Losing Track Of It All (Prissy)

[Deleted]

First Week In October

Kinsey was tired. It felt like that was how she felt in general these days. She thought that coming back to school would make things better for her, but it hadn't. First Riley broke up with her, which was harder than she cared to admit. Then the classwork was getting harder and harder. Mostly though ... Kinsey felt alone. She reached out to her younger sisters, hoping that would help, but they were a year younger and in a different house. She needed friends, which led to her decision to try and gain more control over her gift. Ever since she discovered her ability, she found herself hiding from the people with bad intentions, hiding from crowds and gatherings of people and she was starting to realize that that was no way to live. Sure, she could do it but it would be extremely lonely.

So Kinsey was on a mission. She wanted to control her ability, rather than allowing it to control her for the rest of her life. She wanted to learn how to deal with big crowds and how to notice intentions without allowing them to overwhelm her. The only issue was, seh couldn't find anything to suggest than anyone else had the same type of ability. So, she started studying more about empaths, since there was a little information about them. That became her life the first month back in school. She spent her time going to classes, doing her homework and then studying about empaths. Anything and everything she could learn about them. She thought about writing to the guy she met over the summer- Dan- and had even written a few letters, but she hadn't sent them. She was nervous.

Today was no different. She'd finished her studies and then placed herself in a window seat in the Ravenclaw Common room and commenced reading, skimming and studying the books she'd found at the library. There was a small stack by her side and she was oblivious to the world around her. It was actually to the point that she didn't realize how late it was. She sat in the window seat, a lamp nearby and her wand in her hand as she continued to read, entirely unaware that it was almost midnight.

@priscilla

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Priscilla was quite pleased with how her October was going so far, a continuation of how well September had gone for her. She would be marrying Riley Fudge, her idea for a new society at Hogwarts had been accepted by the school’s staff, and she had even gotten a piece written up about it in the school newspaper. If that was any indication of how the rest of her fifth year was going to go, she thought, it would be her best year yet.

With so much excitement, it was no wonder that she couldn’t sleep. She wandered outside of her dormitory well after curfew, hoping to sit down and get some of her thoughts onto parchment, only to see that there was someone else who was still awake. Sitting in one of the windows, Priscilla noticed, was the girl Riley had apparently been dating before her own betrothal to him had been announced.

“Hello,” Priscilla spoke in greeting, coming closer to the older girl, who was illuminated by lamplight as well as the light coming from her wand as she read—quite the stack of books with her, too, from the look of it. “Kinsey, isn’t it?” She was one of the Bainbridges, though some people seemed to think that they actually resembled one another. Priscilla couldn’t see where they got that idea, for what it was worth.

Moving into a desk chair with her own things, Priscilla glanced over at the window again. “Have I interrupted you?” she asked after a moment. The other girl had been there first and presumably hadn’t gone to bed yet.

@kinsey

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Kinsey was so distracted by her studies that she didn't even realize anyone joining her in the common room. Over the last few hours, people had come and gone and she didn't realize it was so late, so even if she did sense the girl's intentions as she walked in, Kinsey ignored them. She was too intrigued by what she was learning about empaths. 

She jumped ever so slightly when she heard a voice nearby and turned with an automatic smile on her face, though she had to force herself to keep it there when she realized who is was. Priscilla. The girl who was engaged to Riley. Her stomach twisted, but Kinsey ignored it. She didn't want to offend the girl. "Hello, yes I'm Kinsey," she answered before continuing hesitantly, "and you're Priscilla, right?" Of course, she knew who the girl was, but they'd never talked with one another, so she didn't have to let on that she knew. 

She shrugged at the girl's question. "Not really. I was just doing a little extra reading for fun." Kinsey glanced out the window, surprised when she realized how dark it was. "I didn't realize it was so late." She turned back to the other girl. "What has you up at this hour?"

@priscilla

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The other girl said hello to her and confirmed that she was Kinsey. “And you’re Priscilla, right?” she tacked on, sounding as though she wasn’t quite as sure about that as she was her own identity.

Priscilla nodded. “I am,” she confirmed.

Kinsey replied to her earlier question with a shrug, saying that she hadn’t really interrupted her. She had been doing some additional reading for the fun of it, which wasn’t uncommon among Ravenclaws, and hadn’t realized that it had gotten so late. Judging by her reaction to how dark it had become outside, she wasn’t lying.

“What has you up at this hour?”

“I was just thinking,” Priscilla shrugged. She wasn’t lying, either, though she was being deliberately vague. “About life and everything, you know.”

@kinsey

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The other girl confirmed that she was Priscilla and Kinsey smiled, not really knowing what else she could say. It wasn't like this girl intentionally ruined her life by becoming engaged to the guy Kinsey was in love with. At least, she didn't think Priscilla was responsible. Weren't parents normally in charge of things like that?

