren't use to death, not that he'd seen death himself. On the other hand, he wasn't entirely sure why she cared about the tainted girl anyway. Again, she'd made her own choice. Maybe the shock outweighed everything else. "I see," was all her could manage out. He was wondering if there was more. There was always more, right?

Tag; @theodosia

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Theodosia shrugged when Zaire said that coming out was overdone. That much she couldn’t disagree with – everyone and their uncle had a story about how coming out had changed their lives for the better or converted some homophobic aunt or something, and after a while, the stories did seem a lot less special. There was some principle to explain it, something her mother was always talking about in reference to the shop, but Theodosia didn’t particularly care about it. Zaire continued by saying that people shouldn’t have to come out, and Theo nodded. People shouldn’t have to come out, which was part of the reason why Theo hadn’t told Zai anything about her preference for women. That was what she told herself, anyways, to justify that her best friend still didn’t know that she was a lesbian. “What do you think is more important?” Theodosia couldn’t help but ask. As far as she knew, there weren’t actually that many problems that the LGBTQ+ community face, except for the lack of potential partners. The only non-heterosexual girl who was worth a damn in that group was Lucy, and that was just ew. There was also Max, but…Theodosia definitely didn’t want to think about Max.

But she had to. She couldn’t, because Zaire was pushing her for answers without pushing at all. That was the worst, because Theodosia couldn’t even justify the rest of the words that came tumbling out of her mouth, couldn’t say they had been because she was under duress. “I saved her, and I don’t know why. She’s just a stupid half-blood who’s the daughter of a werewolf, and she’s…she’s supposed to be worthless.” Theodosia spat the last word out. It tasted like copper in her mouth and she wanted to get it out, but still, nothing was making sense. “I want to know why I saved her, Zai.” Theodosia looked at her best friend pleadingly, hoping that he could give her the answer she so desperately sought.

@zaire

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Zaire watched her reactions to his words, shrugging here and there. There was no look of denial or agreement on her face. Her question had a smirk appearing on his face. He'd thought about it plenty of times before because the problems in the LGBTQ+ community seemed endless. It was enough that LGBTQ+ people were 'othered' by those on the outside but problems were always arising even within the community and it was annoying. What was the point in having a community without the unity? He decided to keep it light anyway "Just imagine, instead of being betrothed to you, since you don't think I'm pretty enough, I'm betrothed to Zabini or Flint? Same-sex betrothals for political power instead of just betrothals based upon breeding ability," he said the last part with a bit of disgust in his voice. He didn't need to worry about producing an heir at the moment and, granted he would marry Theodosia tomorrow if given the chance, it would have been nice to have the option of a male of worth. Maybe that was what he needed to find now. Someone who could help him get over whatever feelings he had for Theodosia and the need to kiss her hand like some sort of gentleman every time she entered a room.

He sat there as her words came out like vomit. She went from calm to disgusted, ascending a ladder of almost panic as she told him her side of the story. When she looked at him, desperation in her eyes, he felt bad. He didn't have an answer for her this time. He was curious himself what would possess someone to disregard what they know, disregard all common sense and knowledge to save someone. It was selfless. It wasn't normal. Maybe it was house unity? Maybe it was some sort of pity? Momentary laspe in judgement? Maybe she'd gone and took on the half-breed as a pet of some sort. Being in close quarters with people often made you feel some sort of comraderie with them. He really didn't know. After a long moment a silence, he shrugged. "I could spout off a bunch of things it could be but that won't make them true. Sounds like you might have to figure that one out. Let me know when you do," he mumbled nonchalantly. His eyes never left hers. He wasn't sure what he was searching for. Or maybe he wasn't searching for anything.

