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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Jul 6, 2017 16:36:30 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2017 16:36:30 GMT -7
Jamie spent more time than was probably necessary trying to analyze Liona’s face. The Hufflepuff was entirely certain that the smile was just a polite mask, and that made her upset. She was supposed to be the one second-guessing herself here, and Liona’s pretending just meant that the other girl was uncomfortable, too… which begged the question of why they were still there at all, if neither of them was having a good time. For just a moment, a smirk crossed Liona’s face, and of course, Jamie had to overthink that, too. Why was the other girl smirking? Had she done something silly? Did she have something in her teeth? The nerves that Jamie had felt before the meeting began were returning in full force, and the Hufflepuff supposed that was a good thing, because at least she wasn’t terrified of the Slytherin in front of her. When Liona asked if they could dance again, Jamie still kept her mouth shut. She nodded. The room seemed to take that as a cue to start the music again, and Jamie relaxed a little as the song once again swelled to life. “The beginning was always my mother’s favorite part.” Jamie said, surprised by the words coming out of her lips. They were the truth – her mother had always preferred the language that she couldn’t speak, because she said it distracted less from the actual dancing – but the Hufflepuff had spent so much of her time with the Slytherin talking about her mother, when really, the girl she ought to have been talking about was the one in front of her.
@lionaanna
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Jul 11, 2017 1:28:24 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2017 1:28:24 GMT -7
Liona wasn't entirely sure why she held her breath, waiting on the blonde to accept her request to dance again. It was entirely possible that the blonde would say no and, as much as she wanted to say she was prepared for the blonde to walk out of the door, she dreaded it and she knew she would be a bit hurt if she did. She mentally sighed in relief, outwardly exhaling as normally as possible when Jamie nodded her answer before the room started the music back up automatically. She allowed the blonde to lead her once again as the voice of the male singer surrounded them. She was smiling again; Jamie's movements were even less hesitant than before and she lead Liona in the steps that she was becoming familiar with herself. Focusing on the handful of words the blonde spoke, Liona smiled and nodded encouragingly once again. "The beginning is quite lovely. His voice is like a caress." The singer's voice wasn't quite a whisper but his voice was soft and it almost coaxed you to listen in the very beginning of the song. Like it was meant to sweep you into the melody. "Do you have a favorite part?" she asked softly, leaning in a bit closer to her ear. They were close enough so that Liona didn't have to speak loudly in order to be heard and the music wasn't especially loud but it was a habit, something she did often at balls and other parties thrown in pureblood homes where the ballrooms were large with twenty musicians playing together at once and the music needed to be loud enough to spread through the room.
Tag; @jamie OOTD; Here
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Jul 18, 2017 13:52:15 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2017 13:52:15 GMT -7
Liona seemed to be encouraging her every time she spoke, and Jamie wondered why that made her feel so… strange. She didn’t like the idea that she had to be prompted to make conversation, and she liked even less that Liona had noticed that, and was trying to positively enforce every word Jamie said. It was really her fault, though, since she had been so hesitant in the beginning – and still was very hesitant. For someone who prided herself on not holding on to grudges or prejudices, Jamie was still having a hard time wrapping her head around the fact that Liona was the girl in the letters. The Slytherin asked if the Hufflepuff had a favorite part of the song, and Jamie paused for a moment, thinking. She had listened to the song so many times that it was like a well-worn pair of shoes; it was hard to pick a favorite, because the whole thing was soft and comfortable and familiar. If she had to pick, though – Jamie knew that Liona wouldn’t force her to pick, but it felt necessary to answer the question – the Hufflepuff had an idea. “Yes, I would give my heart gladly.” Jamie said, singing it to the tune of the song but over the lyrics that were currently playing. “I think it’s how we should all look at love.” Hearts were something to be given, not taken or stolen, and they were something that had to be given willingly, and happily. Any relationship that involved someone seizing love from another, or someone giving their love away apprehensively, was sure to end, and likely end poorly.
