your lion’s heart will protect you under stormy skies [hugo]

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Xan had been watching the skies through the window of the hospital wing all morning. Clouds had hovered like a thick gray blanket for the past day or two, but that morning they finally had gotten thick enough and dark enough that Xan was certain that they were going to release their burden soon. The temperature outside was hovering just around freezing, and Xan wasn't sure what precipitation would be coming. If it rained, it was probably going to be the last rain of the year. If it snowed, it would be the first snow. It had become Xan's entertainment, watching as the sky grew darker and wondering whether or not it would snow. The best part about being slightly feverish was that she could press her face against the frosty glass of the window and keep it there for several minutes before she actually started to feel the cold. Just as Xan was withdrawing her face from the window, she saw something white drift past the window - a single snowflake. When Xan's cheeks pulled into a smile, she was surprised to find that a tear was rolling down her face, fast and even warmer than her flushed skin. Xan wiped it away, and watched as the snow began to fall thicker and faster. Winter was here for real now, and still, Xan was in the hospital wing, watching the world fly by her from the wrong side of a window.

@hugo

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A storm was coming. Hugo knew that it was, it was almost like he could feel the air telling him that things were about to change outside. A part of him was disappointed. Hu liked fall. He liked the leaves changing colors, the crisp morning air and now things were about to get cold. Then again, snow was fun. Besides that, if he remembered right, Xan liked snow. Maybe it would be able to cheer her up. He couldn't help but worry about her. She'd been sick for months now and there were still no breakthroughs on anything that could help her get better. He still knew she would get better somehow, but he knew that she did not share his belief. In fact, she seemed to think the opposite more firmly every day.

As soon as he could get away from his schoolwork, Hugo made his way down to the Hospital Wing, as he often did nowadays. As he passed windows on his way, he saw how dark the sky was. He opened the door to the library just in time to see what looked like the beginning of the snowstorm. At first there were only a couple of small snowflakes, but then more and more started floating down. He was watching the snow from his periphery though because his attention was focused on Xan. Her face was close to the window as she stared outside, a smile covering her face as she watched the snow, but a tear fell down her cheek at the same time. She wiped it away before Hugo could get to her, but he rushed across the room to approach her, grabbing a chair and pulling it with him to place beside her. "Xan," he said when he reached her. He sat down on the chair he brought and grabbed her hand in an effort to get her to focus on him. "Why are you crying? I thought you would be enjoying the snow?" He watched her face carefully, trying to read her expressions.

@xanthippe

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Xan hadn’t realized that Hugo was in the room. Normally as soon as he came in, she lit up, but this time was different. Somehow, seeing him only made her feel worse. She couldn’t show him that, though, because Hugo would feel guilty about making her feel anything less than happy. Hugo grabbed her hand, and it was warm in hers. Xan gave his hand a squeeze, so that he knew that though she wasn’t able to meet his eyes, she still appreciated his presence. When Hugo asked why she was crying, Xan shook her head a little. She didn’t want to answer the question, because the answer was just so…sad. “I want to go outside, Hugo.” She answered softly. Xan couldn’t remember the last time she had been outside for longer than a minute or two. When it was nice out, the nurses left the windows to the hospital wing open, but that wasn’t the same as being outside. “And I don’t want time to keep passing.” Xan sighed. “Because every day that goes by, I…” Xan couldn’t get the words out, but Hugo could guess what she meant. Every day that went by, her hopes of getting better got smaller and dimmer, like a candle that was running out of wax to burn. “When I first got here, there were leaves on the trees. Green leaves.” Those leaves had died and fallen and were now being covered in snow, and Xan was still in the hospital wing, without an end to her illness in sight.

@hugo

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Hugo couldn't handle seeing Xan like this. Even for his confidence that things would turn out fine, it broke his heart to see her sitting in the hospital, looking outside longingly. She should not have to go through this! She had so much life and energy and he couldn't beaer to see it bottled up like this. When she actually admitted that she wanted to go outside, Hugo's mind was made up. If she wanted to go outside, then outside she would go. He looked around the hospital wing to see if he could catch a healer and ask for permission. Well, more like tell them what he was going to do. He wouldn't let them stop him. However, no one was in sight. Ah, just as well. This way no one would even try to stop him. Still, he decided to wait for her to finish speaking before he acted. Hugo closed his eyes. "I know you probably don't believe this, but you're going to get better Xan. I know it! I wish I knew when, but I don't yet. And it doesn't matter how much time passes, I'll be here to help you through it." His eyes searched hers as he tried to convince her of the truth of his words without saying anything else. After a short while he smiled, "Now, I'm going to help you in the only way I know how so don't you dare even think of fighting me, Xanthippe Meagle." He stood up and looked at her for a second, cocking his head to the side before he bent back down and scooped her out of the chair she'd been sitting on so she was cradled in his arms. "We're going to take a little walk outside," he whispered mischievously. He might get into trouble for this, but he didn't care. He wasn't going to watch her sit at the window, staring at something that he could take her out to see, even if it was just for a few minutes.

