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last online Apr 27, 2024 9:35:59 GMT -7
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Jan 14, 2021 20:39:18 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2021 20:39:18 GMT -7
January 3, 2026 @viola
Viola looked so conflicted. No surprise... Considering their... history. And yet here they were. Maria's heart aching for more. Aching for everything they'd once had but also terrified by how quickly the emotions had come flooding back. How intense the feelings were despite how much time had past. Viola's glance away wasn't lost on Maria. Maria knew where Viola's gaze had gone. And god she wanted to kiss them. Their gaze was practically an invitation. Begging her to take it. Viola didn't though, didn't kiss Maria, that was. It only made Maria want to kiss them more.
Maria didn't feel Viola's icy touch on her back. Her winter jacket was perfectly warding off the frost. She almost wondered what it might feel like against her skin. Not just hands. God, her thoughts were going to a place they shouldn't with Viola, as they'd never gone that far. Thankfully, Viola speaking helped distract her from her... curiosity. Though she didn't like what Viola had said. Thanking her, but saying they didn't deserve it. Maria yanked her head back breaking the contact of their foreheads so that she could give Viola a very dirty and annoyed look. "What's that supposed to mean?" She definitely sounded annoyed. Didn't deserve it?! Viola fucking deserved everything. Maria scowled, very much frustrated by this sudden lack of confidence in Viola.
Then, purely on impulse, and partially because she was pissed and needed to prove Viola very wrong, Maria kissed them. Pressing her lips against Viola's own in a very angry kiss. And Maria realized in that moment that she definitely should not have done that. Because every single kiss they'd shared before that came rushing back to her.
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last online Apr 27, 2024 9:35:59 GMT -7
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Jan 14, 2021 20:50:22 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2021 20:50:22 GMT -7
Viola tried to gather their thoughts, but it was difficult to string anything together when Maria was so close. It was hard to explain how much they had changed since the explosion – since the breakup, really. Maria had been the first thing Viola had genuinely been afraid to lose, and then actually lost. That changed someone. So did seeing all your classmates burn and nearly drowning yourself. And then there was just plain old growing up – growing old. Why had Viola – petty, blunt, occasionally bitchy Viola – been the one to survive when so many of their classmates hadn’t? It was a swirl and they wanted to explain to Maria that they didn’t deserve anything, but before they could come up with anything coherent, Maria was kissing them.
Viola made a soft, strangled noise into Maria’s mouth, but clutched her closer nonetheless. This was the last change they’d get to kiss her, they were sure of it, and they wanted it to be a good one. It was furious and frantic and shouldn’t have felt as good as it did, and Viola just wanted more.
“Shit,” they panted when they broke away. “I thought –” And there it was again – the inability to express their thoughts in any coherent manner. So, they did the logical (totally illogical) thing and kissed Maria again.
@maria
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last online Apr 27, 2024 9:35:59 GMT -7
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Jan 14, 2021 21:03:42 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2021 21:03:42 GMT -7
January 3, 2026 @viola
Kissing the person that Maria had broken the heart of wasn't a great idea. In fact, it was a flat out stupid idea. Maria had dumped them. Epically. Left Viola heartbroken and left to figure out how to put the pieces back together. But it had never been because Maria didn't have feelings for Viola. Maria did. Feelings so strong that they scared her half to death. Because Maria didn't get attached to people. Didn't trust herself to. People she grew attached to got hurt. It was inevitable. You played with fire enough and you would eventually get burned. Figurately and literally. Maria had burned Viola both ways.
And yet? It as the most right decision Maria could make Because how come it be bad when it felt like this? Maria was no stranger to kissing. Not by a long shot. But kissing Viola was different. Somehow kissing a stranger, and kissing someone you actually felt deep emotions for was entirely different. Viola was clearly surprised by the move as they made a soft sound against her lips before kissing her back. Kissing her back with that same intensity and desperation.
Viola was the one to break the kiss, and in infuriated Maria. She didn't want to stop kissing them. But she would. Because it was Viola that had broken it. Then, they tried speaking, though it pissed her off. Because it reminded her that Maria had been the one to break up with Viola. Viola probably thought all Maria's feelings for them were gone. "Just shut up," she muttered right before Viola initiated the next kiss. Well, that solved that problem. Maria held onto Viola and pushed harder into the kiss. It was like a year and a half of pent up feelings had broken free and goddammit, she wasn't going to miss this opportunity! Not when Viola was right here. With her.
Maria broke the kiss this time. She gave Viola a very stern glare. "Don't you dare say you don't deserve it again, Viola." She demanded. While her tone and look were harsh, there was almost a longing to them. "Because goddammit, you deserve fucking everything."
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last online Apr 27, 2024 9:35:59 GMT -7
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Jan 14, 2021 21:15:23 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2021 21:15:23 GMT -7
This was what they should have been doing all along. Screw talking, they should have been kissing. Viola could talk to anyone, but Maria was the only person they could kiss like this. Though she was also the only person Viola could talk to the way they did - without any fear or uncertainty. Everyone else had proven they didn’t like the way Viola talked, acted, thoughts. Maria had been different... until she hadn’t been. But she had to know that Viola wasn’t going to fall into bed with her, wouldn’t be content just being one of her fuck buddies. That was never how they had done things.
