Bravery from The Stars [Sephy] - tw: abuse

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Quinn had been building up her courage, wondering and worrying was surely not the greatest thing for her to do. She wasn't a Gryffindor though, and she certainly didn't have that Gryffindor Courage thing going on. Although she was seriously begining to wish that she did have that, it'd made everything so much easier - she had a few things she wanted to do - to say. But she chickened out - tonight though, she was pushing herself to do one of them, she trusted Sephy and she was her bestfriend and.. maybe one day there could be more there. But - that was another thing she wanted to do, later though. Tonight - it was about herself.

She had been a little jumpy through their Astronomy lesson. Her usual attention not where it usually was. She loved Astronomy and it was one of her favorite - and best classes. But tonight her mind wasn't on it, instead she was lost in her thoughts - occasionally watching Seph instead of paying attention. She was going to tell Seph about her home life - about what she had been living with, she was going to tell her everything she could, and hopefully - hopefully it wouldn't scare her away. That was her biggest worry - she could deal with a lot, as her life had clearly shown. But losing Seph? No.. that thought was one that terified her right to her very core of who she was.

The Ravenclaw was lost in her thoughts, almost not hearing when they were dismissed, it was only when she noticed the Hufflepuff gathering her things that she jolted back into attention. Quicker than she ever had before she gathered her own stuff and moved to leave the tower, speaking as she hurried, "Sephy - wait up."

She moves quickly, as the class clears out she follows her friend before reaching out, "I need to talk to you about something," Her hand gently grasped the Hufflepuff girls, ever so lightly tugging. But it was the look in her eyes, her usual bright green was still there - but - she was afraid, worried. Quinn was scared. She had to do this, no one had forced her to - or even asked her to do it. But Quinn knew, she had to tell Seph - there were only a very small amount of people she trusted so much, and Sephy was one of them - she wanted to tell. She trusted the other girl - probably if she was honest with herself, almost more than she trusted herself. She licked at her lips before meeting the other girls gaze, "Can we stay here for a bit? I.. I just need to talk to you about something.. its about me.. I don't want anyone else to know." Her eyes dart away, watching as the last few students made their way down the tower, "Its.. sort of a secret, about.. my home?" That word made her feel a little dirty, to Quinn - Hogwarts was her home, these other places were far from anything a 'home' could be.


@sephy

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Seph lived for astronomy class. It was a good night tonight too for them to hold class because there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the professor had a better time teaching them when they were able to successfully point out where each star was located and where one constellation started and the other one ended. Seph loved the stars and the sky and she loved coming to Astronomy class. Bonus: it was class she also shared with her best friend Quinn. There desks were a little far apart from one another; her fault entirely because she showed up a little late for the first class of the year and there had only been two desks left to choose from so she chose the one that was closest to Quinn. Close wasn't that close and she definitely didn't fault Quinn for being unable to save her a seat because it would have been rude to block the seats from someone else.

When she could, she tried to catch Quinn's eye during the class period. When the professor said something that she knew they both found interesting or when they saw a star that maybe they'd had trouble spotting together before, Sephy would turn to Quinn and smile and laugh or gasp in surprise and Quinn would always be on the same page as her. Today was a little bit different and she didn't know why. Quinn seemed a little bit.. hesitant? She wasn't sure if that was the right way to think about it. She seemed a little bit distracted. When Seph would try to catch her eye, Quinn would either be looking away from her or the two times that she did catch her eye, Quinn only looked worried. It'd made her a bit sad, actually. Had she done something wrong? Or maybe there was something wrong with Quinn? She wasn't sure but it had begun to worry her throughout the rest of the class time.

When the class period was over, Sephy decided that she didn't want to crowd her and knew that Quinn would come to her when she was ready. Sometimes people needed space. Not her, particularly, and especially not from Quinn, but maybe Quinn needed some space from her. She could do that. That was okay. When the professor dismissed them, she began to get her things together and just as she was going to throw her back over her shoulder as she was walking out, she heard Quinn call out to her. She looked up curiously, expecting Quinn to say goodbye but instead Quinn asked her to wait up. Sephy smiled and when Quinn got closer, grabbing on to her hand, she found herself smiling a bit bright. then she fully processed what Quinn said. She'd wanted to talk to her about something. "Sure Quinn, anything. What's up," she asked lightly as the Ravenclaw pulled her back into the classroom a little. A better look at Quinn and Seph could tell she was worried. No, she was really scared. Sephy got worried instantly. "Everything okay?" Quinn asked her if they could stay, saying that what she wanted to talk about was something she wanted to keep secret about her. Sephy nodded as she finished and waited for her to continue.

Tag; @mnm

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It was the first time since she had begun taking astronomy that she honestly couldn't remember a single thing about the lesson, not a single word the Professor had spoken throughout the lesson had even sunk into Quinn's head. It was completely unlike the Ravenclaw as Astronomy was quite possibly her favorite subject - other than anything to do with Art of course, but it was an extremely close second. Plus, any class that she shared with Seph was instantly one of her favorites - even if they weren't able to sit together in this class, it was still one they shared and happily would work on Homework together with. But tonight - tonight she just couldn't pay attention. Even when she knew she should - and even when she knew Seph would notice she wasn't paying attention.

