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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 23, 2019 20:36:35 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 23, 2019 20:36:35 GMT -7
Kinsey laughed softly when Riley teased her. She was so happy that the two of them were now joking around with one another, that he could relax at least that much. She hated seeing him so stressed all the time. "I could never put your toes at risk," she teased him right back. She was smiling up at him when she saw Riley grow suddenly serious, his smile falling as he looked at something behind her. She turned just enough to see Lydia walking their way. Did she see them? Did she recognize Riley and Kinsey? Kinsey tensed too, suddenly realizing that she was not ready for her time with him tonight to be over already. She glanced around and, noticing that they weren't too far away from the main doors, she took Riley's hands and tried to tug him toward the doors. "Come with me," she suggested, trying to force a smile. "Please." Of course, she wouldn't force him, but she didn't want to be done yet. She wanted to spend more of her night with the man of her dreams. @riley
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 23, 2019 20:43:51 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 23, 2019 20:43:51 GMT -7
Kinsey turned around and noticed Lydia too and then she turned back to him, asking him for something that he wanted more than anything to be able to give her. She asked him to come with her. She took his hands and began to lead him towards the doors and he glanced back behind him again, his sister still on her way across the great hall. “Yeah.” Riley nodded. As suspicious as it looked that he was leaving the dance with a girl besides the one he was engaged to, he’d follow Kinsey anywhere that she asked him to. Even with everything between them, she was his everything. He allowed her to led him out, not sure where exactly she was taking him. There were students almost everywhere, talking and making out, and even a few fighting or crying. Parties were filled with drama, weren’t they?
@kinsey
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 23, 2019 21:14:03 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 23, 2019 21:14:03 GMT -7
Riley came with her. In all honesty, it shouldn't have surprised Kinsey that he did. She knew he cared about her just as much as she cared for him, but she still felt unsure. She didn't know what was between them anymore. Rather, she knew nothing should be between them anymore. In a week, he'd be at his engagement party and she'd ... likely be hanging around with Toby somewhere, crying. She didn't want to think about that right now though. Her smile became more real when Riley nodded and agreed to go with her. Her eyes widened when she saw how many people weren't inside the party. People talking, fighting, making out. It was almost overwhelming, but Riley's hands were still in hers, so Kinsey was fine. She looked around, trying to find somewhere they could be alone. Heck, she didn't even know what she was doing! She only asked him to leave with her because she didn't want Lydia to make Riley leave her. She hesitated a moment before pulling him toward a small room that she didn't think many people paid attention to. There were still lots of people in the corridors, but when she opened the door to the room, no one was inside. She looked back to Riley and shrugged, a hesitant smile visible as they stood outside the room. Would he want to go in with her, to have some privacy? Kinsey wasn't entirely certain. She gave a half-laugh, "I don't know what I'm doing, I just wanted to be able to spend a little more time with you ..." Kinsey trailed off, hoping he'd understand. @riley
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 23, 2019 21:25:06 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 23, 2019 21:25:06 GMT -7
A ways into letting her take the lead on where they were going, he began to wonder if she had any idea at all where she was taking him. He kind of assumed that they would go outside, but when they walked past the main doors in the entrance hall, he decided not to question it and just to see. She lead him into a small, empty room that he wasn’t sure he had ever been in before and then admitted that she didn’t know what she was doing, but she just wanted to spend some more time with him. “I understand.” he told her. He absolutely didn’t hate being alone in a room with her, he loved the privacy, and he loved the company. But he couldn’t shake the thought out of his mind that there might not be many more opportunities for them to do something like this. In just a few months now, he’d be a married man, with a wife and a career, and probably a family on the way before too long… the thought sent shivers down his spine. “I’m sorry we have to hide.” he whispered.
