That's What Friends Are For (Seamus)

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This had been one of the hardest months of Dom's life. She really couldn't seem to get a grip on her emotions. She'd taken a break with her older sister, gone exploring and on adventures with her brother and had a book search throughout the castle, but none of it fixed her problem. The thing was, the further along she got in the year, the more she thought about Ethan. This time last year, the two of them grew closer than ever before, though they had been best friends before that. Now, she was trying to forget that and trying to move on, but his memory wouldn't leave her mind. Maybe leaving Hogwarts after graduation would help, but Dom couldn't stand a few more months of this. So she was trying to find a way past it. 

Right now, she was in the library. She initially went there to study, but all of her normal studying places were taken and she found herself in the corner where she and Ethan used to study and she sank back into her sadness and memories of him as she sat down in what used to be designated as her chair. Dom pulled her feet up onto the cushion of the chair and hugged her knees to her chest, resting her head on top as the memories overwhelmed her once more. This had to stop, but she didn't know how to do that.

@seamus

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Shay was retreating to the library for what felt like the millionth time that week. He had been so focused on trying to keep up with his Charms coursework that he had totally forgotten to read his Defense Against the Dark Arts reading for a second time, and the class had been horrible as a result of that. He wasn’t even studying for N.E.W.T.s hard-core like many of the seventh years, but he already felt like he was drowning. Séamus was trying to keep himself from freaking out, but there was only so much that one person could do! And he was trying to do all of it, plus some. To make matters worse, the library was stuffed to the gills with people who seemed to be in similar situations to him. Shay wove his way throughout the library, trying to find an open seat, and almost cried in relief when he saw one. The Slytherin paused, though, when he saw who else was at the table. There was no mistaken Dominique, at least not for him – the pair had had too many conversations together for him not to be able to recognize her in a split-second. She looked worse for the wear, though, curled into a ball and looking as if her mind was elsewhere. Shay approached her slowly, waving at Dom. “H-hey.” He said quietly, not wanting to disturb her or others. “Is everything alright?” The Ravenclaw didn’t look alright, but saying as much would be rude. Asking an open-ended question was much better in Shay’s eyes, and he hoped that he got an honest answer.

@dominique

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Dom was so busy staring off into space, completely lost in her memories of last year that she didn't even notice when the Slytherin boy approached. She didn't see him or his wave, in a sort of trance. However, when he greeted her, Dom was pulled out of her reverie. She gave an almost unnoticeable jolt and then blinked, turning to see who it was. The corners of her lips turned up when she recognized who was joining her. "Séamus," she greeted, wondering if he'd noticed how out of it she was. Probably, since he seemed to be trying to pull her out of her thoughts. He asked if she was alright and Dom's heart pounded hard in her chest. No, things were not alright, but that wasn't the proper way to answer that question. She'd been taught all her life by her mother that she should be polite and not push her problems on others. As a general rule, Dom stuck to that, hiding her struggles within herself, not even daring to show them to her family and those who cared deeply for her. However, at this moment, she wanted nothing more than to be honest. Séamus was with her that morning she'd left the castle. He was also there when she returned. He might not know the details of what she was struggling with, but he knew more than most. "Don't force others to listen to your problems," her mother's french accent whispered in her mind. Dom bit her lip and looked over at him, trying to sense what he wanted. "Do you really want to know?" The words slipped out without her meaning them to. Her mother wouldn't have liked that, but at least he could say no if he didn't want her to talk about it. Dom hoped his answer would be yes thought. She trusted Séamus. Dom gestured to the seat beside her. "You don't have to stand, you know," she teased lightly, though her heart wasn't really in the joke. Her tone was more sad and reflective than normal.

@seamus

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For a moment, it seemed like Dom wasn’t paying attention to him at all, and Shay wondered if he would have been better off just ignoring her altogether. However, it seemed like Dom’s loss of focus (and inability to really see him) was transient, and she greeted him after clearing her head a little bit. Séamus didn’t want to judge Dominique for taking some time out for herself, especially since she had spent so much time helping other people – like him. When she asked if he really wanted to know if everything was alright, Séamus furrowed his eyebrows. “W-why w-wouldn’t I?” He asked her. Dom was one of his friends in addition to being his tutor, and he wanted her to know that he was there for her, as much as he could be without knowing everything that was going on. Dom said that he didn’t have to stand, and Shay nodded, slipping into the seat across from her. “Y-you d-don’t n-need to h-hide, D-Dom.” Séamus said quietly. They had had some conversations about expressing their emotions, but Shay was really wondering if Dom was just being her normal self or if she really was trying to hide what she was feeling. “Especially n-not f-from m-me.” Shay had never had a best friend before, but he thought that Dom was becoming that, and if there was anyone that she should be herself around, it was him.