@xanthippe

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Hugo said that she didn’t believe that she was going to get better, and Xan didn’t deny it. There was so little that was known about her disease, including how to cure it or how to tell if someone was going to die from it. Hugo said that he knew she was going to live, that she was going to get better, and as much as Xan wanted to believe it, she didn’t know how. Hugo’s visions changed all the time. They weren’t flawless, because the future wasn’t set in stone. And making him check, over and over, every day – that was just cruel. So she didn’t ask him to see if her future had changed from the one they had together. At least he was going to be there, Xan thought with a sigh. He would be there, even if things did end poorly. She nodded at that, another tear squeezing out of her eyes as she did so.

Xan wasn’t sure what Hugo was saying, about her fighting him, until he scooped her into his arms. Xan let out a little shriek of surprise, but didn’t fight, as per Hugo’s instructions. “Are we really?” She asked incredulously when Hugo declared they were going to walk outside. She had never thought to ask to go outside, especially since there were days she could barely handle a walk to the bathroom. She wasn’t going to protest, though. Xan wanted to see the snow from the right side of the window.

@hugo

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Xan didn't say anything, but she was still crying and Hugo hated that fact. She shouldn't have to deal with this. Out of all the people he knew, Xanthippe was naturally one of the most kind and cheerful people that he knew. It just felt wrong that she was stuck in this situation, with no real end in sight. He wanted to look into her future so he could reassure her of what he already knew, but she asked him a while ago not to do that and he had no intention of going against her wishes.

He smiled at her obvious delight when he told her what he was doing. "Yes we are. You need some fresh air and a little contact with some snowflakes," he answered softly. Carrying her wasn't hard and Hugo took her out of the Hospital wing quickly, before anyone could stop him. He moved through the corridors confidently until he got to a door that led outside. "Hey Xan, want to twist that handle for me?" he asked, still holding her close. It was a nice feeling, cradling her in his arms. He wasn't sure when he was actually going to let her go, even though he knew she could take care of herself. Probably.

@xanthippe

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Xan was ready to cry even harder when Hugo said that she was actually going outside. They would be happy tears, of course, but Xan was worried that if she burst into sobs then Hugo would just decide against the whole idea, so Xan held them in, sniffling a little. “I can’t believe I’m going outside.” She whispered, more to herself than to Hugo, though she was sure that her boyfriend would be able to hear her. They moved through the corridors quickly, and Xan couldn’t help but wonder when Hugo had gotten so strong. Then again, she had lost a lot of weight over the course of the last few months, so maybe it wasn’t as surprising that he was able to carry her so easily. When they stopped at one of the doors that led outside, Xan was already reaching for the handle before Hugo even asked her to – he didn’t have a free hand to do it, after all. Xan opened the door, and took a deep breath of fresh, icy air. A single snowflake drifted in, and Xan stuck out her tongue. The flake drifted by her, but it didn’t much matter. Soon she’d be outside, and there would be plenty of snowflakes to catch. “Let’s go, Hugo!” Xan urged him. She knew she was being impatient, but she didn’t care. She wanted to feel the grass on her feet, the wind in her hair, the snow falling around her. Xan wanted to feel alive.

@hugo

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When she whispered that she couldn’t believe she was going outside, Hugo felt terrible. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone outside with her and he had no idea when she’d been out last. “How long has it been?” he asked hesitantly. He needed to know this so he could make sure she didn’t have to wait so long again. He knew how much Xan loved being outdoors; he should have realized that her missing autumn would be a difficult thing, but he hadn’t even thought of it. She opened the door so he could step out and he froze for a second, smiling as he saw the snow falling. Then Xan urged him to go outside and he unfroze. Hugo hurried outside, until they were encompassed about by falling snow. Then he set her on her feet. “If you get too cold, let me know,” he told her. Hugo knew that Xan hated when people worried about her, but he couldn’t help it. If he let her stay outside too long and she got even sicker because of prolonged contact with the snow, he would definitely have a hard time forgiving himself. “What do you want to do first?” he asked with a smile.

@xanthippe

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Hugo asked how long it had been since she had bene outside, and Xan hesitated. She actually had no idea. She tried to wrack her brain for an answer, but none was forthcoming, which was probably evidence of just how long it had been. “I don’t know. Too long.” Xan answered slowly. She tried not to sound too melancholy about the fact, wanting to focus instead on the fact that Hugo was stepping through the doorway, and she was out of the school. Standing on her own two feet was strange after being carried, but Xan didn’t care. “I don’t think I could feel cold even if I wanted to.” And she wouldn’t tell Hugo anyways, for fear that he would take her back inside. Xan turned her face up to the sky, and took a slow, deep breath, enjoying the pricks of snowflakes on her warm cheeks and the feeling of the wind combing through her hair. Xan grabbed Hugo’s hand, craning her neck back once again and opening her mouth to catch snowflakes on her tongue, hoping that not all of them would miss her like the one in the corridor had. “Let’s do this!” Xan said, though she didn’t retract her tongue, and she wondered if Hugo could understand her.

