Putting The Pieces Back Together (Toby)

[Deleted]

Jan. 14, 2025

Kinsey didn't know what was happening. In the past week she'd had two nightmares, but they weren't normal. They took over her sleep, refusing to let her go when her alarm went off in the morning. Even once Kinsey realized she was sleeping, she couldn't wake herself up. She was stuck in a world where people berated and hated her. Not just any people either, the people she most cared about in the world. Riley and Toby, specifically. Of course, she expected strange things with Priscilla and Lydia and Dom, but Riley and Toby? They were the people she trusted more than any others and they hated her too. 

For that reason, Kinsey felt the need to find Toby. They were friends again, having made things right after he got back from Christmas break and she wanted to talk to him about this. She was starting to doubt herself and him, and Riley. Maybe talking to Toby would help. So she waited in the common room for him to come back after the day's classes. She bit her lip, tapping her foot as she watched the door and waited for her best friend to enter. There were dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a mess, but Kinsey didn't care. She just needed Toby. 

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

Classes were finished for the day, so Toby had the rest of the day to work on his school work, or take the rest of the day off if he so pleased. Since he was ahead in his studies for the month of January, he didn't feel the need to hit the library right away after class, which was surprisingly very comforting. The lanky Ravenclaw entered the Ravenclaw common room to drop off his belonging and hopefully find Kinsey if she wasn't hiding in her dorm today. He had noticed she was a little harder to find lately, but he had a feeling a part of it was because of Riley...so he couldn't really blame her. If boys were allowed in the girls dorms, he would have went seeking her out, but any time he'd try to do that the stairs leading to the girls dorms stairs would transform into a slippery slide. He learned the hard way his first year when he nearly chipped a tooth looking for his best friend.

As Toby entered the common room, he was pleasantly surprised to see that Kinsey was sitting on the sofa. Upon first glance, he was happy to see his best friend, but when he really saw her...his stomach dropped. Something was wrong. He could tell by the look on her face. She looked exhausted. There were dark circles under her eyes and her hair was up in all sorts of ways. By the looks of her, she never made it out of bed. Toby quirked an eyebrow at the brunette, approaching slowly, "Hey Kinsey.." he greeted gently, dropping his back pack to the floor and sitting beside her. "Are you okay?" he asked her, grabbing her shoulders gently to look at her face. "What's wrong?" Toby asked her in a concerned tone, trying to hide the worried tone but his face showed it all. Kinsey looked horrible.

@kinsey

[Deleted]

Kinsey was definitely starting to feel like some sort of a creep. People would walk in the door to see her staring at them. Most gave her weird looks and Kinsey would drop their gaze, waiting for them to leave so she could go back to staring at the door. After a while she decided that probably wasn't the best strategy. Maybe she should open a book on her lap and glance up when the door opened. That way she wouldn't freak so many people out? It definitely sounded like a better strategy. 

When Toby walked through the door, Kinsey looked up and their eyes met instantly. He seemed happy to see her and first, but Kinsey could tell when he noticed something was wrong. She knew him that well. He walked over to her slowly, eventually sitting beside her, turning so he could look her head on, asking if she was okay. Kinsey shook her head. "I," she glanced around the room. Hardly anyone was even in the room, but she was nervous someone might listen in. Kinsey was starting to worry she might be losing her mind. She bit her lip, "I'm having bad ... dreams." Understatement of the year. "I mean, they're nightmares." Her stomach clenched. "Toby, it's bad," she leaned forward against his shoulder, wanting to hide from everyone and everything. She was so glad that she and Toby were good again, that she could come to him, but she hardly knew what to say. It all just felt like a messed up jumble of things and Kinsey was worried she wouldn't explain it well enough. Maybe she could try in a minute. 

