i won't let go of you, i swear [anna]

[Deleted]

Oscar felt like he was living in a nightmare. He had always thought that he was a bad luck charm. Everyone around him seemed to die. His mothers, his father, his best friend, and now... his classmates. Oscar was still holding out hope, praying to whoever would listen that they would find someone else who had survived. He knew that wasn't likely, though. It was likely that anyone who was thrown into the Channel was injured by the explosion, and unless they had found some sort of life raft like Ozzy had, they would have drowned by now. Ozzy would have, if he hadn't swam to the piece of the carriage that he had used as a life raft. He had passed out and hadn't come back to again until he was already in the hospital, being examined by the Healers and being fed Blood Replenishing Potions like there was no tomorrow. Oscar hadn't exactly been coherent, but he hoped that what he had said was enough for the Healers to have found Anna and told her that he was alright. No one else would really care whether or not he died, but Anna... he needed Anna. Oscar couldn't do much other than sit on his bed and wait, because he was swaddled from head to toe in bandages. The Healers thought that some of the shrapnel that hit him must have been cursed in some way, because the wounds were bleeding faster and not healing as quickly as they should have. Oscar didn't care much about what was causing his wounds, as long as he could eventually get better. He didn't care if he was broken or battered or scarred... as long as he was alive.

@annelise

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From the moment he left on the carriage, Anna couldn't stop thinking about Oscar. She'd waved until he was way far gone, but there was a feeling of loss inside her, an empty feeling. She knew that he was coming back, that she'd see him in London after graduation, but she already missed him. He hadn't even been gone for five minutes yet. This was going to be a long few weeks.

Then news came of the attacks. First, the attack on the Durmstrang Ship, then on the Carriage. It was probably a good thing Anna was in a group of people when she found out, because it forced her to keep a semblance of outward control, but on the inside ... she was chaos. Her pulse sounded loud as thunder in her ears and her thoughts were racing, flicking through memories of Oscar over the last year and all the things they'd done together. Mixed in with the memories were dark images of him bleeding out somewhere, dying cold and alone, or already dead. Her hands were shaking and her breathing was light. No. No, he couldn't be dead. He couldn't. She needed to leave school, to go out and find him, to save him. 

Someone reported that all the survivors were already found and taken to Mungos and her plans changed, though the names of the survivors were not given. She needed to go there first to find Oscar. If he wasn't there ... well then obviously someone didn't look hard enough. The only problem now would be finding a chance to get away, to escape the castle. She was well-known, being the Triwizard Champion, and her relationship with Oscar was public knowledge. Everyone seemed to want to come and tell her that they were sure he was fine, but she just wanted to be alone. One minute was all she needed to slip away, if she could find a minute!

An owl approached her and Anna swatted it away, figuring it was probably more people trying to send condolences, but through letters since they couldn't get to her physically. However, the owl was persistent and eventually she grabbed the letter from its leg, annoyed. Then she saw it was from St. Mungos. She bit her lip, terrified to open it now that she knew she could find out what was going on. People were still apologizing to her, trying to talk to her, but she waved them off. "Sorry, this is urgent. I need a minute." 

Once she was on her own, Anna opened the letter and finally felt the pressure in her chest release a little. Oscar was alive, at least for now. He was there, at Mungo's, being treated but still in a very bad state. He was injured, but kept asking for her and they thought it might be good for her to come. Anna didn't need to be told twice. She ran out the front entrance and down to Hogsmeade, apparating to Mungos as soon as she could. 

She gave the healers her name, told them who she was there for and was ushered to his room. On the way she was warned that if seeing or talking to her upset him, they would ask her to leave for his own good. She walked into his room, trying to be strong when she saw him all bandaged up on the bed. He didn't need to see her cry. He needed her to be strong. "Oscar," she whispered as she approached him. Her throat constricted and she couldn't force herself to say anything else, so she just moved so she was standing beside his bed, trying to get her emotions under control. She was here for him, she reminded herself, not for her.

