And the Stars Look Very Different Today (OPEN)

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'Twas the night before Christmas, and Taylor Fortescue was spending it in the last place on earth that they wanted to be on such a night: St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Just in time for the holidays, their father's health had hit another rough patch, and Kegan hadn't been showing up for xyr part-time shifts at the ice cream parlor. Fortunately, no one went out looking to buy ice cream on Christmas Eve, so work that morning hadn't been hellish.

The staff seemed to have gone to some effort to make the hospital feel as though it really was Christmas, though it was difficult for Taylor to remain particularly cheerful while their father was being treated in Magical Bugs and Diseases. Rosalie, as far as Taylor knew, was still on the ward to be of support to their mother. Taylor had stayed there for as long as they could take it, but they needed some fresh air that didn't involve having to hear about how their mother should have brought their father into hospital sooner than she had and how he would be lucky if he made it to the new year.

Taylor, who knew the hospital like the back of their hand by this point, had gone up to the visitors' tearoom. Instead of purchasing anything, however, they found themselves a chair and sat down immediately, running a hand through their hair. “F**k…” They hadn't wanted to begin crying, but, once they had, they weren't sure if they would be able to stop. If their father was going to die, he couldn't have picked a worse time to do it.

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@taylor

tonight was his last shift before he got to take a few days off. he'd been back at work for a little while after his battle with dragon pox during the last month and he'd been granted some time off between christmas and new years. though he was working the night shift on new years day it was a small price to pay to be able to go to the new years eve ball with susan and to surprise her at the yule ball tomorrow night. he yawned as he ran his hand over his face, walking to the visitors lounge where he knew he could get a decent coffee. he could go to the staff room but this one was closer to his office and he needed the drink as soon as he could. as he walked into the room he stopped for a second when he saw someone he had gone to school with sitting at one of the tables. “F**k…” he rubbed his hand over the back of his neck as he walked to the counter, poured out two paper cups of coffee and grabbed some of the little packets of sugar the hospital provided for the muggle born patients and workers. he carried them both to the table and set one down in front of taylor and he moved to sit down at one of the chairs at the table. "drink it. it'll help" he said quietly. he'd known that taylor's father had been sick for a while, it was all around the hospital and a lot of the kids that had grown up going to diagon alley knew the man who had run the ice cream shop. free samples had been a highlight of casey's childhood.

if i mess up on the they/them pronouns just shoot me a friendly reminder

[Deleted]

It took Taylor a few moments to realize that they had been joined by someone else. In fact, it was only the sound of a voice that drew their attention to Casey Finnegan, who had sat down with them. “Drink it,” he instructed. “It'll help.”

Taylor wasn't really one for coffee, but they took the cup that Casey offered them. It was more about the gesture than the choice of beverage itself, and they sipped at it, nodding their head in acknowledgment of Casey (who, they saw, was in the bright green robes of a Healer). The coffee was warmer than Taylor had expected; though it wasn't scalding, it hadn't cooled completely yet.

They tried not to look so upset, though tears still moistened their eyes. The coffee was a good distraction, but Taylor could still feel the impending weight of mourning. It was inevitable that their father would die, but they didn't know if they had to face that actuality in minutes, in hours, in days… It was all just a guessing game, with no rhyme or reason that Taylor could find.

“Thanks,” they replied—albeit barely audibly—after their sip of coffee. They didn't know what else to say, but they knew that they needed to talk to someone about what they were feeling.

