|
|
|
last online May 11, 2024 6:03:58 GMT -7
|
|
|
May 25, 2017 3:43:53 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2017 3:43:53 GMT -7
Everything seemed a bit complicated with the situation. She felt bad that her friend was having to go through so much just to be with someone. And she knew that it was of popular opinion that anything worth it, including love, wasn't easy. This isn't what she expected. She frowned a little when Cecelian said that his wasn't getting along with his sisters the last time they'd spoken about family. She didn't want to say that was good thing; it could never be positive when you weren't getting along with a memeber of your family though of course the reasons were always different. She couldn't imagine not getting along with her own family members but she didn't know what lead up to him not getting along with his so she couldn't judge. She did mention that it was months ago though so maybe things had changed for the better. Though maybe it wasn't better for Cecelia. Once again, it was so complicated that she sighed. The question in Cecelia's voice didn't help either, the hope in her voice sparking a bit of determination in her. "I have hope for the two of you. I have hope for you because it shouldn't matter. Even if his family decides that they don't particularly care for you because of your family, he knows who you are. You're a good person and, if he's smart, he knows that and sees that and he'll care about you and he'll want to be with you." She didn't want to be pessimistic about the situation for the sake of her friend. Even if the situation did look a little bleak now, she had hope they things would look up for her. She found herself nodded at her suggestion of meeting his family before. She didn't show her grin at the fact that she was thoroughly interested in being involved with Grey. She really liked this guy and it was nice to see her this way. "I think that could work. Even if you are just friends now I would think that his family would like to know who his friends are. I would think they would take his opinion into consideration as well. If he's friends with you then you must be a good person? That rubs me the wrong way though. You're a good person anyway. But I guess you do need to show them that. It's unfair, you being held under what your sister has done..." she was starting to ramble now but she couldn't find it in her to care.
Tag; @cecelia SOTD; HERE
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
last online May 11, 2024 6:03:58 GMT -7
|
|
|
May 27, 2017 18:55:57 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 27, 2017 18:55:57 GMT -7
Zita said that she had hope for Grey and Cecelia, and that made the Gryffindor’s heart ache a little. There was so much that she didn’t know and so much that she couldn’t control. Once upon a time, Cecelia would have accepted that there wasn’t anything she could do to make Grey’s family like her, or to make Grey like her, but now she wanted something. She wanted to love someone, and she wanted to be loved in return, and after everything she had been through, she didn’t think that asking for love was a lot. Someone else seeing this and thinking that it was possible made her feel simultaneously hopeful herself and even more downtrodden. She wished that she was braver, enough that she could tell Grey how she felt and damn the consequences. Cece was really, really grade that she had someone like Zita to go to, because asking someone else to help her untangle this was just… so intimidating. “Thanks, Zita.” Cecelia said softly, still trying to process everything that had been said and make it feel like the truth, instead of just words that were being said.
When the Hufflepuff continued on with her opinions about Grey’s family, Cecelia nodded along, though she had to correct Zita when the other girl said that Cecelia was held under what Desirae had done. It was true that Desi’s name was more well-known, and that there was definitely a stigma attached to being a murderer, but it wasn’t just Desi who had pushed Cecelia to such a place. “I made some bad choices, too.” Cecelia said softly. She had chosen to continue on believing what Desirae had believed, and probably would have gladly spent the rest of her life believing it, too, if it hadn’t been for Braelynn’s death. It had taken her sister dying for Cecelia to realize there was a flaw in her logic, and Cece had a hard time stomaching that any person who would only change their beliefs in the face of such extreme circumstances was a good person. “But people can change.” Cecelia asserted. Even the worst of people had to be redeemable somehow… right?
