what we think we know | ashley

[Deleted]

weaned on poison.

THOUGH DELILAH WAS INTERNALLY A VERY private person, as her mother had made sure to raise her, she valued the company of her 'friends'. Though she wasn't sure how she felt about the term at a faraway glance. Were they friends if she never truly told them what she thought? Well, yes most likely. Perhaps not a 'best' friend then. That seemed like a rather codependent term anyhow.

However, if Delilah were to pick out of all of her friends who she might like to die the least, it would be Ashley Fontaine. So quiet sometimes one thought she had disappeared in a crowd, but with a slant to her eyes that held Delilah's waning attention for more than a moment. She wasn't always truly present in their gaggle of girlhood, and that meant that Delilah had been forced to keep an eye on her. Over time, that eye softened a little bit.

So, when they both moved to Hogwarts, Delilah had been relieved. She liked to keep her things all in a neat little row. But, ever since they'd arrived Ashley was barely present. She flounced off often, never really telling anybody where she was going. It wasn't so much secretive as it was suspect. Delilah began seeking her out on purpose, if only to wonder why she was so preoccupied.

It had taken her a good thirty minutes to find Ashley on this particular day. Though Delilah had slipped in to an appearance of vacant dilly-dallying, her eyes were pealed. She found her friend in the courtyard, a head of dark hair drifting away from her with a fluttering wave as they parted ways.

"Who was that?" Delilah asked primly, having sneaked up on her friend until she was right at her shoulder, a book pressed against her chest. She turned her head, not quite able to smile but a slight quirk of the lips so that she could appear pleasantly curious. "He's a Hufflepuff boy, right?" And her brows rose delicately. "I heard he's a seventh year in a sixth year Potions class." At that her Southern accent softened the blow, an appearance of unintentional judgement falling over her bland expression. 

@ashley

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Ashley honestly couldn't be happier at the moment. She loved any time she got to spend with Eli Fleming. Today they just walked around and talked for a while, but that wasn't a problem for Ashley. Talking with Eli was always fascinating. He brought up things she didn't think of and always found ways to make her laugh. She couldn't remember how she'd made it through all those months without his friendship. A part of Ash was worried that she would do something again to push him away, but so far that hadn't happened. She thought maybe Eli was as wary of that happened as she was. 

They couldn't hang out all day, though. All too soon, she was waving as he walked away. Ashley was already thinking on what she should do next, trying to decide if she should do homework or just wait for a while. At least, she was thinking about it until she heard a familiar voice nearby. She laughed, turning to look at Delilah. She shrugged, about to answer when she asked if he was a Hufflepuff. "Yeah he's a Hufflepuff, came over with us from Ilvermorny. His name is Elijah Fleming." She frowned when Delilah started talking about Eli's academics. "He sits in sometimes, I think, but he's not actually in the class." At least that's what Ash understood from it. 

Shrugging, she decided to try and change the topic. "So how have you been? We haven't talked in a while." Mostly because Ashley was often busy doing things with Eli, but she didn't need to bring that up. 

@delilah

[Deleted]

weaned on poison.

IN REALITY, DELILAH KNEW VERY WELL WHO THE boy was. Elijah Fleming had always been a favoured target among their little group of girl friends. And Delilah never forgot a face. What surprised her most was just how often she was seeing her friend hanging around him. Was it some kind of joke she wasn't in on? She couldn't think of anything worse than being left out. Her suspicion was piqued.

"Oh!" She hiccuped, blinking rapidly as if it had only just occurred to her. "I didn't recognise him." Because it paid to play dumb sometimes, especially when she turned her head and found her friend frowning unhappily. What had she done now? Pouting out her bottom lip, Delilah shifted from foot to foot restlessly. "Please, don't snap at me," She asked with a downward stare, scuffing her polished black Mary Jane's in the hard-packed dirt. "I was only tellin' you what I was told."

Quickly, Delilah bounced back as she squared her shoulders back and lifted her chin. She didn't wish to make her friend feel too bad. After all, it was simply a piece of information. Delilah hadn't known Ashley would take such high offence. Or maybe she did, she wasn't too sure. "Not my fault," Delilah said primly, pursing her lips to one side as she lifted her brows at her friend. "I always look for you, but I never find you no more." She told Ashley, squinting as she did. "Have you replaced me already?" But she sidled close so that Ashley wouldn't think she was serious, pasting a sweet smile on her face. "What've you been doin' without me?" Namely, with goofy Elijah Fleming. 

@ashley

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Delilah said she didn't recognize Eli, looking like she felt bad when Ashley got a little annoyed. She sighed, "No it's fine. Sorry, I'm just tired." That wasn't quite it, but Ashley didn't know how to tell her friend that she was having a crush on Eli. The fact was, she didn't like telling her friends things like that. She loved talking with them about other things, but her feelings? No, feelings were things you kept to yourself. "You're fine," Ashley reiterated with a smile, trying to move on and let the subject go.

