i'm reaching out to you [evelyn]

[Deleted]

Hi. I hope you don't mind me sending you a letter, but I enjoyed getting to talk to you when we met the other day in the Alley, and I wasn't sure if my schedule would let us see each other again in person. So...how have you been?

@evelyn

[Deleted]

Dear Natalia,

Thank you for the letter! I'm not particularly good at answering, so if I take a while to respond, I'm sorry. I promise I'm not trying to avoid you or anything. I enjoyed our conversation too. It's been a while since I've talked to someone outside of my team. 

I'm good! Just doing a lot of practicing for Quidditch, as per usual. The other day I went down to Africa. That was fun. Other than that, not much is going on with me. How have you been??

            ~Evelyn
@natalia

[Deleted]

It's alright, I’m not much good at answering, either. I’ve only really been exchanging owls regularly with my sister, and that’s more of the exception than the rule. Even if you were trying to avoid me, I wouldn’t mine. I avoid people sometimes, too.

Africa! Why’d you go down to Africa? With whom? I haven’t had a vacation in forever. I’m hoping that Christmas will provide some respite, but I’m not sure.

@evelyn

[Deleted]

Dear Natalia,

Well I'm glad I'm not alone in that. Actually, that's something I like about you. You understand me when it comes to not knowing how to talk to people. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wouldn't ever avoid you on purpose because it's nice having someone who understands me. How is work going at the hospital?

Oh, I just went to Africa with a friend. For fun. His name is Rocco. It was neat because I've never been there before so everything was fascinating! I want to go back sometime soon, but I don't know if I'll be able to. You should go there sometime! Why haven't you had a vacation in such a long time? Growing up, my parents took us out every summer. Granted, we didn't go to fun places, we went to educational ones, but it was always something I could look forward to.

            ~Evelyn
@natalia

[Deleted]

I think I understand. It’s a lot easier to talk to other people who don’t like to talk to people, because you know that if you ever get emotionally or mentally worn out, they won’t judge you for it. Work at the hospital is picking up a little as we get closer to the holiday season. Apparently there’s been a mistletoe alternative that’s been injuring a lot of people.

Ooh, a man friend? I don’t know whether or not you know this, but I pretended my boyfriend was just my friend for a long time, to keep my parents from finding out. But friend or not, Africa sounds like a lot of fun. If you ever want a travelling buddy, I wouldn’t mind having an excuse to ask for time off from the hospital. Then again, we don’t actually know each other that well, so maybe that would be more stressful than fun.

@evelyn

[Deleted]

Dear Natalia,

Exactly! I'm glad you understand everything. It's nice having someone who won't get offended if I'm not in a talky mood. I appreciate that. A mistletoe alternative? What has it been doing to injure people exactly? (Sorry, I can't help but ask)

Yes it's a man. It's ... kind of a secret though. Like, not even my best friend knows about it and I'm scared to tell him. The thing is, he plays Quidditch too so it's like dating the competition, which my teammates would not approve of at all. Africa was great! I like doing things for the thrill, so I had lots of fun going to a new place. And travelling with you actually sounds like fun. We would get to know one another better while we were on the move. If you want.

            ~Evelyn
@natalia

[Deleted]

Basically, when people kissed under it, it would drop onto their heads and burn them, I guess. I never dealt with any of those cases – I just took the other simpler ones so the more experienced Healers could deal with the real threat.

Oh. Sorry – I didn’t mean to press you into revealing something you weren’t comfortable with. I won’t tell anyone, in case that was a worry for you. Dating the competition isn’t that bad, is it? I’m sure that people have done it before. It might not be as big of a deal as you think it is. My boyfriend is my family’s sworn enemy – literally – so I guess I believe a little (a lot) in love. Can we wait until after Christmas to try to go someplace together? That would be a good getting-to-know you thing, if I could swing it on my budget.

@evelyn

[Deleted]

Dear Natalia,

Well that sounds interesting. Honestly, something like that doesn't make any sense to me, why people would do things like that. Doing things to hurt others just because you can seems pointless. I am glad you guys were able to take care of it. 