@oscar

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Time was behaving strangely, and Oscar didn’t like it. He felt like he had just woken up from unconsciousness, but at the same time, he felt like he had been awake for hours. The attack on the carriage could have happened weeks ago or minutes ago – Oscar’s brain was still too addled to really focus on such petty things as time. The Healers came in to tell him that they had sent a letter to Anna, and Oscar’s heart lifted slightly. The thing about the strangeness of the way time was working, though, was that it felt like forever before she finally came through the door. A smile sprang to Oscar’s face, and he winced a little when he remembered that there was a cut that ran from his earlobe down his neck and to his collarbone. There were cuts everywhere, actually, but that was the one that caused him the most trouble as he smiled. “Hello, mamour.” Oscar said, attempting to smile again, but with less verve so it wouldn’t hurt so much. He just wanted to let Anna know that he was okay – or at least as okay as he could be given the circumstances. He was wading through a nightmare, but he wasn’t going to drag her into it with him. Oscar needed to do this on his own, because that was the only way he knew how to mourn. “I am glad you are here.” Oscar said, trying to stretch his hand so that he could reach her. His other hand was clenched in a fist, and Oscar wasn’t sure that he would be able to uncurl his fingers even if he wanted to. There was so much that Oscar wanted to say to Anna, but right now, he just needed to be close to her.

@annelise

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He smiled at her when she entered the room and Anna noticed the following wince, but didn't say anything. She smiled back, honestly happy to see him, but feeling so conflicted about the situation. He was in a hospital, obviously badly injured. "Hey," she said, her eyes stuck on his face. She noticed some cuts that weren't covered, but she wasn't focused on those. He was looking at her and smiling, which meant he would be all right, right? She kept on staring, trying to convince herself that he was fine. She was pulled out of her thoughts when he said he was glad she was here and reached for her hand. Anna took it, squeezing it slightly and hoping that wouldn't hurt him. Did he have a cut on his hand. "Thank you for asking for me. I doubt they would have let me in otherwise and I was ... worried." More like, she was going crazy with worry, but he didn't need her to say that. He probably already assumed as much. He knew how strong her feelings for him were. "Do you need anything?" she asked suddenly. "Is there anything I can do for you?" There probably wasn't, since he already had all the doctors caring for him, but she had to ask.

@oscar

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Anna was staring at him, and Oscar didn’t blame her. He probably looked pretty worse for the wear, if what he felt was anything to go by. The Healers hadn’t let him see himself, which was for the better, since he was vain as anything and seeing how messed up he was wouldn’t be good for his already deplete morale. Anna took his hand, and Oscar had to force himself not to grin at her, because that would hurt. Not grinning was difficult, because all Ozzy wanted to do was ensure that Anna knew that he was alright, and if he didn’t look alright, that was going to be hard. “How could I not?” Oscar asked when Anna thanked him for asking for her. He didn’t have anyone else to ask for anymore, since all of his relationships had been destroyed, even the possibility of budding friendship with his schoolmates. They were killed before they could grow, and Oscar wondered how much love had been destroyed that day. Anna asked if he needed anything, and if there was anything that he could do, and that time, Oscar couldn’t resist the urge to smile. His fisted hand uncurled as if by magic, and Oscar moved it so Anna could see the ring glittering in his palm. He had worried that it had been destroyed in the explosion, but Oscar’s trunk had been recovered from the Channel. His books, he couldn’t care less about, but the ring? It was one of Oscar’s only family heirlooms, and had belonged to his mother when she was alive. There was only thing that Oscar wanted Anna to do. “Marry me.”

@annelise

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Oscar didn’t cringe when Anna squeezed his hand and a flood of relief rushed through her. At least his hand wasn’t hurt. There was one small joy in the middle of this. He asked how could he not ask for her and Anna smiled. ”If you were unconscious, I guess,” she answered even though she didn’t really think he was looking for a response. Honestly though she was just so glad she could be with him right now. He was alive. That was the biggest miracle of all. At her question he started to smile, which made her feel more relaxed again. If he was feeling well enough to smile, that was a good sign right? Then he opened his other hand and she stared once he moved so she could see it. A ring. He was holding a ring in his hand and looking up at her and telling her to marry him. She knew it was more a request than anything and she grinned at him. ”Yes! A million times yes!” She squeezed the hand she was still holding. ”I love you,” she added in a whisper.

