We are infinite (Albus)

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River was hanging out down by the Magical Creatures hut. He liked spending time with creatures because he didn't have to pretend around them. They were smart and kind and it was much better to just be honest. Honesty was hard these days. He expected so much of himself and convinced himself it was what his father and Vi would want, so he changed. He lied every day. Even his best friend Liv hadn't been talking to him much, because he was acting like somebody she didn't need to be around. Someone harsh and focused on himself.

Someone River was not.

He sat near the holding area where the current assignment creatures were staying. Two full blood kneazles, just hanging out and snacking. Whenever they looked up at him he felt like they were staring into his soul. It was actually kind of nice. They seemed to know what he was going through.

Albus Severus Potter

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Albus had taken to walking around the grounds whenever he got a spare moment, to try to clear his head without relying so much on his journal and having to write everything down in order to process it. He hadn’t intended to go by the Care of Magical Creatures hut, but had changed his mind at the last moment. Sometimes all someone really needed to feel better was the undivided attention of an animal who didn’t have a clue as to what their problems were, but wanted to help anyways. When Al approached, he saw that he hadn’t been the only one that thought to visit the hut. River Flint was there, looking rather pensive. “A Knut for your thoughts, Riv?” Albus asked lightly, sitting himself down on the grass next to River but not looking at the other boy yet. Sometimes it was easier to talk without someone staring you down, Albus thought.

@river

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River heard someone coming but didn't look over. A part of him was hoping that they would just walk past. But when he heard the voice, he didn't mind. He still kept his eyes on the creatures though."Just thinking," he started, "about how creatures are so much better than we are. For the most part they love unconditionally, something that is near impossible for any humanoid to do." He sighed, gently lifting a hand toward the crate, "and you can tell them secrets and they won't betray you." There was no point pretending with Albus. Not now, especially, when they were outside and River was trying to be in a place of honesty. Albus was a smart guy, he probably had already seen through Rivers act lately.

Albus Severus Potter

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Albus made a soft noise in the back of his throat when River said that creatures were much better than humans. Unconditional love was certainly something that people had trouble with, Albus mused as he began to tangle his fingers in a few blades of grass. He wished he had something to counter that with, but really, the only story of sacrifice he knew was how his grandparents had died to save his father, and after all his times trying to distance himself from being Harry Potter’s son, Albus wasn’t going to bring that event up willingly. “Humans grow.” Albus pointed out. Animals were all well and good, but they remained more or less the same from the moment they were born to the moment they died. People were complicated and most of the time bad, but they were always willing to make themselves better. “Even if that growth isn’t always what they’d choose for themselves.” He added, not bothering to hide the implication that River had grown in a way that wasn’t River. Albus might have been a Slytherin, but his friend wasn’t, and dancing around his point wouldn’t help either of them.

@river

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Albus said that humans grew, and River just shook his head softly. He knew the guy was right but... he was having trouble finding any faith in that notion at this moment. He felt like he had changed, sure, but grown? No. Not much of that going on. At least not from an inward perspective. He was a better dueler, sure, and more disciplined in a lot of ways... but was he better or worse? He was a part of the group that was hurting so many, and he didn't want to hurt anyone. But... he knew what it was for. While Albus tried not to focus on being his fathers son, River was killing himself to prove he was his fathers son.

Albus added that the growth isn't always what the people would choose for themselves, and River looked over at him. "What do you mean by that, Al?" he asked softly. He knew, of course. He knew that Albus knew that it wasn't always easy to make your own choices of how people saw you and your future... Albus knew that better than most.

Albus Severus Potter

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River shook his head, and Albus sighed. He hadn’t expected the other boy to agree with him, not with the way that River was acting lately. The Ravenclaw played dumb, asking what he meant by his statement about growing in different ways, and Albus sighed. River was trying to be a Slytherin, that much was for sure, but Albus couldn’t figure out why. What benefit did he get from becoming cold and callous? He had people who cared for him, and he was pushing them away. Albus wet his lips, and continued to tear at the grass by his legs, avoiding River’s gaze. “You have always turned your face to the sun, River.” Albus said quietly. He knew enough about what had happened to the Flint children – the pain that their parents had caused them – to know that the fact that River had been the way he was had been nothing short of a miracle. “Now all you see is shadows.” Albus shrugged his shoulders, keeping his face turned down. “Don’t you think that eventually, that’s going to catch up to you?” He asked. For Albus, that had been what had happened – he had spent so much time looking for the bad in things, for all the reasons people saw him as nothing more than his father’s son, and it had consumed him. It still was consuming him, but unlike River, Albus was recognizing that he needed to change his worldview before the darkness swallowed him whole.

