Everything Will Be Just Fine (Tia)

[Deleted]

Rory's mind was on fire and at the same time his bones ached. Was this really what he signed up for when he decided he wanted to be a healer? Granted, going in as a mediwizard was definitely more taxing than some of the other healing positions, but still. Nights like tonight made him rethink some of his prior convictions. Sure, he loved helping people and saving them, but was there any way to do that without the forever long shifts? Right now, his mind wasn't working enough to figure that out.

Honestly, if Rory was being smart he'd go home right now and collapse onto his bed, but he didn't want to. Sometimes, after a long shift, the best thing to do was go out somewhere and find a way to relax. Which was why he found himself walking into the Leaky Cauldron. It was late, but not late enough that the place was entirely empty. Actually, there were more people there than he expected. Making his way over to the bar, Rory's eyes skimmed over the people in his room. Naturally he wouldn't know any ... wait. His eyes caught on a familiar figure at the bar and without thinking about it, Rory's feet carried him that direction.

It was Tia. He hadn't seen her since that day when she had her little panic attack. He wasn't sure if it was because she was busy, which was entirely plausible in their line of work, or if she was avoiding him. If it was the former she wouldn't mind him approaching, but if it was the latter ... well, he didn't care. He wanted to check on her and he liked the girl. He wanted to make sure she was enjoying work and everything, and hopefully he'd be able to get her to talk to him again. "Hey Tia," he greeted as he moved to sit on the stool beside hers. He nodded at the bartender, who recognized him enough to know what to get Rory. Moments later a mug was in front of him and Rory glanced over at the girl beside him.

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own.

TIA HADN'T REALLY ENJOYED A DAY OFF WORK since she'd started at St. Mungo's. She liked to keep busy, and while moving in to a new flat was sure to do just that, it wasn't the same. She'd gotten used to the typical routine of the hospital. Where everything had it's place, and her presence was a commodity. Outside, nobody really needed her except her cat and her plants. But, that hadn't stopped Tia from trying to enjoy her day off.

The Leaky Cauldron was as dirty as it was dim, but they served the best imported brandy in the wizarding country. The kind that had just the right kind of kick, something her muggle kin had yet to perfect. And, since it wasn't terribly far from her new flat, she'd decided to go along and consume as much as possible so that she might forget about how bored she was.

Well in to her fourth brandy, a voice sounded over Tia's shoulder. She jerked in shock, head twisting as her face pinched in confusion. She hadn't been expecting company of any sort, and so when she turned to find her superior looming over her, she turned right back around at once. With her back to him, Tia had a moment to compose herself as he took the seat beside her. She hadn't been avoiding Roman, per say. It was more a venture in pride than anything else. Since the last time she had seen him she'd been something of a mess.

"Hey... Roman." She said instinctively, shifting on her stool as she sat with both hands wrapped tightly around her tumbler. "Wouldn't have pegged the Leaky Cauldron as your style," She said boldly. The brandy had made her tongue a little loose. 

@rory

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

She was obviously surprised, though Rory wasn’t sure if it was because he was talking to her or if it was because someone was. Honestly, he was just glad he had the opportunity to be there. He wanted to talk to her and make sure everything was alright with her. He figured she probably didn’t want to talk about the same thing they did when he convinced her to take a small break. “Tia,” he answered, offering a small smile. He hoped she wasn’t upset that he approached her. If she gave any indication of that he’d just leave her alone. He didn’t want to make her upset. He shrugged, “I was looking for something different today. I get tired of going to the same places all the time, you know?” He sighed, “Do you come here often?” If she did, maybe he’d have to visit her here every once in a while. Not all the time, just enough that he could check up on her a little bit.

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own.

TIA HAD NEVER HAD A TASTE FOR 'DIFFERENT'. She had always had an almighty appreciation for routine. It helped her stay in control, she reckoned. But, she only reckoned when she was feeling introspective and she wasn't feeling like looking in on herself to day. She liked her brandy and her quiet.

