double up

[FELIX CICERO TELLER]

Dubai. Dubai?

For reasons beyond Felix's understanding, his girlfriend had decided to spend her holidays in a falsely made up city in the middle of the desert, leaving him well enough alone and without a New Years kiss. Loathe as he was to admit it, Felix had secretly been excited to finally have someone to ring in the new year with at last. He'd spent Christmas with his sister and father like every other year. When Madeleine had told him that she would be in Dubai for the holidays, his immediate response was "Why there?" He couldn't fathom a worse place to visit - with the plastic veneer over the entire city, including those who visited, Dubai was not a place on Felix's list and he wasn't particularly interested in hearing a word otherwise.

That meant Felix would be spending the Hallmarked holiday alone. He'd originally planned to spend it in front of his fireplace with a glass of his favourite whisky, but reminded himself that wasn't him anymore. Well, it was a bit, but he had to make more effort with people. And so he pulled a jumper over his head, donned a scarf and cloak and swept out into the night, his destination a well known pub within wizarding circles, the Violet Hound. He stuck out his wand arm and was immediately greeted by the gruff voice of the conductor on the Knight Bus. A short, but still nauseating ride later, Felix stumbled off the Knight bus, making a concerted effort to keep the three glasses of whisky he'd already consumed in his stomach.

With less poise than usual, Felix pushed open the doors of the Violet Hound and was greeted by raucous laughter, singing and dancing. The floor was sticky with the remains of spilt drink, a true shame. The party was in full swing, and it was only half ten. Felix glanced around before sidling up to the bar, wondering if he'd recognise any faces. He wished Fee or Madeleine were here to keep him company, but their absence was the reason why he was here. To get out of his comfort zone.

"A double measure of Glenfiddich, neat please," said Felix to the bartender, passing over the appropriate coinage to pay. Maybe he would still spend his evening at the bottom of a whisky glass, considering how very involved all the other patrons were in themselves and their own guests.

[Bianca Alia Rivera]

31 December 2025

New Year’s Eve. A time of celebration for some, and of reflection for others. Bianca fit more neatly into the second category, if only because she didn’t find many occasions to celebrate these days. The last two years of her life had been a blur of work and taking on Heliopath missions during her rare time away from the Ministry. Anything to avoid finding herself with more time on her hands than could be filled, which inevitably gave her the opportunity to think about forbidden topics like home. It was better not to give into the temptation, so Bianca had seized the chance to attend the first New Year’s party she’d overheard about during work.

Still, parties like this weren’t exactly her scene. Everybody here was celebrating something, the end of one year and the start of another. Maybe they were reminiscing about the good moments, or hopefully anticipating what 2026 would bring. Bianca wasn’t in the mood for speculation, so instead she sat glumly at the bar and reflected on all the important anniversaries that fell during December and January. The first one being, of course, the fall of Azkaban and the chaotic aftermath of recapturing the escaped inmates. A project that, over a year later, hadn’t yielded the sort of results she might have hoped for. The second milestone was more personal – her decision to transfer into the Recapture Unit and officially reenter the field. That decision had been a long time coming, although Bianca had delayed the inevitable as much as possible until she had no longer been able to ignore the implications of choosing a desk job over fieldwork. Namely, her complicity in allowing escaped prisoners to cause chaos and hurt innocent people.

No, eventually she hadn’t been able to ignore the fact that she was more useful hunting them down, and this time doing it her way. Neither of these topics suited the festive mood at the Violet Hound, but Bianca dwelled on them anyway since it was better than the alternative. Despite the temptation of becoming drunk, Bianca had been nursing non-alcoholic drinks only since she’d arrived – the desire to be alert outweighed the release of being tipsy. Her peace was disturbed when a stranger took the stool next to hers and began to chat her up – invading her personal space with the smell of whiskey on his breath. Bianca shot him a look of disgust and stood promptly, sidestepping him to walk all the way around to the other side of the bar. “What is it about holidays that bring out the worst in people,” Bianca grumbled to herself as she sat down at the last unoccupied seat.