@casey

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@taylor

casey sat there, next to taylor and sipped his own coffee. he didn't want to rush them into talking and he felt like the talking would happen eventually, he just had to wait. he felt the heat of the liquid and took a moment to enjoy it, there was something about coffee that was warming and it didn't have to do with the heat of the drink. hot or cold it did something, made some small part of him feel slightly better about the world, it was just a bonus that it helped him stay awake. he ran his finger around the top of the paper cup, leaning his elbows on the table as he glanced around the room and he saw some magazines in the middle of the table they were sitting at and he pulled some toward the both of them and he took one, flipping it open he started to look at what some of the stories were. he glanced at taylor and shifted slightly. he could tell they'd been crying, it was all over their face and casey couldn't begin to understand the feeling of loosing a parent. he'd never really lost anything before. he'd felt hurt, pain and sorrow but he'd never lost anyone he truly loved to death. "if you need to talk, scream or shout .. i'll listen" he said softly as he reached to put his hand on taylor's shoulder.

if i mess up on the they/them pronouns just shoot me a friendly reminder

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Casey pulled some magazines over towards them. What a few outdated issues of Witch Weekly and the like would do to help the situation at hand, Taylor didn't know, but they knew that Casey was only trying to help to make things a little bit more bearable.

“If you need to talk,” offered Casey, “scream or shout… I'll listen.”

A listening ear was something that Taylor rarely had anymore. If they were still at school, they would have had a counselor available to them, but they didn't think that they were ill or anxious or depressed—the sort of thing that seemed like the right reason to go see a therapist. They weren't an addict; they weren't crazy and didn't need changing because of the way they chose to identify themselves, either. They just needed—well, they didn't know what they needed, specifically, but less of a feeling of isolation would have been a good start.

As Casey put his hand on their shoulder, Taylor breathed in sharply. “It's…” It was just so hard. They wanted their father to live, but they didn't want him to have to live in pain. It was Christmas. They should have been sitting at home, enjoying one another's company and reminiscing about the past year.

“I…” If their father did die, what next? Taylor hated to think that their family would be better off because of it. Their mother wouldn't have to spend every minute of her day as his carer. But what, then, of the ice cream parlor? They couldn't sell it. Rosalie would have to give up her Ministry ambitions for good. Should they have stayed at Hogwarts, Taylor thought, while they had had the chance? They didn't know.

“My dad's dying.” Taylor spoke quietly. They knew that it wasn't a secret, especially not among anyone who came into Diagon Alley with any regularity, but they weren't certain if Casey knew. “And we've—We've known for a long time.” They exhaled. “But the Healers are saying that, um, they think it's… time now.” By the last word, Taylor knew that their voice was shaking. They looked down at the magazines and hoped that one of them could be a distraction.

@casey

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@taylor

“It's…” casey frowned slightly. he knew it would be hard, he himself wasn't the type to sit and talk about how he was feeling and here he was asking someone else too. the difference was he was a great listener. he didn't have any experience in loosing people like this, only very suddenly and while it had been horrible to feel and it had hurt a lot, it hadn't been as bad as watching someone die. he worked to stop that from happening when he was called out to patients and a lot of the time they were in time to do something to help but sometimes they weren't. he rubbed his hand between taylor's shoulder blades in a show of support when it seemed hard for them to talk to him. if taylor made any indication that they didn't want him to touch them, then he'd stop but he had learned in the last few months that contact could sometimes help a person, make them feel like they weren't alone and more at ease. though it didn't help with the pain, it could often soften it slightly. for some people anyway.

“My dad's dying. And we've—We've known for a long time. But the Healers are saying that, um, they think it's… time now.” that wasn't good. christmas wasn't the time for someone to be sitting in a hospital cafeteria waiting for someone to die. it just didn't seem right. he nodded his head slightly, not sure of what to say in that very moment so he took a few to gather his words. he knew nothing he could say would make much difference to what was happening but he could try and help taylor while it was happening. "do you want to be with him?" he asked as he chewed his lip, knowing that if it was his dad he'd want to be right there with him, letting him know it was okay and that his family was there. "i can stay with you if you'd like .." he said quietly, not adding 'until it happens' to the end of that. taylor didn't need to hear that and it was probably obvious to them by this point.

if i mess up on the they/them pronouns just shoot me a friendly reminder

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“Do you want to be with him?”