@lionaanna
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Jul 20, 2017 3:50:37 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 3:50:37 GMT -7
Liona was trying to seem casual and relax as she swayed to the music but she was entirely focused on the blonde's every movement, trying to read and hold on to any positive emotion she might exude. At first she thought that Jamie wasn't going to answer her question about the song because nothing but the song and their light movements flowed through the room. And then the look on her face became thoughtful just before she answered. Liona's heart felt heavy at her words. She was right. Was Liona being too hesitant right now? She was so busy trying to block herself off from the girl that she wasn't really giving any of herself to this... date? Is that what this was? A date? She'd said 'I". She'd inserted herself into the lyric as she'd sang it. Liona tried not to read too much into it. They'd talked way too much about assumptions in their letters but she was right. Maybe she needed to open up a little bit more. "I agree," she began before she took a deep breath. She was going to bring it up and she was worried about how she would react but she needed to say something and she hoped that this would alleviate any tension. "Jamie... I'm sorry. About the way I acted. I was rude and I didn't mean to frighten you." she paused because she wasn't entirely sure how to continue but her eyes never left the blonde's face. Liona did not apologize often. Not sincerely anyway. She hoped that her feelings got across in her words, as insignificant as they felt. If this didn't help her open up more, to help her see that Liona was different for her, she wasn't sure what would.
Tag; @jamie OOTD; Here
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Jul 21, 2017 15:58:29 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 21, 2017 15:58:29 GMT -7
Jamie wasn’t at all surprised when Liona agreed with her; she knew that the other girl was trying hard to make her comfortable, and getting into an argument wasn’t the best way to do that. Speaking of arguments… Liona was apologizing, and Jamie felt her throat closing up. She looked away from Liona again. She hated apologies, not because she disliked the idea of trying to make amends, but because it made the entire event come rushing back again, and Jamie would rather not be reminded of that. The Hufflepuff had always felt emotions rather keenly, and having to relive the experience just meant submerging herself in the fear and uncertainty and anger that had come with her various arguments with Liona outside of the room. Jamie took a long, slow breath in through her nose and let it out, trying to push away the feelings. “It’s fine, Liona.” She said quietly, not wanting to explain to the other girl why she seemed so hesitant to accept the apology. Instead of allowing themselves to get bogged down with that subject, Jamie decided to forge ahead. “I’m sorry, too.” She wasn’t sure if she had done anything worth apologizing for, but it was better to get it out of the way while she was still experiencing the rush of feelings, instead of waiting for later when she was feeling good again. “Can we just… forget that?” Jamie asked, voice still small. Again, she wasn’t going to explain to Liona why she was insistent on that, but Jamie wasn’t sure how any relationship could progress if they were both stuck on one horrible first impression.
@lionaanna
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Jul 26, 2017 13:00:25 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2017 13:00:25 GMT -7
She turned away. Jamie turned away from her and air became trapped in Liona's chest and she felt hopeless and... really she didn't know what to do. She thought apologizing would be the way to go but as Jamie spoke to her, voice small and panicked, she felt so hopeless. Apologies were supposed to work. She was being honest and she was apologizing for any harm she'd done and yet this only seemed to wipe away any progress they'd made since entering the room. And then Jamie apologized and Liona wanted to ask her why she was apologizing. She almost did, brow pushed down in confusion as she went to open her mouth but she thought better of it. She closed her mouth and then nodded. She didn't want to argue, she didn't want to fight, she didn't want to inspire any negative feelings in the blonde so if she wanted to apologize, Liona would let her apologize. Anything to stop Jamie's negative reaction to her. She asked if they could forget about it and Liona took a deep breath, still moving with her to the music. She wasn't sure. Jamie didn't seem as if she could get over it so easily and if Jamie couldn't get over it, she couldn't get over it. She wished this was easier and she definitely would not mention any of that to Jamie. If it took her time, Liona would just have to wait. Instead, she gave a light squeeze to the girl's hand that was in her's and gave a small smile. She focused on their dance once again because she felt like the music was going to end soon and the lyrics were ringing in her ears. Her favorite lyric came around again and Liona shut her eyes to take it up. She wanted to focus on that, giving her heart gladly but she could only do so if Jamie was receptive.
