darling won't you just come with me [james]

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There was something about the beach that made everything better. Sure, it was February and the sun wasn't shining, but Natalia was still convinced that being on a beach, even when the skies were stormy and the winds of life were trying to batter you down made things...better. Not easier, but better. She had asked James to go to the beach with her so they could just be. She wasn't sure if they were going to talk about what happened to Abby and Theo, but if they did, she would rather do it when they weren't around anyone else. And if they didn't, then a walk down the beach (or even just staring into the distance) was still the sort of peace they both needed, even if they didn't want to admit it. Nat stood on the beach, a bright blue cloak wrapped around her shoulders but her feet bare as she pushed her toes into the sand. The waves slapped against the shore as she watched the horizon line, half waiting for a storm to roll in and half waiting for James to say something to break the silence.

@jams

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At first, James had been very skeptical about going to a beach in February. He was much of a summer person than a winter person. But, after all that had happened, he felt he could go anywhere and still not feel anything. He had felt numb the last couple of days, like nothing could hurt him worse than this. Abby was gone. One of his best friends since he was a kid. And nothing was ever going to be the same.

James had agreed to go to the beach with Natalia without argument, even if he was skeptical but he was in no mood to pose an argument. So James went along. On a normal day, it probably would have felt nice to bury his toes in the sand at the shore line but he still didn't really feel anything. He still felt numb as memories of his time with Abby played through his mind. He was grateful, however, that Natalia was okay with sitting there with him in silence. That was why he loved her. James looked up and out at the horizon and after a few minutes, he looked at Natalia who was doing the same. He was lucky to have her, he realized as he watched her staring at the horizon line. After a moment, he looked back at it himself and finally spoke. "When do you think all this bad stuff will just... stop happening?"

@natalia

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Nat hadn’t been sure if the two of them were going to speak at all, but when James began to talk, Nat was more than happy to begin a conversation with him. The question he asked was a difficult one, and Natalia, who was inclined towards pessimism, wasn’t sure if her boyfriend would want to hear her honest answer to it. “I don’t think it will.” She said, voice edged with steel. Her words seemed icy, not because she was mad at James, but because she was mad at the world. She was mad at the world that had tortured her and her sister, had driven her siblings nearly to murder, had hurt them both, had taken her and James’s best friends, and was currently in the process of trying to take her adopted father from her. She was mad, but as she had told Alice, when Natalia was angry, she didn’t rage. She was just quiet, and sometimes cried. Not recently, because she didn’t want James to think that he had to take care of her, but when she was alone, the tears flowed abundantly. “I don’t think that the world gets easier.” Nat reiterated. “But I think maybe we learn to deal with it better.” It was kind of like death at the hospital. Natalia didn’t ever like losing patients, and death still had meaning for her, but she had learned the coping mechanisms that allowed her to sleep at night even if she had had a bad shift before.

@jams

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James had always been told the truth about things; things weren't exactly sugar coated for him growing up. His parents had been through so much turmoil, what was the point in pretending like bad things didn't happen? So when Natalia answered, James hadn't necessarily been expecting a "happy" answer. A truthful one was all he could ask for, and he was glad she gave him one. After she spoke, James just looked down at his feet in the sand in silence as the sound of the water was the only thing that filled the air around them. Coming to terms with the world probably never getting better was hard. What if more of his friends died? Or his family?

After a moment, Natalia continued to speak and James finally was able to look at her. He appreciated her words, and the right corner of his mouth twitched momentarily into a small half smile until he turned back to look out at the water. "Makes you wonder how our parents dealt with everything they did." He mused. If James had the choice, he would happily live forever as a child with his friends doing whatever it was that made them happy. He had never expected everything that was going on to occur, but he supposed that Natalia was right. "I suppose it will just... become easier to deal with this stuff. Eventually." As he stared out toward the water, his hand automatically found Natalia's and he gently intertwined his fingers with hers.

@natalia

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Natalia could feel James’s eyes on her, but she kept staring at the horizon line. Looking forward in a literal sense was helpful in looking forward in the figurative sense, sometimes. James made a comment about how their parents dealt with what was happening, and Natalia blanched. Her parents obviously hadn’t learned from the mistakes of the past. They hadn’t realized that blood purity was not an idea that could live forever, and that the world didn’t exist only for purebloods. James’s father had been the hero of the Wizarding world, and he had been a half-blood. Harry was only one of many examples, but her parents had just dug their heels in, and kept believing what they wanted to believe because they didn’t see the rest of the world. And she had done the same thing, because she had never known anything other than blood supremacy. And that was only the tip of the iceberg… “Yours certainly coped better than mine.” She said quietly. It seemed every time her parents had chosen the low road, Harry had chosen the high one. Natalia obviously admired Harry, mostly because she knew him better than Ginny, but she expected that James’s mother had taken a similarly optimistic and good-hearted approach to life. James said that it would become easier to deal with these things, and Nat shook her head. “I don’t think it becomes easier just on accident.” If it did then there wouldn’t be people in the world who allowed their trials to make them bitter. “We will make it easier, James.” If Nat knew anything about the boy she had fallen in love with, it was that he could do anything that he set his mind to. James slipped his fingers through hers, and Natalia squeezed his hand softly, continuing to watch the ocean.

@jams

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In his busy mind, James hadn't realized what he had said about "their" parents until Natalia subtly pointed it out. His mouth twitched and he furrowed his brow, giving her hand a squeeze in a kind of silent apology for his words. Natalia was so kind, so good natured that he sometimes forgot who she was raised by. The Gryffindor alum was silent as his girlfriend spoke again. Her words were reassuring to him, and he knew that with her there at his side he truly believed they could get through anything. He looked back at the blonde for a moment and took another moment before he spoke. "I love you," was all he said in response. Without Natalia by his side these last few months, who knows what would have happened to him. "Thank you. For... just being here. With me," he didn't look away from the blonde as he spoke.

@natalia

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Natalia blinked when James said that he loved her. Not because she doubted the sentiment, but because the timing seemed a little odd. Still, she didn’t hesitate to respond. “I love you, too.” It was strange to Nat that she now knew that the word love really meant. James thanked her, and Nat smiled. “There is no place in the world that I would rather be.” She said. It was true, what people said about tragedy bringing people closer. The more she suffered, the more she realized how much of a rock James was. How much of a better person he made her, and how much she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. It was scary, the idea of devoting the rest of her life to someone when she was still trying to figure out who she was and what spending the rest of her life with someone would mean for them – who they would be loving. Nat was constantly trying to be a better version of herself, but she could see how some people would find that constant change scary. She didn’t think that James was one of those people, but he also had problems with commitment, if she was honest. She wasn’t sure how he would feel about the m-word.

@jams

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There was no doubt in James's mind that Natalia loved him just as much as he lover her, but still hearing her say it brought a small smile to James's face even when he didn't think he could smile. "Ditto," he said giving her hand another little squeeze. James took a moment then to look back out at the water. As he did so, he thought... maybe this wouldn't be so hard. He could get through this; he had Natalia, after all. After a moment of silence, James looked back to Natalia. "What do you say we head back to the Cauldron and get something to eat?" The Gryffindor alum then stood up, not letting go of Natalia's hand. That was when he knew that as long as he had her hand to hold to get through everything, maybe he could get through this.

le end