I. Don't. Mind. (Edmund)

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Deep breaths. Don't panic. Count to three. No, seven. No, ten. No, Edmund. She heard a vague rustling beside her and knew it was him. Or rather, hoped it was. She took in a shaky breath and looked up. A giant wave of relief made its way through her entire body. It was him. Nothing bad that had just happened mattered right now. Her best friend was there, she could breath... Right?

"I don't know how I got here," she admitted with a shrug, taking in her surroundings. She was sitting on the ground just at the edge of the forest this afternoon. The crisp spring air made room for a wsrm breeze, but she didn't feel warm. "My hands are shaking," she noted flatly, almost with an annoyed tone as she looked down at them. Then, she looked back up at Edmund. Maybe he would have some kind of insight. He always did, in his own way. From the outside it seemed the two weren't alike but they knew each other souls, that's what counted with friends.



@edmund

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Edmund found himself wandering the castle grounds as he searched for his best friend. Normally finding Addi wasn't too hard for him, but lately she seemed to disappear sometimes. He wasn't quite sure why or even if it was on purpose, but there were times when he found it quite annoying. A part of him wanted to confront her about it ... he wouldn't though. Not now, anyway. Maybe if it kept on getting worse he'd say something. 

Man, this was getting irritating! Where could she be? He already searched the castle- all her normal places- and most of the grounds. Now he found himself wandering around the edge of the forbidden forest when he saw a shape on the ground. The moment he saw it, he knew it was her. He moved closer quickly, his brow tinged with concern. What was she doing here? Her words as he approached weren't comforting. As he drew nearer, Edmund offered his hands to help her up. "What do you mean, you don't know how you got here?" He asked. Then he shook his head a little. "I mean, well ... I don't know what I mean. What's going on, Addi?" He was worried, didn't know what to say. What was going on with his best friend?!

@addilyn

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He held his hand out and she let out a breath of relief before taking it and letting him help her up. She released his hand once standing in order to use her hands to brush off her clothes. "No, no, it's a good question," she sighed, looking down at herself before looking up to find his eyes again. "I just mean I don't remember getting from point A to point B. Point A being the Great Hall and Point B being..." she gestured to where she had just been sitting.

She furrowed her brow and looked around, then back toward the castle. Had anything weird happened? Something weird always happened when she blacked out... "What's going on is... I don't feel well," she decided that was a decent explanation, right?

@edmund

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Edmund was glad and felt somewhat relieved when Addi took his hand and stood. At least she didn't think his question was idiotic, though Edmund still wasn't sure he made any sense at all. His eyebrows furrowed when she admitted that she didn't remember how she got here. "You don't remember anything at all?" He paused a moment. "Is this the first time this has happened, Addi?" She didn't seem altogether surprised, though it was obvious she was confused and not pleased with the situation, which Ed didn't like at all. 

"You don't feel well? Do you need to go to the hospital wing?" He asked nervously. He didn't want Addi to be sick, but if she couldn't remember what she was doing, maybe that was a reason to be concerned. Edmund wanted to help, but he didn't really know if there was anything he could do.

@addilyn

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She nodded as he questioned that she didn't remember anything at all, and then he asked if it was the first time it had happened and she paused before slowly shaking her head, not saying anything else yet. He asked if she needed to go to the hospital wing and she shook her head a little faster. "Edmund I don't feel well as in I'm not well. There's something wrong with me," her voice softened, almost to a secretive whisper. She leaned toward him, "I keep... forgetting moments of my life. Not knowing how I got somewhere. Remember last week when you asked me where I had been and I was really vague in my answer? Like "oh just around", well I had no idea where I had been," she emphasized again.

@edmund

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She shook her head and Edmund felt nerves coming on. She wasn't alright. He listened carefully as she started to explain that she was missing things. His eyes widened. "How long has this been going on? Why haven't you told me?" he knew his tone might be construed as harsh but in all reality Edmund was nervous for his best friend. Something was wrong with her. She didn't know what it was, but she'd kept it a secret. What was the point of having a best friend if you kept things from them. "What do you want me to do Addi? Is there anything I can do to help?" Ed really had no idea, but if there was, he wanted to be there for her, wanted to do something for his best friend.

@addilyn

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He asked how long it had been going on, why she hadn't told him, what she wanted him to do, if there was anything he could do. So many questions at once that it was making her want to explode. "I don't know!" she answered, her tone high pitched and stressed. She shook her head, "since Christmas break.A long time," she admitted, shaking her head. She reached her hand out to take one of his and leaned forward, her face close to his, "I think something happened to me over the break I... don't remember some of it. I don't remember much of anything about it after the ball," she smiled nervously, "but I don't think there's anything we can do... right now... maybe just... keep an eye on me?" wow, that was a great idea Addi! Go team! Number one! So smart!