Her mind was just swimming with thoughts and worries - waiting for the end of class to arrive. She was sure she had been caught staring at her friend at least once, her eyes constantly darting around as she waited for the Professor to dismiss everyone. While she loved the school and had many places within the walls, and outside the walls - that she loved. The Astronomy Tower was a place she felt the most at ease - being able to see the stars so well and being close to something she loved was comforting. If she was going to speak about what she needed to - it'd be here. She was almost certain that Seph would have noticed something... off about her behaviour in class. But she was also pretty sure that her friend wouldn't stop and ask her what was going on, unless she felt something was utterly wrong with her - she would wait until Quinn was ready. That brief thought actually tugged a tiny smile onto her face - Sephy was so sweet, patient and kind. She was one of the best things in Quinn's life.

It had taken her a moment to notice people were leaving, so much so that she had been sitting still in her seat when her eyes landed back on Seph - only to see the other girl gathering her things. The next thing she noticed was herself stopping her friend, her hand grasping the other blonde girls just a little tighter as she gently pulled her back into the classroom - relieved to see that even the Professor had already cleared out for the night - they were on their own for now. Her body was shaking slightly as she tried to gather her thoughts - "I.. I... No Sephy.... I'm not really 'okay'..." she spoke the words softly, leading her friend closer to the window - sitting herself down after a moment. "I.. do you... you know I don't talk about my.. my 'home' right? And.. I.. I don't have a family." Her hands were now grasping together, her nails digging into her palms slightly, her eyes focusing on her hands - staring at them instead of looking at Seph, trying to will more of what she had to say out into the open. 

"Foster homes suck Seph... " Her voice wavered slightly, her eyes burning as her vision blurred from building tears - she knew Seph would listen, would take in each word. "Some are... are.. horrible.. completely horrible and like a living n-nightmare." Her body was shaking slightly, her hands clutching a little tighter as she felt the tiny sting of her own nails digging into the flesh of her palm. "Y-Your letters.. before this year, the ones you sent over the break.. they were what kept me going until school started..." her lips quirk into a faint watery smile as she looks back at her friend - trying not to look her in the eye, she knew her words would probably click - making Seph realize there was something bad going on even without her actually saying everything just yet. She would keep going - she had promised herself to say as much as she could. To tell Seph as much as she could - as much as Seph would let her, as much as she would want to know.

@sephy

[Deleted]

Quinn pulled her closer to the big opening of the Astronomy Tower where they viewed the stars. Normally, passing by that window would have her staring up for hours on end until someone came to pull her away to where she needed to be. Not tonight though. Her attention was focused solely on Quinn. Because Quinn needed her now, she could tell. Quinn mentioned that she wasn't okay and Seph tried not to ask 1 million questions to see what she could do to make it better. She'd never wanted to see Quinn be hurt or cry because of something that hurt her so her immediate reaction was always to see what she could do to make her smile or make her laugh. She was a little afraid of what she might say, worried that whatever it was that she was going to say was something that she couldn't fix because it was related to her home, she'd said, but even so she wouldn't turn away from her. When she sat down, Sephy wasn't sure if she should sit down with her or continue standing because she was suddenly very anxious and she wanted to pace but she didn't want it to seem like she wasn't listening to what Quinn was saying. She felt the absence of her hand immediately but continued to listening intently. Quinn's voice began to stutter a bit but she nodded accordingly, acknowledging that she did know that Quinn never talked about her home and also that she'd known that she didn't have a family.

She was getting a little restless as Quinn continued. She noticed Quinn's eyes began to fill with tears and her own followed because she felt Quinn's pain. Foster homes suck. Some were like a nightmare. Seph began to connect the dots and a few tears from her eyes when she realized what Quinn was saying. She was living in a nightmare. Her own foster home was a nightmare for her. Seph noticed then that the Ravenclaw's hands were clenched tight and she could see her fingernails roughly digging into her palms. On instinct, Seph sat down and took hold of both of her hands in an attempt to ease up the pressure she was putting on them. "Please, don't hurt yourself Quinn," she interrupted briefly. She held on to her hands as she continued, saying that the letters that Seph had wrote had helped her, had kept her going and Seph couldn't hold back the tears she felt. She didn't want to let go of her best friends hands. She didn't want to let her friend go ever. Especially not back to that foster home. She didn't seem like she was finished but Quinn seemed hesitant to go on. Sephy nodded quickly. "Take your time. Tell me as much as you want. I'm here for you," she continued to nod and she spoke through the tears that wouldn't stop. Quinn was in trouble and she didn't know how she could help.

Tag; @mnm

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The familiar view outside helped, a very little amount. It was a familiar place - the Astronomy Tower always had given her some comfort, more so since the often times Seph and her would come up there just to gaze out up at the stars together. But tonight, the comfort it gave wasn't like it usually was - only the comforting warmth of Seph's presence beside her was doing that job, and even then it was a bit of a struggle still, knowing what she was going to have to do. It was hard, even if it was Seph - in some ways it made it harder - she knew there would be a high chance of her upsetting the other girl, and seeing her upset was something Quinn hated. But knowing it was something she said or did - that was a lot worse. But she had to do this, Quinn knew that - she had to do it. Slowly the words began to come out - starting with what was familiar, what Seph already knew. 