@kinsey
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 23, 2019 21:33:51 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 23, 2019 21:33:51 GMT -7
Kinsey felt herself relax slightly when Riley told her that he understood. Good. She hadn't lost that part of him yet, though she knew the day was soon coming when she would. She smiled and moved into the room behind him, closing the door after her. She paused for a moment, not looking at him yet. She wasn't sure what to do now. Yes, she got him away from Lydia (and likely Priscilla too), but now what? They could spend time talking or dancing, even though there was no music here. She didn't have a plan though, which made her a little nervous. When he spoke, apologizing, Kinsey turned to him instantly, shaking her head. She looked up at him with a small smile, slowly lifting her hand and moving to try and take off his mask. If he gave any indication of not wanting her to, she'd stop, but she wanted to see his whole face. "Riley," she started, "I'd rather hide and spend time with you than never see you at all." It wasn't what she wanted most of all, since what she really wanted was for things to be how they were last year, but that was nothing more than a dream. It wouldn't happen, so Kinsey would take what she could get. She shook her head, "Please don't apologize." It wasn't his fault. Not in her mind, anyway. @riley
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 25, 2019 10:19:32 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2019 10:19:32 GMT -7
Kinsey admitted that she would rather hide with him than not get to spend any time with him at all. He nodded. Of course he felt the same way, but what he really hated was that they couldn’t just spend time together without having to hide. He wanted to be able to dance with her at a school dance without worrying about his sister or his… fiancee… coming to interrupt. It was such an awful situation and he hated that he was putting her through all of this. He should have just left her alone, maybe then she would have been able to move on. She asked him not to apologize, and he nodded softly. “Okay.”
@kinsey
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 25, 2019 10:29:22 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2019 10:29:22 GMT -7
Kinsey wasn't entirely sure what was going on with Riley. The cheerful, easy atmosphere changed between them when they left the Great Hall and she didn't know why. Was Riley annoyed that she wanted him to leave the dance with her? Or was he still feeling guilty that they had to leave in order to be together? She wasn't entirely sure, but she didn't want him to feel bad for either of those reasons. He agreed to not apologize, but he obviously wasn't happy and Kinsey found herself frowning in response. She didn't want to make him feel guilty or upset. She reached her hands up to touch his cheeks, trying to turn his face so their eyes could meet. "Riley ... I don't want to make you upset. If ... if you want me to leave you alone so you don't have to feel bad about being with me instead of h-her, I'll stop." Her heart felt like it was shriveling as she spoke the words. "I can only imagine how hard this is for you and I really don't want to make it worse for you. I just ..." What? What could she say to explain her actions? She just loved him. A guy who was engaged, who'd already made his decision and she was too weak to let him go. What did that say about Kinsey? She dropped her hands, looking away from Riley now. She didn't know what else to say. @riley
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 25, 2019 10:41:35 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2019 10:41:35 GMT -7
Kinsey reached up and touched his cheek and even just this gentle touch seemed incredibly intimate. He loved the feeling, but he hated the words that came out of her mouth. He hated that she even felt like she had to say them. He hated that he was probably acting weird and giving off some weird vibe that she could sense that was throwing her off. “Kinsey that’s not it at all. You don’t have to do anything to make it easier for me. I want to me it easier for you… I hate that I’m putting you through all of this.” he was getting her hopes up knowing full well that he was going to marry Priscilla in just a few months. She dropped her hand and his heart sank. This was impossible. He was breaking her heart. "You deserve better than me."
@kinsey
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 25, 2019 10:59:17 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2019 10:59:17 GMT -7
Kinsey wasn't entirely sure what she expected when she offered to take a step away. Things were suddenly far more serious than they were a few minutes ago and she was sorry for that. Maybe asking him to leave with her was a bad idea, since it ruined the nice time they were having together. He told her that she didn't understand and that she had things backward. He wanted to make things easier for her. She could see his guilt when he said that he hated putting her through this, when he said that she deserved better than him. Kinsey frowned again, but now her expression was touched with concern. "You saved me, Riley Fudge," she started in a soft voice, looking at the ground as she spoke. "You noticed me when I was nothing but a broken down, bullied shell of a girl. You changed everything," her voice cracked, but Kinsey continued. She hated seeing him think of himself this way. She wanted to make it stop. "You went out of your way to find me and make me smile and make me feel special. You protected me as much as you could and gave me a shoulder to cry on when you couldn't. You gave me presents and planned trips for me and showed me that hiding from the world isn't okay, that I need to find my place in it." Kinsey finally looked up to meet his eyes. "I never felt like I deserved you, so maybe your family has that right, but don't you dare think of yourself as a bad person. You brought light into my life, and for that I will always love you." Even when you're married and I can never hope to see you again," she thought, but didn't say. Her lip was quivering from emotion, but she needed him to understand. As much as it hurt to lose him, without him she wouldn't be who she was today. "I love you,"she whispered, leaning up to kiss him softly on the cheek. She shouldn't, she knew that, but she couldn't help it. @riley
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 25, 2019 12:02:54 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2019 12:02:54 GMT -7
Kinseys’ words broke him. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do. He felt backed into a wall by all of this. Not by her, he didn’t feel like she had put him here, he knew he was put there by his family, but he also knew the consequences of trying to get out of his trap. But here was Kinsey, the girl he actually loved, saying that he had fixed her. Of course, he had never believe her to be broken. But she had given his life so much too, he have changed his entire world, his world view, and the course of his future. She said that she loved him and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. As much as he wanted to just take her in his arms and pretend that everything wasn’t about to change. It was. “Kinsey, we can’t keep doing this to ourselves. You know that I love you. More than anything in the world.” he took her hand in his. “But I can’t keep hurting you…” his voice cracked, this was breaking his heart.
