But We're Still Unaware as Why (Odette | TW: Child Loss)

[maxima ruqayyah greyback]

Maxima's mind raced as she walked—with an Auror escort, no less—to the matron nurse's office. The words "Hospital Wing" had made her fearful, initially, that she was going to walk in and see the rest of her half-siblings gathered around another one of them, the way they had done with her, but she knew that she wouldn't be going to the matron's office directly if that were the case. She wasn't in trouble with anyone—or she didn't think that she was; Professor McGonagall's name hadn't once been mentioned.

If anything, she hoped that she would be getting answers. After what had happened with that boy, she needed confirmation one way or another. If it really was just an accident caused by some magic that she hadn't yet been able to rein in, then she was a late bloomer in some regard. If someone had a legitimate explanation for why she could—seemingly—heal others with just a touch, despite being too young for most other forms of wandless magic, then at least she would know something, and that was all she wanted as she reached the office door.

Since she knew that she was expected, Max didn't knock. Instead, she took a deep breath that bordered on a sigh, opened the door and stepped inside. “Madam Blacksmith, I—”

But it wasn't the matron who sat at the matron's place at her desk. It was Odette. “Odette?” Max paused in the doorway. She hadn't seen the elder of her two half-sisters in the longest time, and she had only seen her appear so distraught that once. It had been when she was the one in the hospital bed, after she'd tried to poison herself.

Max turned her head and was relieved to see that the Auror hadn't followed her inside the office. Her eyes began to fill with tears at her half-sister's silence. “Odette,” she repeated shakily, “what's wrong?”

@odette

[Deleted]

It was taking a lot for Odette to not absolutely break out into a sweat. She finally felt as though she had cried out all the tears she possibly could, luckily, so she prayed to the gods that she wouldn't cry again when she had to tell Max what happened. But the thing was, Max didn't even know to begin with. Odette had not been very noticeable, and she had not yet seen Max to tell her that she was expecting. She assumed that maybe Max knew about Jacob, maybe but she couldn't be sure. She decided she would discuss him if it came to it, but talking about the baby was going to be hard enough.

Just as she had when she had spoken to Jamie, Odette's hands lay stiffly in her lap - tightly knitted together. She awaited for her youngest sibling to walk into the nurse's office. Jamie had left around fifteen minutes ago, much to Odette's dismay. She knew she had to talk to Max alone, though. Max herself had been through a lot, and Odette figured she needed to be there for here just as much as Odette needed her to be there for herself.

Finally, Odette heard Max enter the room and her breath hitched when she heard the young Slytherin address Madam Blacksmith first before slowly realizing that she was instead facing Odette. The former Ravenclaw looked up at her sister and could see the tears forming in her eyes and Odette swallowed hard. She knew that if she weren't so dried up from crying, she would probably be crying now. "Max," she started, standing up and moving over to her sister. "I need to tell you something." She placed her hands on her sister's shoulders. "But I need you to understand first that nothing is..." she swallowed again as she struggled to find the proper wording. "Nothing is wrong anymore."

maxima ruqayyah greyback

[maxima ruqayyah greyback]

“Max, I need to tell you something.” Those words alone weren't enough for her to be able to tell what was going on or what had happened or what Odette was doing at Hogwarts at all, and Max wasn't sure if she wanted Odette to continue. Whatever the “something” was, it didn't sound good, and Max looked into her half-sister's eyes when she felt her hands upon her shoulders. “But I need you to understand first that nothing is…”

Preparing to speak to fill in the gaps for herself, Max waited. She knew that Odette needed to be the one to say whatever she had to.

“Nothing is wrong anymore.”

It wasn't what Max had been expecting to hear. There were a lot of things that could have related to “nothing”, and neither did Odette's addition of the word “anymore” help, when there was still a reason why the two of them were standing in the matron nurse's office, of all places.

“I… understand,” nodded Max, who was still confused as to what it was that she was supposed to have understood. “Wh-Whatever it is, Odette,” she added, stumbling over her words, “I-I'll be fine.” If triggering her was what Odette was so concerned about, she'd be alright. “Just… tell me. Okay?”

@odette

[Deleted]

The last thing Odette wanted was to make any of her siblings feel like she couldn't tell them anything. The only reason she had taken so long to tell any of them about the baby in the first place was because so soon after learning about said baby, Jacob died. And Odette had handled it so badly, she spent days balled up on her couch alone. She couldn't face anyone. It hit her then that she still had so many others to tell and this was only the beginning.