She remembered the first time she told Seph about her not having parents and about living in a foster home on the Summer breaks. Seph had been sad - she had seen it in her eyes even as she tried not to show it. The hug she had been given hadn't been like any other she had from her before. She had such a big heart, Quinn was sure the other girl had felt terrible finding out - Seph had such a loving family. She had parents and sisters, all who loved her so much - just as Seph deserved. But Quinn didn't have that, she never had that - when they had first become friends Quinn had felt a little jealous - but after awhile it was okay, she loved seeing Seph happy and interacting with her sisters was something that warmed Quinn's heart. She wasn't jealous at all. If she didn't have it - that was okay, because Seph had it instead.

"Take your time. Tell me as much as you want. I'm here for you," Seph's reassurance helped, even through the aching in her heart - knowing what she was going to say might change things - her heart warmed knowing Seph was here.

Her tears flowed free, no longer trying to stop them as she spoke - her words struggling but she kept going, if she stopped that would be it, and she had to get it out. But she couldn't look at Seph - she wanted to, but she knew if she did they would both turn into sobbing messes and seeing the other girl in pain - no. She couldn't do that, "I..There was one worse - before - before I came to Hogwarts, I was just a little girl - the woman was bonkers, strange things kept happening around me - it was my magic, accidental magic but I didn't know at the time.. I.. I didn't.. she thought I was a demon or.. p-possessed.. I was evil. I believed it too for a-awhile. Some thing had to have been wrong with m-me." Her voice broke as she felt Seph's hands, instantly clinging to them but being careful of her nails - she wouldn't risk hurting Seph. Her eyes darting towards the window - staring outside as she continued to speak, her tears trailing down her cheek, "T-The one they put me in last Summer - i-it wasn't as bad as that woman.. but it.. it was bad. I wasn't doing well - after last year.. E-Ethan dying, the Muggleborn murders. I was quiet... strange to them. They were muggles - they didn't know anything about last year, just I was there for the Summer - then I'd go back to my boarding School. A short time home they called it."

She took a few deep breaths, her words slowing as one of her hands lets go of Seph's just to rub at her face - pausing before pulling up her sleeve on the arm that her hand was still holding onto Seph with, her hands and her voice shook as she spoke, "They weren't kind... If I made a mistake - or.. or I said something. The father smoked ... a lot. They had a few foster kids before me apparently - but they had their own kid too and she was a nasty piece of work... I.. I can't imagine what their older foster kids had dealt with - they would have been there year 'round.. " Her eyes locked onto her arm, staring at her skin - her arm was covered in scars, many having healed long ago, they were faded - some barely even noticible in the dim lighting but they were old - clearly older than just the previous Summer - but it was further up, scars that looked like tiny burns - circular in shape, her mentioning the father was a smoker - it didn't take much to put it together. "I almost used magic... to make it all stop. They had locked away most of my school stuff though at the start of the Summer.. They let me have my letters though, when they came. I don't really know why, the mother wasn't too bad - I think she was more scared but.. that place was horrible." Her voice shook again - her hand tugging at the sleeves, eager to cover them as fast as she could as her body shook. 

@sephy

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Seph listened and watched Quinn quietly, blood rushing in her ears because her heart was moving so fast and the sound was so loud that she almost couldn't hear Quinn over it. Her eyes were overflowing and she couldn't stop the tears and there was an ache in her heart that just wouldn't let up. She wasn't aware that her hands may have been holding on to the Ravenclaw's just a little too tightly as she was taking everything in. Quinn had been abused by people in her foster home, people that were supposed to be watching over her and taking care of her like she was their own child. Even if it was for a little while it made no sense, how she was being treated. Seph's heart broke even more when Quinn spoke of the fact that, at some point when she was younger, she'd thought she was evil because of what some woman had done to her. Even before Quinn finished saying that, Seph was furiously shaking her head, the voice inside screaming that Quinn could never be evil. Quinn was happiness and caring and wonder and light. She was fresh air and starlight, warm hugs. She was everything that Sephy thought of as good. How could she ever think she was evil? Seph closed her eyes tight for just a moment because she still couldn't stop crying.

Seph couldn't speak. Her eyes were closed until she felt Quinn let go of one of her hands and in a panic, her eyes opened and widened because was afraid Quinn was letting go; that Quinn was leaving. She followed the line of the Ravenclaw's hand as she rubbed her eyes and then pulled up the sleeve of her opposite arm. What Seph saw then broke her. On her best friend's arms were an assortment of scars, all different shapes, some darker than others, some more prominent than others. Seph felt like she couldn't breath then. "Oh my gosh...," her eyes were still widened in shock and the words came out so low she almost couldn't hear herself say them. She began to sob uncontrollably, heartbroken for her best friend. Why would someone do that to her? Quinn was still saying... something... and Seph barely registered the explanation that she was giving for why the scars were there. She was numb and she couldn't tell who was shaking worse then, herself or Quinn. It was when Quinn went to tug her sleeves back down that Seph found her voice again. "No! Please let me see them! Please.. Let me...," she didn't know how to continue. She didn't know how to tell her best friend that she wanted to kiss the scars. She wanted to kiss the pain away. She wanted to make it so that Quinn would only remember good things when she saw them. She wanted to erase all of the Ravenclaw's bad memories of the scars. She wanted.... "Quinn...," her name came out on a sob and the only free hand she had she raised it up to cover her eyes as best she could. She couldn't stop crying.

