Time Cannot Erase (Albus)

[Deleted]

Exhaustion seemed to be Anna's new way of life. She had a hard time sleeping ever since coming back from her trip to Paris, searching for her husband. She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat unless Lucy really made her. She didn't want to be a burden to her sister, but she also didn't want to do anything. People told her that grieving was natural and that she needed to let herself feel, but it felt like it was sucking the life out of her. Anna missed Oscar so much it was still hard to breathe when she thought of him. She couldn't sleep without seeing him in her nightmares, which mostly consisted of different situations of what might have happened to him. She would never know. 

However, at the moment her sister wasn't at home. She had to go out for work or food or something and Anna wanted to get out of her bed. She didn't want food or really want to do anything, so she grabbed her wand, pillow, and blanket and padded out to the couch, making herself comfy as she sat there. She needed to get up again, to start doing things, but nothing sounded good to her. So she found herself sitting in her winter pajamas on the couch, glancing around the room to try and find distractions, but finding none. Her mind wandered.

She didn't want to go back to auror training, she hadn't even told them why she wasn't showing up now. Maybe they would fire her. Anna found she didn't really care. She was planning on quitting anyway, though she always meant to do it on good terms somehow. 

Someone rang the doorbell and Anna almost asked Lucy to get it before remembering her sister wasn't there at the moment. She waved her wand, unlocking the door without even caring who it was. If they were here for Lucy, they'd leave when they realized she wasn't here. If they were here for Anna, well they'd find her, and if they were unfriendly they might as well take her. She didn't care anymore. 

Albus Severus Potter

[Albus Severus Potter]

don't speak too soon.

ANNA HADN'T BEEN TURNING UP FOR TRAINING and people were starting to talk. He hadn't said anything, because it was really none of his business, but it hadn't gotten past a few people that they were cousins and 'shouldn't he know where she'd disappeared to?'. He thought that was ridiculous, but he had known why she'd initially left. Her husband was another who'd disappeared mysteriously. He'd been giving her space, but it wasn't working any more.

Arriving at her flat after work, Albus debated on whether or not to knock for a good minute or two. Lingering in front of the door, his coat tugged around him as he shivered in the chilly air. If she'd wanted him to visit, she'd have asked, right? Eventually, he stiffened his spine and rattled his knuckles on the door impatiently. "Anna?!" He called through the wood. "Answer, please..." He was close enough that his nose brushed against the brass knocker and he squinted uncomfortably. "It's freezing!" 

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[Deleted]

Anna sat waiting on the couch for whoever it was to enter, but they didn't. What, did they not notice the lock click? Or did they not take that as an invitation to enter? Obviously it wasn't Lucy or Irina. Either of them would have come in without question. Granted, Lucy did have her own key. She wouldn't have needed to wait for Anna to unlock the door anyways. She lifted her wand, about to open the door without getting up when she heard the familiar voice on the other side, calling to her. Albus?

With a flick of her wrist, the door swung over. "Come in!" Anna called, still not wanting to get up from where she was on the couch. "I'm in here, Albus." She was a little surprised that he was visiting, but pleased at the same time. He'd probably noticed when she hadn't come back after her leave of absence. She hadn't explained to anyone what was going. 

A rush of cold air entered the apartment and Anna shivered, curling up more in her blanket as she waited for Albus to come in and close the door. 

Albus Severus Potter

[Albus Severus Potter]

don't speak too soon.

THE FRONT DOOR SWUNG OPEN AND BATTERED against the rubber stopper behind it. It bounced back slightly, and Albus caught it with his open palm, eyes widening as he peered in to the hallway. Anna's voice called out to him from within and he stepped inside hesitantly and closed the door behind him. He hadn't expected such an abrupt greeting and his concern climbed. She wasn't usually so blunt, at the very least the door opened a little softer. He made his way down the hallway with a little trepidation.

In the living room, Albus almost missed her at first. She was curled in to a very small ball on the sofa. His eyes moved past her before flickering back. Under a knot of red hair, her pale face peered over the back of the sofa at him. His frown deepened. "Are you sick...?" He asked instinctively, crossing the room to hover by the end. She didn't look much better close up. His Adam's apple bobbed and he secretly questioned coming at all. He couldn't afford to get sick mid-way through training.