Tag; @jamie OOTD; Here
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Jul 29, 2017 16:26:19 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2017 16:26:19 GMT -7
Liona didn’t respond – at least not verbally – to Jamie’s question about forgetting their previous meetings outside of the Room of Requirement, and Jamie’s mouth twisted down into a frown. She should have remembered that sometimes Slytherins enjoyed dwelling in the land of ambiguity, where no one could get mad at them for what they did or didn’t say. If Jamie called Liona on just squeezing her hand as a response, then the other girl would surely explain that the gesture had been meant as an acceptance of the terms, or something like that. But Jamie didn’t want nonverbal signals. She wanted a clear, concise yes, because there was only so many times she could listen to and dance to Girl from Ipanema on repeat. They needed to do more than just dance and make awkward conversation that was as close to silence as two people could get! Jamie was frustrated, because it seemed like Liona was more interested in being polite than in being honest. Maybe that was how people rolled in Slytherin, or, more likely, in pureblood circles, but it wasn’t how Jamie best understood the world. When the music finished, Jamie took one clear step back, dropping her hand off of Liona’s waist to make it clear that she wasn’t going to dance again. But Jamie didn’t want to make another offer just to be refused, or to receive another ambiguous answer. Why couldn’t Liona just be honest with her?
@lionaanna
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Aug 2, 2017 15:26:21 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2017 15:26:21 GMT -7
Liona thought it would be enough, her assuring motions, to appease the Huflepuff so they could move forward but the frown that graced Jamie's features let her know that it wasn't. That hadn't really been truthful and she must have been able to read that, though they only had been so because Liona knew it wasn't that easy. Just because Jamie requested that they forget about it doesn't mean they would. The music ended shortly after and Jamie stepped away from her, dropping her hands completely and she assumed the room took that as a cue because the song did not play over again as she thought it would. Her eyes had never left Jamie and Liona saw the clear frustration hiding in hers. The tables had turned, where Liona had began as the one with the pent up frustration, Jamie stood there now, tightly wound with her eyes speaking volumes. Liona's own hands dropped to her side. She was trying to decide if she should face this head on or change the subject. Maybe change it to the fact that Jamie's coloring looked a bit better since they came in and she didn't look as if she would pass out any longer. She could ask her how long it took for her body to bounce back from her transformation. Changing the subject was probably a terrible idea; Jamie wanted her to talk. Her feet were slow to move but she walked over to the couch she'd sat previously, taking her seat and crossing her legs. "If we want start our," she paused in her wording at the blip in her heart, "Our relationship, I don't think that would be a good idea. You don't want to talk about? Shouldn't we at least talk about it?" she spoke calmly.
Tag; @jamie OOTD; Here
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Aug 11, 2017 18:28:25 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2017 18:28:25 GMT -7
Jamie tried to keep herself from hyperventilating, but it became difficult when Liona mentioned the word ‘relationship’, and even more so when the Slytherin girl insisted that it would be better to talk about the wrong foot that they had got off on. Jamie knew she hadn’t exactly helped with that with the way she had reacted to Liona when they met earlier that day, but she wasn’t going to apologize for how she felt. She was worried that that was what Liona wanted, hence her reticence to broach the subject, but now that it seemed that the other girl wasn’t going to let her get out of it, Jamie decided it was best just to lay all of her cards on the table. She squeezed her eyes shut so that she wouldn’t have to look at Liona, and curled her hands into fists at her side. “I was afraid of you. And I still kind of am. But I don’t like to be afraid of people because I know how it feels to be on the other end, okay?” Jamie wasn’t sure whether she was coming off as rude, or defensive, or what, but it was like as soon as she started talking all of her emotions were shoving to get out. “I know how it feels to have someone look at you and you swear that all they can see is a monster and you don’t want them to think that you’re bad or wrong or dark.” After she had bitten Matt, Jamie had worried that was all that people saw from her, even when they insisted that it wasn’t. Being seen as someone who was evil or scary was difficult. “I know that it hurts to have someone be afraid of you, but I can’t apologize for being afraid of you, because you were scary! You didn’t seem to care about anything that I had to say because it wasn’t what you wanted to hear, and that terrifies me!” There. That got down to the crux of the issue – Liona hadn’t seemed to care about her until she had known that Jamie was the letter writer. The Hufflepuff wasn’t sure that she wanted to involve herself with someone who didn’t treat people as important until she had reason to. In fact, that was normally the kind of person Jamie tried to avoid.