"It's my usual place, I guess," Tia said vaguely, shrugging one shoulder as she took a swig of her drink. "It's right next to the Apothecary." And it wasn't like she was a complete dull dud. She liked a drink as much as the next person. She just worked a lot. Brandishing her glass slightly, Tia awkwardly added, "Plus, the liquors pretty cheap." Before she swigged the last of what remained in her glass. The brandy was making her tongue a little loose. 

@rory

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Tia seemed quiet and a bit subdued, but that wasn't really a surprise to Rory. She was definitely the quiet type. He learned that a while ago, working with her, but he tried his best not to pressure her. He wanted Tia to trust him, to know that she could talk to him whenever she needed anything. A part of him thought that after their last interaction she started pulling away, which made the idea of supporting her more difficult, but Rory was still going to make the effort. 

He ordered a drink from the bartender, nodding as she explained that this was her normal place. "Being next to the Apothecary is quite useful," he agreed after a moment. Was it just him, or was this conversation definitely awkward? Probably both. He nodded, "I can understand that. So do you come here whenever you stop off at the apothecary's or ...?" Rory trailed off, hoping his question would encourage her to talk a bit more. "Do you normally drink on your own or do you have friends that join you?" In all honesty, he knew almost nothing about her life and found himself suddenly curious. Outside of work, what did Tia do? Who did she do things with? Maybe knowing these sorts of things would help him be able to reach her.

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own.

THERE WAS AN OBVIOUS TENSION BETWEEN THEM, even someone as socially inept as Tia could feel as much. But, it wasn't entirely unusual for her either. She'd dealt with her fair share of awkward interactions. It was only worse so with Rory because of how they had last interacted. Memories of her panic attack were thick and oily in the back of her mind. She nodded mutely at Rory, looking down at her drink.

"Oh," Tia snorted, shaking her head. "If I came here every time I was at the Apothecary I'd be a drunk." She slid her glass in a circle on the bar-top, creating wet figure of 8's on the wood. "I go the Apothecary almost every day." Tia said with a short, pursed smile. It was her happy place, no doubt about it.

Though, Tia's face quickly dropped at the mention of friends. Did he think she was some kind of sad loner? Drinking by herself on one of her only free afternoons. "I have... friends." Tia said stiffly, running the tip of her nail across a slight chip in her glass. "But, sometimes I like being alone." Which was also true. She wasn't lonely every time she was alone. He'd simply caught her on a bad day. 

"What about you?" Tia retorted, turning in her chair. The alcohol was making her tongue loose, but she didn't try to stop it as she lifted her glass and pointed a finger at him. "I don't see you fighting off a crowd?" She cast her eyes around them, sure that he was probably alone. When she was done, she looked back at him, her brows quirking upward. 

@rory

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Tia was not making this easy. Rory wondered if she wanted him to leave or if she was just in a quiet mood tonight. He wasn't exactly sure what to think, but decided to give it a while. If she didn't want him here, well she'd have to tell him or wait until he left because he honestly did not know how to read her. 

Rory chuckled at her, "Well then, I'm glad you don't come here as often as you go to the Apothecary then." He certainly didn't think it was a good idea for a healer-in-training to be constantly drunk. At the same time, he trusted Tia. She seemed fairly mature for her age and knew what she wanted. She was smart enough to not need advice from him when it came to things like drinking and he had no intention of offering any advice there.

She was obviously a bit defensive at his comment and Rory cringed a little. "Sorry Tia, I didn't mean it to sound that way. I understand liking the chance to be alone sometimes." Alone time was especially good if one was trying to figure things out. He didn't know if Tia needed it for that or not, but didn't ask. He didn't want it to seem like he was interrogating her or something. 

Tia turned his questions back on him and Rory shrugged, smiling a little. "I often go places on my own." Most of his friends had their own lives and things that they wanted to do. Rory was there for them when they needed him, but most nights he took care of himself, if he wasn't working. "Sometimes I meet up with friends, but when I'm in the mood for a drink after work I don't really wait around for anyone."