@dominique

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Séamus seemed confused by her question. Either that or upset by it, but Dom smiled at his question. She shrugged and then went back to hugging her knees, though this time she rested her head on her knees as she looked up at her friend instead of at nothing. "Not everyone that asks that question really wants to know the answer," she responded after a moment, her smile gone. She didn't think Séamus was one of those, but it was an explanation for her actions that maybe he would accept. It was easier than explaining her mom's opinion about not bothering others with her problems. He sat down across from her and insisted, saying that she didn't need to hide, and especially not from him. The corners of her lips turned up again. "All I seem to do anymore is hide, Séamus," she admitted softly. Then she bit her lip as he flashed through her mind again. "You remember all the attacks last year, right? The last one, where so many were kidnapped and a boy murdered? He was my," she hesitated as her throat constricted with emotion, "my best friend and my boyfriend." Now how to explain her problems. She closed her eyes for a second. "I can't seem to move on, Séamus. All summer and fall I was fine and then winter came and I ... I see him everywhere now. I can't go anywhere without memories popping up and distracting me and I can't get this overwhelming sadness to go away. That's why I left to talk with Vic, but nothing's any better. I don't know what to do anymore." She'd opened her eyes and looked down to the table as she explained to him. He wanted her to tell him what was going on and she'd certainly done that. Probably too much. 

@seamus

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Shay frowned a little when Dom said that not everyone whoa sked if someone was alright really wanted to know the answer. He knew that most of the time, people lied and just answered the question with what the asker wanted to hear, but Séamus was still confused as to why someone would ask a question if they didn’t want an honest answer. It seemed counterproductive, especially for someone like Shay, whose voice was a precious commodity and not often heard. Why waste breathe, and other people’s time, for something less than the truth? Séamus knew that he was just as guilty of sometimes telling white lies as anyone, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t still frustrated by the whole situation, especially because he wanted to help. Dom said that all she seemed to do was hide, and Séamus’s frown deepened. She asked if he remembered the attacks, and Shay nodded, shuddering a little. “M-my m-mum and d-da d-didn’t w-want m-me to c-come b-back this y-year.” He told her quietly. After everything that had happened, they had been worried about Shay’s safety, and while he appreciated the sentiment, Shay had wanted to return to Hogwarts. He clammed up, though, when Dominique said that the boy who had been murdered was her best friend, and her boyfriend. Suddenly, being asked to stay at home instead of coming to school seemed like a small price to pay for the attacks. Séamus hadn’t ever really had a best friend, nor a significant other, so he couldn’t relate to what it would be like to lose either of those people. For all he wanted to do to help Dom, Shay didn’t have a clue of what to say. “W-what if you l-left?” He asked quietly. The last thing Séamus wanted was for Dom to drop out of school, especially since they were friends now, but maybe if she went someplace her best friend had never been, and put space between herself and the memories, things would be better. He assumed that was why she had gone someplace with her sister, but that wasn’t a permanent move. He was suggesting something much bigger.

@dominique

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Séamus didn't respond to her comment about people asking questions they didn't want the answers to, but Dom didn't mind. She knew that he wasn't like that. It was obvious by the look on his face when he heard her explanation. He frowned as she explained, offering the fact that his parents didn't want him to come to Hogwarts this year. She gave him a small smile at that. "Well I'm glad you did come. I've enjoyed getting to know you." Enjoy wasn't really the right word, but Dom couldn't think of it right now and she wanted him to know that she appreciated his friendship. So that should work. He was quiet for a while after she explained her struggles and Dom watched Séamus curiously. She doubted he expected anything like this and wanted to know what his suggestion was. Then he mentioned her leaving. Dom's eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly. Leave Hogwarts? In the middle of her seventh year? Her mother would kill her if she did, but if Dom wanted to her mother couldn't stop her. She paused for a second, thinking before she shook her head. "I can't. I love Hogwarts and I only get a few months left here before I graduate." Her eyebrows furrowed as she thought a little more. "Besides that, all my friends are here and I don't know what I want to do with my life. Dropping out would not help me, I'm sure. I just ... need to find a way to cope." That was the struggle. She could do a few more months here and she didn't want to leave. She just needed a distraction. A way to get Ethan out of her head and move on. She offered a small smile, "You're not trying to get rid of me, are you?" Dom needed something a little more lighthearted, so she teased him and winked. Hopefully he'd realize she wasn't serious. 

