it's quiet uptown [ophelia]

[Deleted]

Imogen felt like the world had stopped. That morning, she had been contacted by St. Mungo's, telling her that something had happened to Ophelia. That something had happened to the baby. Her godchild. In that moment, it had felt impossible to breathe, and since that moment, it hadn't gotten any easier. Imogen had informed the headmistress that she was going to have to cancel her classes and take a personal day. She didn't say the reason, because the words lost and dead seemed too big to use for something - someone - that was so small. Her godchild, for whom she had practiced a hundred lullabies and even braved one of those shops full of nothing but baby's clothing. Before she had left for the hospital, Imogen had taken everything that she had bought, and put it in the back of her wardrobe, so that she wouldn't have to look at it for a long while. If it was this bad for her, Imogen couldn't imagine how Ophelia must have been feeling. When she got to St. Mungo's, the Healers tried to explain what had happened, but their words didn't sound like anything but echoes. She didn't care what happened. She cared about the fact that her godchild was gone and her best friend was hurting. The only words that really registered with Im were that Ophelia might be sleeping, but again, she didn't really care. She was going in whether or not Ophelia was asleep. Ophie didn't deserve to wake up alone after what had happened. Imogen pushed open the door, and walked into the room. She didn't even have time to think about whether or not she ought to have brought flowers, or where Ophelia's baby's father was at that moment. All Imogen did was make a beeline for the chair at the side of the bed and sit. The silence in the room wasn't comfortable, but it felt sacred, and Imogen didn't want to be the one to break it.

Ophelia Mae Teller

[Ophelia Mae Teller]

Ophelia had gone through all the stages of grief when she had opened her eyes a few days ago to find herself in the hospital. She hadn’t remembered much of the events leading up to that moment, just falling down the stone steps in that alley way, and a face. She knew she should know that face, but her memory was blocking it out. There was only one thing that mattered to her right now, and that had been the baby had not survived her fall. They’d told her some other details; how Mediwizards arrived on the scene between quickly from an anonymous tip that there was an unconscious woman in the alleyway behind Saint Mungos, how they had delivered her child and had tried everything to keep it - keep her, for it had been a girl - alive, but it was too late. She hadn’t even been able to give her baby girl a proper goodbye, as she had been unconscious the last forty-eight hours due to internal bleeding. She’d never get to see if baby Lydia resembled her or Dakota, if she wanted to play Quidditch or learn about Healing, if she’d get married and have children of her own. The rational part of Ophelia knew that she was young, and obviously fertile; but that child would never replace the one she had come so close to having.

Ophelia lay on her side, eyes closed, pretending to be asleep but really just mulling over what had become of her life now. Koda had been great; never leaving her side, but she needed time to herself, and she knew he’d needed real sleep. Ophie heard someone come in and sit down, but she didn’t move, not just yet. After a few minutes, Ophelia realized whoever it was wasn’t leaving, so slowly she turned over onto her other side, wincing at the pain that had not quite left her stomach. Her eyes widened as she saw it was not Dakota, but Imogen. “Immy?” she managed to say, her voice high and filled with emotion. She reached out one of her hands towards her best friend as the tears began to trickle out of her eyes; her shoulders shook as she began to sob.

@imogen

[Deleted]

When she sat at Ophelia’s bed side, the only thing that Imogen could do was breathe. Breathe in, breathe out. Even that small sound seemed to be impossibly loud. Tears threatened with every breath, but every time Imogen thought it was impossible to hold them back, she would refocus on Ophelia, and realize that her crying was not something that her best friend wanted to wake up too. There was so much to mourn, but it wasn’t Ophelia’s job to carry Imogen’s grief. The longer she sat, the easier it was to push back her feelings to a place where she couldn’t actually feel them. Imogen was an expert at not feeling – it was how she had survived her school years. Now it was proving useful again. After several minutes had crawled by, Ophelia turned. Imogen noticed the wince, and subconsciously reached out, as if by touching her friend she could somehow take away her pain. In only that were possible. It wasn’t Ophelia’s job to bear Imogen’s grief, but if Imogen could carry her friend’s, she would take it gladly. All Ophelia said when she saw the professor was her name – no, not even her name, but a nickname that had been developed over years of friendship and being together. Im just nodded, her already outstretched hand entwining with Ophelia’s.

