Seeing Red Again [Marcia]

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Addie was sitting in a chair on the Psych floor of St. Mungo's, her right leg pulled up in the chair with her and her head resting on it as she waited to see her assigned Psychiatric Healer. This had been her routine for a few weeks now. At first, she'd only have to come in one a week on a need basis, not that she had ever really admitted to needing to see a psych healer because the nerve-calming potions had been doing their job just fine. She'd come every once in a while so the healer wouldn't worry but for the most part, she took her potions and functioned. Months had gone on like that. And then the explosions happened at Hogwarts. The Ministry had gotten incredibly busy, including her as a new member of the Improper Use of Magic office. Of course they would try to help as much as they could. Someone got their hands on pictures of the explosions and Addie had the misfortune of seeing them. Everything came back with stunning clarity, the explosion she'd been placed in the middle of. Abby's death. Even the nerve-calming potions hadn't been able to keep her from the panic attack she'd had. She'd blacked out on the job with no one truly knowing why. When she'd come to, they'd chalked it up to her being new and not being used to seeing things like that but Royal and the Minister had caught wind of it. Now she was back here, and they'd put her on a strict schedule. And she was adhering to it, because it was her only choice. She took a deep breath and didn't bother looking at the clock because she didn't mind the wait. Less talking, less scrutiny that way.

Tag; open

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Addie had pressed her face into her leg now, the light coming from the windows and the lights above her being just a little too much so suddenly for her to deal with. She really just wanted to get this over with. She didn't have work today. She didn't have any errands to run. She just wanted to get back to her room and curl up with a good book. With any luck, Royal would be in to ask any questions about how she was. He was just protective enough to be annoying. And she hated thinking about her brother like that because she loved him but she also really just wanted to be alone. The looks he gave her sometimes were just too much. It reminded her that Abby was gone. She didn't feel the pain of that thought because of the nerve calming potion. Those potions were her everything. She sighed, still waiting and knowing any moment her healer would come out and greet her with a politeness that still managed to be patronizing. The sound of footsteps met her ears and she figured that they would just be passing by. Maybe it was another Psychiatric Healer, maybe it was a nurse. She didn't know because she still didn't look up. She didn't even look up when they paused. She especially wouldn't look up when she heard them approach her because that would invite conversation and that was something that she didn't want. That is, until the person started talking to her anyway. She wanted to groan but she still ended up processing what she said. Something about having the ministry send her there. And then Addie really processed everything. She knew that voice. Her head snapped up and then she turned towards the direction where she knew the girl to be seeing. Yup. She knew it. Marcia Hawke was sitting next to her. She knew the girl twice over. From school as Addie. From the Order as Claire. ”Oh. Hi Marcia. No, not quite. They're having you do this to be a Hitwizard?” Addie greeted and asked, even though she didn't really want to be having the conversation. She had to. It would be weird to just completely ignore her because she knew her. She was really going to have to get better at choosing the days she came there.

Tag; @rivtrois

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Addie had known she'd said her name, it didn't strike her, however, that she probably didn't remember her. Mostly because she was in disguise and didn't look like herself. She couldn't speak about their Order affiliations, not in public anyway, so she decided to tell her only a partial truth. "Oh. You don't remember me? I guess that's okay too, we didn't speak too often in school. We went to Hogwarts together." That was true. She remembered that the Marcia had been in Slytherin House while she attended. Addie had been a Ravenclaw but if she asked, she wouldn't answer with the truth. While Hogwarts was one of the smaller wizarding schools, it still had quite a few students and if you didn't share houses you didn't know every student from your year. She surely didn't remember everyone from her year.

She sat up in her chair a little bit and gave the woman a once over. Everything she had been saying before processed and her eyebrows furrowed a bit. "So it's not just the Hitwizard training? Is everything okay?" she asked the question to bring the spotlight off of her but she expected that it would be a little bit more difficult than that. She was genuinely interested in what she said though. Recent trauma? What had the woman been up to outside of Hogwarts? She hadn't really known much about what she'd been up to since then and even when the Order got together for meetings, Addie steered clear from mostly everyone aside from those who knew of her true identity. She didn't want to be noticed.

Tag; @rivtrois

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She carefully controlled her face when the girl seemingly accepted her words with a smile and a quick wink. Maybe that meant she did really only remember her from the Order. And it didn’t even take her saying it out loud for her to remember her as that and only that. She was quick but Addie felt some relief in knowing that her disguise was still holding up. That no one so through it that she didn’t want to. The dark haired girl then began to explain what it was that she was doing there, something about a ward breaking her arm. Maybe they wanted to assess her for trauma from the incident, make sure she was okay to go back into the field. With the way she talked about the incident, she figured the healer would okay her to go back to work. ”You sound perfectly fine to me. I’m sure they’ll okay you to get back to work. I’m sure it’s all just some sort of formality that they have to follow through with.” Just like they’d had to follow through with her after the entire thing with her sister. She took a deep breath the steady the wave of her thoughts, the ones that wanted to pull her back in time. She disguised by shaking her head as if in disappointment with the ministry. She was getting so used to lying like this. She didn’t even feel bad about it anymore. The spotlight was then turned on her, the girl asking her about her adventures with the Improper Use department. She gave a shrug before answering. ”Of course, I can’t say much about it out in the open but we’ve gotten incredibly busy with that incident after the tournament ended. Paperwork and more paperwork. Investigations everyday just to try to get some deeper insight into what happened,” She kept her answer as vague as possible because she really wasn’t supposed to talk about it much, even with other departments she knew were in the thick of it all. ”I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about it though.

Tag; @rivtrois

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She could understand the sigh that came from the woman at her words. She must have been eager to get back to work though she couldn't understand why with the constant chaos surrounding the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Then again, heroics and battle were never really her thing. She left that to her twin. The thoughts made her feel dark again and she had to take a deep, calming breath, attempting to mask it as a sigh so the dark haired woman wouldn't ask too many questions about it. Any moment now and the healer would be out of the door calling her in to take a peek at her mental state once again. As much as she hated it, it was better than being in her current position. Marcia continued, speaking of the theories that were floating around her department on what had happened. She just wanted it to be over so she could stop having to look at pictures of the explosions and stop having to discuss the grief families must be going through over their losses. She'd felt the pain before. She knew the grief personally. She didn't want to talk about it. It was at that moment that the healer stepped out of her office. Addie turned her head up, expecting her to wave her in but instead she turned to Marcia. Addie held in a sigh, looking up at the woman and giving a nod. "Looks like that's your cue," she commented just as the woman stood to walk in. She left her with parting words, telling her to find her at work sometime so they could grab lunch together. Addie offered a small smile and a wave, one she didn't really feel. Probably because she knew she wouldn't do that. As much as she enjoyed her job, it just felt like a job for her. All she ever wanted to do was to busy herself with work and once her shift ended, she went back home to be with her books. To be with herself. Her actual self and not the disguise that she wore. Once the healer had closed the door, Addie relaxed herself, waiting patiently for her turn to see the doctor and hoping it wouldn't be too long.

Tag; @rivtrois

((THE END))