He paused, having a question he wanted to ask, but not wanting to offend the girl. "How have you been doing at the hospital? It's been a while since I've seen you there." 

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own.

PRESSING HER LIPS TOGETHER FIRMLY, TIA managed a stiff nod. "Me too..." She muttered. She was trying to be friendly, to appease whatever part of Rory that had possessed him to approach her. In reality, all she could really think about was the blood on her hands and how tight her chest had felt. And, most of all, the fact that he'd seen her like that. It changed everything. It made her hard for her to pretend.

"I wasn't..." Tia looked down at her drink and swallowed. Why did he have to be so damn nice? It made it harder for her to be cold with him. "I know you didn't." She tried on a small smile for size, nodding her head at him in reassurance. She didn't want him to worry about her, to think that she was still struggling. But, the booze weren't helping.

Watching him, though, Tia felt better knowing she wasn't the only patron drinking alone. She didn't question him further. "Same," She said in agreement, though she didn't really have many people asking her out for drinks after work in the first place. And Tia wasn't the type to extend last minute invitations. She figured, though, that it was close enough to the truth.

Unfortunately, they couldn't just talk about their social lives all night. Eventually, the subject changed and Tia couldn't even blame him as she lifted her glass, busying her mouth with a drink before she answered. "I'm doing fine," She said, nodding her head, though her brain ran laps as she wondered if he was asking to be friendly, or if he was asking because of what had happened the last time she had seen him. "I- I haven't had another... episode, you know?" She tried to encourage him with a smile as she almost whispered, "I told you it wouldn't happen again." Her gaze dropped to the bar top, cheeks turning red with shame.

@rory

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Rory took a drink when she agreed with him, figuring there was honesty nothing else he could say to that. Man, Tia could be very tight-lipped when she wanted. He couldn't help but wonder why she was being so quiet. The last time they talked she seemed to actually like it, or did he read that situation long?

He was also worried that he offended her, which would make this conversation he was trying to have entirely impossible, but then she smiled a little. Rory returned the small smile, "Good. I have only the highest opinions of you, Tia." He wanted her to hear that, even though he wasn't entirely sure she would believe it. She seemed to be somehow determined to only think the worst of herself. A part of him wished he knew why. Then maybe he would be able to find a way to help, but he wasn't going to push himself into her life. He'd help her if she wanted it and confided in him, not before.

She took a drink before answering his question, saying she was doing fine, but her tone wasn't quite convincing and Rory couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong. She continued after a bit, telling him that she hadn't had another episode, smiling. Rory's expression was serious as he started to shake his head. "I wasn't talking about that Tia," he said gently. "I'm not worried about that, I just haven't been able to talk to you lately. I was wondering how things are at the hospital, and outside the hospital and life and stuff." He shrugged. Rory wasn't good at this, but he was trying. "I'm not good at balance in my own life ... but I just want to know how you're doing." He hoped she'd understand what he meant now, but if she didn't he wouldn't be surprised. Rory's words weren't quite working the way he wanted them to right now.

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own.

RORY WAS MAKING IT VERY HARD FOR TIA TO maintain her evasiveness. Her cheeks turning pink as he admitted how highly he thought of her. She wanted to correct him, but it felt nice to be appreciated for a moment. She spent so much time reminding herself she was good at her job that when she heard it from a third party it was almost... surprising.

"Thanks..." She muttered in to her drink, dipping her chin in to her chest as she took a moment to gather herself. Tia was a fairly confident girl, but she hadn't been expecting her interaction with Rory. Seeing as she had been avoiding him since her episode, it was indeed quite a surprise. And Tia had never really liked surprises. "That- it means a lot coming from you." She added, looking up with her jaw squared. She wasn't a coward, so why did she keep dropping her gaze? "I've always admired your work." Which was entirely true, things were just a little awkward between them. That was why Tia did not enjoy mixing work with her personal life.