@hugo

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Well, that sealed it. Hugo was officially a bad boyfriend. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been outside, which almost certainly meant that she missed autumn entirely. He should have realized that. Granted, he knew he couldn't take all the blame and that it wasn't only his fault she hadn't been outside, but he still felt guilty about it. He wanted her to be happy and he knew that one of the places where Xan was happiest was outside. "I'm sorry Xan. I'll work on that," he told her softly. Hugo was sure she didn't want him to feel bad, but it was already done and Hu was determined that it wasn't going to happen again. 

He smiled as he watched her stand in the falling snow. She was beautiful and Hugo couldn't imagine a better moment right now. She seemed to agree, telling him that she couldn't feel cold if she wanted to. That meant she was happy right now, he thought. He watched her as she threw her head back and opened her mouth, obviously trying to catch snowflakes. She grabbed her hand and Hugo laughed as he followed suit, tipping his head back and opening her mouth. He couldn't keep himself from laughing again when she said "Let's do this". Yup, she was definitely happier than she'd been in a while. "I thought we were already doing this," Hugo teased as he glanced at her again before going back to his catching snowflakes position. He was perfectly content following her lead today. After all, she was the one that hadn't been outside in ages.

@xanthippe

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Hugo immediately apologized for her not being outside as much, and Xan shrugged. “It’s not your fault, Hu.” It was nobody’s fault. Everyone just wanted her to get better, and Xan understood that. She wanted to get better, too, and if being inside most of the time somehow helped her with that, then she would stay inside as much as possible. But it was hard, to be cooped up inside like a caged animal, especially since there were days she couldn’t even muster the energy to walk down the hallway, let alone explore the entire castle that she had at her disposal. Technically, she could probably go to the Room of Requirement and pretend she was outside, but the room was a further walk than the doors to the actual outside, so that seemed to be a fairly silly substitute.

Xan turned to look at Hugo for a second when he said he thought they were already doing this, grinning at him. “Well, then let’s keep doing this.” She amended with a laugh. “I don’t think there’s enough snow for a snowman or anything.” At least not yet. And when there was, Xan was hopeful that she and Hugo could sneak out again and have even more fun.

@hugo

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Xan saying that it wasn't his fault did nothing to quash the guilt that Hugo felt. He knew Xan, knew how much she loved being free and being outdoors, yet he'd forgotten. The joy on her face when she was first outside was enough for him to decide that he wouldn't let that happen again. Even if he had to make a deal with the healers to figure out when he could bring her out, he was going to make more of an effort. Hugo was certain that Xan would come out of this alright, but he didn't want her to be miserable the entire time she was sick. His job as her boyfriend was to do his best to lift her. He shrugged, "I'm still sorry you've been so cooped up," he said, not telling her his thoughts. Maybe surprising her by bringing her out more often would be a good way to go.

When Xan told him that they should keep on doing this, Hugo's smile widened, "Alright." He pulled his hand out of hers and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her so she was right next to him. He did this without looking, still having his mouth open so it could catch snowflakes. "Maybe later there will be," he told her, though it wasn't snowing hard enough that they would be able to build a snowman today. Hopefully if his plan worked they'd be able to do it later, on another day.

@xanthippe

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Xan just shrugged when Hugo apologized again, for her being cooped up. Her original assurance that it was really okay hadn’t seem to do much as far as assuaging his guilt, so she would just waste breath assuring him anymore. Right now, breath was a little harder to come by – even though she hadn’t walked down herself, being so excited was making her hyperventilate a little. Xan got her breathing under control relatively quickly once she noticed there was a problem, which was a good thing, since she didn’t want to cut short her outside time for any reason, especially not something that she could help.

“I bet you I can catch more snowflakes than you.” Xan told Hugo mischievously. She wasn’t the best snowflake catcher, and the fact that she was still running a fever wouldn’t help her chances much, but Xan still wanted to do something to make this whole thing a little more than just standing out in the cold. “The winner has to do a silly dance for the loser.” She said, since there had to be terms for the competition and it wasn’t like she could offer Hugo much more than that.

@hugo

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Hugo grinned when Xan suggested a game. He loved doing things like this with her. In fact, this was something he'd missed since she got sick. Just having fun and spending time with one another. Sure, it sounded cheesy, but he still loved it. "Catch more ... in our mouths?" He asked, just to be sure. He didn't want to lose just because he assumed something and was wrong. Hugo could be quite competitive when he wanted to be. "You'd better get ready to do a silly dance for me then," he told her with a wide smile. Honestly, Hu wasn't sure if he'd win or not and if he didn't, he had no problem dancing for her, but it was more fun to talk confidently. "Let's start on the count of three. One, two, three!"

@xanthippe

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Xan chuckled when her boyfriend clarified if they would be catching their snowflakes in their mouths. “Unless you have some other place to catch snowflakes.” Xan teased. There were their hands to consider, but as far as Xan knew, catching snowflakes in your hands wasn’t a common pastime. Maybe more so when wearing gloves, but Xan hadn’t thought to put on gloves, mostly because the entire decision to come outside had been…spontaneous, to say the least. “You will be the one dancing for me, mister!” Xan said with a laugh. Hugo counted up to three to begin their competition. Immediately three snowflakes drifted into Xan’s mouth. “I got three!” She called to Hugo, still keeping her tongue out so that she could continue to catch the flakes.

@hugo