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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 5, 2017 14:05:09 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2017 14:05:09 GMT -7
Cecelia was beginning to think that life was a pendulum. She swung from good times to bad as easily as she obeyed the pull of gravity, and it was exhausting. She had thought that after the Yule Ball, things were looking up for her, but then she had been called to Elaine's side and Irina had had a nightmare, and she was pulled into the dark once again. There was exactly one consistent thing about Cecelia: the nightmares. They came at least once a night, and always in the same fashion. They were always about Desirae, and then there was always a mirror that she looked into, which Braelynn stepped out of, and then one or both of her sisters tried to kill her. Desi was obviously the more regular culprit, but there had been more than one occasion where Bay wrapped her cold, dead fingers around Cecelia's neck and squeezed. The evolution of the nightmares was even steady - once a new element was added, it never disappeared. It was strange how Cecelia was almost comforted by her nightmares, but when you were desperate for comfort...In any case, Cece had taken to sleeping on one of the dormitory sofas until she'd had her first nightmare of the night, since those were normally the most violent, and she didn't have to worry if her dorm mates had heard her. So far she had been lucky, but she wasn't keen on waiting for her luck to run out. Cecelia was settled on the sofa, head pillowed on her hands, and was just about to let sleep take her, when she heard a noise from behind her.
@annelise
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 6, 2017 21:20:53 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2017 21:20:53 GMT -7
Anna didn't want to go to sleep right now. Last night she woke Irina up with her bad dreams and so tonight she was going for a new tactic. She was going to make herself so tired that when she finally did go to bed, she'd be so tired she couldn't do anything but sleep. Not that that would make sure her dreams were nice, but hopefully she'd be too tired for her mind to be too mean to her? She didn't know if that made any sense, but it was worth a shot, right? She sneaked back down to the Common Room after most people were in bed, surprised when she realized she wasn't the only one there. "Cecelia, I- uh, I didn't see you there. Is everything okay?" Anna and Cecelia had never really been close, but she felt comfortable talking to the girl.
@cecelia
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 9, 2017 7:06:44 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2017 7:06:44 GMT -7
As soon as Cecelia had heard the noise, she flipped herself around, and she relaxed a little when she saw it was just Anna. There were worse people that could have found here down here – like one of the first years. Anna asked if everything was okay, and for the first time in her life, Cecelia didn’t hesitate before answering. “Yup. Absolutely fine.” If the immediacy of her response hadn’t tipped Anna off, then Cecelia’s tone of voice probably did. It was overly chipper, in the kind of way that only bubbly, bright people were. Cece had never used that tone of voice before, and she hoped never to use it again, since the excuse was obviously not going to pull through. Cecelia tilted her head at Anna. “Is there something I can help you with?” She asked. She didn’t know why Anna was down in the common room in the first place, but Cece wasn’t one to talk about that, since she was also in the common room with no reason apparent from the outside.
@annelise
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 11, 2017 23:37:36 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2017 23:37:36 GMT -7
Cecelia didn't seem fine. Anna didn't want to offend her dormmate by saying flat out that she didn't believe her ... but she didn't. "Are you sure? I know we're not super close, but if you ever want to talk about something, I'm here for you." Anna didn't know where this was coming from, but she meant it. She recently learned how important it was to have people there to support you when you were having a hard time and wanted to make sure that Cecelia didn't feel alone. She shook her head, "No. I came down her because I couldn't sleep. Thought I'd either try to do homework or stare into the fire. You?" She wasn't trying to be nosy, but Cecelia asked first, so it was only natural for Anna to ask.