Tag; @mnm

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Quinn honestly wasn't all that sure what she was saying - she had given it a lot of thought, the previous night and then all though the day she had thought on what she wanted to say, how she should say it - how much she should say. The results ending up originally to just do what she wanted and say everything - but - she knew how Seph might react. And her heart clenched knowing no matter how much she would say - it would likely end with the Hufflepuff in tears, something that Quinn absoloutely hated. Seph in any kind of pain, physical or emotional - was something she hated but - this would leave her as the cause of such pain. All of her planned things had been thrown out the Astronomy Tower window though as she had begun to speak - the only part of her plan that had been stuck to was the location and how it had started. Now she was speaking and the words just kept coming as her mind tried not to focus on what she was saying too much. The pain - physically had faded long ago, but while she had scars on her body - it was the ones in her head that caused more pain. The memories.

She took comfort though, focusing on the warmth of Seph beside her - of her hand still holding onto her own even as Quinn reveals the darkness in her life - of the things she hasn't spoken of, of how the people she had been supposed to trust - had hurt her. The people who had been put in charge of caring for her had broken that trust and - and had made her believe she was evil. That woman haunted her nightmares - often waking her up, silent screams - having long ago taught herself not to wake up screaming. The last thing she wanted was to wake her roomates up with her screaming. Her first few days at Hogwarts she hadn't slept well at all, once waking from a nightmare and scaring her room mates was enough. 

Showing her scars... showing the part of her that she hated so much, it was hard. But not looking at Seph was harder in that moment. She knew she shouldn't - she knew it was a bad idea to look at her, she knew by the sounds the other girl was making that she was crying - and Quinn knew that seeing it would break her even more. Already she had cried more than she had in a long time - but as she revealed her scars she heard the sobbing and her own eyes widened, of all the pain she could remember - hearing the sobs from her bestfriend was like a sledgehammer to her heart, "Seph.." her voice broke as she tried to tug her sleeve down - instantly freezing as Seph stopped her. Her own hand quickly releasing the sleeve and jolting back as if burned. She wanted to see them? That was a strange thing, but even through hearing her cry  - Quinn fought not to look at her face, partly not to see her crying - and partly... partly she was scared. What if the way Seph looked at her was different? Did... Did she feel differently? Did she see now how Quinn saw herself? Scarred... broken.

It was the sound of her name being spoken followed by the sobbing that pushed through her fears, slowly looking up - green eyes still flowing with tears landing on her bestfriends face, "Sephy.. No.." Quinn shook her head, pushing back her own tears as she pulls her sleeves back down before reaching out, gently grasping Sephs own and pulling them away - her own hands ever so carefully trying to wipe the tears from the other girls face, "No please don't cry.." even as she spoke she heard her own voice - she was still crying but Seph.. She had caused this, "Please don't cry.." her head dropped slightly as her hands twitched, as scared as she was of rejection she reached out, gently tugging Seph closer and pulling her into a hug, her own body still shaking as she leans closer, her head falling against her friends shoulder - face hiding in the other girls hair, her thoughts swimming in her head.

@sephy

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Even through all of her tears and crying, the only thing Seph could continuously think was how could she not have known? How was it that she had known Quinn for two full years now and not know anything about this? She wasn't supposed to have to tell her, she should have just known. She should have saved Quinn from this already. Instead, Quinn had gone back to this for two summers and had endured those peoples' abuse. Her not liking to be touched made more sense now. She'd never liked to be touched; she never minded Seph touching her but she didn't like to be touched by most other people. This was why. Gosh, why couldn't she see that before? Was she really that selfish?

Quinn had been avoiding looking at her and Seph didn't quite understand why. Was she mad at her for not knowing? That didn't seem right, it didn't seem like Quinn so she didn't think that was it. She was just mad at herself for that. When Quinn finally did look up at her, she saw the tears that were falling from her best friend's green eyes just before she covered her eyes with her hand and it was like her heart wouldn't correct itself. Her chest hurt and the tears continued to fall and she couldn't stop feeling so horrible. Like she had failed Quinn. Her eyes were closed tight behind her hand and she felt grateful for it because she was trying to calm down enough so she could actually talk to Quinn about this. She couldn't even get the words out. She couldn't talk like this, not feeling like this, not crying like this. The sound of her name coming from Quinn made her pull her hand away from her eyes just as she felt Quinn's hand grasp onto it and pull it away from her face She asked her to stop crying. She wanted to. She really really wanted to.