Tia tried to assure him that she was nothing but professional, but he continued to look at her with that soft concern. She stared at him in confusion, why wouldn't he be concerned? There were patients at risk if she couldn't perform her job, she had thought that was what he had meant. Tia dropped her hands in to her lap and pressed her fingers tightly between her thighs as she waited for him to finish.

"I don't... know what you want for me." She admitted, shaking her head. "We weren't... friends before I had a panic attack." She looked up at him, a wrinkle between her brows as she bluntly asked him, "Why are you asking me... friendly questions now?" For lack of a better word. But, Tia wasn't trying to be rude. She was genuinely at a loss as to what angle Rory was playing.

"I don't... need that kind of balance." Tia said, clearing her throat as she shrugged her shoulders. "I'm at ease when I'm working." It felt as simple as that in her head, but in reality Tia was so profoundly wrong that when she said it out loud she scrunched her face at how boring she sounded. 

@rory

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Tia seemed a bit embarrassed as he complimented her, but Rory wasn't about to take any of it back. The girl worked harder than most people did and he appreciated how much effort she put into it. She obviously cared about her work and it was impressive. She should know that. He nodded to her when she thanked him, feeling that he didn't need to really say anything else to that. 

Then she blindsided him, saying that his compliment meant a lot because she always admired his work. A surprised smile covered Rory's expression, but he was definitely pleased. "Thanks, I'm glad to hear that," he answered. "Also, I do want you to know I don't give compliments like that lightly." He generally didn't compliment most interns at all, but Tia wasn't like most of the others. She took her work serious, studied hard and applied herself with every task she was given. It was impressive. 

Rory could see the confusion in her eyes and couldn't help but wonder what was causing it. She knew she was a good student. She worked to do all the things he and the other healers asked of her. Was she really doubting him that much? Or was it something else. At her admission, Rory gave a relieved sort of chuckle. "Sorry, I'm not trying to upset you." He tried to think of how to explain himself the best way. "I want you to know that I don't think any less of you. I don't doubt your abilities on the job and I admire your work ethic. I haven't really had a chance to tell you that at work, so when I saw you sitting here when I walked in ..." he trailed off, shrugging a little. "I couldn't help myself."

Rory didn't argue when she said that she was most calm when she worked. Good. At least Tia knew what would help her best, that was the important thing. She needed to know what her limits were and what she could and couldn't do. From all appearances, it looked like she had that figured out pretty well. He nodded to show he listened, taking another drink. 

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own.

IT WAS A BIG LEAP FOR TIA TO ADMIT JUST HOW much she admired Rory without waffling over her words. She was very good at accepting compliments, but very bad at giving them. There was something about the vulnerability of it that made her all hot under the collar. Though it did straighten Tia's spine slightly when Rory admitted that he did not give out compliments lightly. It inflated her enough to keep his gaze for longer than a split second at a time.

However, while his bare faced honesty was pleasing to an extent, Tia still did not understand why he was going to the trouble of telling in her in the first place, at a bar of all places. It probably did not help that she had had a bit to drink. Her quiet confidence was frazzled and her usual caution had turned to suspicion. But, there was just something about Rory's comforting smile that made it impossible for Tia to keep it up. She felt her shoulder sag, shaking her head in disbelief at her own ridiculousness.

"I'm... sorry," Tia said, mumbling out her apology like it hurt to do so. "I know that you mean well, I'm just-" Licking her lips, Tia turned away and lifted her hand, signalling for the barkeep to refill her glass, she felt like she might need it. "I'm not good at this." It took her a moment to finish her sentence but when she did she turned her head to try her hand at a bit of a smile. It was small and perhaps a little stiff, but she was trying.

"I mean, I can't avoid you forever, right?" Tia scoffed, picking at the corner of a coaster before snatching her fresh drink as soon as it was placed opposite her. She took a great gulp before she could say anything else."I'm just... not a very good friend."  Tia warned him, flashing him a look from the corner of her eye. "I'm a far better mediwitch." She said this with complete surety, like it wasn't a slight against her at all. Because, at the end of the day, Tia knew what she'd prefer to be good at and it wasn't socialising. 