And then the tears came. Imogen felt like her heart was being squeezed in a vice, listening to Ophelia’s sobs. It didn’t matter how good Im was at hiding her own emotions – there was no way to listen to her friend, so thoroughly broken, and not want to cry herself. Imogen didn’t sob, but there was a steady stream of tears coming out of her eyes. She didn’t move to wipe them away, because that would mean letting go of Ophelia’s hand, and Imogen wasn’t sure if she was physically capable of releasing her grip. They were anchoring each other to the earth when they both so desperately wished to be someplace else – in a different reality where Ophelia’s baby, Imogen’s godchild, was alive. Imogen squeezed Ophelia’s hand. “I came as soon as I heard.” Imogen’s voice scratched at her throat, but she tried to clear away the feeling. From the way the room had been set up, it was likely that she hadn’t heard until Ophelia had already been a patient for quite a while, probably because Imogen didn’t have any right as a medical decision maker. “And I’ll stay as long as you need me.” Im asserted. She couldn’t fix things, and she couldn’t take Ophelia’s pain, but she could be there, and let Ophie know that she was not alone, and she would never be alone, as long as Imogen had a say in things. Anything Ophelia wanted, Imogen would give.

Ophelia Mae Teller

[Ophelia Mae Teller]

Ophelia did not know how long she laid there, holding Imogen’s hand tightly and sobbing her heart out. She cried for the loss of her unborn child, for the hole in her heart where she had been, for the nursery Koda and her had so lovingly set up in his townhome, to the beautiful bassinet in her own bedroom her father had surprised her with. It had been hers he told her, and the faded quilt that was folded neatly on top was the patchwork her mother had done while she had been pregnant with Ophelia. They had come to the hospital the day her accident happened; she had never seen her father cry before. But he held her and cried along with his only daughter; if Ophelia had been lifted from her body to view the scene from anothers’ perspective, it would have seemed almost comical. Her father, straight back, rigid and no nonsense, letting the tears pour down his white blonde beard as he held his distraught child like she was young again in his arms. Now Imogen was here, and Ophelia felt a missing piece of the puzzle that had become her life click into place. Koda, her father, her brother and Imogen; the people that loved and cared for her the most.

Ophelias’ sobs eventually subsided enough so that Imogen could speak and she could hear her. She nodded mutely as Imogen explained she had came as soon as she heard, and that she’d stay for as long as needed. “Thank you,” she croaked, her voice throaty and cracked from the lack of use. “I…” Ophelia started to say, then cleared her throat. She wiped her eyes with her free hand, and tried speaking again. “I just...I can’t remember what happened Im. It’s like something wiped my memory,” she finally managed to get out.

@imogen

[Deleted]

Imogen was glad that it was just the two of them in the room at the moment. She knew all too well what it was like to have your life crumble in front of you and feel like there was no choice other than to break down… but Imogen hadn’t been able to break down in the comfort of a quiet hospital room. All she wanted was for Ophelia to be more comfortable and better equipped to handle this than Imogen had been to handle her own earth-shattering moment… though really, the two had nothing in common other than that they changed the foundations of the world they lived in forever. When Ophelia thanked her, Imogen just nodded. It seemed wrong to accept thanks for doing the only thing she knew how to do, but she also knew that arguing with Ophie was pointless. It would just make both of them feel worse. Imogen reached over to the bedside table, taking a glass of water that was there and holding it out to Ophelia so that her friend could soothe her parched throat. Maybe then it would be easier – physically, at least – to speak.