“I haven’t gotten what I deserved since you left,” Viola said, voice hoarse. ”If I deserve everything, why won’t you just let me have you? I want you.” In that moment, Viola almost felt like their old self again. They said what they wanted, unabashedly, unashamedly, and it felt good. There were a few words still stuck in Viola’s throat, but it didn’t take a Legilimens to figure out what they were.
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last online Apr 27, 2024 9:35:59 GMT -7
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Jan 14, 2021 21:45:50 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2021 21:45:50 GMT -7
January 3, 2026 @viola
Maria hadn't broken up with Viola because she didn't want to be with them. She'd broken up with them because she wanted to be with them. As twisted as that logic was. She'd realized that she'd fallen head over heels for Viola. She'd fallen... in love with them. A word that Maria never used. The word made Maria run for the hills. Because love meant she cared so deeply for someone that she'd be hurt when something happened. When they left. When they abandoned her. And they would abandon her. Someday. Someone as broken and dysfunctional as Maria wasn't meant to be loved. Not long term. People would find someone better than her.
So, Viola's words made he swallow hard. God, even a year and a half apart made it impossible to deny Viola. Just the sound of their voice. Especially then. When they sounded like their old self. Not that she expected their old self. But those traits that Maria had adored about them. Their forwardness. Unashamed and unflinching. She didn't want to tell Viola no. That Maria didn't want them. Because she desperately wanted them. Every single day since the break up. "You shouldn't want me. Not after everything I've done," she finally forced herself to say. No, Viola shouldn't. Not after everything. God, especially not now.. No matter how much Maria wanted Viola. And the way she spoke... It was almost a warning to herself. To reminder herself why she shouldn't admit how desperately she wanted Viola too.
And that's when she felt the wave of emotion. It must be the extra hormones. When she'd spoken to Rhys about the situation her fear had somehow transformed into anger. When she'd seen the healer, she'd somehow remained completely composed. But Viola? She couldn't just mask all these emotions behind her anger. Viola could see right through them. The shame of being pregnant to begin with. The fear of what was happening and what was to come. "Viola, I'm pregnant."
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last online Apr 27, 2024 9:35:59 GMT -7
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Jan 15, 2021 7:43:00 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2021 7:43:00 GMT -7
This was frustrating. Frustrating, because Viola could feel how close Maria was to just… understanding. Understanding that she was what they wanted, and they didn’t care what she’d done. They’d wanted her even when they hadn’t known anything about her, and the more they’d learned the more they’d wanted her. Even after she’d burned them, they’d wanted her. It wasn’t her fault. Nothing bad about her was her fault – it was the fault of the people who let her believe she was bad, and wrong, and unlovable. “You don’t get to decide what I want, Maria. You know that.” They wanted to hope that Maria insisting that Viola shouldn’t want her was a good thing – that maybe it meant she wanted them to, and this was the only argument she had against the two of them being together again.
Or, maybe not. Pregnant? Viola opened their mouth, but before they could do something they regretted – like ask who the father was and potentially get themself angry enough to be sent to Azkaban – they shut it again. “Are you okay?” Viola asked after a long pause. They couldn’t imagine their Maria wanting to be a mother, but… things had changed.
@maria
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last online Apr 27, 2024 9:35:59 GMT -7
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Jan 15, 2021 10:17:30 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2021 10:17:30 GMT -7
January 3, 2026 @viola
Viola was right to think that Maria was only saying these things to try and stop herself from saying yes. Because, god, she wanted to say yes. Maria had always been terrible at refusing or denying Viola. It was like an infatuated puppy that would do anything to please their owner. It seemed the only reason she hadn't immediately jumped at the chance was a year and a half of self control. Spending enough time apart that she could rebuild as many defenses as she could. Defenses that Viola had torn down the first time they were together, and defenses that were being torn down with ease now. "I know," she started to respond. Viola was a stubborn one. Stupid for wanting Maria, most definitely, but stubborn. Maria knew she couldn't persuaded Viola to change their mind. It would be like trying to move a mount. A very sarcastic, blunt, mountain. "Maybe I just don't want you to get hurt again." Because Viola would get hurt again. No doubt about it. If she let them in.
Well, Viola took that... better than expected. Maria had expected some sort of quick reaction. A demand to know the father, or at the very least a stunned "what". Maria didn't realize how... scared she was to tell them. To admit that she'd done something extra stupid this time that would have very lasting consequences. And yet, after a long moment, all Viola asked was... if she was okay. Maria blinked several times in stunned surprise. Then, she couldn't help but laugh. She buried her face in Viola's shoulder again, laughing softly. Hell no, she wasn't okay. It wasn't like it was intentional after all! "Am I ever okay?" She finally mustered to ask. It wasn't a "No I'm not okay", but Maria wasn't always that good at straightforward answers. It still meant no, regardless. As Viola had always been able to see past her conversation evasion tactics.
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