@kinsey
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 25, 2019 12:27:26 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2019 12:27:26 GMT -7
She could read the expression on his face. Even not having his super-ability to read people, Kinsey knew Riley almost as well as she knew herself. What she just told him hadn't helped at all. Maybe it even complicated things more, though that wasn't her intention. She just wanted him to not think of himself as the bad guy. Riley had this complex, this feeling like he had to save the world (or maybe that was just in regards to her), but when he wasn't doing all that he felt he should, he blamed himself for every bad thing. At least, that's how Kinsey saw it. His words were like a punch to the gut. They couldn't keep doing what? Seeing one another before it was too late? Talking with one another? Or was he talking about admitting their feelings. He took her hand and she felt his intentions, strong as ever. He still wanted to protect her, to make her happy. She wanted it too. Kinsey heard the emotion in his voice as he said that he couldn't keep hurting her. "People hurt people, Riley. Even unintentionally. There isn't one relationship on this earth where both parts haven't gotten hurt by the other. You can't protect me from that, no matter how hard you try. Both of us feel too deeply for the other to not be hurt by this situation ..." she trailed off, shaking her head as she squeezed his hand. They were so close to one another, but at the same time there was a gulf between them. One that Kinsey didn't know if they could find a way to cross. "Unless you chose me," the almost inaudible words slipped out of her mouth and Kinsey froze, looking up at Riley and searching for a reaction. She never meant to say that. All the thousands of times that she'd thought about asking him to change his mind, or run through how a conversation like that would go ... she never meant to say it. It was always a dream of hers, one that she promised she'd never go through with. She didn't want to put that kind of pressure on him. She couldn't. @riley
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 25, 2019 12:39:21 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2019 12:39:21 GMT -7
Kinsey’s response to him not wanting to hurt her was that people always hurt one another and that it was inevitable. He shook his head, that wasn’t any way to live life. He didn’t want to go about his life hurting the people that he loved. He wanted to protect her and keep her happy, he didn’t want to keep hurting her. But maybe she couldn’t see another option. Maybe the last few months had cemented in her head that they would never not be able to hurt one another. She ended by saying they would keep hurting one another unless he chose her. What did she mean choose her? “Kinsey of course I choose you, you know I would if I could…” he said, shaking his head. It wasn’t that simple.
@kinsey
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 25, 2019 13:01:15 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2019 13:01:15 GMT -7
Riley was absolutely adorable. His response to her whispered confession was entirely oblivious, but she couldn't bring herself to laugh. What she was about to say ... she was about to put herself way out there on the line and there was every chance that it would break and she would fall. She shook her head, giving the smallest smile. Kinsey swallowed hard before she spoke again, her stomach twisting anxiously. Here goes. "That's not what I meant, Riley," she said in a soft voice, not meeting his eyes yet again. She slid her hand out of his, not sure she wanted to sense anything from him once she got this out. "I know that you have all this pressure from your family, and that you're probably already in the middle of planning for your ..." she forced the word out, "wedding in a few months. I know that I have no right to ask you this and that I'm being incredibly, entirely selfish, but ..." Was she really about to do this? Kinsey's mind screamed at her to stop, shouted that she was just about to bring herself more pain, but apparently she was bent on self-destruction. She looked up into Riley's eyes. "Please don't marry Priscilla," the words finally escaped her, her voice strong with all the emotion running through her in this instant. "I want you to choose me, as in choose to be with me and not her. I want you to leave your family for me, and choose me over everyone else." She bit her lip, trying to make herself stop there, but she couldn't. Tears started spilling over her cheeks as she revealed the one secret she swore she'd never tell him. "I did. This last summer. Dustin, he told me to break up with you. He wouldn't tell me why I should, but he was insistent. When I refused, he told me to choose between you or him, with the promise that I would never see or hear from him again if I didn't choose him. I begged him to change his mind, to not give me an ultimatum, but I chose you." Her lips trembled, "I haven't seen or heard from my closest sibling since." Which was another part of her broken heart, but not the point right now. She squared her shoulders, her gaze entirely focused on Riley. "I'd choose you again and again ... just, please don't marry her." Kinsey stood there in front of him, trembling and feeling like a selfish idiot. A big part of her wanted to run away, but she had to see this through. She had to see what Riley would say. @riley
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 25, 2019 13:20:04 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2019 13:20:04 GMT -7
She asked him not to marry Priscilla. She asked him to cancel the wedding and go against his family. She admitted that she had already done so when Dustin asked her to break up with him over the summer. Dustin had? He didn’t even know Dustin. He was fairly sure the two had never had a conversation, how could he possibly ask Kinsey to leave him? That thought upset Riley almost more than what Kinsey was asking him for right now. “Kinsey it’s not quite that simple…” he knew that she didn’t understand that. She didn’t know about the threat of danger they were under. Riley didn’t even know about the danger they were already under. Kinsey had already been the target of an attack by his own sister that he was blissfully aware of. His family were all blood extremists and he didn’t want to think about what kind of target going against them would put on his back, not to mention Kinsey’s back. He wanted to protect her. “You don’t understand…” he sighed. “I just…” he shook his head and let go of her hand.