FELIX CICERO TELLER

[FELIX CICERO TELLER]

The bartender deftly passed Felix a glass, and he took a long, thoughtful sip. He considered once more what had possessed him to make this trip, then remembered the dying embers of his mother's light as she faded away from them. How his sister faced devastation at the loss of her child. Without others, who were we really? Felix looked up as the crowd started up an off key rendition of Fairytale of New York, and grimaced. At least they were having a good time. He supposed a bit of liquid courage would assist in loosening him up, and drained the rest of his glass in one gulp. He didn't like drinking whisky too fast, preferring instead to savour the peaty, smoky tones. But tonight was different. And it wasn't like he was drinking top shelf stuff.

With a nod, Felix received a second order of whisky, and knocked back half the amber liquid in one gulp. He watched the crowd singing and dancing, clinking their glasses and laughing. A half smile crept onto his lips as he remembered the last time he'd gone out to the pub with Madeleine and her friends. The girls had at first appeared much more prim and put together than his lovely but somewhat eccentric Madeleine, but that appearance had dwindled as quickly as their drinks. They'd ended up at a karaoke bar and ended the night at Madeleine's airy flat, drinking champagne and smoking among other things. The whole night had been tracked for close friends to watch online. Madeleine had given Felix a mobile phone, and instructed him on how to use it. She thought it was cute, his unfamiliarity with technology. He knew basically only how to text, email and check instagram. That was more than enough. The thing hardly worked as he went about his wizarding life.

As the thought passed through his head, Felix absently pulled the mobile from his pocket and checked it. There was a message from Madeleinie - miss you x. The New Year had come and past in Dubai, but the mobile's signal went haywire with the magic of Horizont Alley. He tucked the mobile away, sipping his whisky and glancing to his side. A girl had pulled up a stool, seemingly the only one left in the bar, and spoke aloud to no one in particular. Felix smirked. "Don't suppose it's the drinking, do you?" he asked, angling himself so that he could face her. "And yet here we both are, spending the dwindling hours of 2025 in the company of complete strangers as if we have nothing better to do."

Bianca Alia Rivera

[Bianca Alia Rivera]

Having finally found somewhere where she could – hopefully – spend the night in peace, Bianca got the bartender’s attention again and ordered a sparkling cider. It wasn’t her usual order, but it was New Year’s Eve and if she wasn’t going to drink she should at least do something to acknowledge the date. It was still a couple hours until midnight, so the crowd wasn’t as rowdy as might be expected. That fact was sure to change the closer they got to midnight, and she considered briefly whether she would even stay for the countdown. There was something about seeing a group of happy people that could remind someone how distinctly unhappy they were. A fact she could usually ignore, although that might prove difficult tonight.

She had mumbled her question into her drink, not really anticipating an answer, so she was jerked out of an almost-hypnotic state by an unexpected response. Bianca snapped to attention, berated herself mentally for a moment in not taking the time to observe her neighbors, and turned stoically to see who had answered. Interestingly enough, his face seemed familiar, like she had passed him in a hallway somewhere before – although she was certain they didn’t work together in the same department. Bianca shrugged dismissively. “Or perhaps people expect looser morals from others on the last day of the year. No tomorrow, and all that.” The disapproval in her tone was evident enough, as was the thought that Bianca would ever behave like that. She did at times engage in less than noble behavior – but never for personal reasons. If she needed to rough up an escaped inmate at times to learn more in the continuous hunt for the others – well, it was better than letting than information go to waste. And it had absolutely no connection at all to how she conducted herself in her private life, holding herself to a higher standard than most people seemed inclined to do with themselves.

Bianca raised an eyebrow at that last statement. It was right on the edge between a detached observation and a judgment of people who spent New Year’s alone. In the end, she chose brutal honesty. She had very little interest in playing games with her words, especially with a stranger, and really she didn’t care what sort of impression she formed. She sipped her drink, then observed, “Some people don’t have anything better to do. They don’t have anything to celebrate, or anyone to celebrate with. Which are you?”

FELIX CICERO TELLER

[FELIX CICERO TELLER]

Checking his mobile didn't make Felix feel better, as he thought it might. The half-hearted message from his girlfriend instead perturbed him. She hadn't rung him at the New Year. Then again, they'd spoken on the phone only yesterday. Truly, he must be cracking up. They'd been going out for just six months, but already Madeleine felt like a permanent part of his life. Therefore, the whole winter holiday in the desert without him felt a bit like abandonment. Actually facing his loneliness was uncharacteristic for Felix.