@zita
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
last online May 11, 2024 6:03:58 GMT -7
|
|
|
Jun 4, 2017 0:51:03 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2017 0:51:03 GMT -7
She didn't think the thanks that Cecelia gave her was necessary but she nodded and gave her a smile in acceptance anyway. It wasn't that big of a deal to her. She wanted to support her friend in any way that she could and if that meant her having to be an ear to listen or offering advice to her, she would do so happily. She knew that Cecelia would have done the same for her if she had been the one needing to get something off of her chest. Above all else, if not for the support she got, she was exponentially glad she'd joined GSA for the people that she'd met. "It's not a problem at all Cecelia. I'm here for you any time that you need me." she smiled. Cecelia looked as if she was still a bit lost in thought though. She hoped that, whatever she decided to do, she was happy and that she put her happiness first above anyone else's. At her mention of having mad bad decisions too, Zita could on nod with her. She could believe it, even if she hadn't heard the full story herself. She knew a bit about Cecelia's family and she'd known about her sister and it's hard to grow up with someone like that and not make some bad decisions yourself. She didn't judge her for them now because she was different now. She was lucky enough that she only knew Cecelia as she was now, a good person, so she didn't have any of those bad decisions that Cecelia made to taint her view of her friend. But, just as she'd said, people changed. She'd changed, obviously. "You're proof of that. Even with any bad decisions you've made, you're good now. And even the fact that you can acknowledge that those decisions you'd made were bad decisions, that's your good side showing Everyone has the capacity to do good and and to do bad," she gave a slow nod. She really was just rambling at this point, unsure of what to say to make her feel better. Maybe there wasn't anything that needed to be said to make her feel better about that? It was just something that she'd done. "Just show them that you're different from when you made those decisions."
Tag; @cecelia SOTD; HERE
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
last online May 11, 2024 6:03:58 GMT -7
|
|
|
Jun 10, 2017 12:12:12 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2017 12:12:12 GMT -7
Cecelia offered Zita a small smile when the Hufflepuff said that she was there any time that Cecelia needed her. The Gryffindor didn’t doubt that, but there was still so much of her story that she couldn’t – or wouldn’t – tell Zita, so even being there all the time wasn’t quite… good enough. The other girl’s comments about people changing, though, made Cecelia feel marginally better, because Zita seemed to really believe it, contrary to Cecelia’s half-hearted hoping. To be called a proof of change was a bit of a strange concept for Cecelia, since she still felt like she hadn’t reached her endpoint yet. She was still evolving, hopefully for the better. Someone else saw that she was stumbling through darkness in the right direction, though, and that felt… good. Better than Cecelia had thought it would. There was one thing that Cecelia still felt a compulsion to say before the conversation could end, a statement that tied together the two topics they were talking about. “I don’t think that then I would have ever considered to love someone.” Cecelia said quietly. Back then, love had meant obsession, following someone ardently despite any flaws they might have had. Cecelia had loved Desirae, and therefore Elaine, like a fanatic. In some ways, Cece though that Braelynn’s death had taught her what it meant to be truly in love – to sacrifice everything for someone, not because you felt like you had to, but because living without them would be worse than living without everything else you had. Cecelia hadn’t yet reached that level of devotion for anyone, really, which she took as a good sign. Obsessions could blossom overnight, but love – real love – took months, or even years, to build to the point where sacrificing life as she knew it would seem the only option. “Grey… is the closest thing I have to a best friend.” Cece said, voice still more timid and unsure than she would have liked. “And I guess that’s part of the reason why I’m letting myself entertain the possibility.” It was easier to fall for someone that she knew cared for her a little bit already, because she didn’t have to suffer outright rejection if he figured it out and said he didn’t feel the same.
