I Want Your Midnights (Ilija)

[Deleted]

Carmen was such a gentle woman that Ilija felt bad about being such a cold and shut off person in general. He really did try to be open with her but it just wasn't so easy. The entire idea of a relationship wasn't just foreign to him but it almost felt like treason. It took regular reminders that Hannah would have wanted him to be happy but in every aspect that she was like his late fiancee just hurt. When she was gentle and patient with him he was reminded of Hannah and of how he'd lost her and Floyd. It wasn't something that Carmen could change and he knew it wasn't fair to her either but it all just felt like he was rushing into this. It had been more than five years and it still felt like he was rushing, which was rather insane all in all. Sometimes, late at night, he'd lie awake and imagine she was sleeping next to him and that in a room nearby their little boy was trying to sleep or secretly playing with some toys because he didn't want to go to sleep yet. How was he supposed to explain that to her? That he wasn't really over the life he'd once hoped to have, that it was just a pretense because he couldn't make everybody worry about him?

"It's different I guess." He said, looking at the food as if he could decipher what exactly his brain was failing to perceive. What it should taste like if not sand. Everything tasted about the same and just about everything was void of flavour. Or maybe it wasn't so much void of flavour as he simply just wasn't interested in the taste of it. He took another bite, but it didn't exactly change the situation so he shrugged. "I think my sister would really like it." He supplied, hoping it'd make her happy. At the very least he figured that Vasilia would know the recipe and have a million ideas of how to put a twist on it. To him? It was just food, nothing more and nothing less.

She seemed to be picking up on his apathy a bit and he almost felt guilty. He didn't want her to worry, least of all about him. "I'm fine." He assured her with a small smile. "But I wouldn't mind sitting down either, if you're done in the kitchen?" he asked politely before moving towards the kitchen table so he wouldn't end up accidentally getting stains on the sofa. She mentioned it being weird that she was famous and he chuckled slightly, a warm smile spreading across his face. "Dear Carmen, it's strange to me for very different reasons. I personally don't care about your fame. It's part of your job. You're a good person, in that end that is all the relevant information I need to decide I like you. You're Carmen to me, not Camila." He reassured her gently, softly squeezing her arm as a gentle reminder that he was serious about that. He didn't care about her fame. He then sighed and shrugged. "There isn't all that much to know about me. I lived abroad in Madagaskar for the last five years and recently moved back. I'm a curse breaker and I care about my family a lot. I guess the most interesting aspects of my life as it is would be my family members. I know I'm not a very sharing person, but I don't talk about my past. It doesn't matter how I became who I am, not if who I am now is what you're interested in. I'm just like any other, except for the leg." He said with a small smile and a shrug. He glossed over the other scars and the obvious story that went along with them. He just didn't want to share that with anybody.

camila calderón

[camila calderón]

December 31, 2025

Ilija expressed that he would prefer to sit down, and Camila nodded. She visually checked that everything that needed to be turned off was off and then went over to where he was standing around at the kitchen table.

Before she could even set her plate down upon the table, though, Ilija had mentioned that he found her fame weird for different reasons, reassuring her that she was really just Carmen to him and touching her arm. Ilija spoke a little bit more about himself then, and Camila set down her plate so that she could focus on him completely. He reiterated that he wasn't one to share much about himself, and she nodded. She trusted that he wasn't saying so little about his past because he was trying to keep secrets from her, and what he had mentioned so far matched up. She knew that Ilija had mentioned Madagascar a little bit before, and she obviously knew about his prosthesis. If it turned out that she was wrong about him, then it would be her fault.

The famous part of her was probably the more interesting one, meanwhile, but Ilija didn't have to go to much effort to find out just about anything about her life. She didn't know how to reassure Ilija that it didn't matter to her if he didn't feel comfortable sharing everything about his life with her. "Sometimes, I do not know how to say in English," she reminded him, "but I understand, Ili." Camila additionally offered Ilija a smile, hoping that that might help. "I trust you," she said. "If something is"—she paused briefly to think over her word choice—"'traumatic'? If it hurts… it is okay that you do not want to say." He didn't need to tell her anything that would make him uncomfortable. "But I do not want that you have pain," she added, though she wasn't sure if that came across in the right way.