And then she was being pulled closer to Quinn. She felt her best friends arms envelope her and it was like a balm. She'd always loved hugs but this hugs was... everything. It was like her heart started again, the light feeling of Quinn resting on her shoulder and she immediately wrapped her arms around her, tight but not too tight. Holding on for dear life. And she cried and held her close. "I'm sorry Quinn...," she cried, "I'm so so sorry I didn't notice before. I should have known. I should have.... done something..." She wiped her eyes as best she could with one hand before she held on once again. She really didn't want to let go. If she let go, that would mean Quinn would have to go back, right? If she didn't Quinn could stay there forever. Quinn could stay there with her forever and she would have to come home with her so she wouldn't have to return to anywhere that wasn't safe for her again. Seph hiccuped, trying to calm down. Trying so hard to calm down. She needed to talk, she needed to calm down to talk because they needed to do something. "What can I do? Because you can't go back there right? They can't force you to go back there right?," she spoke out loud, still holding on to Quinn. "I don't want to let you go back there. I can't let you go back there. What kind of best friend would I be if I let you go back there, Quinn?" She sounded almost hysterical because she kept saying the same thing over and over again but she couldn't help it. She was worried. They couldn't let her go back there.

Tag; @mnm

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It didn't matter the reason, or who caused it. But seeing Sephy crying always broke Quinn's heart. This time though - she was crying because of Quinn and in many ways that felt a whole lot worse. She didn't know what was going on in the other girls head, she didn't know what she was thinking - but what she did know - was that Sephy was bound to be having some self blaming problems. Quinn knew her well enough to be sure of that, likely she was thinking that she should have done something to help. But there wasn't anything either of them could do - they were basically still kids in the eyes of all of the adults. She shook her head, rubbing at her own face again - she hated Seph crying, hurting the taller girl would always be something she hated the most in the whole world, and here she was causing her some kind of pain anyway.

She couldn't help not looking at Seph - she knew as soon as she did she would break down into a bigger blubbering mess than she already was. As soon as she did look up - there it was, a shaking sob escapes from her own lips. She could handle her own pain - but one look at her bestfriend and she instantly felt like she had just been hit harder - Sephy's own pain hitting her two- fold as she sobbed, trying to not make too much noise as she chokes the sobs back, her hands shaking as she gently brushes her fingers over Seph's cheeks - wiping her tears away the best that she could - Quinn was mumbling softly, "..I'm sorry.. please stop crying. Don't cry Seph...", she had no idea what she was saying. She just knew she wanted Seph to stop crying. She never meant to upset her so badly. But hugs usually worked - Seph's hugs always helped her feel better, it was one of the best parts about coming back after the holidays - after dealing with a horrible Summer, Seph's arms were there as soon as she got on the train.

Her head rested on Seph's shoulder, trying to still stop the sobs from escaping her - one of her hands moved, gently running through the other girls hair, trying to calm them both now with the gentle touch and comforting feeling as she felt Seph's arms wrap around her. Quinn's body was still shaking slightly, her face hiding against the warmth of her best friend. "No Sephy.." her voice was soft, whispered against the other girls shoulder, "You couldn't have known - there..there wasn't anything you could do..." The hand still around Seph's waist tightens gently as she speaks, her other hand was now gently playing with the other girls hair - comforting herself with the touch. 

Her head gently shook, she wanted to answer everything - but she could feel and hear how this was upsetting Seph - and once again she hated herself for that. "I-I won't.. I won't go back there Seph.." her voice shook - gently pulling back a little, her hands moving to Seph's face, gently cupping her cheeks - her thumbs brushing a few stray tears away, "You know Max right? I.. I had a break down the other day.. in one of the girls rooms - she helped me and.. we went to McGonagall." She sniffed softly, green eyes watching the other girls face for a moment as she spoke, "..I-I kept wishing you were there.. I-I was so scared.. I had tried telling someone before I came to Hogwarts.. no one listend." She was talking - but most of it was without realizing, "but this time.. I did it, I told and.. I broke down again and.. McGonagall's gonna help me.. I won't have  to go back .." Her voice was shaking as she spoke again. Her hands dropping from her friends cheeks as she instead leans against the taller girl, "You're the best friend I've ever had Sephy, never ever say you're not - okay?" Gently her hand rubs against Seph's back, "I'm sorry I upset you.."

@sephy

[Deleted]

Quinn was trying to comfort her and it was working, even if it was just a little bit. The gentle pressure of her hands framing Seph's face, wiping away her tears and coaxing her to stop crying even though she was crying too, was comforting. Seph wanted to do the same thing, she wanted comfort her and wipe her tears away. Wipe the pain away she'd felt all of those time those people hurt her. Protect her from every scar they'd given her, every burn. And then she felt Quinn start to play with her hair and her heart ached because she wished she would have known. She wished Quinn would have told her sooner so they could be past this already and everything wouldn't hurt so much and that Quinn could be away from those people. How many of those scars had she gotten after meeting her? How many could she have saved her from? The gentle sound of her voice, filled with tears, carried in the room over the sound of their crying, her saying that she couldn't have known. Seph knew that, logically she knew that. But she still shook her head, she felt like she should have. She didn't say anything though, just gave Quinn a light squeeze because she really did never want to let go of her.