Ashley laughed when her friend declared that it wasn't her fault they hadn't talked in a while, that Ashley was always nowhere to be found. She shrugged, "Sorry, I'm not trying to hide from you, I promise." Ashley didn't hide from Delilah or Katherine or Bianca. Even though she wasn't spending as much time with them this year as she had in years past, she wasn't hiding. She was just spending time with Eli instead. She chuckled, shaking her head at Delilah's question. "Of course not. I couldn't replace you," Ashley told her, rolling her eyes at her friend. She bit her lip a little when Delilah asked what she'd been up to. Here it was. She wasn't trying to keep Eli a secret this time, but she hadn't actually come out and told her friends about him yet. "I've been doing things with Eli," she answered with a shrug. "We ran into one another a little before Thanksgiving and have kind of been getting to know one another since then." She left of last year and all that they did then, when no one thought to ask what Ashley did with her time, why she wasn't always around. She smiled, "What have you been up to without me?" Ashley hoped that returning the question would help things not get awkward between her and her friend. She was a little nervous to see Delilah's reaction to hearing about Eli, mostly because Ashley had no idea how he would react.

@delilah

[Deleted]

weaned on poison.

DELILAH WASN'T ENTIRELY CONVINCED THAT Ashley wasn't avoiding them a little bit. It felt, to her, like she was trying to keep the Fleming boy away from them. Delilah speculated if she was perhaps embarrassed of her new little friend. He was, academically speaking, an idiot - as far as she knew. And, Bianca and Kat had always had a distinct dislike for him. Delilah didn't care too much, but she did care about where it took Ashley. Specifically if it took Ashley away from her.

"Are you not sleepin' well?" Delilah asked, creasing her brow as she looked at Ashley deeply. She knew that in a lot of ways, Ashley liked to be cared for and for the most part, Delilah was happy to play the role if it kept her sweet. "You know I worry about you." Delilah had learned about Ashley's headaches some time ago and while her concern was skin deep, she said what fit her practised persona. And maybe she really cared, deep down. But, Delilah knew that Ashley was lying.

Ashley said exactly what Delilah wanted and she let her shoulders relax as she smiled for her benefit. "Well ain't that a relief," She told her friend, though she still deeply mistrusted Ashley knew friendship. It was a liability, as far as she was concerned. There was no guarantee that she could get Eli to like her, so he simply couldn't become a permanent fixture.

She frowned when Ashley revealed that she'd been speaking to him since Thanksgiving, much longer than she'd thought. "Oh, really?" She said flatly, pressing her books to her chest tightly. "Why haven't you brought him to our table?" She asked, playing dumb. "If you like him so much," She turned her face to blink idiotically at Ashley, "You like him, right?" She searched for something more in Ashley's carefully made-up face before adding. "If you like him we should meet him." Delilah felt a slight thrill as she imagined Bianca and Kat's reaction should she do just that.

"Oh..." Delilah dipped her head and scuffed her heel in the hard, frozen ground. "Nothin' much." She had actually been very busy, but it was important for her to look lonely as she tried to draw Ashley back towards her. "The group is all... mashed up because of the transfer." Pouting out hr bottom lip, Delilah sniffed once and shook her head. "I've made some friends, but none like y'all." And at that she shrugged and plastered a very large smile on her face. "It's fine, though!" She pretended to assure Ashley. "I'm fine." 

@ashley

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Delilah asked if she wasn't sleeping well and Ashley shook her head. "No, not really," she lied. She was mostly sleeping fine, but she didn't want to admit that. It was an easy way to get out of explaining why she'd been so snippy with Delilah before. Besides that, Delilah wasn't in her house so she couldn't prove that Ashley was lying. Kat and Bianca shared a different room too, since they were a year older. She smiled, "Thanks Delilah. I have a potion for tonight, so I should sleep better." That wasn't a lie. Since Eli gave her the feverfew last year, Ashley almost always had something she could take if she wasn't feeling well. No one knew that apart from Eli though.

Ashley smiled back, rolling her eyes, "It shouldn't be a surprise. You've been my best friend for how long now?" Honestly though, she felt like she was the closest with Delilah, out of everyone in their friend group. 