"You... look awful." He blurted, shaking his head and slowly rounding the sofa's arm to perch near the end, his body turned to face her. He felt odd intruding on her home without invitation, but he had been worried about her. And for good reason, by the way she looked. "I was- everyone's worried about you," He stuttered, scratching at the beginnings of scruff under his neck. "You haven't been to training for a while." He didn't normally open a line of questioning like this, but he couldn't help himself. Albus was very good at respecting peoples privacy - he valued his own too much. But, she just didn't look right. 

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[Deleted]

Albus took his good old time coming inside. At least, that's what it seemed like. Anna couldn't even hear when he stepped in and closed the door. The only difference she did notice was that the cold draft stopped. She watched as he turned the corner and entered the living room, smiling just a little at the sight of him. When they were in school, she and Albus weren't very close, but since they'd been in the Auror training program together for the past several months a different kind of bond had developed. She was glad to see him. 

As usual, he wasn't in a super cheerful mood, looking very concerned when their eyes met. His first question was if she was sick. Anna shook her head, "No, I'm not sick. Not in a contagious way, anyway." She might as well reassure him while she could. That way he wouldn't be too nervous about approaching her.

Anna chuckled softly when Albus said she looked awful. "Well, I'm not too surprised about that. I feel pretty terrible." She met his eyes, cocking her head to the side a little. "You can sit closer if you want. I won't get you sick. I promise." Her problem had nothing to do with viruses or bacteria, and everything to do with the heart. Her eyes dropped and Anna started playing with her blanket when he continued. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make anyone worry." Honestly, she hadn't thought about training for a while. "I ..." she took a deep breath before looking up at Albus again. "Oscar's been missing. Since November. I took a few day's absence and Lucy and I went to Paris to search for him." Anna bit her lip as the emotions threatened to overwhelm her again. "We found his camp ... and his wedding ring." She stopped talking. Surely Albus could see where this was going. She'd had an emotional breakdown. Basically, at the moment Anna wasn't really good for anything. 

Albus Severus Potter

[Albus Severus Potter]

don't speak too soon.

IT WAS A LITTLE BIT SAD, BUT ALBUS FELT A wash of relief when Anna insisted she wasn't sick. Though, it only served to confuse him further. He didn't know what that meant, but his mind immediately wondered if she had some kind of debilitating disease. Surely, something like that would have made its way around the family before he'd found himself at her door. But, then again, he already had a hard time keeping up. He wasn't exactly tuned in to the family newsletter.

Shifting slightly, he pulled himself more fully on the sofa. At the very least, he aimed to make her fell uncomfortable - unlike himself. "I don't... understand." He muttered, but when he turned his head Anna seemed already intent on speaking, he pressed his lips together tightly. And Albus felt himself tense as she told him just what seemed to be plaguing her. Oscar had been Anna's husband and while he didn't know him personally, he'd been at the wedding. They had been happy, or so he thought. To hear that he'd gone missing made him realise a great many things. Especially why she looked the way she did.

"I-" Albus looked down at his lap, knowing how it felt to lose somebody like that. It was like picking at the scab of an old wound, the scenario eerily similar. He'd told himself his father was gone for good and yet his jaw ached when he finally lifted his head. "I don't know what to say," He admitted, feeling at a loss. He hated feeling like that, it was half the reason he buried his grief after Harry disappeared. He couldn't function, and train and mourn all at once. "What can I do?" He asked firmly, knowing that the only real way to convey his support was by action. 

@annelise

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[Deleted]

At her words, Albus seemed to feel a little bit more comfortable, which Anna was glad about. She didn't want him to think she was doing terribly, even though she definitely didn't feel her best. She missed Oscar. When she paused a moment before starting her story, Albus admitted that he didn't understand. That wasn't a surprise to Anna. She wasn't doing a good job explaining herself or what was going on. If the situations were switched, she knew she'd feel confused too. That wasn't her goal though. 