A young woman pulled up the stool next to him, and murmured something about the holidays bringing out the worst in people. Felix replied in kind, and she shot back a bitterly cold remark. Felix mulled over her words for a moment, draining his whisky and signalling for another one. It wasn't until he had a fresh glass in hand that Felix responded. "Walking the line of both, I'd say," said Felix slowly. "The end of the year doesn't really mean anything anyways. After all, in the scope of all things it's just the passage of time. It will go one long after we're both gone. So why celebrate it?" he added. Felix paused, taking a sip.

"I'm not going to ask why you're here alone. Frankly, I don't think you'd tell me anyways." Felix racked his brains for something to keep the conversation going, at the urging of a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like his sister. Conversation starters... a flicker of a memory lit up his mind. He remembered Madeleine telling him about this thing called big talk. Felix thought it sounded absolutely ridiculous but... it didn't hurt to try. After all, he only remembered one of the questions. "So er... what's your idea of paradise?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he wanted to take them back. Instead, he looked down at the bar, then at the dancing patrons, essentially anywhere that wasn't at the girl.

Bianca Alia Rivera

[Bianca Alia Rivera]

Bianca adjusted her position on the stool so she was slightly angled towards her new conversation partner, although the movement was barely noticeable. She could move quickly and grandly when she needed to, in pursuit of an escaped inmate. But the rest of the time, she couldn’t bring herself to react much to anything. There were very few things that stirred her interest the way they once had, and she observed passively until the moment she needed to do otherwise. She’d been told more than once she resembled a stiff sentry on duty, but it was what came naturally to her these days.

There was something about the man she was talking to that suggested his mood wasn’t quite right. Perhaps it could be that he was here, talking to her instead of joining the party like everyone around them. But there was something more in his tone and expression that Bianca sought to pinpoint. The nature of her Ministry career meant she needed to read people fast – threat or ally, good or bad intentions, and how much was weighing on their mind that she could pry out with Legilimency. She didn’t use it much in her personal life, so here she was just left guessing. “The end of the year means something because people assign value to it,” she responded slowly, her tone as dull as it had been since the beginning. “A life isn’t defined as one long sequence. It’s divided into chapters, and most people want each one to be better. That’s what a resolution is for, isn’t it?” She’d thought about it that way, once upon a time – that life could be improved and improved. Now she just wanted to survive it.

He was probably right that she wouldn’t share anything about her personal life with him. Bianca was notoriously private, and there was really no reason to share. But when he asked that question out of nowhere – what’s your idea of paradise – Bianca stared. Then she glanced down at her drink – because the only explanation had to be that they were serving drinks mixed with Babbling Beverage. Still, it caused her to examine him more closely, and for the first time Bianca was reminded of Leo. He was awkward around people – which was a shame because he was immensely talented and very sweet – and it seemed like the sort of thing he might say if he didn’t want a conversation to end. Some small part of her heart hadn’t turned to stone yet, and Bianca had never been able to resist someone in need. Even for something as small as this. So she responded resolutely, “Summer 2019. Before shit hit the fan. Back when the world made…sense.” She couldn’t think of a more perfect time in her life, even if it made her ache to think of everything she’d had once. Finishing her trainee period and becoming a full Auror, going home to show off her Auror robes to her father, sitting with Leo in the breakroom and teasing him about his choice in books. Bianca sighed slightly at the heavy question, heavier maybe than he’d realized. “It all seems so far away now.”

FELIX CICERO TELLER

[FELIX CICERO TELLER]

When Felix spoke, there was a measure of weight to his words. Detracting value from human importance. Just because they could think and feel didn't change the grand scope of the universe. Not really. The young woman's response was equally weighty, though with a dull tone assigned to the words. "What we decide has value has little to no meaning to the universe at large. Think of the randomness of events. You really think we can improve upon our chapters just based on pure will?" said Felix, but not in a mocking way. He was more inquisitive - this was the sort of conversation that he did not find very difficult. One that opened the door to sharing ideas. Even if Felix knew that in the grand scheme of things, nothing really mattered. People were born, they lived a certain amount of time, and they died. And everything else kept spinning and happening around them.

