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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Jul 19, 2017 9:58:16 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2017 9:58:16 GMT -7
Attending the Phoenix Rising meeting had made Natalia realize just how many bridges she had burned over her years at Hogwarts. Not even burned, Nat thought with a twist of her mouth - how many bridges she had never even tried to build. She had been trying to get better at talking to people, but it was difficult when she was always beyond tired and snappish thanks to her recurring nightmares. The only times she wasn't haunted by her father's torture were when she used potions to aid her sleep, and that wasn't sustainable. She knew enough about healing to realize that. Natalia wasn't good at approaching people, either, which made the whole half-built, half-burned bridges situation even more frustrating. Being with James had been helpful in making more friends, since he was constantly jumping to her defense, and he had been the reason she was at the Phoenix Rising meeting in the first place, but Natalia was hopeful that she'd be able to help create or mend relationships outside of James's realm of influence - like her relationship with her sister - but she honestly didn't know where to start. Sitting in the Ravenclaw common room wasn't exactly conducive to making friends, especially since Nat wasn't speaking, but maybe being available would inspire a conversation? She didn't know.
@ghostethan
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Jul 20, 2017 10:29:47 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 10:29:47 GMT -7
Phoenix Rising had just had a meeting, and Ethan for one was happy it happened. It proved that Natalia and Andromeda weren't in the wrong, even if some people still didn't believe it. But James supported them, and that was good enough for Ethan. Ethan didn't know either girl that well, but Natalia was in her house and his year, so he figured he should at least make an effort... he was nervous just thinking about it. Not because he was afraid of her or anything, but just because he had a hard time making new friends without someone introducing them. When the meeting ended, people were starting to leave when he moved to where Natalia had been, and stood their awkwardly for a moment before walking away again. He hoped she didn't notice... he realized he should have asked her to walk back to the Common Room with him, but he was being a wimp and she was gone before he found the guts.
He made his way back after a moment, letting her get ahead of him with some others between them. Finally, after sitting in the common room thinking about it for twenty minutes, he moved over to her and sat down beside her. "Hey Nat-Natalia," he said softly. Oh, come on, Ethan. That's no way to greet someone. He cleared his throat, "Natalia," he repeated, "I just wanted to say... I'm glad you're here. I mean, back at school and all."
@natalia
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Jul 20, 2017 11:36:06 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 11:36:06 GMT -7
Natalia was surprised when Ethan approached her upon getting to the common room. Normally when she thought about something happening to her, the world decided to get to do the opposite. When she wanted to be happy, fate had a way of making her sad, or angry, or fearful… But she was going to accept this. She wasn’t going to second-guess it, because it was illogical to push away something that could be good just because it could turn out badly. Ethan greeted her with a bit of a stutter… and then said that he was glad she was back. “Nat is fine.” She said quietly. Natalia was her name, yes, but she was growing more and more fond of the nickname, too. Natalia was who she was, but Nat was who she was becoming – and the Ravenclaw was determined to embrace both of them. “I’m… glad to be back, too.” Nat responded, her voice still soft. It hadn’t been easy to come back to Hogwarts, because rumors could never really die and her time away hadn’t been the most pleasant, either… but she was back with her people now, and that was important. “I, uh…” Natalia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for… everything.” She couldn’t really say if there was a particular instance where she had been cruel to Ethan, but she knew that she hadn’t been nice to him, either.
@ghostethan
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Jul 20, 2017 11:42:57 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 11:42:57 GMT -7
She said that Nat was fine, and he nodded slowly. She talked quietly, too, which actually made him feel a little better. Then she said she was glad to be back too, her voice still unsure and soft as his was. Ethan was a caregiver at heart, so hearing someone who needed help always made it easier for him to be outgoing. Not necessarily that she was asking for help, but she was just as quiet as he was, which made it easier for him to dial up the confidence to start. He was about to speak again, when Nat started up. She closed her eyes, took a breath, and... apologized? He chewed the inside of his cheek a little as she said it, trying to think of what she could be sorry for. Well, she wasn't like the nicest person in the tower... there was a reason people jumped to think she had murdered someone. He took in a deep breath himself and shook his head, looking away from her and straight ahead for a moment, "no, don't... don't worry about it, Nat," he said, voice still soft. He turned back to look at her, offering a small smile, "I believe in you, you know. I mean, you didn't know. But I want you to know that." And he really did. He trusted her.