Taylor shook their head, realizing for the first time that Casey had been touching their back. They had been by their father's side for hours already. “No…” They barely mouthed the word, picking up a magazine and setting it down without opening it up. “I've…” The tears didn't need to start again, but they took in a raspy breath. “I've… been on the ward… long enough,” they explained.

“I… can't take it.” That was why Taylor wasn't with their mother and sister; they just couldn't do it anymore. They looked over at Casey.

“I can stay with you if you'd like…”

Their voice cracked with their response. “Please.” Taylor didn't want to take away from the work that they were sure that Casey still had to do for the night, but they were beginning to realize that they didn't want to be alone.

@casey

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@taylor

“No… I've… I've… been on the ward… long enough,” he nodded slightly and leaned his arms down against the table and thought about what to say to help. he didn't think there was anything he could really say that would make it better but he could be there. if he was ever in a situation where he was facing loosing someone he loved, he didn't think he'd be able to do it on his own. he was lucky enough to have susan, who he was sure would move heaven and earth and scare anyone who tried to stop her, just like he'd do the same if she was suffering. "okay." he said softly as he shifted in his chair. when he asked if taylor wanted him to stay, he nodded at the answer. “Please.” he squeezed taylor's shoulder and moved to stand up from the table. "lets go for a walk. get some fresh air. sometimes it can help."

if i mess up on the they/them pronouns just shoot me a friendly reminder

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While Taylor wasn't opposed to Casey's advice that they go for a walk, they were sure that their legs would turn to jelly if they tried to get up from the chair. When Casey moved to stand back up, they did, too. Taylor had anticipated needing to balance themselves against the table as they stood, though they were amazed to find that their legs were working normally.

“Alright. Fresh air,” they echoed. They were standing. Now, the next challenge was to move from where they were to wherever Casey wanted them to go. It was too cold and too dark outside to leave the hospital building, so Taylor imagined that they would stay inside of it—probably walking down to where the Welcome Witch was stationed and then back, if they had to guess.

They moved a step from the table, assuming that Casey would lead the way.

@casey

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@taylor

“Alright. Fresh air,” casey nodded and started to make his way out of the room, making sure that taylor was still there with him. he was going to take them to a room in the hospital that had been charmed to mimic the outside. it wasn't the same thing but it was nice enough and it seemed to provide people with some comfort. he didn't say anything as they walked. words at this point seemed like they would be pointless, not useless but pointless in this particular moment anyway. he opened the door to the room when they reached it and stepped inside, what had been a small empty room before the door had opened was now a large space with green grass and the warmth of a sun that wasn't shining there. "come on." he said carefully as he walked more into the room and took a breath. "bit better than that dark cafeteria isn't it." he said with a slight smile as he ran his hand through his hair and felt a light breeze cross the room.

if i mess up on the they/them pronouns just shoot me a friendly reminder

[Deleted]

Taylor followed Casey through to wherever he was taking them. They tried not to look at their surroundings and kept looking straight ahead—almost mechanically—until Casey brought them to a stop.

Casey opened the door and urged them on. “Come on,” he told them.

They breathed in, trying to relax. There was sunlight, but they hadn't even stepped outside of the hospital. It must have been something like the Room of Requirement at Hogwarts, they thought, or maybe it was known only to the hospital staff. “Bit better than that dark cafeteria, isn't it?”

Whatever it was, Taylor chose not to question it. At their feet was grass—blades upon blades of fresh, green grass. They nodded to Casey, feeling the breeze. It couldn't have been a real breeze—the room certainly wasn't mimicking the weather outside—but it felt real. “I-I didn't know this was here, Casey…” they finally remarked, simply standing still and taking it in.