She felt Quinn pulling away a little bit and she realized she had to let go for her to get up so she loosed her grip, listening as she said that she wouldn't have to go back. She went on explaining that Max Greyback had helped her and how they had gone to Headmistress McGonagall and she nodded quickly, wiping her eyes in an attempt to dry them on her own. "I should have been there," she sniffled a bit as another group of tears left her eyes and she wiped them again. She wished she could have been there to help her. "I would have been there for you, you know that right? I wanted to be there for you, even if I didn't know..." Sephy insisted with another nod. A sob left her mouth and she tried to place a hand over her mouth to stifle it when Quinn called her the best friend she'd ever had. "You're the best friend I've ever had too! I want to be a better best friend for you. You'll have to help me though. I want to be there for you whenever you need me Quinn. You can talk to me about anything and you mean so much to me." Her words all came out in a jumble but she was being honest and she kept nodding her head. Her tears were starting to subside, her hiccups a bit more frequent now but she hugged Quinn again, hugged her tight and hoped she knew that she really meant those words. "You have nothing to say sorry for. You didn't upset me, the people who did this to you upset me. I just want you safe and far far away from those people that hurt you."

Tag; @mnm

[Deleted]

She wasn't sure how to fix this - she just knew right now - Sephy was crying, she was upset - and Quinn wanted to help. To make her stop crying - to take this hurt and comfort her. Quinn had known this would be hard, it was hard on Quinn to talk about all of this - and it was hard for Seph to hear it. But ... honestly - it was better now that it was out there, Sephy was one of her best friends - quite possibly one of the few people in her life she trusted without question. It was hard to tell her these things but - despite now the feelings of pain and sadness - she felt good that the other girl knew now. It wasn't a secret anymore - not from Seph. Her hands gently brush across Seph's cheeks - swiping the tears away, she hated seeing the other girl so sad. 

Hugging Seph had always helped, when Quinn had first met the other girl - Hugs had been something very rare and almost a strange experience. Affection wasn't something she had gotten much - but Seph had almost cured that, opening up a very affectionate side of Quinn that she hadn't known she even had. Perhaps Quinn had a tiny obsession with playing with Seph's hair now as well - the soft strands against her hands were comforting for her, gently playing with her hair as she spoke softly. She hated that Seph was in any way blaming herself - there was no way she could have known before now really. And - there wasn't any way to have 'saved' her either. Sephy had a big heart though, and the fact that she clearly cared so much - it warmed Quinn's heart to know she cared this much about her. So talking about the meeting that had happened - about Max encouraging her to speak to McGonagall. It was easier - less painful for sure than the previous talks, although she knew eventually she would bring it up again - if Seph would be okay with it of course.

Her hands grasped Seph's own in her grasp - as she spoke, she gently played with the other girls fingers, "I wish you were there too - but.. I wanted to talk to you before - just you and me, like this." she nods, tilting her head to give a small smile, "I know you would be there if you could have Seph, no question about it." it was true - she knew that to be a thing she knew for certain. Of anyone around her - no questions asked if she needed someone with her - Seph would drop whatever to help and be there.

Quinn felt tears rolling down her cheeks again, this time - not so sad at least, instead her heart warmed at the other girls words, there was more she wished to talk about - her mind going to some certain feelings before biting her lip - she wouldn't talk about that, not right this moment at least. Instead she found herself moving gently to wrap her arms around Seph once more, hugging her back just as tight, "McGonagall's not letting me go back there - she is.. " she paused, gently shaking her head against Seph's shoulder, "She's gonna make sure I'm safe Seph - I mean.. I have to be safe now right? The Headmistress herself is gonna make sure of it." her hand without realizing it had found its way to the other girls hair, gently running through Seph's hair as she spoke, "I'm still sorry I made you cry.. I.. I hate seeing you cry Seph.."

@sephy

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Quinn's words worked their magic and calmed her down a bit more. The Ravenclaw said that she'd wanted her there too when she went and spoke with McGonagall but that she'd wanted to talk to her alone first. Seph nodded her head along as Quinn played with her fingers. It made her happy to hear that, that she'd wanted her to be there with her. She really wished she could have been because she wanted to be there to support Quinn. She could only imagine how scary that must have been for her, having to confront something like that and tell the Headmistress about it. Just thinking about it caused a few tears to fall an she quickly wiped them away on the sleeve of her robes. Knowing that Quinn had gone through with it, with the help of Max Greyback, she felt pride swell up in her. Even though she hadn't been there, she knew that it must have been hard for Quinn and knowing that she'd gotten through it... "You're amazing, you know? That must have taken a lot...." She would have to thank Max Greyback at some point too. For being for Quinn when she couldn't have been.

Seph watched as more tears fell from Quinn's eyes and, much like the Ravenclaw had done earlier, she reached her hands up to wipe the tears away, a watery smile gracing her features. And when Quinn hugged her back, she tightened her arms a little because that feeling of never wanting to let go swamped her again and she really did want to stay like that forever. "She'd be insane to let you go back there! Ever! She better make sure you're safe!" she exclaimed after Quinn spoke about the Headmistress's plan. And then she felt a little bit guilty because she really did respect the Headmistress. She knew McGonagall would do her best to make sure that Quinn was safe. McGonagall was powerful and she had connections and there wouldn't be any muggle who could stop her from taking Quinn away from that horrible place and making sure that she had a good home.