@oscar

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Oscar couldn’t help but smile when Anna said that he could not ask for her if he was unconscious. That was such a practical answer, far away from the tornado of emotions that continuing to whirl inside of him, and he appreciated the respite, however brief. He decided it probably wasn’t good to mention that he had been unconscious for quite a long while, and had only come back into consciousness quite recently. Oscar didn’t like the idea of lying, but he also didn’t want Anna to freak out… especially not when today was shaping up to be a very important day for a reason other than the explosion. Anna said yes – thank Merlin she said yes, because he wasn’t sure how he would survive her saying no – and Oscar really, really wished that he could smile more. Even if he could smile the same way he normally did, though, he didn’t think it would accurately reflect the way that he was feeling. Anna was worth of more smiles than he could ever smile and more love than he could ever give, but that was why he loved her in the first place. She accepted him and his flaws, and even though a wedding wouldn’t change how they felt about each other, it would change the way everyone else saw them, and that was important. Oscar didn’t want the world to see him as something transient in Anna’s life. He was here to stay, as long as she would let him. “I love you too.” He whispered back. “Are you going to put it on?” Ozzy asked, gesturing to the ring that he was still holding out.

@annelise

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He was still smiling, despite her strange response and Anna was glad. A part of her felt worried that she was so stressed over the events of the day that her stress would carry over into him and make things already harder. Anna felt positive that he was trying to be cheerful for her and not show her how hard this was, but that made sense. They both did that, in a way. She did the same thing when it came to how the Tasks in the tournament had affected her. She found comfort with Oscar about it, but she didn't tell him about all her nightmares about it. Those were dying down now though, so that was a relief. He remained smiling when she agreed to marry him and Anna couldn't help but wonder if that actually happened. However, the ring in his hand was evidence of the fact that it had. He whispered that he loved her back, then asking if she would was going to put the ring on. Anna jumped, realizing that she hadn't even thought about that. "Yes, I am," she told him, reaching forward and taking the ring, slipping it onto her finger feeling awed. It was beautiful and she liked the way it glittered on her finger. "How does it look?" she asked, wiggling her fingers as she held her hand up so he could see it. 

@oscar

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Oscar smiled at Anna when she took the ring from his hand, not quite believing that this was real. He had known for a long time that he wanted to marry Anna, but he hadn’t ever imagined it happening this way. He had hoped the circumstances to be slightly better, but if there was anything his life had taught him, it was that there was always going to be something wrong in the world – it was his own responsibility to make the light when the world seemed too dark to stand. Anna asked how the ring looked, but Oscar’s eyes didn’t linger on the ring for very long, drifting up instead to Anna’s face. He stared at her for a long time, probably too long, before finally remembering to answer the question. “It looks beautiful.” It was probably obvious at that point that he wasn’t talking about the ring at all, but Oscar didn’t mind – the ring was just a piece of jewelry, albeit an important one. He wasn’t marrying the ring. He was marrying Anna, though that had little to do with how beautiful she was on the outside and everything to do with her inner beauty. He didn’t think that anyone else could handle the Tournament, and him, with the poise, strength, and compassion that Anna had. She was truly the best person that he had ever had the pleasure of meeting, and it was a privilege in every way to get to love her, and have her love him in return. “I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” He whispered quietly, still in awe of Anna and everything that she was – and everything they would be together.

@annelise

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He didn't answer her question right away, but Anna didn't mind that. He probably had a lot of things going on in his head right now, with all he'd been through, so she wasn't going to push  him to answer her quickly. Just being here with him was good enough for her, but then he proposed and made it all better. He wasn't going to die and they were going to get married. A part of her could hardly believe what just happened. His attention wasn't on the ring long, instead turning to her face and Anna smiled at him, her smile widening when he told her it was beautiful. "Thank you," she breathed softly. However, her breath caught at his next words. "I can hardly believe you want to spend the rest of your life with me," she teased, smiling so he would know she was teasing. "I can't wait either," she admitted seconds later in a more serious tone. The idea of being with him wasn't a joke. She just wasn't good with serious atmospheres as a general rule.