Unsurprisingly, the young woman didn't share why she was here alone, so Felix steered their tenuous conversation into different waters. Paradise? What did he even consider to be paradise? The term had been defined in so many ways. To Dante, it was where mortal souls met God after living a virtuous life. To his girlfriend, he imagined it was somewhere on a beach with endless margaritas and instagram opportunities. But what was it to Felix? Surprisingly, he didn't have the chance to think much on it as the woman responded. She stared intensely at him, and he met her gaze with equal intensity. Though rather unkind, Felix found himself interested by this woman. He hadn't had such a meaningful conversation in a long time.

"That must have been some summer, if it is imprinted so firmly in your mind," said Felix. "After all, I can hardly remember what happened six days ago let alone six years," he added, more to himself than anything. "Sometimes I forget. That everything has changed so much. Maybe not in the way you are thinking, but the way turmoil has seemed to rear its ugly head once more. High profile deaths and the like... I just can't seem to bring myself to care much. At the end of the day, we all just exist. And then we return to the void whence we came."

Bianca Alia Rivera

[Bianca Alia Rivera]

He spoke like a philosopher, questioning the meaning of the human experience and the weight of one individual in the greater scope of the universe. What he said was true enough – the entirety of humanity could be reduced to a single grain of sand compared to how ancient and wide the universe was. So in reality, there was nothing an individual could do to change the universe at all, because it had existed long before humans and would continue to exist long after. But she tilted her head slightly at him and regarded him with a sliver of curiosity – while not much, certainly more than she held for anything else at this pub. He spoke like a philosopher, or someone who whittled their time away in the Department of Mysteries. In truth, Bianca had little patience for philosophy or unsolvable mysteries.

She leaned forward. “Maybe you’re right. Pure will does very little to change the future, and certainly nothing at all to impact the universe. That’s an overly ambitious goal, at any rate.” Bianca considered her drink, finishing it off before setting it lightly down on the bar – whether mixed with any questionable potions or not, it was better than letting it go to waste. She continued in the same slow tone as before, shaping each word in her mind before she delivered it. That had been how she had learned English as a child, and some habits were impossible to quit. “But we can be the masters of our immediate environment. With strength of will, and investment into the right skillset, we decide what comes next. And when a random event happens, in your words, we can choose to be cowed or to fight back.” Her expression hardened slightly as she thought about the attack that had taken her out of the field, and her fear at the thought of returning for years. “Weakness is a state of mind, not a state of being.”

Bianca narrowed her eyes – her conversation partner was quite adept at turning the conversation on her, and dodging all the same thoughts himself. He observed detachedly that there was very little meaning in caring, not if everybody just faded away. She ignored his commentary about her answer, as she didn’t much care for the idea of diving into her past and what exactly had made her happy once. The only thing that mattered was that she didn’t have it anymore, and had instead found a different way to define her life and the purpose behind it. He mentioned the recent series of tragedies, and the fact that eventually everybody just returned to the void -- and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “So what? The hardest won lesson of all is that there is no order to the universe. We live in a system of anarchy. Nothing is fated to occur. Sometimes bad things happen, and good people suffer, and there’s no reason why. You could waste your entire life trying to understand why the universe allowed something to happen. Better to learn how to walk again and move on.” At some point Bianca had begun clutching her empty glass tightly as her jaw clenched. She willed herself not to think about her father, or her brother, or even the ugly scars that reminded her that everything could be taken away in one flash of a moment. Instead she regarded her conversation partner coolly. “There are things in your immediate control. It’s unhealthy to obsess over the things that aren’t."

FELIX CICERO TELLER

[FELIX CICERO TELLER]

The young woman spoke slowly and deliberately, as if choosing each word and thought carefully. It was a stark change to many interactions Felix had had in the past. It was one of the reasons why he cared to study the universe rather than engage in conversation. When he had decided to forgo spending the dawn of the new year by his fireside with only a glass of whisky as company and join the celebrations at the Violet Hound, he had not expected to come across someone as thoughtful as she. "You're much more interesting company than I expected to keep this evening," said Felix. "And you're right to think that changing the very fabric of space and time is an overly ambitious goal. One would be exceedingly arrogant to thing that is an achievable goal," he added.

She spoke with passion on changing immediate environments. Whilst humans couldn't impact the universe at large, at least they could choose to face each day or to hide away. "Again, you're not wrong. While you can alter what happens around you, there is no real meaning to it. People keep trying to assign meaning, thinking that being better will lead to a more meaningful life. The dawn of a new year is just another arbitrary point in time. Why not decide to be better and assign meaning to a random Thursday in March? It makes no difference. At the end of all, is there really a deeper meaning to our existence?" Felix stopped himself there, somewhat worried that he was getting too philosophical.

