i am the opposite of amnesia [addi]

[Deleted]

It was the day before the foreign students were due to leave, but if Al was honest, not a single thought about their departure was crossing his mind. He had received a letter form his mother saying that his father had left the house over two weeks ago, leaving only a letter behind, and hadn't returned since. The Ministry had declared him missing in action, and this was the first Albus was hearing of it. He knew it was a bit childish to want to throw a fit over it, but for all of his problems with Harry, he was still Al's dad. A part of him didn't want to believe that his father was in trouble. He was Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived, Savior of the Wizarding World - whenever he got into a bind, he would get out of it. He would show up someday, maybe with an extra scar or two, and declare that his mission was complete, and everything would be okay. Albus was trying to distract himself from that worry with a walk around the grounds. He had intended to go for a run, but it was a little too late in the day for Al to feel comfortable doing that - he always felt like people were staring at him when he ran, and he hated being the center of attention. A brisk walk was just as good for exercise but didn't make him as sweaty or breathless, so... it was just a good morning all around, if he could ignore the fact his father was missing.

@addilyn

[Deleted]

Addilyn was walking fast, trying to take in as much fresh air as possible while getting away from the castle. She had a feeling Grey wanted to speak with her, and she saw him in the entrance hall. The closest door was the door leading to outside, so here she was, wandering the grounds and avoiding her brother. Her eyes moistening and her throat closing up. She started to cry, but didn't really mind because she was walking alone. There weren't many people out there, but she kept her gaze forward and ignored them anyway.

Still, even though she was trying to walk by everyone, she noticed Al walking almost parallel to her, not far off. She looked over at him, her face a bit puffy and red. Still, she instinctively made her way toward him in silence. She might have looked a little frantic doing so, even though she had no idea what she would say.

Albus Severus Potter

[Deleted]

Normally while he was walking, Al tried not to pay attention to anyone else. When trying to clear his head, getting distracted by other people and what they were doing was counterproductive. However, there were some people that made it difficult not to notice them – like Addilyn Slater, right now, as she was walking towards him. Albus rolled his shoulders back, trying to pull himself out of his own head so he could have a worthwhile conversation. When Addi came into earshot, Al didn’t have anything prepared to say, and began to panic slightly – until he realized that he was definitely not the more panicked one in the conversation. Addi’s steps seemed frantic as she made her way closer to him, and her eyes and face were red and puffy, as if she had just been crying. “Is everything alright?” Albus asked instinctually. The answer was probably no, but he wasn’t sure why Addi would make contact with him unless she wanted to be comforted, which was going to be a Herculean feat for Albus to manage.

@addilyn

[Deleted]

Addi didn't slow her walk until he spoke and she realized that she was marching toward him, maybe in a slightly aggressive fashion, so she slowed and paused. He asked if everything was alright and, for a moment, she considered lying, but she didn't. She shook her head, "do you ever think siblings are just sent here to torture us? Like, there's no other reason for their existence? If everyone in the world was an only child, wouldn't that make things easier?" she was being dramatic, of course. And she loved her siblings, and would be miserable without Claire, she was sure of that. She knew that Albus had two siblings as well, though, and maybe he would have some insight into how to manage them. She didn't know how they got along, of course.She barely knew any of the Potter kids, even though Lily was her age.

Albus Severus Potter

[Deleted]

Of all of the things that Albus had expected Addi to talk about, family drama was not one of them. He had familial problems in droves, with his father’s disappearance being only the most recent item on a long list of ‘things wrong with Albus Potter’s relationships’. “You know, I think that’s a concise summary of the past seven years of my life.” Albus said, chuckling to himself in a manner that was meant to be light-hearted but came out kind of dark instead. Beyond just his own problems with James and Lily, there were also his various entanglements with his cousins, which all could have been avoided if his mother was an only child. But Albus was trying to fix all of those relationships – or at least, he was telling himself that he was trying to fix them all. “Have the Gryffindors got you down?” Albus asked, aware that Addi’s brother at the very least was a Gryffindor. He knew there was a third Slater child, but didn’t know what house Addi’s other older sibling was. Either way, it was convenient to blame Gryffindor siblings for her problems, since that was what Albus had struggled with in the form of James.