@oscar

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Oscar wished that he could roll his eyes at Anna, but he didn’t want to stop looking at her, even for the fraction of the second that it would take to do that. It was strange – he hadn’t been nervous about proposing before he did it, but now it was like this tidal wave of emotion was washing over him. Everything that he had ever felt for Anna, and everything that he wanted to feel, was just there, and he didn’t know if he had ever felt that much before. He wanted to laugh, or cry, or do something, but instead he just looked at Anna, because as much as he was feeling, it was all for her, and looking away just felt wrong. “You have not been paying attention.” Oscar said, wishing that he could return her smile easily. He knew it was a bad idea – he had already stretched himself to his limit, but asking Anna to leave was unfathomable. “If you had asked me a year ago if I could spend the rest of my life with someone, I would have said no.” Oscar admitted. “I did not think that I could give someone my life, because I was so scared that it would end.” He continued, licking his lips. “But you are not an ending. You are a beginning.” Oscar had had so many chapters in his life, and leaving the pain and sorrow of loss in his past was something that he looked forward to doing, as long as he got to spend the future with Anna.

@annelise

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Oscar was staring at her, not that that was a bad thing. Actually, Anna liked the way he looked at her. It was a reminder of the way he felt for her, though the ring on her finger was also a reminder of that very same thing. She watched him in return, still feeling awed by the last few minutes. If she didn't have a ring on her finger as proof, she might have thought that she imagine the proposal, but she knew she didn't. He said she wasn't paying attention and she shook her head instantly, "I always pay attention to you." It was true, though he probably meant it in a different way, saying she wasn't understanding him in some way or another. Still, she did always pay attention to him. At first it was in an attempt to try and stay away from him after their meeting. Once they recovered from that, she simply could not help herself. She listened as he continued. Her mouth fell open a tiny bit at his words and she stared at him. "I- I don't know what to say to that," she admitted. He was so good with words and sometimes she couldn't think of any way to respond to what he said. This was one of those times. She would've just kissed him, but she was unsure whether or not that would hurt him and Anna didn't want to do that.

@oscar

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Oscar nodded when Anna said that she always paid attention to him. That was probably truer than he wanted to admit. It was easy for Oscar to know that he cared about someone immensely, but harder for him to believe that he was cared for just as immensely in return. That had been part of the reason he hadn’t asked Anna to marry him earlier – he had wanted to since before the Third Task, but kept finding ways to talk himself out of it, most of them involving wondering whether or not Anna was as ready to spend the rest of her life with him as he was to spend the rest of his life with her. That didn’t matter, though, because now he knew, for certain, that they were both ready to start this journey together. After his semi-speech about Anna being a new beginning, his girlfriend – no, his fiancée – said that she didn’t know what to say, and Oscar just reached up to cradle her face in his palm. “I do not need words to know how you feel about me.” He replied quietly. Oscar sometimes had strokes of genius when it came to explaining how he felt about Anna, but he didn’t need her to express her feelings in the same way to know that he was loved.

@annelise

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Anna sighed as Oscar reached up and touched her face. His touch was more relaxing to her than she could have imagined, even when they were in the middle of the hospital and he was injured, probably in a lot of pain. She smiled and nodded at his words. "That's a good thing," she teased, "because you are definitely better with words than I am." Which honestly wasn't something she minded. As long as he understood her feelings for him, she didn't worry about the rest. "I wish you weren't in here," she admitted softly, wishing his arms could be around her right now. "Do they know how long it will take for you to heal?" Oscar probably didn't want to talk about his injuries, but Anna wanted some sort of timeline, if he knew it. If not, she'd talk to the healers when she left. 

@oscar

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Oscar blinked at Anna when she said that he was better at words then she was. He didn’t think that was exactly the truth. “You know, when we say our wedding vows, you will have to be good with words.” He teased lightly. Oscar wondered if that would freak Anna out or not, to think about having to write down their wedding vows. Mostly, Oscar just liked saying the words ‘our wedding’. They were getting married, and having a wedding, and that was thrilling. Oscar hadn’t been this excited about something since the Triwizard Tournament, and even that excitement paled in comparison to the impending nuptials.

Anna changed the subject of the conversation to his hospitalization, and Oscar tried not to frown again. “I do not think either of us want me to be here.” He responded quietly. “They do not know how long it will be.” Oscar admitted. “But that will not be a problem. Pick a date, and you will have your groom.” Oscar would be out of the hospital as soon as Anna wanted him to be, even if that meant fighting a Healer or two along the way.

@annelise