Albus was silent as Anna explained what happened. She didn't know what he thought about it all because she couldn't look up at him. She didn't want to see the pity in his eyes. While she knew that her friends and family were all trying to help her and comfort her, she hated that look. She hated that most of them agreed with her, that the likelihood of Oscar coming back was almost entirely gone.

Eventually she did look up to him. To her surprised, Albus looked the way she felt. Then it hit her. Uncle Harry. Albus, more than anyone else she'd talked to thus far, actually understood what she was going through. His father was missing and while he was also presumed dead, there was no evidence of that. Just like Oscar. She shrugged when he said that he didn't know what to say. "Me neither," she admitted. "I was really bad for a while there. Wouldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Ariadne was here almost constantly, trying to help me, but I didn't really want it, you know?" Anna forced a small smile. "I think I'm past the worst of it, but I still feel like a part of me is missing." She sighed, blinking rapidly to keep herself from crying. Ugh, she hated feeling weak like this. 

Albus asked what he could do and Anna paused, thinking. "Help me think of something else?" she asked. Most of the time when people came over to talk with her, they tried to convince her that Oscar was still out there, that he'd come back. It was nice to know they were trying to support her, but her mind thought those things repeatedly throughout the day. She never stopped worrying and wondering where Oscar was, what could be keeping him from her if he was still alive. Maybe Albus could give her a break from that somehow. She didn't know how to do it.

Albus Severus Potter

[Albus Severus Potter]

don't speak too soon.

IT LOOKED LIKE ANNA MIGHT CRY AND ALBUS felt himself tense at the prospect of it. He didn't know how to comfort her properly. Part of him wished Ariadne was there too, just so she could handle the delicate process of grief. He hadn't been the type to cry, or grieve at home when his father had disappeared. Instead, he'd thrown himself in to work and never really thought about it again. But, now it meant that he could only talk about his absence while absolutely sloshed, which wasn't any better, he thought.

"That makes sense," He muttered, his jaw flexing as he ground his teeth slightly. Albus already felt stupid, devoid of anything meaningful to say and watching Anna bravely hold herself together. He was a typical pragmatist and so he didn't try to tell her that Oscar was out there somewhere, instead he sat back slightly and did as she asked. He tried to distract her. 

"You know, training isn't the same without you." He said conversationally, crossing his arms and smiling thinly. "I mean, I'm edging you out of top spot, obviously." He teased her, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "But, you missed Felix eating mat." Tutting slightly, he stopped and lifted a hand to his face to hide a slight laugh. "Oh, Deborah apparated and lost a toe." He tilted his head back on to the headrest of the sofa, laughing mutely as he looked over at Anna. "She threw a whole tantrum about it."

@annelise

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Anna felt a little guilty when she noticed the uncomfortable look on Albus' face. She shouldn't be surprised to see it, but she really just wasn't paying attention. She'd been so caught up in herself lately and what she lost when she lost Oscar, she didn't really pay much attention to the people around her. Most of them came to her because they knew what happened. Obviously Albus wasn't one of those and she realized that she didn't like the fact that he was getting tense now. The two of them hadn't always been close, but going to Auror training together made their relationship a little different than before. 

She nodded when he said that it made sense, putting on a smile and trying to really let him distract her from her thoughts. Anna knew she couldn't go through the rest of her life worrying about Oscar. She needed to let others help her move on. She smiled as Albus started teasing her about losing her top spot, rolling her eyes. "Watch me come back and steal it away from you," she retorted back. Yeah, she didn't see that happening, but that didn't mean she couldn't joke about it. She lifted her hand to cover her mouth as Albus started telling her more things that happened. Okay, so she'd never expected this, but he was better at distracting her than she thought. "She threw a tantrum there in front of everyone? How are the rest of the duels going?" Dueling one another was part of the process of training. It used to my one of Anna's favorite parts, seeing what she could do when put up against someone else. Her head tilted to the side a little, suddenly curious. "What's your favorite part of training?"

Albus Severus Potter

[Albus Severus Potter]

don't speak too soon.

THOUGH ON ANY OTHER DAY ALBUS MIGHT HAVE been rankled by the thought of someone stealing his top spot, he didn't hate seeing the challenge in Anna's face. It was better than the crumpled expression of grief. Or the blankness that came afterwards. So, he leaned in to it with an ease he did not have naturally. His brows lifting and his mouth curving. "Oh yeah?" He said, a laugh in his eyes and he crossed his arms confidently. "Prove it." Because anything was better than wasting away at home.