@addilyn

[Deleted]

He said that was a 'concise summary' of the past seven years of his life, and her brow furrowed at his chuckle. He asked if the Gryffindors had got her down and she shook her head a little, quite absent minded about anything her body was doing. "Just the one, I guess... more myself. I don't want to face them, I guess," great, she had said "I guess" twice. She definitely sounded like a moron. She cleared her throat and shook her head quickly, trying to snap out of it. She turned to look back up at all after feeling her eyes were focusing a little better, "can I walk with you?" she asked, waiting for his answer before continuing. "I'm more ashamed of myself and that I don't want to face him, you know? I mean, he has better things to worry about than his sister-" she was going to say 'going crazy' but held that in. "Claire is different but... she's not around. Being all graduated and stuff. And next year I'll be on my own here, just like Lily," she recognized.

Albus Severus Potter

[Deleted]

Addi said that the Gryffindors in her life weren’t the reason she was having problems, and Albus just shrugged to himself. It had been a guess, but he hadn’t really expected it to be an accurate one, since Addi’s relationship with her brother didn’t seem as contentious as Al’s relationship with his own brother was. Yikes, Albus thought to himself as Addi began to unleash some words, saying that she was the one getting herself down. Albus didn’t know how to respond to that beyond just nodding. He wasn’t good with this emotional stuff.

“Sure.” Al agreed when Addi asked if she could walk with him. He at least could do that. When Addi said that her brother had better things to do than worry about his sister, Albus reached over impulsively to pat her shoulder. “I wish my sister would let me worry about her.” Lily was too independent to really want people worrying over her, it seemed, and even then, they weren’t all that close. “Lily was pretty much alone this year, too.” Albus said, a little sadly. It had only been recently that he had started focusing on building better relationships with his siblings, and it felt like he was doing too little, too late. He wasn’t sure if there was any way to fix that now, especially now that their father had disappeared. All of the Potter children seemed to be taking it fairly hard, but Al wouldn’t have been surprised if Lily was taking it the hardest of all of them – she had always been their father’s favorite, as far as Al had been concerned.

@addilyn

[Deleted]

She was relieved that he was alright with her walking with him, not that Albus was the type to say no to someone who really needed it, as far as she knew. He patted her shoulder and she slumped a little, grateful for the touch. He said he wished Lily would let him worry about her... basically making Addi think that Grey might feel the same way. He said Lily was pretty much alone this year, too, and Addilyn felt her eyes stinging and shining again, "me too," she choked out. She wanted to just cry as hard as she'd ever cried, but she wasn't sure if Albus Potter was the best person to do that with. She felt terrible that she was crying about something so stupid in comparison to losing a father, like Albus and Lily had.

She started walking, assuming Albus was ready to keep moving again. Plus, she needed a few steps to catch her breath. She wasn't trying to hide the fact that she was crying, there was no point in that.

Albus Severus Potter

[Deleted]

She was crying. What the hell? Albus was not equipped to deal with people crying, much less girls who were not Dusti (okay… and even Dusti) crying. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t really speak much to why Addi’s brother was keeping his distance, because he was pretty sure it had nothing to do with being an asshole and then realizing that he needed to get on a self-betterment kick before he pushed away everyone that he cared about. Albus reached out to pat Addi’s shoulder again awkwardly, but she was already moving, and Al gave her a moment to collect herself before closing the distance between them. “Uh… family stuff is tough for me to talk about.” He admitted to Addi. “It’s okay if it’s hard for you to talk about, too.” He continued awkwardly. Albus Potter: expert comforter. He should not have been allowed around someone with emotions, ever.

@addilyn

[Deleted]

He said that family stuff was tough for him to talk about, and that it was okay if it was hard for her too. She nodded, smiling a little and turning to look at him again. "What makes you happy, Albus? I'm not sure I've ever really known," she said. She didn't know him all that well, which she felt kind of bad about since he was graduating and all. Still, he was not bad to talk to. In fact, it was kind of nice to talk to someone who didn't want anything from her or didn't ask a lot of questions. It was also nice for someone to tell her it was okay for something not to be okay. People didn't say that kind of thing usually. They were too scared of things being hard or of feeling bad. She was one of those people, in all honesty, but maybe... maybe being sad about hard things wasn't completely terrible.