@seamus

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Shay gave Dom a little smile when she said she was glad that he had come. He was glad, too – not just because of Dom (though that was definitely one of the reasons). He was already slow when it came to school, so missing a year would have put him even more dreadfully behind. Not to mention all of the people he was familiar with were in his year. Even if he wasn’t friends with them, there was mutual tolerance. He had heard that there were some nasty Slytherins in the years above and below him, so being held back a year due to his parents not letting him come to school would have put him in the line of fire for bullies. “I’m g-glad t-too.” Séamus said, remembering that Dom could not read his mind and thus wouldn’t know that he whole-heartedly agreed with her.

Dominique said that she couldn’t leave, and Séamus listened intently to her reasoning. It was all good reasoning, that was for sure. It wasn’t just because she was scared of leaving or falling behind, which had been Shay’s reasoning, but because her friends were there and leaving wouldn’t help her situation. She said she just needed a way to cope, and Séamus pondered it for a moment. He was broken out of his thoughts when Dom asked if he was trying to get rid of her. “N-n-n-never!” Shay exclaimed, slightly indignantly. He knew that she was just kidding, but Séamus didn’t want Dominique to think he would ever tire of her company. “H-have you t-tried wr-writing in a j-journal?” Shay suggested. That was a coping mechanism for just about anything, and maybe having a log of where and when she had the hardest times could help Dom.

@dominique

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Dom smiled and nodded when Séamus said he was glad he came to school as well. She could only imagine how hard it would be to try and convince your parents to let you go to school, especially when things were as dark as they were now. Having magical parents helped a bit, but if things got really bad, Dom was positive that her parents would be pulling her out of school. 

Séamus' insistent "never" made Dom's smile widen. She expected him to say something to that effect, but she still found it cute all the same. "Thank you, Séamus," she said softly. "For listening and everything." Dom didn't want to be one of those people that took and took but never gave back. Granted, she was tutoring him, but that was beside the point. He needed to know she appreciated him being so understanding. Then he mentioned a journal. Dom's eyebrows creased as she thought about the suggestion. "I haven't. That's a really good suggestion," Dom answered with a smile. Maybe writing her thoughts and feelings down- or even just her memories of Ethan- would help her move on. 

She lowered her feet to the floor, feeling slightly better after talking with Séamus for a bit. "So do you need any help with your studying?" she asked, hoping he would say yes. That would at least give her something to do.

@seamus

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Shay smiled at Dom when she thanked him for listening “and everything”. He wasn’t certain what she meant by that last part, but he was hopeful that he had helped Dom, at least a little. The Slytherin didn’t like feeling like he wasn’t doing enough to help his friend, so the fact that she was thanking him made him think that he had done something worthwhile in making her feel better. When she said that his suggestion about journaling was good, his smile brightened. “You c-can p-put ph-photos and st-stuff in th-there, t-too.” He said. Some people were under the impression that journals were exclusively writing, but Séamus found that the best journals made use of multiple forms of media to express the experiences more fully. Dom uncurled herself in her chair, and Shay hoped that meant that she was feeling a little better. He was doing an awful lot of hoping for very little actual change, but hoping was better than nothing, he thought. Dom asked if he needed any help studying, and Shay shook his head reflexively. “Our l-last s-session h-helped a l-lot.” And since he had understand what had happened in the last class, Séamus was having a lot better of a time understanding the current class’s material, too.

@dominique

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Dom smiled as Séamus expounded a little more on his idea of a journal, adding in that she could put things inside of it as well. Hmmm ... that definitely sounded like something that Dom would enjoy doing. Sticking a bunch of seemingly-random objects inside her journal along with her thoughts. It was mixing a bunch of things together and she loved that idea! It was almost like she could make the journal as impulsive as she was, which was an idea she'd never thought of. "Oh, I will," she said with a sly smile. Then she cocked her head at Séamus. "In fact, I'll probably show it to you. I mean, you already know my biggest secret, so even if you decided to read it, I wouldn't care." Honestly though Dom wouldn't mind if most people ... no, she would mind. She wouldn't care if they read about her day-to-day activities, but her memories of Ethan were private and precious. Random people wouldn't be allowed to see them, but those close to her ... she might show it to them. Namely, him. Her smile widened when he said that their last session helped. "I'm glad," Dom told him, feeling lighter than she had in a while. Her eyes narrowed as her impulsive side took control. She didn't know if Séamus would want to join her, but she was going to invite him. "Do you need to study right now or do you want to take a break with me? I need to get some fresh air." She stretched a little, still sitting, as she waited for his response.