Albus relaxed all the more as they discussed training. It was perhaps one of the few subjects he felt entirely confident in. "Yeah," He snorted, rolling his eyes with a shake of his head. "Said something about suing if the healers couldn't fix it." Of course, something as odd and inconsequential as a single toe was nothing for a skilled healer, thought Albus. Though, it had taken quite some time to grow to full length, or so he'd heard. "Duels are good," He said, nodding his head as he sat forward. "Probably favourite part, but you already know that." He gave a look, recalling one too many times when they'd been pitted against one and other. Equals in precision.

"What about you?" He asked, and there was a soft imploring to his expression. "Do you miss it?" Because her absence had been notable, but perhaps she had felt relief. Auror training was gruelling and only a few made it all the way through. "Maybe it'd be... a distraction." His nostrils flared and he looked down, afraid he'd insulted her by insinuating that she needed one to begin with. "It definitely distracts me." Because his father had gone missing, and his mother had lost her memories. And his little sister was a werewolf. He had a lot he wanted to forget. 

@annelise

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[Deleted]

Albus told her to prove that she could take the top spot from him and Anna rolled her eyes. "Are you sure you want me to do that?" she teased. "Then you'll be stuck second-best." Anna chuckled softly, really appreciating that Albus came to talk to her and lift her spirits a bit.

She smiled, shaking her head when Albus continued to explain about Deborah. "She always was a hothead. Is she staying in training?" There were some people that Anna didn't expect to make it to the end of Auror training and Deborah was one of those, though Anna hadn't shared her thoughts with anyone else, even Albus. "Is anyone making you try in the duels?" Anna asked, remembering the times when they'd been assigned to duel one another. She'd always enjoyed the chance to duel with him because Al was good enough she could really try with it. 

Then Albus was asking about her and Anna's eyebrows furrowed as she thought of how to answer his question. She wanted to be totally honest. "Yes ... and no," Anna answered slowly. "I loved learning how to be an auror. I loved the duels and the training. I miss seeing you all the time," she offered a sad smile, "I just feel broken. I'm not sure if I want people to see me like this, you know?" Anna had a reputation, being the winner of the Triwizard Tournament. People expected her to be composed and in control, always. Seeing her this broken. "I'm not sure how good I would be able to keep my composure. You know?" If anyone could actually understand, Al could. He'd gone through a lot lately. Maybe he had a point though. Maybe using training as a distraction would help. 

Albus Severus Potter

[Albus Severus Potter]

don't speak too soon.

WITH A SLIGHT LAUGH AT THE FAMILIAR DARING in Anna's tone, Albus shrugged his shoulders. "I like the challenge," He admitted, which was entirely true. She offered him a certain difficulty that he otherwise felt a lack of. Though his training was by no means 'easy' he still preferred the bite of a fight. Especially when it came to being the best. Anna was a worthy opponent. And his superiority told him there weren't many of those in his current squadron.

Albus wasn't sure whether or not the injured recruit would stay. Trainee's had left for less. "I kind of hope not," Albus said with a slight smirk, shooting her a knowing expression. The same kind of look they shared across the training room floor, right before they had to spell each other on to the ground. "She's a right pain in the arse." In his experience, it was the recruits who complained the least that lasted the longest. But, Auror training was so difficult that almost a half their squadron were expected to leave before any of them even qualified.

"Not really," He muttered, twisting his lips as he recalled the last session in which he'd been so bored that he'd considered leaving early. Of course, that would come with a severe punishment from the trainer, but anything was better than the squealing complaints as they worked on their physical training. There was Kaitlynn, of course. But, he felt himself going easy on her sometimes. And they tended to be split up, anyway.

Nodding his head, he hoped that Anna would agree to come back. But, even he knew it might take more than simply asking. He know understood that this would be harder for her than he'd thought. "I get it." Albus would hate to show weakness in front of his fellow trainees. It would be worse than losing a duel, and he knew how that stung. "Well, then don't come back." He shook his head, managing a slight sympathetic curl of his lips as he looked at her. "Not until your ready." It would mean not having her support on the floor, but he would manage. "I'll be fine." 