Although she hesitated slightly, she reached over to hug Ilija from the side. "If it is more comfortable to sit, please," Camila spoke, gesturing to the chairs. "We can sit," she told him, though she didn't feel that he needed to check with her if he felt more comfortable sitting down. "It is not necessary to ask me. If it is okay that I ask, you want to rest?" She checked with him. "I know you say before that you cannot sleep." If he was tired, she didn't mind. She could wake him up again before midnight. If not, that was okay, too, honestly; the holiday was an excuse to spend time with him.

@ilija

[Deleted]

The one thing that made this... relationship of sorts diffcult for Ilija beyond the part that she was famous and that was just a little strange to him was most of all the part where she was so incredibly nice. She cared and she cared a lot. She seemed to constantly fret and worry about his comfort, if he ate enough, if he needed rest and a number of other things that made him feel extremely.... uncomfortable. He'd lived on his own for many years and while his neighbours and friends had checked in he'd always been able to call a halt to it and politely shove them out the door. After a while they'd learned that was just who he was and they shrugged it off and found new ways to care for him without worrying. They dropped by meals on occassion or just stopped by. Sometimes they offered to help out around the house when they noticed his exhaustion had gotten the better of him. A few of his friends were so aggressively determined to help that every time he went out on a job he came back to a perfectly clean and stocked house, although there were very little perishables since they didn't always know how long it would take him to come back.

Now living with Teddy mostly meant he had somebody around to share the load of the housework with by default because it was simply a shared responsibility. His family fretted and were more than obvious in their annoyance if he brushed their help off too often. They didn't coddle him or worry too much because they knew more than perfectly well that it wouldn't be a positive influence. He'd been carrying the burden on his own for such a long time that it was clear he wasn't fragile, just weary. Camila was different, she was more concerned, more active in voicing her concerns for his comfort and seemingly constantly going out of her way to ensure he was taken care of. It made him feel nervous and awkward and all in all, like she thought he was somehow weaker than most. He knew it came from the right place as it was clear that she was a good person but he wanted it to stop so badly that at some point he just had enough of it.

So as she once again assured him she understood and that it was okay for him to voice matters and that she wanted him to be comfortable he took a deep calming breath and gentle grabbed both her shoulders to stop her from moving and looked her deep in the eyes. "Carmen...." He said in a firm but gentle tone. "Stop. Just stop. I will make myself as at home as is decent to do, but that's rather impossible when you're constantly trying to provide. I appreciate your concern and it's incredibly sweet, but I lived alone for so many years that I'm still not quite used to company. The more you remind me to be comfortable, the more alien the idea will be. I'm not an open and sharing person, but just treat me like anybody else. If I need food or something to drink, I can still grab it myself. If I need rest I know where to find it. Just...." He paused and chuckled slightly, shaking his head for a moment before moving his hands up to cup her face. "Just enjoy the evening, and I promise I'll do the same." He briefly kissed her forehead and then took another bite as he sauntered over to the sofa.

He smiled at her deviously then. "Now it's my turn to tell you to make yourself at home." He said with a small wink. "It is your home after all and it's hard to enjoy your own celebrations if you're too busy hosting your guests." He reminded her, even though he was only a party of one.

camila calderón

[camila calderón]

December 31, 2025

Camila flinched slightly as Ilija took her by the shoulders. "Carmen…" he addressed her, and Camila wasn't sure how to respond as she looked into his eyes. She wasn't fearful, but she hadn't been expecting it. "Stop. Just stop," he instructed her. Her face fell slightly as he told her off, and she couldn't tell if he was still appreciative or not until he said outright that he appreciated what she was trying to do. It was also strange to hear him talk about how he wasn't used to company, especially when she was typically the one who felt out of place in social situations because she didn't party quite as hard as some of her peers in the music industry.

"Just…" Ilija trailed off as he told her what the matter was. He laughed a little, and Camila knew that he wasn't laughing at her as soon as he moved to cup her face with his hands. "Just enjoy the evening, and I promise I'll do the same," he told her, kissing her on the forehead.

He made his way to the sofa. "Now it's my turn to tell you to make yourself at home," he told her, and Camila was relieved to see that he seemed to have no hard feelings about the fact that she had unintentionally seemed overbearing. "It is your home after all," he reminded her, "and it's hard to enjoy your own celebrations if you're too busy hosting your guests."