Albus Severus Potter

[Deleted]

Addi asked him what made him happy, and Albus blinked at her. “That’s a bit of a loaded question.” He told her, though she probably knew that anyways. Most people seemed to realize now that happiness wasn’t as easy to achieve as they had first thought. There was no way to snap your fingers and be happy, at least not permanently. “I’m not sure I’ve ever really known what makes me happy, either.” Albus said pensively. He knew things that he liked, but was liking something the same as making him happy? Al had to consider that for a nice long while. “People make me happy, I think.” Albus decided after he had pondered it. “I like it when people are honest. That makes me happy.” He shrugged. It was more difficult now than it used to be, to think about real happiness, and not just stolen moments of not-sadness. But he knew that he liked it when people were willing to be emotionally exposed – probably because he understood how hard that was to do. “What about you?” Albus asked in return.

@addilyn

[Deleted]

He said it was a loaded question and she smiled a little. "That's kind of the point," she admitted. It was nice to draw the attention away from her tears, for one, and for two it was better to talk about happy things. He said he wasn't really sure either, though, which made the subject change kind of backfire on her. She stayed quiet as she waited to see if he would say more. He did, saying people made him happy. That when people were honest that made him happy. She nodded, even though he shrugged and was seemingly just brainstorming. He asked about her, and he shrugged, too. "I like making new discoveries. Preferably of things that will be useful and helpful but... any discovery is exciting. For the most part," she explained, albeit vaguely. "I like dancing, too," she added.

Albus Severus Potter

[Deleted]

Addi said that the point of her question was to be loaded, and he nodded his head at her, acknowledging that. He supposed loaded questions were a great way to turn the conversation in a totally different direction, though Al had never really tried that himself. Most of the time he just made passive-aggressive comments or blatant accusations so that the other person would get angry, and he could storm away in a huff. Sure, it was not the best strategy in the world, but Albus had used it as a crutch – a crutch he was now trying to get rid of. Addis aid that she liked making new discoveries, particularly useful ones, and Albus nodded again at her. “What’s something you’ve discovered today?” He asked. Every day was an opportunity for growth and discovery, after all. Addi said she liked dancing, and Albus paused. “Was that a hint to ask you to dance with me?” Al asked. He wasn’t sure whether it was a statement or a suggestion, and rather than assume Addi’s meeting, he thought asking her to clarify would make things less awkward for both of them.

@addilyn

[Deleted]

They were apparently focusing on her now. He asked what she had discovered today and she felt that lump in her throat again. She looked away, toward the trees and followed one of the trunks up to the sky with her eyes. "That I actually care what people think," she muttered, "nothing much more exciting than that. Yet." By people, she meant Grey, and it was true that she had never really thought he mattered that much to her. Then, after a pause, he asked if that meant she wanted to dance with him and she turned back to him, eyes wide. "No!" she cleared her throat, "no, I'm just saying that I like it. I mean, like, answering your question," her face was feeling a little warm with embarrassment. Had he really thought she was sneakily trying to dance with him? Why on earth would she do that?

Albus Severus Potter

[Deleted]

Addi said that one of the things she had discovered that day was that she actually cared about what people thought, and Albus winced. “That’s a tough one.” He had been trying to ignore that same revelation for years, so he could understand how it could be jarring. Addi said that she hadn’t been asking to dance, and the Slytherin let out a small, relieved sigh. “I just – wanted to make sure.” Albus said, a blush creeping up on his cheeks. He had been doing so well about not being awkward since the tears had stopped, but it looked like he was quickly going to be plunged into the abyss again. “Sometimes people have a hard time saying what they mean.” He added, which was enough to make at least some of the redness recede, because it was a fact. Sometimes people (himself included) skirted around what they wanted to say with a plethora of subtle hints, and then got annoyed when their real purpose wasn’t found out.

@addilyn