@rory

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Tia was obviously pleased by his compliment, but at the same time Rory could tell that something was wrong with the young healer-to-be. She was stressed and didn't seem happy, which was a little odd for someone that was drinking a bit. Then again, maybe she didn't react the same to drinking as most people did. He watched her for a bit before turning his attention to his glass. He didn't want Tia to feel like a patient or something. He wanted her to trust him, which didn't seem like a possibility at the moment. 

When she spoke again, Rory looked back over at her, surprised that she was apologizing to him. What did she have to apologize for. She talked about not being good at "this" and Rory shook his head. "What are you talking about, you're not good at this?" Was she saying she wasn't good at talking to people, or talking to her trainers outside of the hospital or something else altogether.

He nodded slowly when she said that she couldn't avoid her forever. "Do you want to avoid me forever?" Rory asked bluntly. He had a feeling that Tia would prefer bluntness to questions that skirted around the real intention. She explained a bit further, saying she wasn't a good friend, that she was a better mediwitch and Rory finally understood. "Tia, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable and I'm sorry if I did. I simply tend to gravitate to people I know when I come to places like this." Drinking with someone you knew was far better than drinking alone, wasn't it?

@tia

[Deleted]

i am my own.

IT WAS NOT IN TIA'S NATURE TO APOLOGISE, AND so for her to have apologised to Rory was a big thing for her. Of course, it could have had something to do with the booze, but who was to say? She pushed away her glass and sat up straighter, wishing that he hadn't asked her to elaborate on what she wasn't good at. Tia was far better at talking about what she was good at.

"Talking to people, I suppose?" Which was only half true, because she wasn't terrible at talking with her patients. But that was in a professional setting, which was entirely different. "'Being social'." She flexed her fingers in air quotes, though it pained her to do so.

Turning in her seat, Tia realised suddenly that she might have offended Rory. She hadn't meant to when she'd mentioned avoiding him, but she didn't rush to correct herself either. She had been avoiding him, but it was through no fault of his own. "I thought I did," She said, forcing herself to look him in the eye. "But I don't think that I do any more." In reality, being around him was far less unpleasant than she had first assumed it would be. Her own anxiety had played it up beyond recognition.

"I was being cowardly." She muttered, which was big or her to admit. "Here, next drink's on me." She lifted her hand to motion at the bartender, ready for a fresh glass of brandy and maybe to ask Rory some of the questions she had originally been itching to ask of him, about technique and his infallible bedside manner. Before he'd seen her at her weakest. 

@rory

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

She sat up straighter at his question and Rory wondered if perhaps he offended her by asking that. Maybe he should retract his question, tell her not to worry about explaining. Before he got the chance to, she answered him. She wasn't good at talking to people ad being social. Rory nodded thoughtfully at her words. He disagreed of course, thinking that she seemed to do just fine talking with him once he got her to talk, but if it was something she felt uncomfortable about, he didn't want to push her feelings to the side. That would not be the right thing to do.

"I get that," he said after a moment. "When I first started working at St. Mungos, I was so focused at my job and at learning how to do it right that I kind of forgot people. I didn't really talk to anyone or reach out to anyone." He hesitated before adding, "Maybe that's part of the reason I thought we should talk?" He hoped she didn't mind that. He didn't mean it in an offensive way. He wanted to make sure she was doing well. That was why he approached her in the first place.

It took Tia a few seconds to answer his question, but when she did she met his eye bravely. A small smile touched the corner of Rory's lips as he nodded, "Good to know. Well, I want you to know that I'm here for you. If you need anything, help studying or practicing or even just someone to talk to, I'm here for you. And if you don't need anything, that's fine too." His smile grew slightly, "But I am glad that you don't think you need to avoid me anymore."

Rory nodded when she said she was being cowardly, but didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He smiled, accepting the drink she ordered. "Thank you," he muttered. He honestly hadn't been expecting anything like that. "Is there anything you want to talk about?" Rory asked before taking a swallow. It was nice that they were actually talking now, that things weren't so tense anymore.

@tia