Odette got up and walked around the table and over to Max. She swallowed and took another moment before she was able to find the words but when she did, she slowly reach up and rest her hand on Max's right shoulder as she met her sister's eyes (which was a much harder feat than she had thought it would be.) "Max... I - I was pregnant," she finally said, her voice slightly more quiet than usual. "But I... I lost the baby." Her last few words got lost somewhere in her voice and came out more choked than anything as she felt the sting of tears once again her eyes.

maxima ruqayyah greyback

[maxima ruqayyah greyback]

Max couldn't have anticipated what Odette told her next. She had been pregnant, she said quietly, but she had lost the baby. Odette had been pregnant, and she hadn't known that she was going to become an aunt—and now she wouldn't be one. There were so many things that remained unanswered, and how long Odette had known was among them.

She hadn't even realized that Odette had been in a relationship with anyone, though that wasn't a subject that she intended to bring up for as long as there continued to be tears in her half-sister's eyes. Odette was old enough to make her own decisions about that kind of thing, and it was possible, of course, that she had gotten pregnant without having been in a committed relationship with the father at all.

Unsure of what to say at first, and still trying to process the news herself, Max simply pulled Odette into a light, gentle hug and held her there. “I-I'm sorry,” she tried to console her at a whisper. The last time that she had ever had anyone close to her who was pregnant, it had been her mother with her maternal half-siblings. She could remember it, but she had been much younger then.

What if she had known about Odette's pregnancy sooner? Max didn't know how possible it was, but she had to wonder if she could have done something to change the outcome. If she could really heal people, who was to say that she couldn't have—possibly—done something to help? It didn't seem entirely impossible.

“I'm sorry,” she repeated to Odette. She wished that she had known; she wished that she could have done something, but it was too late for that.

Slowly, Max pulled away from Odette, looking for a tissue in their immediate vicinity that she could hand to her. Finding nothing, she frowned slightly but made sure not to frown in Odette's direction. She remembered how suffocating it was to have people look at her with some sort of pity, as though she could break if someone looked at her in the wrong way, and she doubted that Odette wanted that, either.

“I'm here,” she promised, looking Odette in the eyes again. Being only allowed to go as far as the village on certain weekends, she knew that she was limited in how she could help Odette once she left the castle, which made it that much more important to her to convey her support in person while she still could. Odette had been there when she'd needed her, after all.

“Do you… want me to check if the nurses have got any tea?” Max offered after another moment, sure that they must have had some somewhere. They hadn't seemed very busy when she had come in, so she didn't think they would mind the request.

@odette

[Deleted]

Since Odette had never got around to telling Max about her pregnancy, she was a little nervous of how Max would respond to the news of hearing both at the same time. But when Max pulled her into a hug, Odette found that she was relieved. Relieved enough that she let the few tears she had been trying to hold back fall down her cheeks as she hugged her youngest sibling. She didn't say anything for a couple moments as Max said she was sorry; sorry for her. Odette never thought she'd be in this position, so she was still sort of reeling from the reality of it all.

Odette sniffed, not wanting to fall into a fit of sobs again, and when Max made eye contact with her Odette felt a strange feeling telling her that she had to be strong. Or that, with the support from her family she could be. Being one of the oldest in the family, Odette felt she had to be some sort of rock. Perhaps that had also been why she had always been so cold to Adrian and Jamie, too, when she first met them. But she was learning to let her guard down, especially with her family. Odette couldn't manage a smile just yet, but she nodded gratefully at Max's offer to ask the nurses for some tea. "Th-that would be lovely," she agreed.

maxima ruqayyah greyback

[maxima ruqayyah greyback]

Max stepped out of the room for just long enough to see if one of the nurses was free to bring them a few tea bags, as Odette had agreed she should. Told that it would be a moment before someone could get to them, she nodded and returned to the matron's office, not wanting to leave her older half-sister alone.

When she stepped back inside, Max looked to Odette. She didn't say anything at first; she just stood there. Barely above a whisper, she asked that burning question. “Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?” She wasn't being accusatory; she didn't think that Odette had intended to keep anything so important from her, but there was still that “why” that would continue to bother her until she had some reason. It didn't even have to be a good reason, she thought.

She told herself that she didn't care what Odette's reasoning had been, but that was a lie. Max wanted to know why she hadn't mentioned it. “I—” The words got caught in the back of her throat. “I can…” How was she supposed to explain it without sounding as though she needed to be put in St. Mungo's herself?