No don't be sorry. If I didn't want to say anything about it, I wouldn't. Telling someone is kind of a relief. It's been a secret for so long. I do appreciate that you won't tell anyone though. He probably wouldn't be happy if he found out someone knew. I'm not going to say his name though, just so I can feel like I still kept it a secret. I'm sure people have, but my team is very close-knit and very competitive. I think they would be nervous that I'll go easy on him or something in a game. I won't. Mostly, I don't want to deal with their reactions. After Christmas would be great! I actually have quite a few plans for the holidays. Are you doing anything fun?

            ~Evelyn
@natalia

[Deleted]

I don’t really understand it, either. I don’t know. Sometimes people see all the darkness in the world, and they get consumed by it. And all you need is one light, just one spark, to show you that the world isn’t all dark, it isn’t all bad, and you can change. I just feel bad for the people who don’t have that light.

I’m glad that I could be a confidante, then. I won’t tell anyone, especially since there’s not really much to tell. We’re not in Hogwarts anymore, so who’s dating who isn’t honestly that big of a deal. I’m sorry that he wouldn’t be happy about that. Close-knit team is kind of a double-edged sword, then? I know you mentioned your best friend – I assume he’s one of your team members, and that’s why you don’t want to tell him? As for the holidays, I’m going to be spending them with my boyfriend’s family, I think. My family is all at Hogwarts for the Yule Ball, so I don’t want to distract them or anything.

@evelyn

[Deleted]

Dear Natalia,

That's a good way of looking at it. And it makes me want to try and be a light for others, you know. I mean, you know I'm not good at relationships with people or interactions or whatever, but it makes me want to help the people that I do know, if they need it.

Well I appreciate that. He probably wouldn't be happy about it because keeping it a secret is my idea, not his. I'm the one that doesn't want to tell people yet, mostly because I don't know how to tell my team and I don't want to make them mad at me. So I just want to keep it a secret as long as I can. He'd probably be frustrated that I broke the secret I'm asking him to keep. Does that make sense? Yeah, my best friend is one of my teammates- Dustin Bainbridge, in fact. He's great, but he can have a temper and he's the one person- other than the guy I'm dating- that knows the real me and still sticks around. Like, he understands me even when I'm not making any sense. I just don't want to upset him. Especially since I'm not sure this other relationship is going to last. I want it to, but you never know. 

Well that should be fun, right? Spending the holidays with your boyfriend. Do you get to see him a lot? It's a shame your family won't be coming back during the holidays, but it makes sense. The Yule Ball is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, isn't it?

            ~Evelyn
@natalia

[Deleted]

I understand what you mean. I’m still working on clinging on to my own light, so I’m not sure I’m ready to be a light quite yet.

Oh, I see. Well, couldn’t you explain that you only feel comfortable telling certain people? He’ll have to understand that it’s easier to tell someone that isn’t inside your Quidditch world bubble, right? I understand why it can be frustrating, but I also understand that relationships are about compromise, and it might be okay to tell certain people but not others. I think I’ve heard the name Bainbridge – he was in my graduating year at Hogwarts, in my boyfriend’s house. If this Dustin guy is really your friend, he shouldn’t care who you’re dating.

I get to see James pretty often, yes. He’s taking some time after school to figure out what he wants to do as a career, so whenever I’m not at work, I can be with him, since I know he won’t be at work, either. I think after the holidays he might be a little busier, though. Well, my adoptive father is the Headmaster of the school, so if he’s still there in fifteen years’ time, it’s a twice-in-a-lifetime experience. I think some of the teachers also might have been in school the last time there was a Tournament, so again, twice-in-a-lifetime. But I understand what you mean.

@evelyn

[Deleted]

Dear Natalia,

I'm trying to be a light. Not sure how good of one I am. I'm only good at shining for myself. But I think you're very nice and helpful to those around you. Especially considering where you work.