@river

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As Albus started to speak River looked away again, back at the crate. Al's voice was soft. So soft, in fact, that River wanted to lean into it and vanish within. He took in a shaky breath as Albus brought up his question. That eventually this was all going to catch up to River. River turned back to him again, part of him really hoping Al would look up, and the other part of him really hoping he never had to meet that gaze. "I do," he admitted. He knew that it would all catch up to him. He wasn't stupid. "But maybe... the reasons are worth it," Vi. Maybe that was worth it. Though, not so deep down, he knew it really wasn't. He was sure they wouldn't actually go through with the wedding. But she hadn't broken it off yet, so maybe some part of her thought that it would be the best thing for her. If he could give her something he wanted... well, wasn't that worth all the trouble?

It wasn't like he loved her or anything, so why did he care so much about making her happy? Why did he care about any of it? He didn't know, really, but he just knew that he wasn't ready to give up... whatever he was doing.

Albus Severus Potter

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River admitted that he did think that his self-destruction would catch up to him, and Albus whipped his head around to look at the other boy, green eyes boring into blue. It was one thing to do that sort of thing without knowing of the consequences, but River knew, and he was still heading down that path. Albus wished that he could turn River around again, guide him back to where he had been before, and let the other boy live as himself. “Do you really think that your father would want this for you, River?” Maybe Marcus Flint hadn’t been a good person, but he and River seemed to have created some sort of positive relationship, hence why the Ravenclaw had taken his father’s death so hard. Maybe it was a low blow, bringing someone’s deceased parent into the conversation as a guilt trip, but Albus was desperate. He didn’t want to watch River destroy himself the same way Albus had. Putting broken pieces back together was so much more difficult than just remaining whole in the first place.

@river

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River caught his breath as Al's grin eyes caught his and held him there. He wasn't sure he could look away if he wanted to. Then, of course, Albus brought up the question River had been asking himself for months. Is this what Marcus Flint would want? "I... don't know," he answered, truthfully. Marcus had wanted him to be strong, and River kept that up. Training harder than ever. But did his father want him to be hard? He didn't think so, deep down. "But Viovinnia..." he said softly. His brow furrowed. He was doing this for Vi now, and he was already rolling down the hill, how could he just stop. "I have to see how it goes with her," he said, for firm. That was the one thing he was sure of. That he had to hold onto that last part of his old laugh. He had grown up with two parents and three siblings and being betrothed to Vi. Now he had no parents, half sisters, and one brother and Vi. He couldn't let Vi go. He couldn't let her go without giving it a fair shot. "She wants to be with me," he said, knowing full well that this was probably a lie. "She hasn't left me yet. How can I leave her?"

Albus Severus Potter

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River said that he didn’t know if the betrothal was what his father would have wanted, and Albus’s shoulders slouched somewhat. He wished that there was a way to talk to the dead, so that they could get this all straightened out. Albus wondered briefly if River’s father could be a ghost somewhere, but quickly shoved the idea away. If he suggested it, and it turned out not to be true, then he would just bring his friend more pain. “Viovinnia doesn’t care about anyone but herself.” Albus snapped, not able to stop his temper before it came crackling out of him like a fiery whip of words. The Slytherin girl was notorious for being a member of Hogwarts’s clique of mean girls who terrorized Dusti. Albus had no doubt that Vi would gladly sacrifice River if it meant her getting ahead. She was Slytherin in all the worst ways, and Albus’s contempt for her was obvious. His implication – that she would never want to be with him – was obvious. But the question was troubling. For all of the problems he and his father had had, Albus had always grown up knowing that he could love whoever he chose. The idea of being betrothed to someone was foreign to him. “She’ll leave as soon as she finds someone better.” Albus promised, voice switching from blazing hot to dangerously cold. He only wanted the reality to settle over River – that Vi wasn’t good for him – and the lack of realization was deeply troubling to the Potter boy. He didn’t know what else to do.