Managing a smile, Camila sat herself down upon the sofa, her plate still at the table. She got the feeling that Ilija didn't want her to apologize; rather, she got the feeling that apologizing would make her seem too overbearing again, and so she instead took in a deep breath. She reached over to Ilija, hoping to signal to him that she wasn't truly upset. His response had shocked her for a minute; that was all.

"Okay…" Camila considered. Her mind went straight to the thought of being in an interview, though that made her tense up for a second or two. She breathed out. "If it is too much, say, 'Stop,'" she offered quietly. She didn't know what Ilija wanted to know most about her, but she decided to start somewhere. "So…" Camila talked about herself all the time to the media, but suddenly it felt even harder. "For me, 'home' is Córdoba, in Argentina, with my parents," she shared, trying to recount all of what Ilija had told her about his background. "But… I went to school at Castelobruxo, in Brazil," she added, "but I leave because of my career." It had been her own choice, rather than the school's; she hadn't been expelled. "I speak Spanish and Portuguese," Camila continued. Obviously, though, she was speaking in English at that moment, and so she added, "And English," after another second.

@ilija

[Deleted]

It was nice to see that Carmen was willing to relax just a little, although he had clearly thrown her off just a little bit. It didn't matter. He wasn't a suave kind of guy and if she expected that she was not going to be too happy in the long run. He was difficult without a doubt because he didn't really talk about himself much and kept most things about himself close to his chest. Yet he listened intently and appreciated that she didn't apologise for being herself and trying to care for him when that wasn't what he wanted or needed. She did what she deemed was right, but it was his place and duty to tell her that it wasn't actually helping in making him more comfortable. He listened intently and nodded as she spoke. After she stopped he smiled slightly and nodded. "I speak a tiny bit of French and I'm conversational in Malagasy." He offered, taking her hand in his and holding it gently, as if to signal that he found this far more comfortable.

Then he thought for a moment. "I'd like to visit Argentina one day, as a tourist. You don't really get the pretty stuff through my line of work. Curses and tombs, they might make for cool stories but they're not usually the best in terms of drawing in tourists, outside of Egypt of course." He mused for a moment. From the few things he'd heard it was a beautiful country and people there liked dancing. That was about all he knew off the top of his head though. "I guess I don't really have a place I call home. It used to be in Madagaskar, but after I left to come back here I didn't really have many reasons to go back. Maybe to visit friends, but not really to live there." He said and turned to her for a moment, curious about school. "What was Castelobruxo like? I've never really heard that much about it, or any schools outside Hogwarts for that matter." He said, interested in what her time at school had been like. "And tell me what your other passions are, outside of food and singing." He said with a broad smile.

He then paused for a moment and frowned. "I guess my hobbies are...." And he paused, pulling a face as he realised he didn't really have any. "... nonexistant. I just work, come home and then eat and try to sleep. Rinse and repeat." He grumbled and shook his head in distaste at that realisation. "Guess I'm more boring than I realised, huh?" He said easily as he smiled at her. "Guess you're going to have to do most of the story telling, or it'll be a very long and dreary night until the fireworks start." He said, hoping she'd forgive him for being such poor company. He just really didn't do much outside of work. Well, then again, he had known for quite some time he was supposedly depressed and lack of interest in things one used to enjoy was supposed to be one of the criteria. He was fairly certain he met enough for the diagnosis but he just didn't really want to get it. Maybe he just needed to find a hobby he was interested in. Balls and dances were clearly off the table due to the formal wear. He'd have to think on this, clearly.

camila calderón

[camila calderón]

December 31, 2025

Ilija mentioned that he knew some of both French and Malagasy, and Camila nodded. She knew that it would probably make her life easier to know French, too; Auguste and Sienna both spoke it, and it was closer to Spanish and Portuguese than English was. He also mentioned that he would like to visit Argentina someday as a tourist, since his work meant that he was typically exploring tombs. He had a point, too, when he mentioned that it was really only Egypt that had tombs as such a prominent tourist attraction.

He told her then that he didn't really have somewhere to call home. It had been Madagascar, he continued, but he said that he didn't have many reasons to go back.

Even with as far away from Argentina as she was, Camila knew that that was "home". Returning since becoming famous was different, though. It would never be exactly the same for her as it had been, but it was where she had grown up and realized what she wanted to do with her life.

"What was Castelobruxo like?" Ilija asked. "I've never really heard that much about it, or any schools outside Hogwarts for that matter." He added, "And tell me what your other passions are, outside of food and singing."