Instead, Felix made eye contact with the bartender, who approached him. "I'll have another whisky, and another drink for the lady as well," said Felix without a hint of a smile. "A double Glenfiddich and a sparkling cider," said the bartender, and Felix passed him the money with a nod of thanks. He glanced at the young woman with an arched brow. "Sparkling cider? I thought this evening was about letting loose in promise of being better next year?" he quipped. He sipped the amber liquid, mulling over her words. "But things you control ultimately lead to the same outcome. Everybody dies. I suppose assigning meaning to arbitrary things is the way that we keep our hope, and our thoughts away from such a morbid idea." Felix stopped himself again, and took another drink. "I'm Felix, by the way," he said abruptly, very much out of his usual aloof fashion.

Bianca Alia Rivera

[Bianca Alia Rivera]

Bianca quirked an eyebrow as her conversation partner commented that she was better company than he’d been expecting. She supposed he meant it as a compliment, although the line had been delivered with the tone-deaf standard of someone who didn’t talk to other people much. From everything she’d observed of his demeanor so far in their brief, if not deep, conversation – Bianca decided he must be the sort that had many intelligent thoughts and few people to share them with. “I’m thrilled to be your entertainment this evening,” Bianca replied, although the inflection in her voice didn’t change and she delivered the line with the same stony tone she’d been using all evening. She would have said more, but he’d once again switched back to their unusual (although admittedly interesting) conversation about free will.

“Does there need to be a deeper meaning?” Bianca asked, studying the philosopher’s face as he wondered about why people tried to assign meaning to their life. “Let’s assume you are correct, contrary to common expectations.” It was a subtle barb at him, although she didn’t accompany the jab with a smile or anything to showcase her amusement. “Every person exists, and lives their life. There are some things they can change, and some they can’t. Some people they can influence, others who come and change them. At the end of their story, they die, and that is the final page. In a hundred years, there is nobody left who remembers them, and no sign of any lasting impact they ever made.” Bianca paused to contemplate the scenario, then shrugged as she gazed intently at the man. “Does that mean their life was never worth living at all?” She continued without letting him answer. “If we follow your stream of thought, then a life is worth the same whether someone lives isolated away in a cave, or deeply involved in their pocket of society. It would be much less effort to hide from the world than to join it. So why bother attending a New Year’s Eve party at all? Or ordering your favorite drink? Or having a conversation at the bar?”

Her eyes drifted from her empty glass to the bartender, and she gave a huff of annoyance as he raised an eyebrow at her and her choice of drink. As if she needed to explain herself to a stranger, particularly on a topic like why she’d chosen cider instead of wine. But she couldn’t resist a challenge, and sometimes Bianca failed to weigh all the consequences of an action before she took it. So she raised a hand at the bartender to stop him, and said instead, “I’ll have what he’s having.” She never tolerated being outdone in anything, and she shot him a challenging look as she accepted the new drink. “I prefer to think that some lives have more meaning than others because we choose to make it so. I don't believe in wasting even a single opportunity that could change a life. It becomes worth it for the good you can do in the moment, however brief or ultimately meaningless it might be.”

“Bianca,” she responded curtly as Felix introduced himself – it hadn’t occurred to her to ask for his name, but she didn’t hesitate in responding anyway. She tried a small sip of the drink and shot a look of admiration at the glass. Then she redirected her full attention back to him. “So, Felix,” she began, putting a purposeful stress on his name as she leaned forward in interest, “It hasn’t escaped my attention that you have yet to share your idea of paradise.”

FELIX CICERO TELLER

[FELIX CICERO TELLER]

The woman responded to Felix's comment about being more interesting than he'd expected from the evening in a tone that made even him doubt his own sincerity. After all, he'd come here mainly to forget about his girlfriend traipsing about in Dubai, probably wearing napkin sized swimmers. He hadn't even intended to strike up a conversation until he was at least 4 more drinks in, and yet here he was, having what could only be called an existential crisis conversation with a perfect stranger. Though now he thought of it, she did look vaguely familiar. Felix had no idea where he could have seen her before though.