@natalia
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Jul 20, 2017 11:55:03 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 11:55:03 GMT -7
Natalia blinked at Ethan when he said that she didn’t have to worry about it. Was it really that easy for some people to forgive? Nat didn’t hold grudges – at least not bad ones – but she didn’t think that seven years of silence and coldness could be erased with just one apology. Once again, though, it seemed illogical for Nat to push something good away. She was going to work on embracing the good more. Maybe then by the time she graduated she could start behaving like a normal human being instead of a robot. When Ethan said that he believed in her… Nat choked up a little. So many people had told her that if James believed in her, they did, but Ethan didn’t say anything about James. It wasn’t James thinks you’re good, so you must be. It was You are good. Natalia wasn’t sure that anyone – any student, that was – had told her that with so much candor. Realizing that she was being awkwardly quiet, Nat blinked again. “I – thank you.” She bit her lip. “I… need people who believe in me.” She said. That was not the smoothest that she had been, but Natalia was working on being honest instead of just polite or silver-tongued.
@ghostethan
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Jul 20, 2017 12:02:12 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2017 12:02:12 GMT -7
He couldn't read what she was thinking, but he also wasn't really trying to. He liked to let people tell him what they wanted him to hear, rather then him trying to guess. She was quiet for so long he was afraid that he had said something wrong... but then she spoke. She thanked him and he just gave a soft nod as she bit her lip. But then she added that she needed people who believed in her, and he breathed out a short laugh, a sweet one, his eyes focused on hers. "Don't we all," he suggested softly. Then he nodded absentmindedly, "especially people who have been... well, people shouldn't assume things without getting to know someone themselves," he added. Then he took in a long breath, rolling his shoulders back, "and I'd like to do that... and I'm sorry it took me so long to actually try."
@natalia
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Jul 25, 2017 18:03:57 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2017 18:03:57 GMT -7
Natalia gave Ethan a small smile when he said that they all needed more people that believed in them. She hadn’t thought of it that way – how even someone like James, who had a lot of friends and people who cared for him – could still use an extra person or two in his life. If he had been content with just the people that he had had… then they never would have been together. And then where would she be? Not everything in Nat’s life had happened because of James, but she would be lying if she said that things wouldn’t have looked very different without him. Ethan apologized for taking so long to try to be get to know her, and Nat felt her heart shudder a little, like it wasn’t sure whether it ought to skip a beat or break straight in two. “I wouldn’t have made it easy for you to try.” Natalia said. She appreciated the sentiment, but really, before now, she probably wouldn’t have let Ethan get to know her. And honestly, was there much to know? Looking back, Nat sometimes wondered if she was anything more than a puppet shrouded in a shell of ice. No one needed to know that.
@ghostethan
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Jul 28, 2017 19:15:53 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2017 19:15:53 GMT -7
He supposed she had a bit of a point there... but he just nodded his head, not commenting for the moment. He clasped his hands together in front of him and rubbed them together before turning back to look at her, his smile still on his face. The small, encouraging one that he found often with people. "Well," he chuckled a little, "we make quite a pair, don't we?" he perked up a little, his smile growing more enthused as he scooted away from her just a little in order to turn toward her more. "What's your favorite color?" yes, he was going to start getting to know her, since he never had. Starting with the simple questions, because that was easier and sometimes more fun.
@natalia
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Aug 7, 2017 9:21:19 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 9:21:19 GMT -7
Natalia grinned at Ethan when he said that they made quite a pair. Him, a Mud - Muggleborn, and her, a pureblood, both limping their way through a conversation in the Ravenclaw common room in an attempt to find some common ground. In years past, Natalia would have never imagined this possible. But now, so many doors seemed to be open, and so much seemed possible… including, surprisingly enough, having a favorite color. It wasn’t that Natalia had never considered that before, just that she had never really thought that the information would be important. “Taupe.” She responded when Ethan asked the question. “But warmer. I guess… maybe dull bronze would be a better way to put it?” Nat worried her lip between her teeth. “It’s a very specific shade of brown.” She finally settled on. She would know it if she saw it, and if Ethan happened to be there when it happened, then Nat would definitely point it out. “What about you?” Nat was willing to bet that Ethan’s favorite color was bright – maybe yellow. Nothing like her more muted preferences.