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Anna smiled at Albus calling her a challenge. In all honesty, she agreed. He didn't try to take easy way outs when it came to dueling. He made her try harder and think quicker. It was easier to learn when she dueled with her cousin. "I'm not surprised at all," she told her cousin with a smile. Albus wasn't the type of person to sit around. He liked to be getting better constantly. It was one of the things she admired about him. 

Albus' honesty in regards to the injured girl wasn't really a surprise. Anna nodded her head in agreement. "I know. She can be so annoying." Her nose wrinkled as she thought of the girl. She was almost always complaining and whining about something, and she'd definitely been one of the recruits Anna hoped would leave. Then again, wasn't Anna considering leaving as well? Still, she felt like it would be more of a loss for her to leave than the girl who was always complaining. "Yeah, one thing I don't miss about training is listening to her whine," Anna admitted with a small smile. 

She frowned when she saw the look that crossed Albus' face at her question. "I'm sorry," Anna wasn't pitying him, and she hoped he didn't think she was, but there was a part of her that wished she could be there. Even when she'd been worried sick about Oscar's disappearance, Auror training did give her something else to think about. Part of her wished she could just go back, but she needed to compose herself first. 

Anna felt like she would burst with how understanding Albus was being. She wanted ... she didn't know what she wanted. Talking with him made her want to be an auror again. It made her want to go out there and fight the evil in the world, almost like she were avenging Oscar. She nodded when he told her to not come back until he was ready. "I know you will," she answered softly, "and I do want to come back, I just-" Anna looked away from her cousin, down to her lap. "I broke the other weak. I lost all desire for anything and everything. I couldn't eat or sleep or walk and I ... I guess I need to learn how to be myself again." She offered a hesitant, weak smile. "I'm doing a lot better now, but for a while there ..." she trailed off. Anna didn't know who Albus talked to about her missing time. If he'd spoken to Ariadne or Lucy, maybe he knew about her condition and the severity of it, but she didn't think he had. "I want to come back though. I do." Now that Oscar was gone, she wanted to fight for him, and everyone else that might need it. 

Albus Severus Potter

[Albus Severus Potter]

don't speak too soon.

SHAKING HIS HEAD, AL SCRUNCHED HIS FACE and shrugged. It wasn't Anna's fault that she wasn't there to keep him busy. Albus didn't need her to help him be a better auror, he reminded himself of that constantly. But, he missed her and he didn't want her to be sorry about that. Nor, did he have the guts to properly tell her as much, so he waved her off completely.

"You've got shit to deal with," He told her as if she didn't already know. "I'm tougher than I look." It wouldn't stop Albus from being the best auror he could be. It was strange, but when he finally realised that, he discovered why he was so eager for Anna to come back. It wasn't her exceptional skills or the way she pushed him. It was the company. Some days, Albus didn't even feel like he belonged in the auror training program. That his name fit more than he did as a person. But, he'd never told anyone that. Not even Rosie. And there Anna was, confiding in him.

Albus crossed his arms and gripped his elbows as Anna spoke. The raw truth in her words making him swallow convulsively. He didn't know what to say to make her feel better. Didn't know how he could make it better. Albus had always been quiet, a bit introverted, but he'd never really been depressed before. Apart how low he'd felt after his dad had disappeared, he had nothing to compare it to. So, he shifted on the sofa and threw his feet over one side, patting the cushion beside him.

"Guess I'll just stick around for a bit since I'm already here." He said, perhaps a bit too loudly. "You get any Muggle TV?" He mused, squinting at the great big machine sitting on the opposite wall. "Nothing sappy, though." He warned her, rubbing his hand across the back of his nose. "I don't want you to cry or nothing." Albus grinned at her ruefully and knocked her shoulder with his. He couldn't take away the pain he felt, but he could offer his company. That, at least, was free.

[END?]

@annelise  
i let this die, i'm sorry, but i figured we could end it here and potentially do something more current down the line? esp now that harry is back!

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