She was prepared to answer, but Ilija then explained to her that, when it came to his own interests, he didn't really have hobbies. He called himself "boring" because of that, but Camila wasn't sure that that was true. He must have had something that he was passionate about, but he invited her to be the one to talk about herself instead.

"Ilija," Camila spoke softly. She moved closer to him on the sofa and gently leaned her head against his shoulder for a moment before lifting her head and turning it to kiss him on the cheek. If she could magically wake up speaking perfect, fluent English, she would do it in a heartbeat. It would make it easier to understand him and how he thought about things more clearly. What was becoming more apparent to her was how lost he seemed to feel, that he might have been in his country but didn't quite feel that he had a place in it.

Camila didn't want him to feel that she was only talking about herself, but he had asked what Castelobruxo was like. "Castelobruxo is… Hmmm." She didn't really know how Hogwarts was; she had never been there, but she understood that her former school placed more of an emphasis on Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures. "It is in the rainforest in Brazil," she explained to start off, "and it is not a castle like in Europe. It is a… temple?" That was the closest way to describe it, anyway. "The castle is gold, and there are… I do not know… beings? They are called 'Caipora'. They are small, and they protect the school. They are…" She laughed with a hint of derision but wasn't sure how to explain herself. "The Caipora, they make jokes, but it is like… not funny? They cause problems," she tried to clarify. Helpful though they theoretically were to have around, they also liked to cause trouble.

"Castelobruxo is a good school," Camila continued, "but I was not a good student." It was probably strange to hear her admit that, but it was the truth. "They like the… Herbology and creatures very much," she explained, "but for me, it was hard." She felt better off already having a career, and it was one where she didn't usually have to deal with the subjects that she had learned in school.

"When I am not working, I like to pass the time with my friends," she shrugged. Doing regular things was actually enjoyable to her. "I do not like to go to parties to drink. I do not like alcohol very much, so…" She knew that that probably made her seem like such a boring celebrity, but Ilija hadn't seemed to be terribly into that lifestyle, either. "This is good," Camila reassured him, leaning up against him lightly.

@ilija

[Deleted]

Now that Carmen finally seemed to settle down a lot more, Ilija instantly felt a lot more comfortable and at ease around her. As she laid her head on his shoulder he warpped an arm around her and patiently waited for her answers. He knew that translation could take some time, especially when trying to communicate clearly in a language that wasn't your own. He'd experienced it more than just once. It had been years of speaking two languages in hopes of properly communicating, but they had to make due with merely one. It sounded quite different from Hogwarts, but possibly in a good way. It made him smile to think of a golden temple in a rainforest sounded by small creatures telling jokes that were not funny. In his brain it was a bunch of minature peeves like creatures running around. It was quite the impressive sight in his mind, having seen his fair share of temples through work. Their uses were different of course, but he imagined the architecture might be similar.

Carmen mentioned she hadn't really been a good student. School had been hard for her it seemed. Up to some point it made a lot of sense with the career she'd ended up in. While he imagined that artistic people might do very well in school, it also made sense that their talents might be elsewhere, or at the very least their efforts and attention. "Don't worry, despite getting good grades I was not a good student either. I caused problems." He said, hoping it would reassure her a little. Not that he planned to elaborate much. There was too many happy memories at school that were painful to remember. So few of them were without Hannah and anything and everything that reminded him of Hannah was painful. He avoided all of that whenever he could. Even now the mere reference towards the school sent a pang of pain through his soul and he bit the inside of his cheek a moment as he forced himself not to remember more. Not to remember the worst....

She continued and he focussed on her voice, almost as though it was a piece of driftwood he could cling to in order to keep from drowning. She mentioned hanging out with friends and not liking parties much, or alcohol for that matter. "I've noticed drinking is a bit of a slippery slope, so I avoid it most of the time. I see little added value to getting drunk in the long run." He mused, softly tracing circles on her shoulder as he was silent for a moment. He wasn't really good at the dating thing, although he knew that was partially because he didn't want to be opening up about his own past. "So are you planning to stay around here much the coming year? Or is it a more temporary visit?" He asked, in part to know what to expect. He didn't really like unexpected things, as they caused too many problems. If she planned to leave he didn't really mind, although it would be a shame since he did enjoy her company. If she stayed, well they could see whatever it was they seemed to be building here.

camila calderón

[camila calderón]

December 31, 2025

Although Ilija had gotten good grades in school, he told her that he hadn't been a good student, either. He had caused problems, he said, and Camila shook her head. "I was good," she smiled. In terms of her behavior, that had never been a problem. Her academic performance in terms of the marks that she received hadn't been fantastic. "But my—How do you say?—'notes'? Not good." If she had stayed at school rather than dropping out, perhaps it would have been more of a problem for her, thought Camila, although she also knew that she didn't have academic qualifications if she wanted or needed to pursue a career other than in music in the future.