@cecelia
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 12, 2017 15:06:25 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2017 15:06:25 GMT -7
Cecelia sighed when Anna asked if she was sure she was alright. Of course she wasn’t sure, but she had to pretend. “You wouldn’t understand.” Cece said flatly. She hated to be that person, who thought that her pains transcended everyone else’s, but how on earth was she supposed to explain that she had nightmares about her dead sisters in a way that didn’t sound absolutely pathetic? And then she’d have to explain Desirae, and how she felt about her sister, and Cece was fairly certain that Anna wouldn’t be understand that Cecelia simultaneously loathed and adored her older sister. There was too much about her life that was unique, and so little that she had the words to share. She could try, but trying only ever seemed to dig her a deeper hole. “I’ve also been having problems sleeping.” Cecelia admitted. It was easier to say it in response to that than to Anna asking if she was sure she was fine. “Sometimes if I sleep down here, it’s easier when I wake up.” Because she’d be waking up alone, and wouldn’t have to worry about other people seeing her when she collected herself.
@annelise
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 20, 2017 17:22:17 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2017 17:22:17 GMT -7
Anna wasn't one to push. That was probably one of the reasons she and Cecelia had never grown close with one another. Cece was so closed off- at least to Anna that's how it seemed- and she didn't feel like it was her place to jump in. So when her housemate said that Anna wouldn't understand, she merely nodded. Everyone had their own struggles and while it was easy to look on them from the outside, it wasn't always easy to go through that. She knew that well, being the Hogwarts Champion this year. She looked over with interest when Cecelia said she was having struggles sleeping as well. Anna nodded again, "I can understand that. It's easier because you're not waking anyone else and you can sort through things on your own." Only after she spoke did Anna realize she practically told Cecilia she was having nightmares.
@cecelia
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 22, 2017 12:25:30 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2017 12:25:30 GMT -7
Cecelia raised an eyebrow when Anna described, nearly perfectly, why waking up from a nightmare alone was easier than being around others. “What are yours about?” Cece asked quietly, turning her face away so that she didn’t have to be looking in the other girl’s eyes when Anna said what haunted her nights. Cecelia hated nightmares, but she hated even more knowing that she wasn’t the only one that suffered from them. The prefect half-considered opening up about her own nightmares, but she didn’t want to cut Anna off, or worse, intimidate her into silence because the other girl thought that Cecelia was trying to one up her with the severity of the dreams or something of the sort. Cecelia also moved herself so that if Anna wanted to, she could sit on the sofa where Cece had been planning to sleep.
@annelise
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 24, 2017 16:09:38 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2017 16:09:38 GMT -7
A part of Anna hoped Cecelia wouldn't realize she was talking about nightmares, but of course she did. Anna looked down at the ground. She wasn't ashamed, per say, but she also didn't like talking about it. She knew others desperately wished they were Tournament Champions (like Oscar), and didn't want to make it sound like she was ungrateful for the opportunity. "The first Task," she muttered softly. Then she glanced up for a second, speaking without thinking once more. "You?" She noticed the Gryffindor girl move over a little and sat beside her on the sofa, sideways so she was facing her dorm-mate.
@cecelia
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 24, 2017 18:57:24 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2017 18:57:24 GMT -7
Cecelia nodded slowly when Anna said her nightmares were about the First Task. Cece had been one of the few students who hadn’t gone out to watch it, because at least one prefect had to make sure that there was no mess at the castle during the task, and she had volunteered. She had heard, though, about Acromantulas that had attacked Anna, which just made Cece more glad that she hadn’t been there. She would say that she had a fear of spiders, but they made her uneasy. Anna returned the question, and Cece looked at her hands. “My sisters.” She answered, glancing at Anna when the redhead came to sit beside her. “Desirae, mostly. Killing me the way she did Braelynn.” Why was she always attempting to be casual about things that were serious?
@annelise
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 24, 2017 19:41:33 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2017 19:41:33 GMT -7
Anna was so relieved when Cecelia didn't make a comment about how it was silly to have nightmares over something like that. She didn't really expect it ... well, she didn't know what to expect since she and Cece had never been particularly close with one another. She was actually kind of surprised when Cecelia answered her question. Anna hadn't been expecting that to happen. Her mouth fell open slightly. "Oh, I'm so sorry," Anna said softly. She didn't say anything else, not knowing what she could possibly say.