Felix arched a brow at her jibe, however subtle it was. He was often correct, particularly about things he spent his life work struggling to understand. However, he did suppose that his philosophising was taking it a few steps too far. She painted a picture of a scenario, one of being forgotten after having lived an unremarkable life. "That is to ask if any life is worth living at all. One so easily forgotten, though perhaps they thought it was meaningful in life. In the grand scheme of things, no. Life is not worth living." said Felix. He couldn't help the small smile that crawled across his face at her next comment.

"You and I know there is no true point to this conversation, to these drinks, to this evening in general." On mentioning the drink, Felix lifted his glass to her in a salute, then took a long drink. "I can philosophise all I want. I can have my opinions. But at the end of the day, I too am only human. And even though nothing really matters, I want it to matter. Thus, here we are. The end of another year, the thrill of starting anew." Another sip as he mulled over his thoughts. Their drinks finished, Felix started to order another round before he was stopped by his companion.

Impressed by her unflinching approach to ordering a whisky, Felix realised that this woman was a force to be reckoned with. She was self assured and confident, and unwilling to be swayed by his theories. He appraised her thoughtfully. "Why should some lives have more meaning than others though? Does it not depend on the random hand the universe has delivered to you? Does it not depend on your circumstances? Does somebody with opportunities knocking left, right and centre at their doorstep have a more meaningful life than someone who has struggled throughout life to achieve only something so small and insignificant, it's forgotten in moments? Do witches and wizards have more opportunities to make a meaningful life, so to speak, than muggles?" said Felix, intending to challenge her but wondering if he was just insulting instead. He didn't know if she, like him, had muggle heritage, or if she was a nutty blood purist.

With a slight grin, Felix shook his head. "You see, I was driving the conversation away from that purposefully, Bianca," said Felix, testing her name out. It was nice - he'd never come across anyone called Bianca before. It reminded him of a rabbit for some reason. "And the reason why I so deftly avoided answering this is because I honestly don't know what I imagine paradise to be. Maybe that's my paradise. Knowing what it is," said Felix thoughtfully, taking a musing sip of his whisky.

Bianca Alia Rivera

[Bianca Alia Rivera]

At several points in the conversation, Felix had included small phrases acknowledging her points or admitting she might be correct in certain respects. It wasn’t quite enough for Bianca, who preferred a complete victory in any argument she chose to pursue – which usually meant all of them, as she wasn’t known for letting anything go. Still, despite those acknowledgments, there was a certain rigidity to Felix that suggested he had already decided on everything that mattered, and the only thing left was to see things through. As they had only met a few minutes ago, and Bianca lacked the context that years of friendship (or a few seconds of Legilimency) could give her, she could only guess at what drove him forward in life. That seemed like too unattainable an answer, even in a conversation as heavy as this one.

He asked her a series of questions – why should some lives have more meaning than others? Wasn’t it all based on account of what someone was born into? Were wizards given more opportunities than Muggles? The last question was particularly interesting to her, if only because her parents were Muggles and until the age of 11 it had been the only world she’d ever known. Her mother’s life was small, contained only to her neighborhood of a large city in a vast world. Before her father’s death, he too had only been one insignificant cog inside a larger machine. And yet, Bianca knew he had made an impact. For the families of the murder victims he had investigated, for every robbery he had prevented, and especially in how he had inspired her to want to do the same.

But Bianca sensed an imminent victory, and she focused her attention entirely on that. So she set aside the (painful) topic of her parents and other reminders of home, and instead quirked her lips slightly into a half-smile. “Why do some lives have more meaning than others? I believe you’ve answered your own question, Felix.” She leaned forward slightly as she recalled exactly how he had phrased it earlier – one of the most important qualities for law enforcement officers was a good memory, and the ability to notice irregularities in the testimonies of their witnesses. “Because even though nothing really matters, you want it to matter. And that is a hell of a lot more than most people will ever realize.” In the end, nothing about a life could ever change until that person realized they wanted it to. And, much later, realizing that they had the power as well.