Tag; @theodosia

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Apparently Zaire had given a lot of thought to the issues surrounding the LGBTQ+ community, especially the pureblood subset, and thought Theo knew it wasn’t for her sake, she couldn’t help but feel touched that he had done such a thing. A lot of people thought that Zaire didn’t care about much, and that was true, but when he did care, Theodosia couldn’t think of a single person who cared more than Zaire Shafiq. She felt a stab of guilt at the fact that, someday, their betrothal would be broken so that she could marry another woman. Zaire made a good point, about the same-sex betrothals, though. When children were betrothed, they were often too young to know what their sexual preferences were, and then you had situations like Theo and Zai’s, where one party wasn’t just not attracted to the other, but physically couldn’t be attracted to the other. Theo sighed. “Purebloods would die out, then.” She reminded Zaire. How they hadn’t died out already was beyond Theodosia – all it took was one generation of too many male children, and the pureblood dynasties that had been alive for centuries would crumble with no new blood to sustain them. “But I wouldn’t mind it.” She shrugged. “Being betrothed to a girl, that is.” Maybe that would ease Zaire into the notion of her being a lesbian, Theodosia thought grimly.

“That’s really helpful, Zaire.” Theodosia snapped when her betrothed told her that she would have to figure out on her own why she had saved the Greyback girl. She took a deep breath, and then sighed. “Sorry.” Theo grumbled, even though Zaire probably wouldn’t have asked for an apology. “I don’t know what life is becoming, Zai.” She had been pulled down a rabbit hole of twisted and crazy, and Theodosia didn’t know how she had gotten there. “You’d tell me if I changed, wouldn’t you?” Theodosia asked abruptly. “If I became someone…different?” Someone bad, or someone wrong. Someone who didn’t deserve to be a Slytherin or a Purifier. Theodosia would hate for that to happen, but if it did happen…she wanted to know. She didn't want to be left in the dark.

@zaire

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At her mention of purebloods dying out he scoffed. It wasn't a very polite sounding scoff but he didn't really care. She was his best friend so she knew it wasn't actually directed her at. Some of the pureblood lines did need to die out as he was quite sure stupidity ran in them. Either way, they didn't need to die out. There were perfectly viable ways to have children without having to be married to the person you're having them with. Breeding ability is not power. He'd rather marry someone with the potential to become equally as powerful as he rather than just someone who's sole responsibility was to provide him with a child. "We could figure that out later. I would rather solidify my power first then worry about carrying on my lineage later." What was the use in carrying on a lineage without any power. Babies were a lot of work anyway and he wouldn't dare leave the raising of his children solely to a nanny. That's how some of the other pureblooded children ended up with issues. "But I wouldn't mind it. Being betrothed to a girl, that is." He nodded at her words. He couldn't imagine her being betrothed to any of the girls in Hexen but those were the girls she deemed most worthy in the school. "I would hope not," he smirked. She knew he was attracted to men and her not being okay with it would seriously bring in to question her logic of being friends with him much less them still being betrothed and a plethora of other things.

Her outburst had barely hidden amusement appearing on his face and her apology didn't help. Her outburst was just an emotional response. He didn't mind it. The next words out of her mouth gave him pause. He couldn't really relate. As of late his life was kind of boring. There was nothing going on, and though he wouldn't admit it otherwise, he really didn't have anything going for him. There were not revelations, not life-changing events, nothing testing him. Everything was normal. He sighed. He couldn't just throw words out there and try and give her some false hope. "I'm sure one way or another everything is going to even out, Theo. You don't have to panic yet," he stated. "I don't think we have to worry about you changing. But if you do, I'll let you know. At the very least, she's a half-breed. Still incredibly low in the hierarchy but half nonetheless. Now if you start playing hero for mudbloods, then we'll have something to worry about." He was going with momentary lapse in judgement. She wasn't going to miraculously turn into a half-blood and mudblood loving blood traitor. He didn't think he had anything to worry about though her behavior was still puzzling. She'd be fine. "You'll be fine."