“I can heal people,” Max stated after a deep breath. She didn't know how much or how little she could have done, but there it was. “With—Without a wand, Odette.” But it was more than wandless magic. “It's like…” She needed Odette to understand that it was real and that she hadn't lost her mind. All of the details might not have made themselves apparent yet, but she knew that whatever she could do was beyond normal. “I can heal people just by touching them.”

She didn't say it, but she thought it: Maybe I could have saved your baby.

@odette

[Deleted]

Odette should have been more prepared for the question that Maxima asked her after she returned from asking for some tea. She had sprung this on Max, who hadn't even known from the beginning about the baby. The eldest Greyback felt awful that she had not even had the chance to tell the whole family, but at the same time she was glad. She didn't want everyone to have been so happy only to get so sad when she lost it, like she had. "I... uh," Odette took in a deep breath and looked down at her hands in her lap. "The father. He, uh, he passed about a month before the baby." She said, taking in another deep breath, trying so hard to keep herself together. "A-and I hadn't known long before that." She shook her head. She didn't think she could talk about Jacob, even still.

The former Ravenclaw looked at her sister now as she seemed to struggle with words. Odette's brow was furrowed in concern and sadness as she waited to see what Max was trying to say, and when she finally got it out she felt her lips part just slightly in surprise. Max could heal people? Odette blinked at her younger half sister for a minute. "W-what?" Was all she could manage to say.

maxima ruqayyah greyback

[maxima ruqayyah greyback]

“I… uh,” Odette began, in explaining why she hadn't mentioned anything about the pregnancy until she had lost the baby. “The father.” Max didn't care who the father had been, if that was what Odette was so worried about. They already shared one of the worst fathers imaginable, a werewolf known for his brutality. How much worse could it get?

That, however, wasn't Odette's concern. “He, uh, he passed about a month before the baby.” He was dead, and, now, so was their child. She probably hadn't intended to bring it up at all, since his death was so recent, but that must have changed because of what had happened to the baby. “A-and I hadn't known long before that.”

Max nodded. As long as it wasn't because Odette felt that she couldn't trust her, she was understanding. She hoped that Odette would be of a similar mind towards her own news.

“W-what?”

That had been about the same as her own reaction, Max thought. Trying to explain something that she didn't fully understand was only going to make her sound ridiculous, she knew, but she had to try. “There was this first-year boy,” she began, “and he hurt his leg.” That was just the first part, though. “And I went to help him—cut my robes to make a bandage—but then my hand touched his skin, and…” Why, she thought, did her life have to be so weird? “My hand touched his skin, and then the blood and everything—it was like he wasn't ever hurt at all,” she recounted to Odette. “But I wasn't using my wand, and I would have known if it had been wandless magic…” That was the thing, though; it hadn't been like anything else that Max had ever seen or experienced, but it had happened. “But it wasn't, and I don't know why I can do it or how it works. It just…” She sighed and looked back at Odette, at a loss for any better description.

@odette

[Deleted]

Odette had expected Max to take the news much harder than she had, but when she didn't, Odette felt a huge weight lifted off of her shoulders. She was glad that Max didn't push for more answers or sympathize with her because that would only make her cry more, and Odette really didn't want to do that anymore. What she hadn't expected was for Maxima to reveal something of her own.

The former Ravenclaw watched her younger sister intently as she explained, her brow furrowed. Odette had never really heard of such a thing... being able to heal at the touch of a hand? And she knew Max was too young to have mastered wandless magic in such a way. The news left Odette, for lack of a better word, speechless. It was quite a long moment after Max was finished speaking that Odette found the words she wanted to speak. "H-how... have you told anyone else?" Was all she could say.

maxima ruqayyah greyback

[maxima ruqayyah greyback]

“H-how... have you told anyone else?”

“No, not really… I…” Max shook her head, and her speech came out in a rush. “I've meant to tell Jamie and Georgie, but there hasn't been a good time, and…” She didn't even understand what it was that she could do, so she didn't want to claim that she could do anything until she knew for certain. Besides, she didn't even know if it had just been a one-time thing, and what if that was all it was? What if she tried to heal someone—thinking that she could—and nothing happened? “And I don't know what it is,” she emphasized. “I've tried to find out, but…” There was nothing; all roads led back to the same conclusion, that she was the only person who was capable of doing what she had in the way that she had done it.