Like her, though, Ilija said that he tried to avoid drinking and getting drunk. Camila, too, wasn't sure what was supposed to be so enjoyable about it. She didn't have anything horrible in her past that had turned her off of the idea of drinking. (And her country itself was known for its wines.) Still, it wasn't her favorite thing. Just the taste of it was strange to her.

Ilija was silent again after that, but Camila could feel him running his finger in circles along her shoulder. "So are you planning to stay around here much the coming year?" he wondered. "Or is it a more temporary visit?"

Camila laughed a little, mostly because she didn't even know how to answer that question despite having understood it. She was never really supposed to be living in London on a more permanent basis, but it had ended up turning into something like that. It was probably more complicated than he thought, but she smiled and knew that she had to try her best to explain it. "I came to London for my album in English," she told him. "And then I was ill with the Hag's Fever during the summer, and I did not travel for my tour…" Not that she could have traveled because of the rules that the British Ministry had put in place. "My tour is in the spring. In February, it will start," she explained, though she had been adamant about not allowing it to become as stressful as it had been for her the first time around. "The concerts will be… I will go from London to the concerts." Not sure if that made sense, Camila then tried to elaborate. "So… Concert, return for some days, concert," she added. It wouldn't be totally leisurely, but it would be better than the alternative. "It is better," she shared, "because it will be less stress.

"And I like London," Camila smiled. It was different from what she was used to, and the language barrier made living there more difficult at times than it probably really was. Nevertheless, she enjoyed it. "Before, I did not meet anyone," she explained to Ilija. "It was very…" She tried to find a good way of putting it. "I worked hard, but… It was not very good." She hadn't had the opportunity to make genuine friends in the industry. "Now, I have friends, and I want that my English will be better. Not only work all the time."

@ilija

[Deleted]

Carmen explained that she was a good student but that she hadn't been good at taking notes. He figured that all that meant was that she was just not academically inclined rather than dumb or something. Talent was something different than intelligent, but being able to learn didn't make you capable of doing anything. There were so many odd discrepancies between how things should work and how they actually did. He had a great career due to academic achievements and still ended up in plenty of fights and other risky situations than one might expect from essentially an archeologist. Everybody had their strengths.

At his question if she planned to stay she answered somewhat elaborately, but it made the situation a lot clearer for him. She wasn't planning to stay or go, but mostly planned to have a life he was quite familiar with himself. A lot of travel and London as home base. Although his home base had been in a different country, he and Hannah had travelled a lot for work and even after she'd passed he'd still been on the road a lot. It was contract based, in a sense. He did the job and returned to his homebase until he started a new job. It wasn't by default the best way to live but it had always worked for him. Being more grounded was different and not really pleasant to him but it was best for now. At least until his father had passed and everything on that front was taken care of.

"It sounds rather busy, but from what I know it's always good to have a place to come back to in order to destress between jobs. Different job, I suppose, but I imagine the travel is similar." He said, trying to show her that he empathised. He'd always liked the travel aspect of his job, but he could understand others did not. Some people liked a steady structure for their daily life but he'd always been built more for the thrill of adventure. That was a lot eaiser to get when one frequented a lot of different places.

"I'm sure your English will improve a lot more if you're going to be living here a while." He said, hoping to encourage her a bit. He found it rather easy to talk to her despite the obvioius language barrier. She was easy to talk to, at least in the way that she came across as very relaxed and understanding of misundertandings. Plus it helped he had quite a bit of experience in communicating with language barriers after moving abroad. It was something that became easier with time, as one got more familiar with both language differences as well as cultural differences. Not that it was always easy, but it certainly helped if one was used to things not running all that smoothly. It kept things from being highly complicated when they didn't need to be because people were too busy misunderstanding things. Now that caused a lot of stress. "And I'll help out where I can." He promised then, hoping that would assure her that he'd be around for her, if nothing else then at least as a friend.

camila calderón

[camila calderón]

December 31, 2025

Camila was glad that Ilija seemed to understand that her life was so busy and that she was using London as her "home" of sorts. Going back and forth between Europe and South America simply wasn't feasible, even with magic; the time differences and everything else would have made it incredibly difficult. Having that opportunity to "destress", as Ilija said, was important—both for her mental health and her physical health.