@zita
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
last online May 11, 2024 6:03:58 GMT -7
|
|
|
Jun 18, 2017 17:57:14 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2017 17:57:14 GMT -7
A blip of surprise ran through Zita but quickly left at Cecelia's revelation. It was a little surprising to her because she grew up surrounded by love so it was completely natural to her to love people and fall in love with people. Not everyone had her family dynamic though and it was hard to think about loving someone when you had other things on your mind. Or prejudices. She didn't know Cecelia's full story since she'd only really gotten to know her this year but from what she knew she figured that with someone like Desirae as a sister, she may have adopted blood purist ideology back then. With thoughts of hate floating around in your head, she was certain love was the last thing you'd think about. Cecelia probably hadn't had time to think about love. Zita smiled though because her words were very revealing and she probably felt vulnerable saying them. "But now you are. And I think that's awesome," Zita's smile turned into a grin as she looked at her friend. It was a really complicated situation to be in, falling in love with someone that your family had a dark history with, but she was falling for someone. It made Zita feel slightly lonely. Only slightly though, she was okay with being single and she didn't need to be in love when she had friends and quidditch and GSA to take up all of her time. She could admit though that it would be nice to have someone to relax with. She was happy for Cecelia though that she had found someone that she wanted to love and be loved by. Zita chuckled at her words about allowing herself to consider Grey because he was like a best friend to her. She was falling for her best friend, how cute. "I think you're right. It is easiest to fall for people we're close to because we know them best and they know us best. You're already close and you already knows he cares for you in that aspect. Do you plan on talking to him about it or are you going to wait for sure?" She could understand if she wanted to wait because of the difficulty it posed but she thought she should tell him anyway.
Tag; @cecelia SOTD; HERE
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
last online May 11, 2024 6:03:58 GMT -7
|
|
|
Jun 19, 2017 15:06:47 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2017 15:06:47 GMT -7
Cecelia had never realized how much she had needed someone like Zita in her life. The Purifiers weren’t exactly rife with Hufflepuffs, or people with positive attitudes in general. There was so much doom and gloom there, probably because their entire goal was to cause doom and gloom for other people. Being a part of the group to start with had been just as detrimental to Cecelia’s views of the world and herself as her upbringing had been. Her childhood had planted the seed of blood supremacy, but the Purifiers had fostered it carefully, and caused it to grow. In the metaphor, Cecelia wasn’t sure what Braelynn’s death was – herbicide, perhaps, to destroy the bloom. Now Cecelia needed people like Zita – and Grey – to keep it from growing again. Cece swallowed when she realized what word she had used, albeit in her head. She needed people. She needed Grey. That thought alone was enough to make her want to burst into tears. Needing people was scary, because it meant that Elaine could put them in harm’s way to hurt Cecelia. And no one deserved that. “I’m not telling Grey.” Cece said quietly. Her thought about not putting him in a position to be hurt by Elaine was a part of that, but Cecelia knew that Grey was more than capable of protecting himself. His sister was an Auror, after all, and one didn’t have a family member in a business like that without knowing at least a few protection spells. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” She explained. It was the most cliché reasons possible, but right about then, Cecelia understood the cliché. She had just had to face how much she needed him in her life, and having that taken away from her just because she was greedy wasn’t something Cecelia wanted to go through. She was content to channel her love into being the best friend that she could. If Grey ever ended up developing romantic feelings for her, Cecelia was certain that she would know, and then she could change her strategy.
@zita
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
last online May 11, 2024 6:03:58 GMT -7
|
|
|
Jun 20, 2017 3:03:45 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2017 3:03:45 GMT -7
Zita could only nod at her admission. She had no plans of telling him, and that was okay too. It was her choice in the end and if she decided she didn't want to pursue anything that was up to her. Zita thought that way until she admitted to her reasoning behind her not wanting to tell him. It was so cliche and Zita tried to hide her frown but her eyebrows had visibly pushed down. She'd never really cosnidered that a reason not to tell someone how she felt, even if they had been friends. If they were good enough friends that she'd want to date him, the admission shouldn't change anything. Even if he didn't feelt he same way as she did, he would just tell her and they would be able to continue to be friends. It seemed simple to her. Just because you liked someone it didn't mean your friendship had to change. "So. If he admits he feels strongly for you, would that be a good reason to stay just friends, even if you both feel the same way? Would you turn him down for that reason?" She asked the question even though she knew the answer didn't really matter because if she didn't want to tell him, she wouldn't. It just felt like she was already holding back. She'd just said that he was the closest thing to a best friend she had and that she could be herself around him. Herself defintely included the feelings she had for him, so why did she have to hide that from him. She wouldn't push though. "You don't have to answer of course. Just something to ponder. I am really happy for you though that you have someone. " It was exciting. She was excited and her heart felt light just thinking about the way Cecelia must feel. Excited but scared. Happy but worried about what he might say. Hopeful for the best outcome. She assumed that the best outcome for Cecelia was them together but she didn't actually know if Cecelia wanted to pursue a relationship with him just by her answer. Time would eventually tell her.