Could he? He had no idea what the consequences would be but he had a feeling there would be some. He had been thinking about how to get out of his all year, since the first time Kinsey had brought it up. He didn’t really feel like he was getting any closer, but, he also knew he had to make a real decision now. He either had to commit to marrying Priscilla and leave Kinsey alone, or, he had to take the chance, risk his and Kinsey’s life and future, and be completely cut off from his family. He didn’t even care about his family, he’d happily leave them, but he didn’t want to make Kinsey a target by doing so. “I’m sorry kinsey I should go.” He decided. He turned and left the little room, not looking back. He needed to think. He needed to make this decision. Now was the time. It couldn’t keep getting put off. By next weekend he needed to commit one way or another.
@kinsey
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last online Apr 28, 2024 9:28:18 GMT -7
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May 25, 2019 13:46:19 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2019 13:46:19 GMT -7
Kinsey tried to prepare herself for Riley's inevitable answer. "He couldn't", "it wasn't that simple", "she didn't understand" ... the things she'd told herself repeatedly to keep herself from asking him this. She knew it would stress Riley out, knew that there was a one in a million chance that he would choose her if she actually brought up the choice. She knew all that before she even said a word. It still didn't stop her. She was determined to destroy herself in every way possible, apparently. It only took a moment of looking into his eyes for her to see that he wasn't swayed. He wasn't about to change his mind, for whatever reasons of his own. He kept saying he couldn't tell her, that it was all for her and he was protecting her, that she needed to trust him. Maybe he just thought telling her those things would hurt less than the truth that she was desperately trying to deny: that he wanted to fulfill his parent's wishes and that he actually wanted to go through with the wedding. She was just too blind to see it. He said the same things she already knew he would and Kinsey's heart crumpled and shriveled as he spoke, not even able to finish a sentence. She nodded, looking away from him when he pulled away from her. She told herself that this was that would happen, but part of Kinsey refused to believe it. Riley loved her. He just needed her encouragement and everything would be fine. Lies. Nothing would be fine between them. Riley actually was lost to her, for real now. She wanted to take it all back, to ask him not to leave, to tell him to forget everything, but Riley apologized and left before she could say a word. He didn't look back to her and Kinsey crumpled on the floor. This was worse than the nightmares, worse than the day she lost Dustin. It was even worse than the day she came back to school last fall, the day she lost Riley the first time. This time, he was telling her he didn't want her, not that he was being forced into something he didn't want. She sobbed, not moving from that spot for hours. Her soul felt like it was split into two, her heart turning to rock. She wouldn't be able to look at Riley anymore, much less talk to him. At least there were only three months left, though she knew those would drag on and on. She could avoid him for three months, couldn't she? The bell rang, signifying the end of the party and the start of curfew, but Kinsey still didn't get up. She stayed in the small room that no one paid any attention to all night. When she finally drifted off to sleep, she had the worst nightmare of them all and didn't wake up until after noon the next day. Someone- likely a house elf that found her lying there in the night- left a robe beside her while she slept. Thank Merlin it was Saturday. Kinsey donned the robe, ducked her head, hurried through the corridors and the common room, and pulled the curtain around her bed even though no one was still in there. She started to sob again, exhaustion and sorrow hurting her far worse than anything else she could have imagined. She had nothing left to give. --- the end ---
@riley
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