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

Toby allowed his best friend to fall into his shoulder, turning so that he could wrap his arms around her and give her a hug. The way she looked around the room at first before talking showed him that she was going to probably talk about something more sensitive. He listened carefully, prepared for the worst. When she mentioned 'nightmares' he underestimated the severity, only because he didn't quite understand yet. Toby had always been into dream interpretation and divination, both were subjects that normally excited him. Kinsey seemed scared though, which made him feel sorry, he desperately wanted to comfort her. Toby placed a hand on her back, "Nightmares can be freaky sometimes when they feel so real. What are you dreaming about, Kins?" he asked her gently, softening his expression as much as he could. Toby felt a little bad making her talk about it, but she seemed like she needed to. If she decided she didn't want to, he would respect that, he ultimately wanted to be there for his best friend.

@kinsey

[Deleted]

Kinsey shook her head against her best friend's shoulder. He didn't understand. Honestly, how could he? Kinsey highly doubted nightmares the like of hers were common. No one would ever make it to class if they were. Still, she didn't know how to explain it and not sound like she was going crazy. At least she knew that if she could trust anyone to give her a chance to explain, Toby would. "No, you don't understand Toby," she muttered against him. "These don't just feel real. They are real. I can sense people's intentions in them. I can see every detail. It's like I'm actually there," she shuddered as the memory flashed through her mind. "Everyone hates me. In my dreams, I mean. Riley, you, everyone that matters. It feels so real though." So real that she was starting to doubt whether or not Toby actually liked her. She wondered when he'd push her away and tell her she was being too needy and clingy and untrustworthy. She was barely holding the tears in anymore, one actually trickled down her cheek and Kinsey pulled away from Toby, raising her gaze to meet his. Would this be what made him turn away from her? "Sorry," she muttered, glancing away from him. She wasn't sure of anything anymore. 

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

As a Ravenclaw, Toby hated being told that he didn't understand something. He took pride in being a know-it-all. Today, he didn't understand what his best friend was going through, but he desperately wanted to. He listened silently as she explained what was going on. Toby studied as her face changed while talking about her nightmares, she was getting worked up and he wanted to provide her comfort. As she glanced away from him, probably out of embarrassment, he scooted toward her. Toby shook his head at her sorry, that was the last thing he wanted. Toby wanted to be there for her but he didn't really know what to say. He hadn't experienced anything like that in his dreams. The Ravenclaw scooted toward her again, raising a hand to wipe her tears and pull her into his arms.  "That sounds horrible, I'm sorry you're going through this. Nobody hates you, Kinsey. Seriously. Riley doesn't hate you, and I will never hate you, I promise..I want to be here for you." he told her, trying to reassure he but also show empathy towards the situation. Toby held her close, not caring who saw them and trying to keep the conversation private. All he wanted to do was make Kinsey feel better. He took a breath and asked, "How long has it been since it started? You don't really look like you're sleeping." he told her honestly, knowing it probably wasn't what she wanted to hear, but he was still digesting all of the information.


@kinsey

[Deleted]

Toby scooted closer to her as she spoke. Even though Kinsey couldn't bear to look at him in the moment, she appreciated him coming closer. He was proving, even without words, that she wasn't annoying him or being in the way. He wanted to be there for her and she appreciated that more than she could express. When she finally glanced up at him, he wiped her tears away, which honestly just made Kinsey want to cry more. Dream Toby would never do that. He'd berate her for being so emotional and rag on her for being a terrible friend before storming off. She let Toby hold her close, leaning against him and just letting his intentions wash over her. He was concerned, he wanted to help, and he wanted to be there for her. She loved him even more for that.

She nodded against him, though she wasn't entirely sure Riley didn't hate her. In her dreams, he was the one that hurt her the most. She wasn't sure if he would like her outside of the dreams anymore. "Thank you Toby," she muttered against him, trying to just relax, though she was still trembling a little.

She hesitated at his next question, but she answered it all the same, trying to ignore the small blush that crept onto her face when he said she didn't look like she was sleeping. She looked terrible. Kinsey knew that. "I had the first one the night before everything happened with Anastasia," she said slowly, biting her lip. "I don't have them every night, but the nightmares kind of sap away all my strength. I feel more tired after them than I did the night before." It made no sense to her, since she was still sleeping, but that was how things were. "I don't know what to do," Kinsey muttered softly.