Im’s heart twisted when Ophelia said that she couldn’t remember what happened. That was normal, wasn’t it? “Sometimes trauma can do strange things to our heads.” Imogen said, the word ‘trauma’ tasting bitter on her tongue. She had barely any recollections from her fifth year, because it had been nothing more than a mess of confusion and betrayal. Her brain had protected her from herself, and it wouldn’t surprise Imogen if Ophelia had done something similar, so that she didn’t have to deal with as many of the details of what had led her child to die.

Ophelia Mae Teller

[Ophelia Mae Teller]

Ophelia shook her head vigorously, then groaned in pain. She gingerly pressed her fingertips to the left back side of her head and winced; she must have fallen and hit her head in that spot, but she couldn’t remember falling. It must have been a pretty bad fall, since now she was no longer going to be a mother and in the hospital, but one would think she’d have a little recollection of the events. “No, it’s not even that it’s strange,” she said slowly, trying to put into words what she was thinking. “I remember walking down the street to my doctors appointment, and then...nothing. It’s as if there was this whole period of time that was just completely…”

Ophelia paused, registering what she was about to say. “Like it was erased,” she finished quietly, then looked up at Imogen. Perhaps it was completely irrational of her to be thinking that; she had just been through a horrible deal after all, so wasn’t it normal that her imagination ran a little wild? Still, the road she had been walking on had been quite flat, and there weren’t any sort of steps or construction sites nearby from what she had seen. She could comprehend blacking out from just before the fall, but something was telling her that she was missing a larger chunk of time than she should be. “But...who would want to wipe my memory, unless they pushed me?” she asked Imogen, sounding completely helpless. She was a good and kind person; she made it her personal promise to never be mean or intolerant or even impolite. Who would want to harm her?

@imogen

[Deleted]

Ophelia shook her head at Imogen’s comment, and the professor furrowed her brows. Ophie didn’t seem to think this was the kind of memory loss that was associated with a traumatic event, and after listening to her friend’s explanation, Imogen had to agree with her. The brain’s defense mechanism didn’t make such clean cuts – it blurred the lines of everything, blacking out entire days or weeks instead of just an hour or two. Ophelia reached the conclusion that her memory must have been erased, and Imogen bit her lip. She wasn’t sure if it was her place to agree with what Ophelia was saying, just in case it was trauma talking. She didn’t want to goad on any fantasies… but at the same time, she didn’t want her friend to believe herself crazy for drawing a conclusion that seemed rather logical.

Like Ophelia said, though, the conclusion just raised more questions. Who would want to push her, and who would want to wipe her memory? And why would they want to do either of those things? “Could it have been something to do with Koda?” Im suggested timidly. She couldn’t think of anyone who held any ill will towards Ophelia, but it was common knowledge that the easiest way to hurt someone was through the people that they loved. If someone had a vendetta against Dakoda, then Ophelia could have been the recipient of the rage, especially since she was carrying his child. Imogen had to ignore the thought that, by that logic, she also could have been the reason that someone had tried to hurt Ophie. She certainly had more than one enemy.

Ophelia Mae Teller

[Ophelia Mae Teller]

Ophelia had to admit, she felt somewhat relieved that Imogen agreed that nobody would have a vendetta against her, not one that would lead to the death of her unborn child at least. “I mean...Koda’s sister Sarah doesn’t like me. But then again I met her when I was covered in her childs’ sick with him screaming bloody murder,” she admitted, then shrugged. “He had the flu, Koda told me that later, which made sense with the fever and upset tummy. But I didn’t give off a great first impression.” Involuntarily, Ophelia shuddered. Something about Sarah made her feel uncomfortable. Whenever she talked or even just smiled, Ophie could always sense the hint of a threat behind it. As in, mess with her and you’ll be sorry. But she was on good terms with Koda! She wouldn’t do anything to purposely hurt him or her...right?