@river

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Albus's words from hot to cold sent a shiver down Rivers spine both times. He his brow furrowed even more and he shook his head. "You're wrong," he whispered softly. Then, his voice raised a little louder, just so he could be heard better, and somehow his hand reached out to touch Als. "I have to believe that I still have one thing left, Al. One thing." He was surprised at how steady his voice sounded. He was sure that could be an insult to everything else he had left, but for some reason he was just so attached to this that he was afraid if he let up a little that everything else would just fall away. So, he was holding on for dear life, even if he knew it wasn't really a life he was holding on to.

Albus Severus Potter

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River insisted that Albus was wrong, and the Slytherin just shook his head. They both knew he was right – it was just the Ravenclaw wasn’t ready to admit it yet. “You have more than one thing, River.” Albus said, voice as firm as he could make himself be. “There are people who love you for you, and not just the idea of who you could one day become.” He swallowed, trying to hide how uncomfortable he was with being so candid about his emotions. He told himself that it was better if he practiced telling people how he felt, instead of expecting them to puzzle it out. “There are people who love you for your weakness, not your strength.” Another swallow, another steely breath. “There are people who love you because you are flawed, because they know that you will grow.” Albus was rather proud of himself for how he was able to bring their conversation back around to their original subject. “And perhaps I can’t offer unconditional support, but I hope you know that if you need me… I’m here.” Maybe Dusti and her brother weren’t close, but Albus was determined to stand up for him, and to make him believe that the world was still good.

@river

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Of course Albus had a counter argument to that.A debate, even a friendly one, between these two boys could go in circles and last for days. River knew better than to try and stand up for his point on this one, especially since he knew Albus was right, but he wouldn't admit it. There were some people who did love him for him, or who he could become, including his father - he knew. Though, at the comment about his weaknesses over his strengths, River was taken off guard. People loved him because he could grow? But... wasn't that a reason Vi could love him, too? Even if she didn't?

Albus concluded his speech, it seemed, by offering support. Saying he was there. River nodded, "I know," he said softly. Somewhere, he did know that, even if he hadn't been entirely open to it in the past few months. "I hope that you can accept that I'm not ready to let go of this yet," he said, his voice confident again. They could disagree, sure, and Albus could be the smarter one, sure, but that didn't mean River was ready to move on. That also didn't mean he didn't want Albus nearby.

Albus Severus Potter

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Albus nodded when River said that he knew that the other boy was there for him. As long as the Ravenclaw knew, the Slytherin wasn’t going to push it – they didn’t need to get into all the emotional stuff. River said that he hoped Albus could accept that River wasn’t willing to let go of his thing yet, and the Slytherin nodded. “I don’t need you to let go of it now.” Albus promised. It was unfair to expect his friend to change his entire world view just because of one conversation. “But I hope that you’ll be able to let go of it someday.” Living for somebody else was exhausting, which was exactly why Albus hated his name – he felt like he was just supposed to live the way the old Albus had, with wisdom and kindness and whatever else Dumbledore had held dear. There was no room to grow when you were living for somebody else, Albus thought. “I guess I should leave you to your kneazles.” And his foul mood, if that was what River insisted on doing. Albus stood up, but didn’t leave just yet, in case River had any parting words.

@river

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Albus said he didn't need him to let go of it now, which made River breathe a sigh of relief, his shoulders slouching forward. Albus added that he hoped River would let go of it someday, and River just gave a nod. Albus stood, though saying he would leave River... but he didn't go yet. River looked up at him, his brows furrowing with concern. "Do you have to go just yet? I mean, we could just sit for a minute..." he suggested. He honestly had no idea whether or not Albus would accept the offer. He was sure Al didn't want to be around him like this but... he still dared to hope that his friend could make some exception. He also wondered how they even became friends, given their families history... maybe that in itself was proof that things could change for the better.

Albus Severus Potter
(you could fade to just sitting together in silence or just leave XD)