Kinsey nodded when Priscilla said she was thinking about life and "everything". What the heck was she talking about. "Yeah," Kinsey answered vaguely. Feeling like the conversation died, and not really interested in starting it back up, she looked back down at her book. She at least wanted to finish this chapter before she went to bed. It might have something that could help her with her interactions. Then again, it might not but Kinsey felt very hopeful. She read determinedly, deciding she would leave once she finished. Hopefully Priscilla would leave before then, but if not Kinsey could be the one to awkwardly leave. What she wasn't going to do was start a conversation. She had no desire to talk to the girl that was engaged to Riley.

@priscilla
(sorry ... Kinsey is being very antisocial at the moment haha)

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Ravenclaws, on the whole, weren’t the most social people. Most preferred their books or experiments to interaction with others, and it appeared that Kinsey was no different in that regard. She responded with a “Yeah,” after Priscilla voiced that she had just been thinking, and that was that. She returned to her book, which seemed to mark the end of their conversation.

At least, it was the end of their conversation for the moment. Priscilla, who could see neither the spine nor the cover of Kinsey’s book well enough to tell what it was that she happened to be reading, decided to ask.

“What are you reading?” she wondered, tilting her head to try to get a better look at Kinsey’s book. Whatever it was, maybe it was interesting, Priscilla thought to herself. She didn’t really know what Kinsey did with her time besides the obviousness of schoolwork, and maybe the book would give her some idea. Besides, maybe she would like the book, too.

@kinsey

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When silence took over in the common room, Kinsey couldn't help but feel relieved. She didn't want to talk to Priscilla, though she would never do or say anything to let the girl know that. It wasn't her fault that Kinsey was still in love with her fiance. At least she wasn't rubbing the fact in Kinsey's face, though she really shouldn't have any reason to do so. It wasn't like Kinsey was chasing after Riley ... or even looking at him, despite how much she wanted to. 

Then Priscilla spoke again. Kinsey looked up, surprised that she was asking about the book. Kinsey lifted it so she could see the cover. "It's about known abilities that witches and wizards have. It mentions animagi, legilimens and occlumency," she listed off some of the abilities, leaving off the one she was focused on- empathy. It was too close to her own secret ability, she didn't want anyone to know that she was trying to learn as much as she could about empaths. She hadn't even told Toby.

@priscilla

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Kinsey lifted the book so that its cover was visible. “It's about known abilities that witches and wizards have,” she said, while Priscilla took in the cover for herself. It mentioned Animagi, Legilimens, and Occlumens, Kinsey added, all of which must have been fascinating to read about.

Priscilla nodded. “I haven’t read that one,” she commented. She thought that training to become a Legilimens or an Occlumens or even an Animagus would be useful to her at some point, though she had no immediate plans to ask anyone for lessons. It did seem interesting enough, though. The amount of time and energy that it took to learn any of those three skills was enough to keep a lot of people from ever trying. Animagi really just needed time on their hands, from what she understood of the process; Legilimens and Occlumens needed more strength of mind.

“Are you trying to become one?” she asked, wondering if that was why Kinsey had such a large pile of books with her. “I heard someone say that that American professor—the Native American one—is an Occlumens,” she recalled. Frankly, Priscilla didn’t even know the man’s name—just his face—but had remembered a snippet of someone else’s conversation. “You could ask him, maybe, if you’re interested in learning Legilimency.” Priscilla shrugged her shoulders a little bit; it wasn’t that helpful of a suggestion, considering that she couldn’t introduce Kinsey to someone she herself didn’t even know.

@kinsey

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Kinsey wasn't very surprised when Priscilla said she hadn't read this particular book. She might've been more surprised if the other girl had, in fact. This was a bit of an obscure book, one it took a while for Kinsey to find in the library, but it was worth it. This book actually had quite a bit on empaths, though she decided she should probably close it now, just in case Priscilla wanted to see where she was reading. She glanced at the page number first, just so she wouldn't have to search through it again. "Yeah, not many people have," she answered with a bit of a forced smile. Why was Priscilla talking to her? 

Priscilla asked if Kinsey was trying to become one and she shrugged, "I'm not really sure. I thought I should look into it a bit more before I made up my mind, but I do think Legilimency would be very useful." She wasn't sure if Occlumens or Legilimens would help her with her gift, maybe closing her mind could help her gain more control over her ability. Hmm, she was definitely going to need to think on that a bit more. "Thanks for the suggestion. I think I probably will talk to him." Kinsey's smile was a little more sincere now, but she broke the eye contact, glancing down at the book that was now closed on her lap. Now what? She didn't particularly want to talk to Priscilla because she didn't want to like the girl who was engaged to Riley, but she also didn't want to offend her, which made this feel like a complicated situation. Kinsey wasn't good at complicated situations.

@priscilla

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Kinsey commented that not many people had read the book she was reading. It must have been from the Restricted Section, Priscilla supposed, or maybe it was a new release. Whatever it was, Priscilla made a note to check it out eventually.

The older girl stated that she wasn't really sure what sort of ability she would want to try to learn, though she said that she thought Legilimency would be useful—thanking her, too, for the suggestion that she speak with the American professor.