She noticed her friend's frown when she said how long she and Eli had been talking. Ashley shrugged at her question, "I mean, it's not that big of a deal. I help him with his studies a bit and we talk sometimes." Ashley smiled, acting like her relationship with Eli didn't mean so much more to her than that. She scoffed when Delilah asked why she hadn't brought him to their table. "Is that really a question?" Ashley said, giggling a little. "Katie and Bianca don't like him at all. What kind of a friend would I be to lead him there so they could tease him?" She thought for a second, "Besides, he probably wouldn't want to anyway. He eats with his own group of friend, not with me." She didn't want Eli anywhere near her other friends. She wasn't hiding her friendship with him, but that didn't mean she wanted to put him in an uncomfortable situation. She was just trying to explain herself to Delilah a bit. Delilah then started asking if Ashley liked him and she kept the smile on her face, shrugging a little again. She wouldn't even let herself think that she liked him, she wasn't going to admit her deepest secret to someone else. "Sure I like him. He's a good friend, he's nice and funny. What's not to like about someone like that?" She knew Delilah hadn't been asking that, but she decided to answer it innocently. 

The conversation shifted to Delilah and Ash's eyebrows furrowed in concern. Obviously, Delilah wasn't as happy as she normally was. Ashley took a step closer, touching the girl's shoulder to try and comfort her. With Eli this would have been easy, just hug him, but that wasn't ever the way their friend group worked, which was strange to her now. "Hey, I'm sorry. We can do more together, I definitely wasn't meaning to leave you out. What do you say we go on a walk this weekend?" She loved spending so much time with Eli, but he would understand that her friends needed her. She was certain.

@delilah

[Deleted]

weaned on poison.

IT WAS FAIRLY TYPICAL FOR ASHLEY TO HAVE A hard time sleeping, so Delilah didn't question it when Ashley agreed. She simply praised herself internally for picking an exact issue right out of the air. Like she was psychic or something. "I hope so." She pouted, uncrossing one arm to pat her friends arm in a gesture that was supposed to be comforting. "I liked it so much better when we were roomies." Now she shared a room with a bunch of wet blanket Hufflepuff's. And a few snored too. A few times she'd considered getting up and just suffocating them. But, she hadn't.

"Not long enough!" Delilah giggled, smacking Ashley's arm playfully. It had in fact been around five years. Since the second month of their first year. She had an exact date in an old diary, but settled on five in her mind. Though her attention was quickly stolen again by this mysterious Fleming boy. Delilah didn't like how hesitant Ashley was, her face neutral, but her insides sizzling as she wondered what it meant if Ashley continued to grow closer to him, and more distant from them. She'd have to consider all avenues.

"That's very charitable of you," Delilah said simply, pasting a beaming grin on her face, as if she was very impressed by Ashley's decision. "But, we're still your friends, too." She frowned at her friend, resisting the urge to stamp her foot as she peered at her, a question in her eyes. "They don't like him because they don't know him." She said slowly, though that wasn't necessarily the case. "It's not fair for you to have to keep everythin' so separate, you know." She turned it back on her friend expertly. "That can't be easy for you." She pressed a hand to her chest, a look of frowning concern on her face. "I just worry about the strain, you know?" She twisted her lips and sighed theatrically. "I don't want them to be mad if they think you're keeping secrets."

No matter that Ashley made very little vocally about the Fleming boy, Delilah had already come to a conclusion of her own. Ashely liked him, more than she was letting on. She went from downplaying their time together to calling him 'funny' and 'nice'. Too things that didn't impress her but softened her friend in a way that was very uncharacteristic. "You're avoiding the question." Delilah pretended to tease, a little smile on her face for effect. "But, I'll let you off this time." It was best not to push, in case Ashley really shut down. She simply appeared to elude to something, as if she already knew a little too much. Let that settle with Ashley first.

"No, no I- I didn't-" Delilah dropped her head, as if hiding the fact that she was upset while protesting lamely. She curled a lock of hair around one ear and made her smile wobble at the corners a little. "That'd be real nice." She said softly, her voice sounding a little hoarse, which was very impressive. She did something even more uncharacteristic and hugged her friend, burying her face in her shoulder for a moment before pulling back. "Don't tell Kat and Bianca I did that, please." She laughed, giving them something else to share secretly. "Gotta keep up my street cred." 

@ashley

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Ashley was definitely happy when Delilah accepted her answer about sleeping. Being honest about the whole thing definitely would have brought more questions than she wanted, so having her friend accept that answer was perfect. She smiled and nodded at Delilah's comment about missing being roommates. "Me too. It was a lot easier to see you around when we shared the same common room," Ash agreed. Now she was making new friends, like with Claudia, but she didn't really think Delilah would appreciate that too much. 

She laughed when Delilah commented that they hadn't been friends long enough, slapping Ash's arm. "Hey, hey! No need for violence here," she teased, grinning at her friend. This was one thing she missed about having Delilah around all the time. While Ash was decidedly not open about her true emotions and feelings, her friend had a gift for making Ashley laugh. 