Tag; @theodosia

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Theodosia rolled her eyes at Zaire’s scoff. Some of his political views differed from her own, that was for sure. Maybe that was part of the reason that their parents had put them together, Theodosia mused – because they would challenge each other’s ways of thinking, instead of just accepting what the other said as truth. She doubted that her parents thought that hard about the match, but it was nice to think that maybe Zaire had been chosen for her beyond just his blood status and gender. Theo shrugged when Zaire said that they could figure out the pureblood lines dying out later. “It’s a problem whether or not we allow homosexual couples.” Theodosia added fairly, choosing to ignore the comment about solidifying political power. “You know, I’ve heard they do that for animals – decide which pairs should breed to up genetic diversity.” They were barely better than animals in some other ways, with the way some purebloods insisted on parading their children around, so they might as well be honest about it and gain the extra bonus of continuing pureblood lines ad infinitum. Theodosia was slightly glad that Zaire smirked at her admission that she wouldn’t mind being betrothed to a girl, but also slightly disappointed. He had missed her allusion to the fact that she might not be straight. Either that, or he noticed it, and he just didn’t care.

Zaire’s reaction to her outburst was fairly stereotypical – things would even out, yada yada yada. He did have a point, though, in the fact that she had saved a half-blood, and not a Mudblood. “Ugh. If I ever get that bad, please learn the Unforgiveable Curses, and then use them all on me.” Theodosia said, rolling her eyes. She doubted Zai would do that, since it would land him in jail, even if she did consent to having them used on her, but it was more the sentiment behind it that mattered. “What did I do to deserve you, Zaire Shafiq?” Theodosia asked, shaking her head. “Guess that’s the one thing my parents got right, huh?” Maybe Theodosia’s parents weren’t the smartest or the most influential purebloods, but they had picked her the best fiancé there was.

@zaire

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He listened to her words intently, a smirk slowly spreading on his face. There wasn't any mirth to it though. It was malice. He delighted in his pureblood status and respected others with that were similarly titled, acknowledgement of all who qualified as elite. But he would be lying if he said he agreed with all bylaws and customs that their society created. This was one of those things, forced betrothals solely based on birthing abilities without any thought for the others involved. They were pushed together like experimental animals. It was a shame and a sham. "Careful. If we tell them that we'll be reprimanded and they'll call us blood traitors" he let out an empty laugh. He didn't actually care. There wasn't anyone around anyway and there were plenty of ways to persuade someone to shut their mouth. He didn't even need his wand.

When she spoke and rolled her eyes, Zaire frowned. Without hesitation the words poured out of him. "Don't say that. I could never harm you Theodosia." his brow was furrowed as he looked at her. He knew she wasn't serious but he couldn't help but stress that. Even in theory the thought of hurting her made him cringe. Realizing that he was getting weird on her he moved his gaze away from her and looked at something across the room like he was sincerely curious about it. "What did I do to deserve you, Zaire Shafiq?." her words made him smile and he shook his head. He could ask the same honestly. "You say that now but when we first met you thought otherwise. The way you looked at me," he snickered. "We've come so far," he shook his head jokingly. grinning at her. His parents didn't allow him to come to initial meeting so he hadn't actually met Theodosia until their first year at Hogwarts. She'd sized him up and immediately deemed him not worthy. Now she was his best friend. And, dare he say it, the first woman he actively wanted to be married to.



Tag; @theodosia

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Theodosia chuckled a little at Zaire’s comments about blood traitors. “Honestly, I think that might be the newest fad, betraying your blood.” The Malfoys had done it, and the Flints didn’t look much better. Of all of the people in Slytherin house who were purebloods, Theodosia thought it might have just been her, Zaire, and Viovinnia Nott who weren’t blood traitors or related to blood traitors. Unless she was forgetting someone, in which case, they probably weren’t important anyways. Important people rarely escaped Theodosia’s notice. “Soon there’s going to be nothing left to betray.” It was an ominous prophecy, and Theodosia knew that she was probably making too big of a deal out of their perceived flaws in pureblood societies, but she did worry. What was the point in being pureblood if no one respected them for it anymore? Theo fidgeted uncomfortably, glad when they were able to move on to a different subject.