“I know I haven't made this up,” she promised Odette, “but until someone's possibly willing to… bleed to death or something…” Max wasn't sure whether to cringe at the thought or to raise her shoulders in a helpless shrug. Who was to say that she could do it again? And, if she could, would she ever know where it stopped?

@odette

[Deleted]

First and foremost, Odette was shocked. She had never before heard of such an ability in a person, much less someone Max's age. Odette couldn't decide if she was happy or not that she was the first one to know. She was surprised, though, that Max hadn't even told her best friend yet. It saddened the former Ravenclaw to think that Max felt as if she couldn't tell anyone, that she would be made out as some type of freak, maybe. Odette knew that wouldn't likely happen, considering the type of world they lived in, and Odette dared anyone to try and tell Max she was a freak for it. They'd have some pretty angry Greybacks to answer to.

"I believe you, Max," Odette finally spoke after a minute or two of stunned silence. "Abilities... similar to this, they aren't unheard of..." she trailed off, thinking of the studying she had done her seventh years about some witches and wizards developing abilities beyond just wizardry and magic "Yours is just... far different than any ability I have ever heard of." She paused again for another moment. "Have you... thought about talking to anyone else? Maybe Madame Blacksmith? Or your guidance counselor?" She asked with a raised brow. "I'm not exactly the best at advice," she said a little sheepishly. "And, th-they're far more qualified to give you a professional opinion."

maxima ruqayyah greyback

[maxima ruqayyah greyback]

“I believe you, Max.”

Max exhaled. Odette believed her when she said that she wasn't making it up. She believed that what she was saying was real, even though she hadn't seen it for herself. She believed her.

“Abilities… similar to this, they aren't unheard of.”

“Similar” was the word that Odette used. How similar was “similar”, though? Max wanted to know, but she waited for Odette to elaborate for herself. If Odette knew someone who could do something similar to what she could, then she could try to talk to them.

“Yours is just… far different than any ability I have ever heard of.”

Max's face fell. She was back to square one, since Odette hadn't heard of anything like it, either.

“Have you… thought about talking to anyone else?” Odette asked. “Maybe Madam Blacksmith? Or your guidance counselor? I'm not exactly the best at advice,” she added. “And, th-they're far more qualified to give you a professional opinion.”

“No, Odette,” Max admitted; she hadn't talked to anyone about it, though she knew that she probably needed to talk to someone. “When I was told to come here—to the matron's office—I thought that maybe someone was going to tell me… I thought that Madam Blacksmith was going to give me answers…”

If someone could tell her something definitively, she could focus on learning about what it meant. Maybe she wouldn't know how it had happened, but she would know how it worked.

“But it's only happened once,” she considered. “It's only happened once, and… what if I hurt someone by trying to help them?” What if she hurt more than she actually helped? She couldn't play around with it to know.

@odette

[Deleted]

Odette looked at her sister with a furrowed brow, worry clearly etched upon her face. It pained her to see Max look so helpless. The Ravenclaw alum imagined it was likely very frightening for someone Max's age to discover they had such powers, and Odette wanted so badly to have the answers to help Max. "Maybe..." Odette started slowly. "This summer... you and I should visit St. Mungo's. Have them run some tests?" She suggested quietly, not sure of how sensitive the idea may be. "We could have your mum come along too, if you want," she added. Odette wanted answers too, and she wanted to help Max as much as she could.

maxima ruqayyah greyback

[maxima ruqayyah greyback]

“Maybe…” Odette began, and Max watched her carefully to try to determine what she was going to say before she said it. “Maybe” was a loaded word, she began to realize; it could be indicative of a lot of things—some of them good and some of them bad. Max just didn't realize how bad until Odette continued. “This summer… you and I should visit St. Mungo's.” Odette got even quieter, which was worrying—if it hadn't been worrying enough already. “Have them run some tests?”

Tests? Max knew that her eyes must have widened to the size of dinner plates. “I-I…” she started shakily, waiting for Odette to finish her thought. She knew Madam Blacksmith well enough, between her time in the Hospital Wing in the fall and the matron's supervisory role over the Knitting Club, of which she was a member.

“We could have your mum come along too, if you want.”

“I don't know.” She didn't want them to find something seriously wrong with her, and she knew that her mother would worry too much. Max knew that Odette's suggestion wasn't a bad one, but the thought of going to St. Mungo's was… intimidating. “…Can I think about it?” she asked hopefully. Making a decision in just a few seconds was too much pressure.

@odette