@lionaanna
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Aug 15, 2017 0:59:35 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2017 0:59:35 GMT -7
As Liona had finished talking, she'd hoped Jamie would join her on the couches so they could discuss everything. Maybe sitting down would make everything less intense and Liona could calm the way the blood was rushing through her ears in the silence after she spoke. If Jamie would just sit down and talk to her then maybe things would be okay and they could talk it out and move foward from there. Too many seconds ticked by and Liona took a chance, looking back at the blonde and her brow furrowed just the slightest. Jamie had her eyes closed tight enough that there was creasing at the corners of her eyes. Her fists were clenched and she didn't even seem to be on the verge of moving from where she was standing. Had Liona made a mistake in bringing it up? She'd thought it was the right thing to do, to apologize and talk about it but with the way Jamie stood, she knew that it hadn't been. Jamie let her have it. As soon as Jamie started speaking, Liona turned around in her seat and placed her hands in her lap. Her back was stiff in perfect posture, her head directed to the front, but her eyes were closed. While others crumbled into themselves when faced with odds, this is what she did when she felt closed in. She couldn't do anything but listen as Jamie detailed how she felt and Liona felt an ache form behind her eyes at keywords she heard. Monster. Bad. Wrong. Dark. Jamie's voice reached a crescendo and it was at war with Liona's breathing. The last thing she said almost echoed in the silence of the room before the space filled up with the sound of her breathing. Liona didn't say anything for a moment because she felt it was unwise to speak so soon. She only remembered bits and pieces of what was said but the emotion behind it was resounding: Jamie was afraid of her. Still afraid of her. Her apology wasn't enough. She wasn't sure if she even wanted a relationship with her. And she wouldn't apologize for that, for being afraid of her and acting as such. In that order. She tried not to blame her. She couldn't blame her, really. Liona had been rude and she hadn't done a good job of keeping her emotions in check. She hadn't cared about Jamie or how she'd felt in that moment. She hadn't cared about the Jamie of that moment. But she had cared about her letter writing and doing something for her. Jamie might not have known that but Liona didn't think it would matter. She took a deep breath. And another. She still wouldn't look at Jamie but she spoke anyway. "That's fair." she began, the softness of her voice hiding the sharpness in her head. "I'm not asking you to apologize. I'm just wondering if there is a way for me to help you stop being afraid of me." She wouldn't add the words in her head that remained unspoken. She wouldn't repeat the fact that she wanted the relationship to continue. And she wouldn't do that, throw herself out there, if Jamie was already hesitant. She could ask. That's all.