“Zai, darling, try not to let your brain ooze out of your ears.” It should have sounded like an insult, but Theodosia had always been soft on Zaire. How couldn’t she be? He was her best friend. “Do you really think I’d want to continue living an existence like that? Shamed? Unloved? Disowned?” And of course he would never hurt her on purpose, but Theodosia liked to think that, at the end of the day, Zaire would put her happiness first. It was a selfish thought, but Theo had never pretended to be selfless. “Don’t remind me.” Theo said with a laugh when Zaire mentioned their first meeting. “I was wrong.” And they had come so far. Four years together, and preparing for their fifth…It was the sort of friendship that people dreamed about, even if they weren’t as keen on the specifics of how Zaire and Theodosia spent their time together. Next to Zaire, Maxima Greyback was…insignificant. Not because Theodosia had figured out her feelings, but because somehow, Theo believed that Zaire would have loved her anyways.

@zaire

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He frowned at her comment, thinking for a moment about the pureblooded families who were betraying their blood. She was right. It was becoming way too common. Even those who were betrothed were beginning to fall off and fall for others of lesser status, mudbloods and halfbloods. It was puzzling. Why weren't they more conscious? What was it about the mudbloods and halfbloods that had them falling over themselves to forget everything they were taught. Even more, what was it about the purebloods that had them thinking it was okay? He looked up at Theodosia for a moment. Why couldn't they be like him. Theodosia was a beautiful, well rounded, funny, intelligent pureblooded woman. He was bethrothed to her and, even though she didn't want him, he wanted her. She was proper. She was respectable. And if she allowed it, they would continue his house at a point in the far future. His line would remain pure. "It's a good thing I've never been one to follow trends," he stated cooly.

Zaire looked away from her then, pensive. He wasn't sure why he kept feeling sorry for himself. It wasn't like he'd told her how he felt about her, for good reason though. Feeling like this was humiliating enough but to put it out in the open, knowing she didn't feel the same way. It was opening up to a load of criticism and insults. Yeah, she was his best friend but what if it got out? He didn't want people looking at him in pity or trying to talk to him just because of it. He didn't know why he felt so annoyed when she didn't take him seriously. "Who would?" He left the rest of what he wanted to say unspoken. When she laughed talking about their first meeting, her saying she was wrong, he grinned at her. "I was wrong too. Who knew I'd get a best friend out of it," amusement was spread all over his face and he thought about how much they'd grown together. It wouldn't be long before they were gearing up for graduation. After that? Their marriage. The thought of it always filled him with equal parts awe and sadness. Awe because of the fact that he did want to marry her. Sadness because she didn't want to marry him. She was his best friend still and he wanted her to be happy.

Tag; @theodosia

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Theodosia chuckled when Zaire said that he wasn’t one to follow trends, especially not the trend of betraying his own blood. “I think I’m the same way.” Theodosia mused. There was the situation with Maxima, but the longer she talked with Zaire, the more Theodosia was beginning to think that she had just been horribly confused and traumatized. Shock could be like that. Yes, she had been shocked into action, the adrenaline of seeing someone near death forcing her body to do things that might not have otherwise been done – like saving a half-blood. That was a good enough excuse, Theodosia thought. “When are we going to get married?” Theodosia asked suddenly. Maybe, once the two of them were married, Theodosia could…not be a lesbian? She was being ridiculous. But if they were married, then Theodosia wouldn’t be tempted to stray, especially not by someone of impure blood.

“Don’t people say they dream of marrying their best friends?” Theodosia asked. That was what everyone seemed to be gushing about – I’m so glad I get to marry my best friend! Ugh. It was so saccharine. “At least we know that we’re telling the truth.” Because there were people who were so sure that they were marrying the right person, and then got divorced. But no matter what happened, Theodosia and Zaire were going to stay together.

@zaire