Ultimately, Bianca didn’t spend too much of her time questioning the meaning of life or the universe. She preferred more tangible problems with solutions that could eventually be puzzled out – or put behind bars, as necessary. She mirrored Felix as he took a sip of his whiskey, and eventually decided she needed another. The clock was ticking towards midnight, and Bianca was ready to set aside and forget about 2025. Bianca tilted her head thoughtfully at Felix as he tested her name, weighing it with the same consideration he had given to questioning the meaning of a human life. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can accept your answer,” Bianca replied, amusement lacing her tone. “Whether or not it can be accomplished, everybody has an ideal in their mind. The climax of what their life should be. A time, or a place, or a person. And I find it difficult to believe that someone who has spent so much time wondering what gives life meaning can’t answer what would make him happy.” She closed the distance between them, shifting on her stool so she was facing him completely. She repeated slowly, “What’s your idea of paradise, Felix?”

FELIX CICERO TELLER

[FELIX CICERO TELLER]

Felix grinned. Bianca had won, fully and undeniably. He had to admit that he had led her to this point with his musings, but her victory was her own. "That's exactly it, isn't it. I philosophise all I want. But in the end, I am struck with the same curse as you, as the bartender, as everyone in this world. I'm only human, and I so desperately want things to matter. The universe would disagree. Actually, I do often wonder if the universe has a sentience we haven't yet discovered. If this is all some twisted form of humour." Felix shrugged. "Another question for another day." And with that, the discussion on meaning, morality and life itself came to a close.

Felix nearly spat out his whisky at Bianca's refusal to accept his response regarding paradise. He didn't know what he considered paradise to be, despite posing the weighty question to her. He swallowed, and coughed as the liquid burned its way down his throat. "But is paradise the climax of life? Or simply a stop along the way that makes the climb to the top easier?" Felix replied after a moment. His life had been wholly uneventful up until this point. The events that had changed the course of his future were not happy ones. But he did have to say that he liked the course he was on better than the one he'd previously followed. Felix swirled his amber drink, taking a long, thoughtful sip.

"When I was sixteen, our family took a trip to Svalbard. Y'know those super northern islands that are part of Norway? I'd insisted on going for so long, and neither my mum or my dad or my sister really knew why. But for me, I'd researched all these places in the world, and Svalbard seemed to be the closest place to touch the rest of the universe. To become a part of something bigger. The sky was so vast and clear, it was just after Christmas. The darkest time of year, and yet an almost magical light lit the snow covered island. The Aurora Borealis... I've never seen anything quite as beautiful. And never felt so small," said Felix, his mind drawing him back to the exact moment, his eyes wide with wonder as they reflected the phenomenon above him.

Blinking, Felix remembered he was in a bar, in the middle of London, speaking to a woman he hardly knew. And yet, he had never felt as close to paradise as he had then but in this very moment. His cheeks flushed, and he finished off his drink, knowing another whisky would further loosen his tongue but that it would also erase the slight shame he felt at admitting his own paradise was so solitary. So he ordered another one. Clearing his throat, Felix glanced at the clock. It was half an hour to midnight, so strange that the time had passed so quickly during their conversation. the bartender plonked another glass in front of Felix, who immediately drank. "Do you have any siblings? asked Felix, wondering if she had a bond with someone the way he did with Fee.

Bianca Alia Rivera

[Bianca Alia Rivera]

Bianca was a particularly difficult person to please, but she couldn’t deny the pleased amusement that settled on her face as she watched Felix choke on his whiskey. He seemed almost as grim and determined as she was, someone who had settled with certainty on their life mission. At any rate, his reaction seemed to indicate that he wasn’t challenged often, and well – Bianca lived to defy expectations.

“Isn’t it?” she responded as Felix asked whether paradise was the climax of life. “We can experience scattered moments of happiness, but paradise supersedes everything else. It’s what we want most, a moment where everything comes together for one simple, perfect second. It would stand to reason that everything that comes after is only…a descent.” Bianca paused to consider Felix’s words as she impassively regarded the remaining liquid in her glass. “Unless you’re suggesting there is something after paradise? Something better at the top?” She furrowed her brow in thought. She had long since accepted that the best time in her life was over. It had gone into the ground with her father and her career as an Auror. She had found a new way to get by, a job to fill most of her time and a faction that needed her for the rest. She didn’t have the same faith now in the world, only a new certainty that life could be distilled to a few important moments of action or inaction, and justice could only be found at the tip of a wand. It was...troubling to wonder, after everything, if the best could still be ahead of her.