Tag; @cecelia SOTD; HERE
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
last online May 11, 2024 6:03:58 GMT -7
|
|
|
Jun 21, 2017 17:29:52 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2017 17:29:52 GMT -7
Cecelia watched Zita’s face transform when she said her bit about not wanting to ruin her friendship with Grey. The other girl obviously didn’t agree with that line of thinking, but was too polite to say anything about it. Cece was a little disappointed – she would have thought that Zita, of all people, would understand the complexities of love. The Gryffindor was still certain that the Hufflepuff had a more nuanced view of what love meant than most people, but perhaps their ideas of how romantic love and platonic love intersected were different. Zita asked what would happen if Grey admitted that he had feelings for her too, and the Gryffindor didn’t hesitate. “If it’s mutual, I would do it.” Cecelia said immediately. She wasn’t sure that there were high chances of that happening, but if it did… Who was she to say no to one of the only pieces of good fortune the universe had given her? “I just don’t want to make things awkward by forcing romance on him if that’s not how he feels about me.” Even if he let her down gently and she accepted that he didn’t want to be romantically entwined with her, the fabric of Grey and Cecelia’s relationship would be changed by a love confession. He would constantly be wondering if she was only friends with him because she was attracted to him and she would always be waiting for him to realize that he did actually loved her. Zita said that she hadn’t intended for that question to be answered, but Cecelia shrugged. It hadn’t been something that she needed to ponder excessively. She had spent so much time punishing herself for things that weren’t her fault, and she wanted to try to embrace some goodness. There were still the worries about Grey’s safety, but the pair of them spent enough time together already that the chances that someone would notice that the nature of their relationship had changed were low. Besides, Cece was the only Gryffindor Purifier, so if they kept everything to the tower, it wasn’t like there was anyone who could rat her out. But that wasn’t guaranteed, Cece reminded herself. This was all hypothetical. “Thanks, Zita.” She said quietly. She had needed this talk.
@zita (end here? or one more post?)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
last online May 11, 2024 6:03:58 GMT -7
|
|
|
Jun 28, 2017 17:22:28 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2017 17:22:28 GMT -7
Once again, Zita could only nod as Cecelia spoke. There seemed to be a loss of translation on what was being said between the two of them. Just knowing, as she'd admitted, that she admit to her feelings only if she knew he felt the same was the issue that Zita was having with her not telling him. She'd stated that she didn't want to ruin their friendship but if she was willing to admit to her feelings only when she knew he felt the same way, didn't that mean it wasn't their friendship she was worried about but more so the rejection? Zita wanted to continue talking to get her point across, desperately, but she knew it wasn't worth it. Cecelia was happy with where she was it seemed and that was what mattered most. "I hope everything works out and, if he doesn't feel the same way, you both remain close friends," she smiled. "A close friend is never a bad thing to have." When Cecelia thanked her, she brushed it off with a wave and another smile. "It's not problem. As I said, I'm here if you need someone to talk to." She stood up and stretched a bit; her body had become a little tense from that rollercoaster of a conversation. "Well, now that we have everything planned for the next meeting, I'm going to head back down to my common room and take a nap. Or do homework. I'll see you at the meeting," she waved goodbye to her friend before heading out of the Gryffindor common room to the thousands of stairs she would have to take to get back down to the dungeons. Next time she would ask if they could meet someone in the middle because the stairs were a pain to climb.
Tag; @cecelia SOTD; HERE
(~~El Fin~~)
|
|
|
|