@cecelia
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 24, 2017 19:46:04 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2017 19:46:04 GMT -7
Cecelia didn’t know what to say. She didn’t think that anyone had ever apologized to her, for the way she viewed Desirae, or the way she viewed Braelynn. Everyone knew her sister was a murderer, but not everyone knew the scars that had left on Cecelia’s psyche. “It’s fine.” Cece said quietly. It wasn’t, really, but she didn’t know what to say. If she and Anna had been closer, Cecelia might have just kept quiet, but they weren’t close, so they were here, instead, in this awkward conversation about their worst fears. “It’s my own fault, for letting Desirae get as far as she did.” Cecelia couldn’t help but wonder, all the time, if she could have stopped Desi’s spiral into insanity, or if she could have saved Braelynn from murder. If she could have done anything, or if this was the fate she was meant to have no matter what she did.
@annelise
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 24, 2017 19:53:32 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2017 19:53:32 GMT -7
Anna shook her head, but she didn't argue with Cecelia. She didn't want to offend the girl, but it clearly wasn't all right. And she knew first-hand what having those types of nightmares meant- that one was deeply hurting. "How would it be your fault?" Anna asked curiously. Then paused. "I mean, if you don't mind me asking." Of course, she was being very presumptuous, assuming that Cecelia would actually talk to her about this, but Anna wanted to help, if she could.
@cecelia
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 24, 2017 20:00:03 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2017 20:00:03 GMT -7
Cece rested her chin on her knees when Anna asked how Desirae could be her fault. “You have a sister.” Cecelia stated. She knew of Lucy, because Lucy was one of Elaine’s. Cecelia wondered if her roommate knew that or not. Probably not, Cece decided, not because she wasn’t interested, but because few people realized how far Elaine’s reach extended, the Ministry included. “If Lucy went out and killed someone tomorrow, wouldn’t you wonder if there was something you could have done to stop her?” Cece would snap her wand clean in two if the answer to that question wasn’t yes. Because everyone had guilt, unless they were a sociopath, and Anna definitely wasn’t one of those. “Maybe it’s not really my fault, but I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life asking myself that question.” Cecelia told Anna with a sigh. “I guess my nightmares are the way I repay my debt. Braelynn’s sleeping forever, so I never get to sleep again.”
@annelise
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 24, 2017 20:08:10 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2017 20:08:10 GMT -7
Anna was taken by surprise when Cecelia brought Lucy into this. But she made a fair point. Not that Anna believed Lucy would go out and kill someone- much less family- but at least now she thought she could understand where Cecelia was coming from. "Yes I would," Anna answered quietly, though she was sure that Cece already knew that was her answer. "I'm sorry that you have that as a burden. I don't know how I would be able to handle it." Anna probably wouldn't be able to at all.
@cecelia
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last online Mar 29, 2024 8:37:05 GMT -7
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Mar 24, 2017 20:13:57 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2017 20:13:57 GMT -7
Cecelia was glad that she wasn’t going to have to go through with her promise to herself to snap her wand if Anna said no, because the other girl agreed. When Anna apologized for it, Cece shrugged. “I guess it’s a good thing you don’t have to handle it, then.” She hadn’t meant to sound callous, but it came out that way, and Cecelia winced a little. “Like I said…I recognize my part in creating the monster that was my sister. So it’s only right that I have to suffer a little for it, too.” She wasn’t going to try to explain the whole Unbreakable Vow to Anna – too many people knew about that already, and she didn’t want it to become common knowledge, or for Anna to think Cece was excusing her actions. “I guess…It would just be nice if I could forget about the monster for a night or two.” Cecelia said. Always being woken from her sleep in a fright was getting more than a little old, but she wasn’t sure if there was anything she could do to help herself.
@annelise
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