Delilah started calling her charitable, mentioning that she was still friends with Katherine and Bianca and herself and Ashley rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm still friends with you guys. That's why I eat with you all and spend time outside of class with you too. I just ... have another friend too." She actually was starting to make quite a few friends that weren't in their "group," but Ashley didn't consider that a bad thing. Ashley nodded at her friend's other comments, thinking about them a little. "It's fine. I'd rather not make anyone uncomfortable, you know?" She also knew that it was highly unlikely Katherine and Bianca would give Eli the chance to get to like him and she wasn't going to put him through that just for her. She smiled when Delilah admitted she was just worried about Ash. "I'm fine, promise. And I'm not trying to keep it a secret or anything. I just know they don't like him, so I'm not pushing them together." Honestly, if Ash had to choose between Katherine, Bianca and Eli ... it wouldn't be a hard decision at all, though she was sure she wouldn't like the consequences. Still, Eli was worth it to her. 

The last thing she expected was for Delilah to say she was avoiding the question, even if it was in a teasing manner. Ash opened her mouth to argue the point, but Delilah cut her off, saying that she'd let Ashley off the hook. Ash closed her mouth, deciding she'd rather not argue the point. She didn't want to actually admit how much she liked Eli, especially since she was positive he didn't feel the same way about her. They were just friends. 

Delilah argued for a second, obviously about to say that she wasn't trying to make Ash feel bad or something like that. However, she smiled when Ashley suggested they spend some time together. Ashley smiled when she agreed, though she froze for a second when Delilah gave her a hug, before she hugged her back. This was definitely a first, but Ash didn't think it was a bad thing. After spending so much time with Eli, she was starting to like hugs. She chuckled at Delilah's request. "No problem. They don't have to know," she teased. Then she thought a moment, "Do you want to go to the kitchens or something? I'm not busy now if you're not ..." Of course if Delilah did have somewhere she had to be that was fine, but Ash was more than willing to spend some time with her good friend. 

@delilah

[Deleted]

weaned on poison.

DELILAH GIGGLED JUST LIKE SHE WAS SUPPOSED to do. Holding up both of the hand she'd used to slap Ashley innocently, before tucking them behind her, like the idea of violence was a joke and she'd never be the type to think such thoughts or inflict any kind of pain. I actuality, Delilah thought about it quite coldly. She was perfectly capable of a great many things, and it thrilled her that nobody noticed.

Though, Ashley explained her new friendships simply, Delilah was not convinced this time. She still spent time with them, sure, but there was a disconnect that hadn't been there before. It used to be rare that they were apart for very long, and Delilah had been quick to notice that that had changed. Ashley might claim that it was all fairly innocent and she wasn't hiding the Fleming boy from them, but Delilah thought she was lying. "I wouldn't be uncomfortable." Delilah said simply, though she didn't stress it much further than that.

Hugging Ashley had been a purely tactical move. Delilah wasn't terribly fond of flippant physical contact. The idea of a sweaty palm in hers, or a restricting arm around her shoulders often made her cringe, but she needed to feel close to her friend. That they had something between them that was decidedly absent with Katie and Bianca. If only to create an independent connection with her friend. If Ashley decided to leave Katie and Bianca behind, Delilah needed to make sure she wasn't cut along the way.

"The kitchen..?" Delilah echoed, and though her expression was blank her mind recoiled in disgust. Why would she want to spend time that cramped space with smelly house-elves and grease? After a moment she broke in to a grin and nodded her head. "Oh, I'd just adore that!" She said merrily, hooking her arm in Ashley's and leading them towards the school's front doors once again. "I'm never too busy for you, Ash." Delilah preened, looking up at her friend with that patented dopey expression. 

@ashley
we could potentially end this here? do something else sometime soon?

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[Deleted]

Delilah insisted that she wouldn't be uncomfortable and Ashley nodded. "Then I should introduce the two of you sometime," she agreed with a smile. Ash tried to ignore the nerves that rose within her at the thought. Sure, she was certain that Delilah would be nice to Eli, she was a nice girl, she just hadn't tried to get him to talk to any of her friends. She didn't know what he would think of it. Then again, she thought he'd be willing if she asked him. Maybe. 

Ashley waited for a moment as her friend contemplated the idea of the two of them heading down to the kitchen. She couldn't tell if Delilah liked the idea or not, so she didn't say anything. Ashley went there often. Mostly because they had ice cream there, but also because the kitchen was where Joe cooked for her and she loved his foods. She smiled when Delilah agreed. "Perfect! Let me show you where it is," she said, following her friend's lead for the time being. "I'm not too busy for you either, Delilah. You're one of my longest friends." Which was why Ashley appreciated her so much. Delilah was one person who she could trust, someone who sought her out and wanted to know about her. 

--- the end ---

@delilah