A Hope for all the Hopeless | OPEN

[Deleted]

The first Quidditch match of the season. The first Quidditch match in which Sav was the captain of the team. He had been planning all summer for this match. He and the team had worked so hard for today. Many late nights had been had on the pitch. Many rainy practices had weighed them down. But today came… and they lost… dramatically. His chasers had a good showing, gaining them 7 goals. However, his keeper had an off day and the Hufflepuff chasers were on their game. He had to hand it to them, they played a great game.

But that didn’t mean the Gryffindor captain, the boy who had dreamed of playing professionally for his whole life, wasn’t crushed with the loss of the first match he was in charge of.

Sav waited for the pitch to clear after the game before leaving the locker room. He hadn’t said anything to his team. He hadn’t said anything to anyone. But, on that drizzly, Autumnal day, Sav ventured out into the stands of the pitch once everyone else was back in the castle. He had changed out of his Quidditch robes and they sat with his broom in the locker room below. The tall man sat on the stands in the first row, looking down at that pitch below. The sky was grey and the air was moist. He pulled the hood of his hoodie over his head. He just sort of felt like sulking while he contemplated whether there was any chance he’d get scouted after today’s showing.

[parvati patil macmillan]

Gryffindor had lost their first match of the Quidditch season to Hufflepuff by a considerable margin. In truth, it was more accurate to say that Hufflepuff had won by so many points that the score alone would make one question if the Gryffindor team had shown up for the match at all. They had, however, come to play, and Parvati knew that the students had put in the effort to ensure that they would do well out on the pitch. It had been painful, she had to admit, to watch her own House's defeat, especially with one of her own children as the team's captain.

As the crowds had dispersed from the stands that surrounded the Quidditch pitch and everyone had returned back to the castle, the difference in the mood between the Hufflepuffs and the Gryffindors was evident. Parvati had waited a while to see when Savtaj would return to the Gryffindor Common Room, but time passed and his teammates returned without him.

From what they knew, he was still at the Quidditch pitch, so that was where Parvati went, knowing that she would likely see him on her way there if he was returning to the castle. Despite the drizzle of rain, Parvati kept walking until she reached the Quidditch pitch.

Receiving no response or indication that Sav was still in the changing room, she went back out to see if perhaps she had only just missed him. It was only when she glanced up at the stands that she noticed that a lone figure was seated there. Even with the hood of his sweatshirt drawn, she knew that it was Sav.

Without a word, Parvati climbed carefully up and over to where her son sat. She drew her lips into a line that hinted at a smile as she reached him; she could only imagine how badly it hurt him to have lost that match. Not that she and Ernie had ever spoiled him or his twin brother, but Sav wasn't used to losing. He put in hard work—at least when it came to Quidditch—and it showed.

"I'm proud of you," she spoke to Sav, adjusting her robes and sitting down beside him even though the bench was damp from the rainfall. She had had her doubts about having her own son as Quidditch Captain, but those had subsided. His dedication to the sport was significant. (How many times had she heard that Gryffindor was out practicing again, regardless of the weather?) What was more, it lit a spark in him like little else could. "You should come in before you catch a cold," she commented softly, turning her head in Sav's direction.

@sav

[Deleted]

Sav heard footsteps but didn’t really look up. He wasn’t sure he was in much of a mood to talk to anyone. He kind of wanted to just be alone and ponder what the next steps were for the team before he had to see most of them again in the common room. He dreaded walking into the common room. He didn’t want to hear the silence when he did so. Realistically, he knew that people wouldn’t blame him, the Hufflepuff team was just really strong, and they had a lot of luck. But his team was strong as well, and he was excited to be able to show that.

When he heard the voice, he sighed. His mom was just about the last person he wanted to talk to right now. She said she was proud of him and while it was always nice to hear that, as that was what he strived for most of the time, he didn’t really want to have any sort of conversation with her, or maybe with anyone, right now. “I’m find mom.” he insisted when she suggested they go inside. Sav didn’t get sick. He was invincible. At least in his mind.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

Sav's first response to her presence was to sigh—not that Parvati expected anything less. He was fine, he countered her; he didn’t need to go inside. Still, as his mother, Parvati felt, it was her job to worry about him. And she was worried, seeing how dejected he looked, because that wasn’t like him. Sav wasn’t the type of kid to let much get him down. He was outgoing and friendly—and maybe even mischievous, on occasion. Besides that, though, he cared deeply, and Quidditch was his “thing”, his passion. The loss had hurt him more than he—being the teenager that he was—was willing to admit to her.