@seamus

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Dom seemed to really like the journal idea, which made Shay feel all warm inside. He hoped that it was a better coping mechanism than just trying to talk to people. For all of the well-meaning advice people gave, sometimes it was easier just to express your thoughts without someone trying to help you. When the Ravenclaw said that she would show the Slytherin her journal, he paused a little. “S-sometimes it’s b-better n-not t-to sh-share th-things, even if you d-don’t m-mind p-people s-seeing.” Séamus said. He wouldn’t mind reading Dom’s journal if that was what she really wanted, but part of the appeal of journaling was that no one could judge you for what you put in it. It was hard to explain, because Séamus knew that Dom trusted him, and like she said, she had already told him her biggest secret… but it still would feel wrong for him to read it. A tiny part of Shay hoped that Dom wrote something about him in her journal when she eventually started it, and he was sure that she wouldn’t want him letting her thoughts about him influence his thoughts about her. Those were already confusing enough, in a way that Séamus wasn’t sure he was ready for.

Shay smiled again at Dom when she said that she was glad the tutoring sessions were helping. Even knowing that he had someone to go to when he got stuck was making Séamus more confident in his classes. No amount of confidence could stop the letters on the page from swimming in front of him, but at least approaching reading with a more positive attitude made him more able to solve some of the word puzzles he was subjected to. Dom asked if he needed to study, and Séamus paused. In reality, the answer was probably yes, but the idea of taking a break with Dom was much more appealing. “F-fresh air s-sounds n-nice.” He said, rising up from the chair he was sitting in so Dom could lead them out of the library.

@dominique

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Séamus didn't seem to like the idea of Dom showing him her journal and she shrugged. If he didn't want to read it, that was fine. It wasn't like she was going to force him or something. Still, she appreciated the idea. Surprisingly, she hadn't even thought of that on her own, but that was alright. After all, she was going through quite a bit lately. "Still, thanks for the idea," she told him sincerely. Dom liked writing and had a feeling that this would help her, though talking to Séamus about it seemed to have already helped in a way. 

Dom grinned when he stood up, agreeing to take a break. She stood up as well, making her way through the library, though it was still way busier than she expected. Why were so many people here today? After a few minutes of dodging through the crowd, they were in the hallway and she turned to face the Slytherin boy. "So, is there anything you want to do, or do you want to just see what we come up with when we get outside." Finding things to do never was a problem for Dom, but if Séamus had any thoughts, she was definitely willing to let him suggest them.

@seamus

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Shay nodded when Dom thanked him again for the idea. “I h-hope it h-helps.” He replied. He could give ideas all the time, but they didn’t matter if they didn’t actually help Dom. Séamus knew that there would be people who say that it was the thought that counted, but he didn’t care about thoughts – he cared about results. That was part of the reason why he was put in Slytherin, after all. While he was generally mild-mannered, Séamus could be stubborn as all hell when he had a goal in mind and wanted to reach it. Maybe, Shay thought with a chuckle to himself, his goal was to make Dominique happy again. That would explain why he was devoting a disproportional amount of time and energy towards making her happy.

Dom asked if there was anything that he wanted to do after they got out of the library, and Shay shrugged. He was easygoing when it came to the activities that he participated in; he wasn’t likely to be enthusiastic about an idea unless it involved plants of some sort, but Séamus wasn’t sure he wanted to drag Dominique into the greenhouse with him. “L-let’s j-just s-see wh-what h-happens.” He suggested. He was sure that Dom would find something for them to get up to once they were outside.

@dominique

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Dom nodded when Séamus said that he hoped his idea helped. "I'll let you know," she answered. If he didn't want to see the journal, she could accept that, but he seemed to be really invested in this idea, so if it did help her, she'd probably let him know. If it didn't help ... well Dom might just not mention it again. She wouldn't want her Slytherin friend to feel bad. 

Naturally, Séamus didn't have any suggestions for what they should do once they got outside, but Dom wasn't particularly surprised. When she did things with people, they rarely offered ideas of what seemed to be done. They seemed to expect her to come up with something for them to do, which Dom didn't mind at all. She enjoyed coming up with things on the spot. "Sounds like a good idea to me," she said, thinking for a few moments as they went outside. Then a thought occurred to her and she turned to her friend. "Wait. Do you do things outside during summer break?" she asked curiously. Dom wanted to know if he spent his summer with flowers or doing something else. That's what she got for being curious

@seamus