@ghostethan
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Aug 14, 2017 13:50:40 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2017 13:50:40 GMT -7
She said her favorite color and he grinned. He hadn't really thought about that as a favorite color. She explained it more, talking about warmth and bronze. Then, when she said it was specific, he chuckled a little. "Well, it sounds like a beautiful color. Sometime you'll have to show me," he suggested. "I like green... I haven't really though of a specific kind though," he explained. "I like... grass... and leaves. But not necessarily the dark kind," his brow had furrowed into a serious face and then he started to laugh a little again. "This is good! Color specificity is important," he added. "Okay, you pick the next question," he suggested, shifting to get more comfortable.
@natalia
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Aug 19, 2017 13:30:19 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2017 13:30:19 GMT -7
Natalia relaxed a little when Ethan didn’t seem bothered by her inability to describe exactly her favorite color. She looked the room once over to make sure that a sample of the shade wasn’t in plain sight, but no such like. She listened, slightly amused, when Ethan said that he liked the color green, but hadn’t thought about a specific kind. She smiled when he said that color specificity was important. “Sometimes generalizations are okay, too.” She didn’t expect everyone to be able to name their exact preferred shade on demand. Ethan said that she was allowed to pick the next question, and Nat’s eyes widened slightly. She hadn’t been prepared for this! “Can you cast a Patronus?” She blurted out. Natalia wasn’t sure why that was relevant, or why the question had popped into her head, since it wasn’t one of the traditional ‘getting to know you’ things, but the words were out now.
@ghostethan
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Aug 25, 2017 6:22:50 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 6:22:50 GMT -7
Natalia said generalizations could be okay too and Ethans smile grew. That was a nice thought, and it meant he didn't need to pick a specific color... Though he still might work on that in his brain over the next few hours. She looked surprised when he told her to pick a question and then asked one rather abruptly. He smiled and gave a short nod. "Yes. It's a dove," he explained. "My sister loves doves," he added. In naturally made sense to him that his patronus would reflect on Annie in some way, since she was basically his world. "And... You?" he asked, just now realizing how personal the question was. He felt kind of bad for asking it, even though she started it.
@natalia (Not done with this yet haha)
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Sept 12, 2017 18:05:46 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2017 18:05:46 GMT -7
Natalia smiled when Ethan said that his Patronus was a dove, and his sister loved the bird. She wondered what her own Patronus would be, and if it would reflect Andy somehow. More likely it would reflect James in some way. “I don’t think I could.” There was no use in mincing words in that sense. Natalia’s mouth pressed itself into a thin line. She didn’t want to throw herself a pity party, certainly not now, when things were going so well, but there were so few memories in her life that weren’t tainted now, and even fewer that even approached the level of happiness that she imagined would be necessary to cast a corporeal Patronus. “It’s not really necessary for what I want to do, though. Heal.” Nat added, so Ethan wouldn’t feel too bad about her deficit.
@ghostethan (the first time Nat cast a Patronus was New Year's Eve)
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Sept 19, 2017 4:39:34 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2017 4:39:34 GMT -7
She said she didn't think she could and he just nodded once, accepting that. She said it wasn't really necessary for healing. "I suppose not," it wasn't really necessary for him either... not as a Quidditch player. Maybe as a professor, sure. "I think it's always a good way to challenge yourself magic wise, but it's not easy," he explained. "I do like a challenge, though," and he did. He was lucky to have many, many good memories to choose from. Ethan had a happy life, after all. There were very few things that truly brought him down at this point. He was in the best place he could be.
@natalia (oooh yess)
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last online May 15, 2024 20:25:50 GMT -7
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Sept 27, 2017 14:17:19 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2017 14:17:19 GMT -7
Ethan said that the Patronus Charm was a good way to challenge herself, and the Ravenclaw girl shrugged. “Living is enough of a challenge on its own sometimes.” Natalia replied. She hated talking about her recent recall to the Lestrange Manor and how much damage it had done to her psyche, but it wasn’t hard to surmise what she meant from her words – that her life wasn’t easy. Natalia didn’t want pity, though, least of all from… Don’t think the word. And that was the sort of thing that made life hard – the fact that people were good and kind to her but there was still something in her that screamed that Ethan was less because of the way that she was brought up. “I like a challenge, too.” She responded with the smallest of smirks. Changing was a challenge, but Natalia would be damned if it wasn’t a worthwhile one.
@ghostethan
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