Ophelia sighed and closed her eyes, putting a hand over her closed lids. “Then there’s his uncle Fenrir, we all know what a bloody monster that man is,” she added. She had nothing against werewolves obviously, seeing as Dakota was one, but Fenrir really knew how to embrace his rabid wolf side. From what Koda had told her, he had been furious when his sister ran off with Koda’s dad in the first place; he would hold a grudge against the entire family, she thought. “I don’t think he knows...knew, about the baby, or me for that matter. None of them are really in contact with him to my knowledge, and even so, why would anyone tell him?” she reasoned, starting to babble a little bit as she thought out loud.

@imogen

[Deleted]

Imogen continued to ponder when Ophelia went on to explain that Koda’s sister didn’t like her much. Im had to bite her lip to point out that Mina wasn’t Ophelia’s biggest fan, either, though that was more because of possessiveness of her brother than any actual ill will. Imogen certainly didn’t want to implicate Mina in what had happened. A shiver travelled up Imogen’s spine. Mina was crazy, but not crazy. “Do you think that Sarah is…” Imogen swallowed. “Capable of murder?” The words were beginning to have that familiar bitter flavor, just as the words earlier in the conversation had had. They tasted like everything that she had lost, and Imogen wasn’t sure whether talking about the circumstances was helping or hurting her in her quest to make sense of everything that had happened. Moving on could only happen after she had figured it out, so never being able to solve this mystery could very well keep Imogen from moving on, too.

Imogen was not going to debate that Fenrir was a monster; anyone with half of a brain knew that. What Ophelia said about Fenrir having a vendetta against the family made sense, except… “If anything, I think Dakoda’s uncle would want you to have the baby.” Imogen mused. “He seems to be very keen on spreading werewolf genes into the world.” Anyone at Hogwarts could see that, considering there were… what, four Greyback children there? If Fenrir somehow expected the children he fathered and then abandoned to join his werewolf uprising, then who was to say he wasn’t stupid enough to believe that his nephew’s child would feel the same way?

Ophelia Mae Teller

[Ophelia Mae Teller]

Ophelia knew Imogen was aware she meant Sarah, but the brief look that flashed across her face reminded the young woman that Im was also very close with Mina Wulfe, another one who was not a fan of her. Why did it seem to be that only the Wulfes seemed to dislike her so? She knew Mina’s devotion to Dakota was...mildly unhealthy, but she had always tried to be kind and friendly towards the younger woman. Ophie’s shoulders sagged slightly, looking up only when Imogen asked if she thought Sarah was capable of murder. “Yes, especially if she feels threatened in any way,” she said immediately. Ophelia obviously had no concrete proof that Sarah was capable of murder, but she had been only a year under them in school and her expulsion had to do with her...less than docile tendencies.

“There’s also another possibility, one that doesn’t include someone wanting to intentionally harm me,” Ophelia added quietly. “It could have been an accident, and whoever caused it doesn’t want to be implicated.” Fenrir or one of his followers would make sense in that type of scenario; he would have wanted to keep the baby alive but if that plan went awry he wouldn’t want to have his dirty fingerprints all over it. “I wish there was a way to retrieve my memories if they were indeed Obliviated,” Ophie declared, clearly frustrated over the entire situation. The sadness she’d been feeling the past few days was swirling around in her heart, but now she found anger there too. Ophelia was never an angry person, but if there was someone else that caused her to lose her baby daughter, she would not want any mercy shown to them.

@imogen

[Deleted]

Imogen was almost glad that she had lost control of her Metamorphmagus powers the moment she had learned of the loss of her godchild. Otherwise, her hair or her eyes might have betrayed her worry when Ophelia said that she believed that Sarah was capable of murder. The second-eldest Wulfe had been expelled from school, and that, combined with her mean streak and Ophelia’s low opinion of her, spoke volumes to Imogen. She was of the opinion that everyone was innocent until proven guilty – mostly – but that didn’t stop her of being suspicious of Sarah.