She listened intently as Felix gave his new answer, although her attention was fixed less on his words and more towards the expression on his face. For a man who had established himself as irreverent and cynical, the look of wonder he wore now seemed at odds with everything that had been said before. Bianca had never been curious about strangers she encountered outside of work. She dabbled in psychology occasionally, to understand a criminal’s motives or track down a missing person. But she had never wondered what thoughts ran through strangers’ minds as she passed them on the street. Still, now she studied Felix’s face closely and wondered how recent his cynicism was – and if there was some inner piece that didn’t often have the chance to speak that was more hopeful. “I’ve never been,” Bianca began slowly, fingers tracing the rim of her glass. “I don’t think I’ve ever been somewhere that’s captivated me like Svalbard has captured you.” She could admire the depth of emotion he had seemed to tap into, although she despised the cold and the way it seemed to affect her more than any Brit.

The whiskey must have been doing its job – Bianca felt more relaxed than she had in ages. But she tensed as Felix asked about siblings, and her face hardened at the thought of her brother. She gave a shaky exhale and downed the rest of her whiskey with a grimace to settle her nerves. Bianca did everything in her power not to think about Marco. She’d been too young to remember her brother before he’d gotten absorbed in drugs, and women, and his troubled group of friends that seemed unable to stay out of trouble. But ever since she’d gotten her hands on the police report from two years ago, he had since become as good as dead to her. “No,” Bianca said sharply, “No siblings.” The bartender replaced her empty glass with a new one, and she took another sip to avoid saying anything else. Her brother was the most forbidden topic she could think of, so Bianca exhaled again and pivoted the conversation away. “Maybe your resolution should be to go back to Svalbard. Not so many people are lucky enough to have the opportunity to revisit paradise.” The whiskey was still softening her rough edges, as her usual tendency to give orders had been replaced instead by questions and suggestions.

FELIX CICERO TELLER

[FELIX CICERO TELLER]

Felix contemplated Bianca over the rim of his glass. He considered his next words carefully. "Well, how do you know you've reached the peak if you can't know the future? You could think you've reached paradise, and yet something so much more amazing and meaningful could be waiting around the bend." The corners of Felix's lips curved upwards at his own emphasis on meaning. A slight callback to their previous conversation. Nonetheless, this was no less interesting. "Anyways, it's impossible to affix such a heavy meaning to a single point in time. Defining something as paradise dulls the meaning of it. Shouldn't it be a concept to aspire to, never to be reached? To go through so much trouble and toil, and yet still perhaps be just an inch away..." He was rambling again. He stopped himself and took a sip, before Felix did exactly the opposite of what he had previously said.

Felix told Bianca about paradise.

"In that moment, the very moment I first looked at the sky and saw the interaction, it felt like everything else floated away. I didn't notice it was well below freezing, that I was sweating inside the layers of jumpers, that the wind howled and the inhabitants of the island wouldn't see daylight for another month at least. It felt like nothing else mattered." Felix had never really minded the cold anyways, much preferring it to the discomfort of overheating. "I hope someday you will find that place. And then you will realise perhaps the best is yet to come," Felix added with a genuine smile.

Thinking it would make for idle conversation, Felix asked Bianca if she had any siblings. He could only hope that she had someone as close to him as Fee. If he hadn't been contemplating her, watching her so closely and completely captivated, Felix wouldn't have noticed how she tensed. But he was watching, and she gave him a short answer that told Felix he was digging in places he shouldn't. Felix let the topic lie - he had never been one to push for uncomfortable conversation. In fact, he would usually just walk away. But Bianca was kind enough to stay, so Felix indulged himself in another drink. His head was shockingly clear, as if the moment of tension had cut through his haze like a knife.

Bianca's suggestion was not a bad one. And Felix would certainly revisit Svalbard, perhaps not in midwinter though. "Well, who knows if it actually is paradise? Something better could be around the bend," said Felix, echoing his earlier sentiments. "I think my next stop will be Patagonia. I would love to be surrounded by that natural beauty. To climb atop a mountain and touch the sky. To see the blues and pinks and greens paint the stars, to come close to the universe in a completely opposite way as before...' he trailed off, lost in the image he drew in his own mind. Yes, to see the southern lights phenomenon would truly be another slice of paradise. He snapped to attention and took a long drink. Felix considered the remaining liquid before draining it. "How can you ever know what paradise is before the end of your life? Is it not something to reflect upon?"

Bianca Alia Rivera