“I know. I know,” Parvati laughed lovingly in reply. For what it was worth, he could just go to the Hospital Wing if he did fall ill, but the idea was that hopefully, it wouldn’t get to that point. Sav was seventeen and could handle himself, for the most part, stubborn though he was. “Your mum’s an embarrassment.” It was better that she said it—rather than hearing him say it—though Parvati hoped that her sons would miss her little reminders once they were on their own.

The dreariness of the day seemed to do nothing but amplify the sting. Parvati looked out at the pitch, too, and sat there for a moment in thought. It was the kind of weather that she truly disliked—cold, with no hint of sunshine in sight. Sitting in the stands and taking in the vastness of the empty pitch was also enough to make Parvati feel quite small. “It’s my job,” she added after a pause, “to worry about you and your brother.”

She worried about her sons in more ways than they knew. It wasn't because she didn't have faith in them, but because the world was returning to how it had been when she was around their age.

@sav

[Deleted]

“I never said you were an embarrassment.” Sav said with a sigh. He hated when people put words in his mouth, and especially in this very vulnerable situation, he was fairly sure the last thing that he wanted was a lecture from his mother, or worse than that even, a pep talk. Sav had lost a match before, his the back of his mind, he knew it wasn’t the worst thing that could happen, and regardless of the other team being better, he had still done well. Most of his players had still done well. His keeper obviously had a bad day, but the Hufflepuff chasers had just been on top of their game. He had to hand it to them. They really stepped it up. “You’re not. That’s not at all what I meant.” maybe it was the job of teenagers to feel misunderstood, but one of the most important things in the world to Savtaj MacMillan was his mother being proud of him, the last thing he would do would be to insult her in anyway. She was his role model. She was his superhero.

“I know.” he promised when she said it was her job to worry about him and his brother. “But you don’t have to worry about me right now, I just wanted some time away from the crowds.” he told her. He didn’t want to tell his mom that he worried about her too. He did. Often. He wondered if she was okay. He knew how mad he was at his father, he could only imagine how mad she was at him. He had lied to her a lot longer than he had lied to Sav. “You don’t have to sit with me… I’ll come in in a bit...”

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

Sav sighed at her again. "I never said you were an embarrassment," he replied to her comment. Parvati realized that she probably should have left well enough alone. He was already upset over the Quidditch loss, and she didn't need to make it any worse for him. He emphasized the point even further, however, and Parvati suddenly understood. It wasn't that Sav was just being moody. No, he was genuinely hurt that she had suggested he'd think that. "You’re not," he hold her about her being an embarrassment. "That’s not at all what I meant."

Parvati, embarrassed with herself, shook her head. "I'm sorry, love. I…" She hadn't meant it like that, either. In her mind, of course she must have been an embarrassment to him. He was a teenage boy who occasionally focused on girls and sports more than the rest of his life at school, and she was his mother who happened to work there to put a cramp in his style. That Sav was so vehemently against the idea that he would view her as embarrassing was unexpected to Parvati, who found that tears were forming in her eyes because of it. Looking out to the pitch again, she blinked quickly in an attempt to keep Sav from seeing her reaction. "Thank you," she added barely above a whisper.

About its being her job to worry about her children, Sav answered that he knew. "But you don't have to worry about me right now," he reassured her. "I just wanted some time away from the crowds." It was hard enough as it was to find somewhere to be completely alone at Hogwarts, and he wasn't going to find that in the Gryffindor Common Room.

"You don’t have to sit with me…" he went on. (It wasn't that she had to, thought Parvati; she wanted to, but it was no matter. She understood if he did want to be alone.) "I’ll come in in a bit…"

Having regained her composure from before, Parvati looked in Sav's direction again. "If you're sure," she spoke in response before moving one way or the other. "No one in that common room is going to blame you for what happened out there."

@sav

[Deleted]

Sav didn’t reply to his mother's apologies, or to her thanking him for his words. He had meant them and there was no reason for her to need to thank him. She had given him life, of course he was going to feel the way that he did. He knew that his mom hadn’t come to look for him to lecture him about being out in the cold, or about having lost the match. He knew that she had come to check on him, it was just unfortunate that he was in a mood at the moment and was automatically misconstruing everything that she said. He knew, though, that she was trying to help and he didn’t want to say or do anything now in his anger that he would regret later.