@casey

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@taylor

“I-I didn't know this was here, Casey…” he nodded a little and folded his arms over his chest as he took in the room aswell. not a lot of people did. it was simple enough to just go outside and get fresh air, it wasn't like they were confined from the outside world, though there were times when a room like this came in handy. like right now. he moved to settle himself down on the grass, pulling a few blades of the grass up with his fingers and he folded them up slightly as he looked at taylor. "it's a hidden gem almost." he said as he rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and made to lean his hand down on the ground, getting comfortable encase taylor wanted to stay there for a while. perhaps until they found out about their father's death. there was no telling how long it would be till they heard, according to taylor but he was willing to stay here till they did. since the ward was a no go for them, he didn't want taylor to be alone when hearing the news. he doubted that mrs fortescue would find taylor before another nurse did.

if i mess up on the they/them pronouns just shoot me a friendly reminder

[Deleted]

Casey was right; this place was a hidden gem within the hospital. Even if they never found it again—and they hoped that they would never need to find it—Taylor had this room in which to escape for the moment.

When they saw that Casey had moved to sit down, they walked over to him so that they would be facing one another then did the same, feeling the blades of grass against their hand as they balanced themselves before sitting. They closed their eyes and let their lungs fill with air like balloons.

Everything felt surreal. Taylor could have stayed there for the rest of the night, if it meant escaping from reality for a few hours more. Inhale. Exhale. They needed a distraction. Something.

“What's it like,” they asked him, “working here?” There was too much that happened in a hospital not to end up taking things home at the end of the day, Taylor guessed. It was work, but it was—more often than not—seeing people at their most vulnerable. That had to make it a challenge.

@casey

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@taylor

“What's it like, working here?” working there? it was more than he could describe really. he'd known from a young age that this was what he'd wanted to do with his life. well he hadn't known that he'd be a mediwizard but he wanted to heal people. to help them when they needed it the most and be someone that was there for them. it was rewarding to say the least and not even the long hours and tiring jobs would make him wish he worked somewhere else. the only thing that would, would be if his work schedule ever meant he couldn't see susan. "it's .. everything." he said with a small chuckle and a shrug of his shoulders. "i mean it's great. i love working with the people and helping them when they need it most." he said as he rubbed his hand through his hair and he looked at taylor. "it sounds cliched but it's being there for someone in a dark hour that makes it worth it. knowing in some small way you might make it better." he said as he folded his arms back up and leaned them on his knees. "how about the shop? how do you control yourself around the ice cream." he said with a light smile, trying to lighten the mood just slightly in taylors dark hour.

if i mess up on the they/them pronouns just shoot me a friendly reminder

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“It's… everything.” What Casey said about working as a Healer made Taylor pensive. He talked about the potential cliché of wanting to help people at their darkest hours, and Taylor nodded. That was where their father was, too, and where they guessed that they were, by extension.

“How about the shop? How do you control yourself around the ice cream?”

Making a marked improvement in other people's lives seemed so much more important than making ice cream. People could find happiness in even the smallest things—a fact that was especially true of young children—but it wasn't as if ice cream had the power to heal. It felt so small and insignificant, when all that they were doing was scooping a dessert into cones or bowls while their father was actually dying.

“When you're around it so often,” Taylor shrugged, “it's normal.” When they were younger—much younger—it had always been such a treat for them. They had wanted to sample everything. It had been so new and exciting and refreshing every time.

“I still love ice cream,” they said, running a hand through their hair. “I mean, it's ice cream…” It was still perfect on a hot summer afternoon, not that they would have one of those for a while. This room with its sunshine would be as close as they would get until the seasons changed on their own. “But it's different when it's—” When it was the family business and they and Rosalie were trying to maintain a legacy, when the next link in that chain was on a hospital ward, that changed things.

Taylor took in another breath, forcing themselves to think of happier things. “You see people. You meet people.” There was a human aspect to everything, and the business of ice cream wasn't an exception. “They might be celebrating, or they might've broken up with someone… And sometimes you'll know right away, and sometimes you won't… You don't need to be a Legilimens, you know?” Understanding people had never felt that complicated. “You see a baby trying ice cream for the first time, and it's like you're that age again.”

Nostalgia. Maybe that was what it was.

@casey