Ilija added, too, that he felt that her English would improve much more if she were to stay living in London. And, what was even more, he stated that he would help out where he could.

"Thank you," Camila smiled at him, relieved that at least he understood that she was trying. "Singing, it is different because I can memorize the songs, but conversations are…" Again, she tried to figure out how to word what she wanted to say. It made it much easier on her that it wasn't an interview. She could just speak and not give as much thought to her responses in that way. "In reality, I am not a person who is very quiet," she went on, "but it is better when I can think, you know?" Songwriting sessions occasionally got frustrating because of that, because everyone else would be speaking in English at such a rapid pace. "Because I think in Spanish, and people, they think that because I am not speaking English well…" she shrugged a little, leaning into Ilija gently. It wasn't that she was stupid. "Spanish, for me, it is like English for you. If I can speak English like that…" then that would be all the better.

It wasn't his job to teach her his language, but Camila was grateful for his help. "I will teach you some Spanish," she promised him softly. "So, this holiday, we call it 'fin de año', or end of the year, and tomorrow is 'Año Nuevo', or New Year… So the 'ñ'"—she noted, making the sound in Spanish—"it is like 'n'"—pronouncing the letter as in English—"with the little line, but for us it is not only a different sound. It is a different letter."

@ilija

[Deleted]

She explained that songs and singing were quite different as songs could be memorised and conversations could not be. It made perfect sense to him, even though he was terrible at remembering lyrics. He liked listening to music but oddly enough had a bit of a preference for the more classical music that didn't have any voices to it. He just listened to the instruments and felt the music, free to fill in his own meaning or story with it. He liked it that way. Naturally it wasn't her thing as she clearly could memorise lyrics very well in her line of work but he did love understand what she was saying. One could practise that part. "I had the same when I was learning Malagasy." He admitted. "But I'm horrible at memorising song lyrics so it's good I don't sing for a living." He said with a smile. He hoped she'd understand that he understood her struggles with him having learnt a new language at a later point in life as well.

He couldn't claim he was very surprised she wasn't a naturally quiet person. With her struggles with English and the amount she still spoke it made perfect sense to him. He was a very quiet person by nature, but he didn't mind listening to others, which meant it balanced out rather nicely most of the time. Except when those in a conversation would utterly drown him out, but Carmen had never done so and he was pretty sure it wouldn't start if she mastered English a bit more. He nodded on her mention of being able to think. "It's a lot easier when people give you time to consider what you want to say and mentally translate it. I imagine it's even more important when so many people listen to what you're saying to begin with." He had the luck that he didn't have an audience of thousands hanging on to his every word. He was pretty sure he'd absolutely hate that.

He nodded as she explained the Spanish to him. He had no idea if he was actually capable of storing yet another language up there but he figured he could give it a go. "Happy Año Nuevo, Carmen." He said with a bit of a wink. Then he softly kissed her temple as he considered the idea of learning a few phrases in Spanish, just to have a little something to say to her. A simple 'how are you' or something could be nice to say. He certainly had no plans to start with more serious matter, as he most certainly didn't want to give her the wrong impression. He didn't want to move fast, because he wanted to take his time and see if what they had was more than a one time spark. If the time came, he'd find the words that matched his feelings on their own.

camila calderón

[camila calderón]

December 31, 2025

Camila appreciated hearing that Ilija had had difficulty in learning Malagasy, not that she had any experience with the language herself (nor did she know what it sounded like). He also seemed to understand—or to recognize, at least—that her speaking English well mattered because she did have an audience and a fan base that was larger than the average person's. Even with her social media posts, she had started communicating more in English in order to grow her English-speaking audience.

With Ilija, it wasn't about "curation" or "metrics" or this or that—all elements that she understood were supposed to be related to her "brand" as Camila Calderón but that she couldn't bring herself to become obsessed with. If people enjoyed her music and what she was doing, then they would come. The same applied to her real life; she wasn't going to force it or try to be someone else to seem more impressive. She could only be honest with Ilija and understand that her fame had never been part of his attraction to her.