@edmund

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She sounded stressed when she answered and Ed flinched, realizing that he probably asked too many questions too soon. "Sorry," he muttered, feeling guilty. He didn't want to make this harder on her than it already was, he was just concerned for her. Addi was his best friend and he didn't want anything to happen to her. His eyes widened when she said it started during Christmas break and his stomach started rolling. This happened for months and he didn't notice? What kind of a friend was he? He nodded, not really knowing what to say to her. Then she suggested he could keep an eye on her. Edmund started to nod. "I can do that," he said, a part of him feeling helpless. He just wanted to help her, however he could 

@addilyn

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When Edmund said he could do that, Addilyn sighed with relief and nodded. "And don't blame yourself, Ed. I've been hiding it well. But it's getting worse," she admitted. "I dread the summer when my family will ask about it... I was thinking of staying with Claire," she admitted. She dreaded her parents worrying about her but most of all she dreaded Grey. He was smart and if they spent time together outside of school and distractions... He could get it out of her that she hasn't been doing well. She didn't want him to make everyone else worry. Claire worked so much that maybe, just maybe Addi could get away with silence.


@edmund

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Edmund's eyebrows furrowed when Addi told him to not blame himself. How could he not blame himself for not noticing that something was wrong with his best friend? The two of them spend most of their time together for the last six years and yet he didn't notice that she was struggling. Some friend he was, but he wasn't going to let her see his annoyance at himself. He nodded at her idea. "Staying with Claire might help. And anytime you want to, feel free to spend time with me. How ... how frequently does it happen?" he asked. Maybe that would help him know how often he needed to pay closer attention to her. Or something. Edmund had no idea what he was doing.

@addilyn

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He nodded, saying that staying with Claire might help. he added that he could spend time with her anytime, too. She smiled, then he asked how frequently it happened. "More frequently now... I feel like it's just been getting worst and worse... and Grey..." she shook her head, "Grey doesn't know anything. I know you wouldn't but please, please don't even tell him you're concerned about me. Please?" she was begging him? That was kind of strange considering Ed would do almost anything she asked without her even having to convince him. But she had a sick paranoia feeling about Grey learning about any of this. He'd overreact or worse... Addi just didn't want to deal with that right now.

@edmund

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At her smile, Ed felt a small bit of relief. At least she wasn't so worried about things that she couldn't smile at him. If that happened, he didn't know what he'd do, but it would probably get a little bit extreme. He didn't want her to be struggling with things. He nodded when she answered that it was getting worse and happening more frequently. "I'll try to keep an eye on you ... let you know if I notice anything weird." Not that it really made sense because how would he know if she was herself or not? He'd have to just tell her sometime when he knew she was herself. If he could tell. Oh, this might get confusing. He nodded slowly when she mentioned Grey. "I won't tell him. I won't tell him anything unless you tell me to." He wasn't sure if that was the best promise to make, but he needed Addilyn to trust him, to keep him in the loop with what was going on with her. If she didn't want Grey to know so he could help, Ed was going to do all he could to help her. He was taking that job on himself now.

@addilyn

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He said he'd let her know if he noticed anything weird, which was all she asked. He also promised he wouldn't tell Grey anything unless she told him too and she nodded, squeezing his hand. "For now, let's just do something else," she said with a shaky nod. She rolled her shoulders back and turned toward the castle, blinking back into herself. That was the easiest way for her to get over this. To go back to being herself. "Maybe we should climb a nice tree or go get some hot choco?" she suggested, looking around as if the answer to what they should do would just pop out and make itself clear. Ed was good at that stuff, at least when it came to her. He was good at being there for her no matter what was going on in her life. That's what they had always done.

@edmund

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Edmund forced a smile when she squeezed his hand, suggesting they do something else. That was probably a good idea. Since she didn't know what was going on, there wasn't really much else they could say about what was going on now. So changing the subject was probably a pretty healthy decision to make. She suggested climbing a tree and he wrinkled his nose at her. "How about we skip rocks and then get hot chocolate?" he countered. He wasn't really a fan of climbing, but he liked skipping rocks a lot and they hadn't done that in a while ... but if she really wanted to do something else he would. After all, she was the one going through a hard time. He'd help her in whatever way he could, even if that meant doing something he didn't particularly enjoy, like climbing trees. 

@addilyn

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See? There it was, the perfect suggestion. She started guiding him by the hand toward the lake, "you always know which rocks skip best, so make sure to find me some good ones," she smiled back at him over her shoulder. It was easy for her to smile, that was a natural thing for the muscles on her face to be doing. She was used to being the bubbly, confident one. She was the one people often went to for advice, the one the younger kids looked up to. She didn't like being the one who was having trouble, that didn't make sense to her. She needed to be needed, that was just how Addilyn Slater had always done things. But now... now she wasn't sure she could even help herself.

But smiling. She could smile.

@edmund