The feeling of Quinn playing with her hair once again made her relax and she sighed. "Don't worry, I'm better now. I just want to make sure you're okay." She pulled out of the hug and surveryed the Ravenclaw, red eyes and all Her eyes paused on her arm, thinking about the burns and scars that lay underneath the cloth. She tried to stop it but her eyes began to pool with tears once again. She didn't let them fall though. "I also don't want you to think that your scars make any difference to me. Unless you want them to, I mean." she began as her eyes went back to her friends face, "I think you're beautiful and I want to hug you all of the time and link arms with you and I don't want to stop doing that because you think I'm worried about your scars. Unless you want me to be worried about your scars..." she leaned her forehead up against the shoulder of the arm that held the scars, grabbing hold of Quinn's hand with both of hers. "You are still and will always be one of my favorite people, with your scars." Her chest felt heavy because she was scared of saying the wrong thing. She just wanted Quinn to know how she felt. That she would always be there if she wanted her to be.

Tag; @mnm

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Quinn could still feel it, the nerves - the anxieties she had felt back in the office. She hadn't even been able to speak at first, but thankfully Max had been able to do so for her. McGonagall was nice though, patient and kind - she hadn't pushed her to speak more than she could and she hadn't even asked for details - which Quinn had been terrified of having to go into. She had spoken a lot about what she had been through lately, but even then - it wasn't everything, she had her doubts that she'd ever fully reveal the things she had experienced, the things she remembered. The things that sometimes woke her from her dreams late at night, trying to keep quiet so she didn't wake up anyone. She took a deep breath, trying to keep herself calm again only to glance up with a small frown as she saw Seph again wiping tears from her face, her hand reached out, carefully wiping the other girls cheek with gentle hands, her face burning at the words, "I'm not really... not that amazing.. I was honestly terrified for most of it Seph. Part of me just wanted to run out of that office and go and hide.. But. I couldn't." she shook her head slowly, green eyes slowly darting back to her hands which had somehow found Seph's once more.

It was easier now, she felt... lighter. Even if there was still so much she hadn't said - she felt things would be okay now, or at least far better than they had been. She found a small smile growing again as she linked their hands, squeezing gently. "You can't say anything to anyone - but I know you'll keep it quiet." she paused and bit her lip, her eyes meeting Seph's as she spoke again, "McGonagall said I could stay with her.. for the break at least. I don't know what's going to happen but... she actually offered for me to stay...with her." It was still something Quinn was finding a little hard to believe that it had actually happened. But it had, Max had heard it as well. She felt if Seph heard it, maybe it would help her as well - at the same time, Quinn's heart clenched. Seph cared so much, and it warmed her heart to know that for some reason Seph cared so much about her.

"I promise, I'm gonna be okay - I mean.. I have you, how can I not be okay?" she gave another little smile, watching curiously and then with a fear as she saw the tears pooling again, instantly she reached out, wanting to sooth whatever it was that was causing those tears - had she said something wrong? She stopped though, listening when Seph began to speak - the words making her freeze and just quietly watch the other girls face as she spoke. She was... speechless. She couldn't find words - her heart was beating so fast and she could feel her own eyes building with tears again. Her hand clung to Seph, not wanting to let go as she tried to say something, anything that could express what those words had meant to her.

"S-Sephy.." her voice was shaking, her other hand moving, "You make me feel beautiful..." now her words came out tumbling quickly, "I don't see it, but you do and ...then you smile at me and I feel it." she could feel the tears, gently rolling down her cheeks, "You know they aren't the only ones I have... and I'm scared you might feel different if you knew everything. But at the same time.. I'm pretty sure it won't change anything even if I say something wrong or I say too much.. I couldn't bare to lose you though. You.. You mean so much to me.. Y-You're more than my bestfriend."

@sephy

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Sephy sat there, trying not to hold her breath, as Quinn began to talk. She was saying that she wasn't amazing. She was saying that she had been afraid the entire time she had been talking to McGonagall and Seph couldn't blame her for that. It had to have been scary, having to talk about all of that with someone else. It didn't seem possible, but what would have happened if McGonagall had said she couldn't do anything about it? What if McGonagall hadn't cared? She knew Quinn must have had those thoughts as she had been about to tell the Headmistress everything she had been through. It made her wish even more that she could have been there with her. Maybe, just maybe, she could have been able to give Quinn a little bit of her own strength to make it through the process. "But that's what makes you so amazing. You didn't run. You got through it and you were able to tell someone about it." she looked her directly in the eyes as she spoke, wanting her to know and see that she really meant those words. She thought Quinn had been really brave for that.