I suppose I could. I'm just not sure how he'll respond. Or when I get to see him next. Our schedules are very different so we don't get to spend a lot of time with one another. I appreciate your point of view. Maybe he'll see it that way. Yes, Dustin graduated last year, and he also was on our Quidditch team, so I'm not sure how close he was to people at school since he spent so much time outside of it. I hope he won't care, but I'm not sure. Dustin can be pretty intense when he wants to be. 

That's cool, that you get to see James so much. I'm actually a little jealous of that, to be completely honest with you, but if he doesn't have a job then that's logical. Well it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience for most people that are there, and I feel like the experience would be different if you were a student compared to if you were a teacher. I'm assuming some of your family there would be students? And if they are, then they would want to be there for the social aspect. Probably. 

I hope you're well and that the holidays aren't stressing you out too much.

            ~Evelyn
@natalia

[Deleted]

I think you’re a light just fine. I’m not sure if being helpful and being a light are the same thing, though. I don’t know, maybe my metaphor is just getting too complicated. We Ravenclaws like complicated metaphors, though, don’t we?

I’m sorry that you don’t get to see him that often – that must be hard. I’m glad you find my point of view useful. I’m trying to get better about expressing my opinions, since my household wasn’t exactly supportive of that when I was growing up. I don’t recall ever having a conversation with Dustin, or most people, for that matter. I understand the intensity thing, though – intense to love, intense to hate. Gryffindors are poor at finding middle ground, I’ve found. But that’s what makes them so lovely, too, don’t you think?

Like I said, the endless time together is probably going to be ending soon when James finds a new job. My family is kind of complicated, since I was adopted. Basically, my adoptive mother and father are both staff at the school – Neville is the headmaster, Hannah is a nurse – and two of my adoptive siblings (and one of my blood siblings) are students. All Gryffindors. But, one of my adoptive siblings is in Castelobruxo right now, so it’s actually just the four of them right now. Sorry, was that confusing?

The holidays aren’t stressing me so much as my family, but it will be alright.

@evelyn

[Deleted]

Dear Natalia,

You're right, we probably are getting a bit complicated with our metaphor, but I still like it. I still think being helpful is a way to be a light. It lifts those around you, you know. 

I think you are doing a good job expressing your opinions. And if you ever want someone to practice on, feel free do use me. Yeah, Gryffindors do have a way of being very intense in their emotions, but that is one of the things I like about Dustin. That and how I know that he'll always be there for me if I need him. Then again, I guess that fits back in with the intensity point. Yes, Gryffindors are lovely. 

Is he looking for a job then? What kind of work is he interested in? Oh, wait. Neville as in Professor Longbottom? I didn't realize that's who we were looking for presents for the other day. Now I feel a little ridiculous. No, that all made sense. I feel like I should have realized that the other day, but it all makes sense now. My family is easy. It's just me and my parents, who nobody knows because they are muggles. 

Well I know we haven't known one another long, but if you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me about anything.

            ~Evelyn
@natalia

[Deleted]

I think it’s easier to do in writing. Expressing my opinions, I mean. It’s not that different from writing an essay for class, which is something I’m fairly good at. Having to give a speech, though, not so much. Children are meant to be seen, not heard, and all of that. Yes, the intensity is one thing that I like about James, too. It’s good to know that the intensity doesn’t stop at romantic relationships, though. I would’ve thought Hufflepuffs would be more loyal than Gryffindors, but what you’re saying about Gryffindors is making me reconsider. I don’t know many Hufflepuffs.

Yes, I think he’s looking for work. I don’t know what he’ll end up doing, but I don’t think he wants to do Quidditch, which is what a lot of people expected him to do when he graduated. Yes, Neville as in Professor Longbottom. It’s not ridiculous – most people aren’t used to using their former professors’ first names. I only use it because it was the choice between that and Dad, and I don’t know if I’m really ready for the latter. You’re a Muggleborn? That sounds lovely! Easy to buy gifts for.

Thank you, Evelyn. I appreciate that, but I’m afraid I’m a bit in over my head, and I don’t want to drag anyone else down with me.

@evelyn