When he wished her a happy New Year in a combination of English and Spanish and then kissed her, Camila's smile widened. "Good. And 'happy' is 'feliz'," she added, knowing that she probably should have mentioned that beforehand. "Feliz Año Nuevo, Ilija," she told him, lifting her head so that she could kiss him in return. "…Like that."

@ilija

[Deleted]

He understood that networking was part of her job, as it made perfect sense. She needed people to be interested in her product, which was her voice, which meant she needed to make it well known. It wasn't easy to make it in the music industry to begin with so it spoke volumes that she got this far. But that also meant she needed to be very aware of how she continued from this point onwards. Every step was likely to be under scrutiny and that was a challenging thing. He couldn't even imagine every inch of his life being under a microscope like that. He'd found it irritating enough when the bank had insisted on a performance review after his leg had been rehabilitated to ensure sending him into the field was safe. He understood it was needed and had worked with the reviewer without complaints but in silence he'd hated every single second of it. He never wanted to have to go through that again. He'd rather retire.

She at least seemed to appreciate his efforts to speak a little Spanish, which was pretty much all the encouragement he needed in order to at least try. Not that he was going to try to teach her anything in terms of new languages. For starters, Malagasy wasn't used here and it most certainly wouldn't help her when she was already focussed on learning English. He'd content himself learning a few phrases in Spanish and see where things went, although they currently at least seemed to be going in a good direction. Or at least he thought that they were.

He nodded and smiled as she wished him a happy new year in Spanish. "Feliz Año Nuevo, Carmen." He said then, trying again, but with the Spanish version of being happy about it. She kissed him and he smiled, almost as if confused. "You look really beautiful today." He said softly, smiling gently as his eyes traced her face. He wasn't sure why, but something about her more innocent side made him feel like he wanted to protect her. No doubt the world would be cruel to her, but he wanted to build her up so that nobody could break her down. The only question was up to what point he actually could do so.

camila calderón

[camila calderón]

December 31, 2025

Hearing Ilija wish her a happy New Year in her own language was special to Camila. That he was making the effort was, in itself, a change of pace. She was living in another country where she had to speak their language constantly despite not speaking it with the ease that she would have liked. Learning a little bit of Spanish instead didn't do anything to benefit Ilija; he could have turned his nose up at it, but he hadn't. She didn't need him to become fluent in Spanish, but even his knowing how to say as much as he had was more than most people she'd met.

It was the familiarity of the phrase plus her attraction to him that really made the difference, Camila thought. The way he called her "Carmen" and not "Camila" was similar. It made her feel more comfortable that she wasn't always performing, that he didn't expect the image of supposed perfection that came along with her stage name. She could leave that at the door and have that divide between her career and her personal life that she so wanted. It wasn't all about interviews and meetings and branding and whatever else came her way as far as what her label (or whoever else, because it seemed to vary by the day) wanted.

Ilija smiled as she kissed him, but he seemed more surprised by it than anything. "You look really beautiful today," he told her. It sounded sincere, like he wasn't saying it just because he could or in response to her having kissed him but because he believed what he was saying. Even though Camila didn't doubt that he liked her and found her attractive, she appreciated the compliment because it wasn't just flattery. She wasn't dressed up, as she had been on Christmas Eve; she was more relaxed, and that seemed to have carried over to Ilija's demeanor.

"Thank you," Camila smiled back at Ilija, looking into his eyes as he looked at her. "You look very nice, too." He looked less nervous compared to the last time they'd been together. It was yet another holiday, but it felt different—better, in a way, even if she wasn't having her "princess" moment as she had at the ball. She didn't mind looking nice and didn't mind events, really, but just being back at her flat was good, too, and it meant less chance of an ankle injury. "Normally," she started, "New Year's Eve is like this for you?" Camila was curious to know how he typically celebrated the occasion. "In Argentina, it is warm, so there are parties, and lots of food and people." She knew that neither of them were into partying hard, but she didn't want to bore him if there was something that he wanted to do in particular. "Last year, too, I was here in London, but it was not like now," she added. "My team was very worried because of the dragons and then the problems with Azkaban. I understand, but it was very lonely and boring." If someone had told her then that she would be starting her 2026 beside a British guy who had nothing to do with work, Camila knew that she would have laughed.

@ilija