Quinn then told her that she couldn't tell anyone and Seph nodded profusely, getting the impression that what she was going to say was really important and couldn't be repeated. Seph didn't have a problem keeping secrets. And she knew this was important to Quinn so she would be really careful. Quinn divulged that McGonagall had told her she could stay with her over the summer. With the Headmistress. Seph's eyes grew visibly wide for just a moment. "Wow! Did you say yes?" she was really surprised but she was also really relieved by that. It meant that the Headmistress really was trying to do everything she could to help Quinn. "Wait, if no on is supposed to know, does that mean I can't write you over the summer if you stay with her?" Seph said, growing a bit sad at the thought. She couldn't be too saddened by it; at least Quinn would be safe for the summer. She would really miss her letters though and she really hoped the answer was no.

Once she had finished speaking, she lifted her head from Quinn's shoulder once she noticed the girl had begun to shake. Worried that she had said something wrong, she searched her best friend's eyes and became worried instantly when she noticed that she was going to cry again. She opened her mouth to speak again, to try to clear up any misunderstanding, to try and make her feel better if she needed to because she hadn't meant to make her cry. Quinn started speaking then, her name leaving the Ravenclaw's lips first before she confessed that Seph made her feel beautiful. Her words came out quickly but Seph felt every one of them, her heart beat heavy in her chest and she squeezed her hand in reassurance. "Even with all your scars, you won't lose me," her voice was gentle as she spoke and she wouldn't look away from her. "I'm here for you," she could hear the sound of her heart beating in her ears now and it was almost overwhelming. "I'll be whatever you want me to be."

Tag; @mnm

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Thinking back on the meeting, it had been - extremely overwhelming. By the time it had been over, Quinn had almost felt like she was in a daze - wondering if what had happened had actually happened, or if she had just made it up. But no - it had been real and she had managed to make it through without too much of a break down on Quinn's part. That in itself had been fairly amazing, but McGonagall herself had been even more amazing. Like other students, Muggleborns in particular - Quinn when she had been in her first year had done a lot of research to learn about this new world and this new school -  Minerva McGonagall had been one of the names she had eagerly learnt more about. But no matter how many stories or things she had read, nothing equaled up to what it was like back in that office. Being right there and having her say Quinn could stay with her - that was a whole different thing and Quinn, had been more than overwhelmed in that moment. 

But here Seph was telling her these things, that even if she had been afraid and overwhelmed - she was brave, she was amazing and Quinn's face quickly began to burn once more as a soft pink jumps back to her cheeks. It felt right to speak to Seph about all of this, to tell her what McGonagall had said and done, she nodded slowly, "Y-Yeah I did. I dunno what's gonna happen but.. no matter what I'll make sure I can still send you so many letters." she gently Squeezed Seph's hands, wanting her to know that no matter what they would still be in contact, she'd make sure of that. She'd be safe but without talking with Seph it'd feel strange and lonely. 

Seph's words were ringing in her head, her body was shaking ever so slightly - her heart clenching with so many feelings, her body was rather overwhelmed with just how much she was feeling. Had she ever felt like this? Anything even close to how she was feeling right now? No.. she honestly couldn't remember feeling even slightly like how she was right now. Seph made her feel so many things, and while they had scared her so much when she began to realize why and how it was happening, now - now she was afraid it was more than she thought. 

_{"Even with all your scars, you won't lose me,"} 

_{"I'm here for you,"
"I'll be whatever you want me to be."}  

There had been no one in her life before that said things like Seph did that actually made Quinn feel they were honestly and completely true.  But time and again, she could feel the honesty - the fact that Seph did mean what she said. Her heart ached at the words, she knew they were true - but hearing them now they felt like so much more, it meant so much more than Seph knew what she was saying. What Quinn wanted -  what she would want Seph to be... Seph had no idea. What would she think? If she knew just how much Quinn felt and thought about her? Could she see it?

"Sephy... I just.. I.." her words were gone again, Quinn's voice was shaking and she trailed off, whatever else she was going to say was lost as she looked up, teary green eyes meeting her friends carefully as she reached her hand out, fingers gently brushing over Seph's cheek once more. But there it was, her heart beating so fast - so loud, could Seph actually hear it? But there was that courage again, in just a blink it was back and she stopped thinking so much. Her hands gently reaching out and drawing Seph closer to her, her hands cupping her cheeks - there was a moment, a panic of she shoudn't - but she couldn't back away now.

Everything just dropped away, there weren't any fireworks or magical 'tingles' - there werent' any birds singing or any silly romantic fantasy. It was just the two of them, emotional and awkward as her nose bumped Seph's briefly before feeling her friends lips against her own, she felt a warmth spread through her body and everything drifted away for a moment... It was brief, it was warm and innocent but things fell into place for just that moment. But as quickly as it happened, it was gone as her mind seemed to take control once more.

What had she done? 

With a soft gasp Quinn pulls back, her face flushed as she darts back - almost falling from the bench as her eyes dart anywhere but back to Seph. Oh god... She had just kissed her. She had kissed her bestfriend. Oh god, had she just ruined their friendship? What if Seph hated her now? Her chest hurt at the thought - her eyes burning as she stood up, stumbling to her feet as she shook her head - already feeling her head begining to hurt as the panic began to set in. " I.. Just.. I just ... I gotta go.." the words tumble out as she stumbles towards the door. She had to get out of there.

@sephy