“If they were really innocent, why would they Obliviate you, though?” Only guilty people really had anything to hide, and Ophelia was a good person. If had really been an accident – if someone had tripped her or bumped her to cause the fall – then she wasn’t going to go after them for money or anything. Of course she would be upset, but really, who wouldn’t be upset? And helping her get to St. Mungo’s would have helped erase any notions of ill will. Things just didn’t add up, and Imogen began to wonder if her own jadedness and paranoia was painting itself onto this situation. Maybe, Im thought, it would be better to take a break from thinking about the circumstances surrounding the loss of the child and return to it when emotions were less likely to cloud her thinking. Imogen wasn’t sure that the fear and anger and disappointment would ever leave her fully, but they would fade with time, and maybe the paranoia would fade with it. “It depends on what kind of memory charm was used on you.” Imogen said, going into full professor mode. “Some delete memories, others hide them, and others overwrite them.” From what Ophelia had said so far, it was probable that her memories had either been deleted or hidden – it made little sense to overwrite memories with just blackness. If it was the former, then there was no way of retrieving them, but if the latter… there was hope yet.

Ophelia Mae Teller

[Ophelia Mae Teller]

Ophelia’s lips twisted as she thought about it, then sighed. “They wouldn’t be, would they,” she admitted, sounding defeated. She just didn’t understand why anyone would want to intentionally harm her, or her baby. Perhaps whoever had done it only did it accidentally, and didn’t want her finding out they had anything to do with it. “But why not just be honest?” she said out loud, turning towards Imogen with a sad smile. “If someone had caused this to happen accidentally, then they should just be honest with me. You know me, Im, I’m too nice to stay mad for long if it didn’t mean to happen,” she said wistfully.

In truth, the idea that she had been Obliviated, to cover an accident or an actual attempt of harm, was beginning to make her feel...angry. Ophelia rarely got angry; indeed the only time she had truly felt anger was the day her mother had died. The anger had mixed with anguish, despair and sadness, but with her mothers’ death she knew it had been coming all along. Her mother had been a Muggle, and she refused to let her wizard husband cure her of her cancer. It was her time, and he must let her go, she had told him. Ophelia had been angry with her mother then, for giving up, but she soon came to realize that her mother was just a true believer of fate and destiny, until the very end. She would not compromise her beliefs to be magically saved; who knew if the magical treatments would be successful indefinitely, or if the cancer would have reared its’ ugly head again. But this? Ophelia had no warning, and now no memory of her child dying inside her as she was assaulted. Ophelia felt her nails digging into her palms; she looked down and saw she had drawn blood. She tried to take a calming breath, in through the nose, out through the mouth, but the corners of her vision began to turn red. “Whoever did this is going to pay,” she spat, sounding almost like a stranger speaking from her vocal cords.

@imogen

[Deleted]

Imogen nodded when her friend admitted that someone who was innocent wouldn’t Obliviate her. It was one of those things that Imogen hated being correct about. It would have been so much easier for both of them to stomach if it had all been one unfortunate accident. “I don’t know why someone would want to lie, Ophelia.” Imogen said sadly. She didn’t know why someone would try to injure Ophelia in the first place, mostly because Imogen didn’t understand why someone would ever want to hurt someone else, period. “I think we’ve already crossed that bridge, Ophie.” Imogen said sadly. Even if this all was one huge accident that had been covered up because someone was afraid of the ramifications, the fact that Ophelia had been Obliviated made it a lot more suspicious, and a lot messier.

Imogen watched, practically able to see the wheels turning in Ophelia’s head. When her friend glanced down at her hands, Im looked down, too, and saw the tiny crescents of red that Ophelia had created by cutting into her palms with her fingernails. A wave of fear rolled through Imogen’s stomach – she wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, because the Ophelia that she knew would never accidentally puncture her own skin. The Ophelia she knew wouldn’t have that look in her eye, and… Imogen paused, listening to what the other Hufflepuff had to say. The Ophelia she knew wouldn’t have promised revenge, either. The professor sighed. She knew that it was her job to intervene, to guide Ophelia back onto the path that she should be walking… but she was about to be a hypocrite, and she knew it. “Ophelia…” She began softly. “Don’t let your need for revenge destroy you.” Imogen cleared her throat, and abruptly stood up walking away from the bed so that she didn’t have to look Ophelia in the eyes when she said her next words. “Don’t become like me, Ophie. It’s no life to live, to hate someone else more than you love yourself.” In taking revenge, Ophelia would be giving up everything that she held dear – kindness and empathy and healing. Imogen didn’t want her friend doing something she would one day would regret because in the heat of the moment that seemed to be the only way to avenge her child.