“I know…” he admitted quietly when she told him that no one was going to blame him for the outcome of the match. It was the first match of the year, with a new team, and new players. They had to figure out their game and Sav knew, he really did, that the outcome didn’t reflect on him as a captain, or on the talent of his players. Overall, a vast variety of conditions went into the match. While he currently felt like it was on him, he knew that no professional team would judge him for the loss, he had still played nicely. He kept moral high during the match and did his best as their captain. “I just wanted to have a strong showing this year. I want to be seen.” he admitted. He did. He wanted teams to want him.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

"I know…"

Every team had a bad match every once in a while, and Parvati didn't have to be a Quidditch coach to know that much. There had been more than a few matches during her time at Hogwarts that had ended downright horribly. It had been a match of Gryffindor against Hufflepuff when Dementors had invaded the pitch in her third year, she suddenly recalled, thankful that that hadn't been the case with the match that Gryffindor and Hufflepuff had just played. From her position, a match that didn't involve the interference of Dark magic and from which Sav had come out unhurt was the most important thing. It was good, from that angle, that all that had happened was that Hufflepuff had played extraordinarily well in comparison to Gryffindor.

"I just wanted to have a strong showing this year. I want to be seen."

At Sav's admission to her that that was what this was about—his chances of making it professionally—Parvati scooted herself closer to him. "And you will be, Sav." She reached over to touch him on the shoulder. "You will be." He was too good not to catch the eye of at least one of the professional Quidditch teams in the league. "You're going to be out there playing Quidditch in the World Cup someday," she told him, "and some reporter from the Daily Prophet is going to ask me for my comments, and I'm going to say that I remember when you were just a little boy and you and your brother would play with your toy broomsticks in the garden…"

She laughed softly at the memory of it. They had been obsessed with those things. "I know that you're going to go far, Savtaj," she promised him. "Don't ever doubt that."

@sav

[Deleted]

He didn’t doubt it. Anything that his mother said he didn’t doubt. He knew that he was fine and he was a good captain and lead a good team. He had new members on his team this year. He had younger students who were from America and hadn't played in a real game of Quidditch before. He was giving them all opportunities and he didn’t regret one player on his team. He knew that he couldn’t win every game, even if he wanted to. And he really did want to. Sav wanted to be the best, he was a very ambitious young man and he strived for excellence on the pitch. Anything less was unacceptable. At least that was the ideal. Of course he knew how to accept loss, and he knew that there were undoubtedly other players taking the loss worse than he was whom needed him to put it in perspective for them. They knew their weaknesses now, they knew what to work on. And that was the best thing to come out of a loss: knowledge of how to improve. And obviously, it was his keeper who needed the most work.

“I know mum.” he said again, gently, not aggressively. He did know. With Sav’s ego it was hard not to know. He knew he was good. He had fans, even here at Hogwarts who told him he was good, even besides his own mother, who had to tell him that he was good even if he wasn’t. “I just need some time.” he decided. “To process it.” he added. He didn’t want to be rude, but he also didn’t want to continue talking about it, to his mom or anyone really. “I’m going to head back to the castle.” he decided. He didn’t think he’d actually make it back there. He didn’t want to end up in the common room until later tonight, maybe even after everyone went to sleep. “Thanks for staying, mum.” he said. Truly he was happy to have gotten to speak with her today. It helped calm him down.

parvati patil macmillan

[parvati patil macmillan]

Sav said that he knew that he was good; he just needed some time to process the loss, and Parvati was happy to give him that. Luckily, Sav would have enough time between this match and Gryffindor's next one to formulate and execute a plan for how they would need to strategize going forward. Parvati wasn't too worried for him there; she knew that he was clever and that he'd figure something out. The Gryffindor team wasn't a bunch of slackers; Parvati knew that much. They'd just had a rough match, and their next one was sure to be better.

"I'm going to head back to the castle," he told her, to which Parvati nodded her head. "Thanks for staying, Mum."

She was more than happy to have stayed. It was rare that she got that kind of time with either of her sons anymore. "You know I'll always be here for you," she reminded Sav, "whenever you need me." She leaned in to give him a hug before standing back up to make her way out of the stands again. "And you know where to find me if you need me back in the castle. I love you."

@sav
OOC: You can post again to wrap this up, or we can end here.

[Deleted]

Indeed, Sav knew where to find his mother if he ever needed her. It was rare, he would admit, that he would go and seek her out. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to his mom, he loved his mom, it was more that, when he had a problem, he rarely talked to anyone. That was how he handled his feelings. He didn’t keep them in and bottled up, he got them out, but his way of dealing with things was to go running, or to get on the pitch with his bat and a bludger. More often than not, he’d talk to Hugo. Hugo knew him too well, he knew the signs of Sav being upset and would ask him what was up. Sav would tell him, but likely, by that point, he’d have dealt with it on his own. Sav walked off the pitch, down the stairs and out to the lawns, which were indeed empty. He walked along, towards the castle, before he saw a figure sitting by the lake. Instead of finishing his way, he went towards the boy.

parvati patil macmillan

The End