Tag; @jamie OOTD; Here
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Aug 16, 2017 9:41:24 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2017 9:41:24 GMT -7
After all of the rush of words that she had let out, Jamie was a little disappointed to get just two words in response. She knew already that what she said was fair, because she hadn’t gone out of her way to harm Liona or play the victim or anything. She had just told the truth. Still, Jamie had wanted a bit more – an explanation, maybe. But then, when Liona asked what she could give, the Hufflepuff clammed up. She didn’t want to turn this into an argument, and asking for an explanation from Liona was only going to do just that. Jamie took a deep breath. She knew what she needed, but it felt like a lot to ask. “I just want time.” Jamie said with a sigh. “Just – let me think about it, okay?” Jamie knew she would be able to reconcile the two different Lionas that she knew, but she also knew that sort of thing didn’t happen overnight. She had had to do it with the images she had had of her mother – the woman who had raised and protected her, but also the woman who had allowed her to be bitten by her father because she was afraid. Jamie didn’t know what else she could ask for from Liona. She didn’t want the other girl to not date other people while Jamie took the time she needed to process things, or do anything ridiculous to prove that her intentions were true. Jamie just wasn’t the kind of person who asked for a lot. Even asking for time felt a little unfair, after knowing how much Liona had been looking forward to this visit, and any relationship the two of them might have.
@lionaanna
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Aug 16, 2017 10:53:18 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2017 10:53:18 GMT -7
There was another short stretch of silence before Jamie responded to Liona and she wasn't really surprised by her answer. She needed more time. Liona almost opened her mouth to ask how much time but then maybe that would make her sound rude too. Like she was rushing her. The thought crossed her mind, just from the words that had burst out of her, that maybe the only reason she was entertaining her, the only reason she had stayed so long, is because she didn't want to be rude. She had said she'd known what it was like for someone to think that she was a monster. Maybe she wanted to give Liona a chance to prove she wasn't, not because she had any real interest in her but just because she had been there. She didn't give voice to her thoughts. "Just time," she said the words out loud to test how she felt about them. It wasn't good because once her head filled with doubt it took over every thing but she continued anyway, with a nod of her head. "I can do that." She was asking her to wait once again, like she'd done in their letters, and once again, Liona already could feel her impatience creeping upon her. This time was different though. She really didn't have any choice in the matter what happened next, not if she didn't want to sabotage everything. Her back was still to Jamie and she still wouldn't look at her but she nodded again anyway. "Would you like for me to leave now?" the words tasted bitter but she didn't know where else to go.
Tag; @jamie OOTD; Here
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Aug 16, 2017 11:16:02 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2017 11:16:02 GMT -7
Jamie nodded when Liona repeated her words, not sure if the other girl was doing so because she was uncertain or because she was letting the reality set in. Time was probably the last thing that Liona wanted Jamie to ask for, because other things she could give. Time would only be given as it passed, and like Jamie had been thinking earlier, Liona wasn’t the most patient of people. But the Slytherin said that she could do that – that she could wait – and Jamie nodded. At least Liona was kicking up a fuss now. The Slytherin asked if the Hufflepuff wanted her to leave, and the latter shook her head. “No.” Jamie said with a sigh. “I’ll go.” She paused. “I’ll write you.” Jamie didn’t say when, but she was going to write Liona… as soon as she took the time that she needed. The Hufflepuff finally opened her eyes, looked at the Slytherin once, and then walked out of the Room of Requirement, hoping that she had done the right thing.
@lionaanna
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last online May 10, 2024 12:35:50 GMT -7
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Aug 16, 2017 11:51:26 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2017 11:51:26 GMT -7
Liona exhaled completely at Jamie's insistence on leaving first. Jamie. She didn't turn around but the blonde had to walk in front of her to exit the room and Liona stare followed her until she had retreated completely from the room. before she allowed her facade to drop. She was hurt, she was upset. She had been looking forward to their meeting and, as worried as she had been, she'd actually allowed herself to hope that it would be easier for Jamie to look past her behavior. But she couldn't. Liona stood up from the couch and took a look around the Room of Requirement. Some first meeting. She had the distinct feeling that it was probably the end of all of this, that Jamie would owl her but only to tell her that she no longer wanted to pursue the relationship. Liona had to be prepared for that. She exhaled forcefully to try and let go some of the dark feelings that had overtaken her before she walked out of the Room of Requirement.
Tag; @jamie OOTD; Here (Liona Fine~)
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