Ophelia Mae Teller

[Ophelia Mae Teller]

Ophelia’s hands lay limp to her side as Imogen got up and walked a few paces away. Even from a small distance, the words hit her like a ton of bricks sliding into her stomach. Her best friend was right of course; revenge wouldn’t bring Lydia back to her. Revenge would only turn her down a path where she might not be able to return from. Worse yet, it could turn her into someone like Sarah. Ophie shook her head, a tear falling from her eye onto her lap. She didn’t want to be like that werewolf; so consumed with making people feel uncomfortable, and getting offended by the tiniest slight in the world. Ophelia’s instincts were all pointing towards Sarah having to do with her miscarriage, but she had no proof, and she couldn’t let finding that proof consume her life and forget to live. “You’re right Immy, of course you’re right,” she whispered softly, tucking up her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them.

“You’re not that consumed anymore though Im, you’ve survived almost a full year at Hogwarts without anything too terrible happening, right?” Ophelia asked, trying to sound positive. She knew Imogen had been angry with her when she had first asked the Hufflepuff to go easy on the Gryffindors, but they had made up since then. Ophelia was sure though if anything really bad happened, Imogen would have said something. She sighed, and rested her head back on her pillows. Looking to the side, she noticed a rolled up piece of parchment on her bedside table. “Im did you leave this here?” she asked, wincing a little as she reached over to pick it up. She unscrolled and scanned the letter, her face going blank as she reached the bottom. “It’s from Dakota; he says he can’t stay here any longer and that he’s left for the Continent,” she said, her voice in monotone. She couldn’t even muster up any unused tears in her ducts; it was just another blow to Ophelia’s already shattered heart. How much more could she take before she’d completely crack?

@imogen

</3

[Deleted]

Imogen sighed a little when Ophelia said that she wasn’t consumed anymore. She would love it if that was true, but it wasn’t. “Just because nothing horrible happened doesn’t mean I’m over it, Ophie.” She said quietly. “My heart still skips a beat every time a Gryffindor boy walks into my classroom and there are still some days where I don’t want to look any of them in the eye and –” Imogen cut herself off. Today wasn’t a day for spilling her guts about the lasting effects that the trauma of being outed had had on her. Today was Ophelia’s day to feel pain, without anyone making her feel guilty for feeling it or anyone making her feel like there was something more important to be talked about. When her friend asked her about leaving a note somewhere, Imogen turned around, frowning. She didn’t remember leaving a note, but maybe seeing it would jog her memory? No, it wasn’t from her – Ophelia read it and announced in short order that the letter was from Dakoda, and that he was returning for the Continent.

It was poor timing, to have that announcement made right after Imogen had just gotten up on her soapbox about revenge, because she felt a flash of something in her, a rage that had once only been saved for the person who had broken her. Now she was angry for Ophelia. Dakoda hadn’t broken her, no, but he had rubbed salt in wounds that were painful enough without Dakoda making it worse. Imogen took a deep, steadying breath. “I’m not leaving.” Imogen winced. That was the wrong thing to say, because this wasn’t supposed to be about her. She tried again, hoping her words were more supportive. “What can I do?” It was still probably not the best thing, because that expected Ophelia to have the answers, but Imogen was trying. “Short of wiping the Oliveira family off this planet, of course.” Despite her preaching, Imogen was still willing to exact revenge herself. Her taking revenge was more palatable than Ophelia doing it. Ophelia lived a life that was pure, and clean. And Imogen? It didn’t matter what she did, because her hands were already dirty, her ledger stained in red.

Ophelia Mae Teller