Priscilla guessed that she was happy to have helped Kinsey out, though it didn’t really fill her with any warm and fuzzy feelings for her, either. "With so many siblings about your age, I would have guessed you'd want to be an Occlumens, yourself," she mused aloud. She had more siblings than a lot of people, too, but her siblings all had been much older than she was by the time that she had come along. As a result, she had never really had the problems that a lot of people had with theirs. She'd only just reached the age where she could actually fit into some of her sisters' clothing if she wanted to without looking like she was playing dress-up. "Mine are all older," she added, not to mention that they all had their married lives and whatnot.

@kinsey

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Kinsey smiled when Priscilla guessed that she'd want to be an Occlumens too. "I mean, I could, but most of my siblings can't read me very well." Unless she wanted them to, that was. Also, Kinsey had a tendency to shut herself away from most of them anyway. Most of her siblings didn't approach her, she approached them. Especially now that she'd lost Dustin and basically Diana too. "I don't think that's a bad idea though." Occlumency could be a very useful tool. 

Priscilla offered a little more, saying that all of her siblings were older. Wait. She had older siblings? "How many siblings do you have?" Kinsey asked curiously. She'd never considered getting to know the other girl at all. She didn't really want to, but at the same time sometimes Kinsey couldn't control her Ravenclaw curiosity.

@priscilla

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Kinsey said that she supposed she'd want to be an Occlumens, too, though she stated that her siblings couldn't read her too well. Nevertheless, she agreed that it wouldn't be a bad idea.

"How many siblings do you have?" It seemed to be a shock to Kinsey that she, too, had siblings. Granted, Priscilla wasn't entirely certain that Kinsey had known who she was before she and Riley had been officially engaged to one another. That Priscilla knew Diana also wasn't something that she could mention, exactly.

"Five," she replied. Her family certainly wasn't as large as some—the Weasleys and the Fawleys coming to mind—but it wasn't exactly small. "Two sisters and three brothers," or even numbers—three and three—if she were included in the count. "My sister who's closest to my age is twenty-five, and my eldest brother is thirty-six. The other three are in the middle." And then she had come along about ten years later than her sister, eternally grateful that her family was wealthy enough that she had never worn hand-me-downs.

@kinsey

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Kinsey watched Priscilla, waiting for her to answer her question. She honestly didn't know much about the younger Ravenclaw, other than the fact that she was engaged to Riley, which meant she had to be a Pureblood. Other than that, Kinsey knew absolutely nothing about the girl's family or anything about her. She listened intently, surprised when she realized that Priscilla had such a large family. She nodded as the other girl explained that her siblings were way older than she was. "Are you close with any of your siblings?" Kinsey asked, curious if maybe being so much younger than her siblings helped them have a better relationship or if it hurt it. "I didn't realize you had so many, or that they were all so much older than you." Kinsey wasn't trying to be rude or mean at all, she was honestly letting her Ravenclaw curiosity take the reins at the moment.

@priscilla

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Kinsey asked then if she was close with any of her siblings, adding that she hadn't realized that she had so many siblings or that they were all so much older than she was.

The answer to Kinsey's question, as Priscilla saw it, wasn't a flat-out "no", but it was, perhaps, more… complicated. The way her family was, their relationships with one another were built upon love and affection less than they were built upon utility. There wasn't a total absence of love, but their love for their family was tied, first and and foremost, to the name. They had reason to be proud; they were the Rosiers, one of the few of those famed "Sacred Twenty-Eight" families that hadn't sullied their bloodlines in nearly a century.

As much as Priscilla made fun of families such as the Weasleys for how many descendants they had, her own family would have to follow a similar trend. Otherwise, the purity of their blood would die with her generation. People had married Muggles because they had no other option, she had always presumed.

"It's much easier," Priscilla explained after some thought and a little shrug, "now that I'm older." She spent time around her siblings more than she had once done now that she was truly capable of engaging with the Dark Arts, though being at Hogwarts kept her from being able to do as much as she would have liked. (She had no reason to divulge that aspect of it to Kinsey, but it was what it was.) "I couldn't really relate to them much before." Regardless, she was "respectable" now, in their eyes—especially now that she was betrothed to Riley. Her siblings couldn't exactly see her as a little girl, could they? She was practically a woman.

@kinsey

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Priscilla explained that it was much easier now that she was older. Kinsey supposed that made sense, especially when she went on to say that she could relate with her siblings now. The opposite was turning out to be true for Kinsey. The older she grew, the more arguments she got into with her siblings and the more serious they became. The more she ended up losing her siblings. The only ones she felt like she had any connection to now were the younger ones and she was scared of losing them too. 

"Well, I'm glad you can relate with them now," she said, wincing slightly at how awkward that sounded. This was why she hadn't ever searched out Riley's fiance. She didn't want to try and force a conversation with the girl. At least this one was to a point where Kinsey could graciously bow out ... or just leave. 

She yawned, covering it with a hand and then shaking her head apologetically, "I'm sorry. I should go to bed now," she said, rising to her feet and gathering her things, making sure to take her book with her. "It was nice talking to you." Huh, more like sickening to have to converse with the girl now engaged to Riley. She couldn't think about that now though. "Bye," Kinsey added as she made her way toward the stairs that led to her dormitory. 

@priscilla (you wanna end? Haha sorry, Kinsey was done)