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

Toby listened closely as Kinsey explained a little more. She was going through a lot and he really wished that he could help. When she told him that everything started the night of their fight with Anastasia, he couldn't help but feel guilty about it. Toby was relived that they were past their fight over winter break, but it didn't hurt any less talking about it. Toby missed her so much when they weren't talking, it was like a piece of him was missing.

He still remained close to Kinsey, wanting to keep their conversation private from anyone else listening in the common room. His expression softened slightly, "Are you aware of when you're dreaming?" Toby asked her clinically, only wanting to help. He'd surely go to the library to look into this, he hadn't heard of what she was going through and he found it discomforting, but also very interesting since Toby wished to pursue becoming a healer. His best friend was struggling and he could tell as she muttered against him, he offered her a hug before releasing. "Whatever is going on, we're going to figure it out...you just need to stay strong, Kinsey. We're gonna get to the bottom of this." he tried to reassure her, while trying to believe the words himself. He did believe it. They were smart and they had many resources at school. "Have you told Riley or anyone about it?" he asked her, curious about how much she  had talked about the issue.

@kinsey

[Deleted]

Kinsey appreciated that Toby stayed so close so she could explain everything with her voice lowered. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to get through all of this otherwise, but he knew her and he was helping her keep her information confidential. She bit her lip at his question and shook her head, "Not for a while. It's so vivid and real and ... my ability works in the nightmares," she confessed, her voice lowering even softer than a whisper now. Her stomach was clenched and she felt like she was going to be sick. It was harder to talk about this than she expected. Toby gave her a hug and Kinsey relaxed against him, taking a deep breath when he let her go. Then she sat up, ready to keep going with the conversation. "Thank you Toby. I ... I have been looking in the library, trying to figure out what's happening to me. I haven't found anything though." Which was one of the hardest things. The library hadn't ever let her down before, now it was during her hardest moments. She shook her head again when he asked if she'd told anyone else. "No, I'm scared people will think I'm crazy," she whispered, trying to keep her emotions under check. She didn't want to have an emotional breakdown now.

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

As Kinsey explained her dreams and how real they felt, he bit down on his lip, searching his memory for anything that sounded similar to what she was experiencing. Toby couldn't remember learning anything about that in Divination, he wished they had. This was certainly a unique situation. Toby offered his shoulder for his friend, placing a hand on her back as his face softened, he could see the stress in his best friends eyes. He desperately wished that he could do something for her. He took a breath in before releasing, "It's probably better that you don't tell anyone." he assured her. This was a sensitive subject, Kinsey didn't need all of Hogwarts gossiping about her ailments furthermore. Toby rolled his eyes to the back of his skull, "You know how desperate people are for things to talk about around here.." he swallowed, wishing he had more advice for Kinsey. All he could really offer her at the moment was support.

Toby turned toward the brunette with a hopeful look, "Would you like to go to the library now?" he asked her, already prepared to research into her inner demons. Toby would do whatever it took to help his best friend, because he knew that she would do the exact same for him if he were struggling.


@kinsey

[Deleted]

Kinsey could feel Toby's concern, his desire to help her and she knew she did the right thing in telling him. Even though it was hard to admit what was going on with her, she knew Toby cared about her and that he wanted to help. He would never just let her struggle on her own. In the very least, he would stay with her and support her. She appreciated that so much. She nodded when he said it was probably better she not tell anyone else. "I know," she muttered. Part of her wanted to tell Riley, but at the same time she was too nervous to. What if he thought she was making it up or something. She nodded, smiling a little, "Don't worry about that, Toby. They'll just gossip that Kinsey Bainbridge suddenly doesn't care about attending class anymore. They won't know why." She wasn't going to tell just anyone about what was happening with her. Right now, Kinsey didn't plan on telling anyone but Toby.

He asked if she wanted to go to the library now. Kinsey hesitated for a second, then nodded and smiled. "Yeah. Thanks Toby." Maybe he'd think to check somewhere she hadn't thought to check yet. In the very least, she wouldn't be researching it on her own, which would definitely be a relief. She could do anything, now that she had her best friend with her.

--- the end ---

tobias charles watkins