born from just one single glance | raphael

[addilyn elara slater]

Take the words for what they are

A dwindling, mercurial high

September 12, 2025
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

Addy felt…distracted. It was frustrating because Addy was always so focused and so on top of what she needed to be doing. So far, she had managed to convince herself it was because she was still upset at Quidditch Captain situation. It was supposed to be her time to shine, especially since she’d been solidly on the team since her second year. But she’d just have to accept it and move on. These things were announced in the summer, and the only reason she had been slightly grateful was that it had been an excuse to talk to her best friends. Brígh was still at home, much to their dismay, but she still had Raphael to talk to. With Brígh gone, their trio was basically just the two of them. That was fine, of course, they were best friends individually, but the summer had been….eventful. It was like the more she tried to understand what had happened, the more she just didn’t understand. Not that it was a bad experience, and if there was anyone she trusted, it was her best friend, but it had been new territory, and now she just felt…awkward.

Still, when she got the news about Captain she’d done what her instincts told her to do and her habits, and she’d written both her best friends. They’d responded with equal fury at the situation, and that had helped her feel better, but she was just trying to be normal now. Addy walked the grounds enjoying the fall weather, and the free time she knew would not last when practices started, chess club, and her NEWT level homework. Plus, she did what she always did and bothered her friends about their own homework. There was always some spots near the pond that she’d come and find when she needed the quiet that not even the Library could provide, usually when she was swamped but not that it ever stopped Cheese and Brígh from finding her. There was a tree with a view of the lake but somewhat in the shade, and she sat down with her back against it and her knees up so she could lean her arms on them.

Sighing, she thought about the summertime. The first shock had been the fact that Raphael had grown about half a foot and now towered over her. Suddenly this boy that had been her friend for all these years was turning into a man. Then when she’d pushed down her awkward feelings on the first of the month as they found one another on the platform, she realized he had grown another half a foot. Still, he was her best friend—someone she could always rely on to be there and to talk to, and things seemed to be alright despite it all. But how does one just go back to ‘normal’ after hooking up with your best friend in a very much ‘heat of the moment’ situation? Addy knew she wouldn’t find the answer in a textbook but she also wasn’t sure how to talk to Brígh about this or if this would have her sprinting back to school entirely on foot as a response. Addy heard the sound of voices and saw a group of students walk by. They didn’t see her but then she looked over and saw a familiar yellow tie on a very tall boy. He was looking at something, probably seeing a possible good shot for his photography, and she called out over in a loud voice so he would hear. ”I’m assuming this means you’ve finished your homework already?”

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

12 September 2025

Rafe was worried about Addy. To be fair, he was equally worried about both his friends, but Brígh was far away and there were no obvious signs that she was coming back soon. She didn’t write often, at least not often enough, so he spent a lot of time thinking about her and wondering how much she was holding back. The only thing Rafe could really do in response was write every week, and sometimes include some of the better photographs he’d taken. Not that he was afraid Brígh would forget what Hogwarts looked like, but it must be lonely to be homeschooled. It was already lonely enough here, in the middle of most of Britain’s wizarding youth.

So he spent most of the time worrying about the problems right in front of him – although things like homework or exams rarely made that list. He just…wasn’t interested. Addy kept him on-track for the core classes, and she was definitely the biggest reason he’d passed enough of his OWLs to start on the NEWT-level track. But he wasn’t invested in anything more than getting enough of a passing grade that it wouldn’t become a serious obstacle later. Raphael was almost glad for it. There were a lot of big personalities in his year, plenty of students vying for the coveted spot of being best in the year. The only reason he could get along with most of his classmates was because he wasn’t considered serious competition for it. That’s why he was worried. The first shock had come in fifth-year, when the prefects were announced and another Slytherin girl had been chosen over Addy. But that was bearable, if only because everybody knew the big-ticket items came in seventh-year anyway. But then she’d been hit with the twin shocks of Head Girl and Slytherin Quidditch Captain going to other students, and…Addy was a competitive person. She had a killer instinct that served her well most of the time, but it meant failure hit her harder than for other people. And Rafe wanted to be there for her, he really did…which was why he was so upset with himself that he’d let his stupid feelings get in the way of things.

It was impossible to be best friends with two attractive girls and not notice it, especially when one went away for a long time and left the other two alone. But that wasn’t it, exactly…he couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he’d started blushing around Addy, or getting tongue-tied and saying stupid things (well, more than normal, anyway). But this summer, he’d thought something might finally happen. And it had, in a sense. Just not exactly what he had hoped for. So yeah. It was impossible to fully support and be there for his friend, especially since Quidditch practice would be starting soon, when their dynamic hadn’t gone back to what it was before. He couldn’t be sure what that night had been for her – stress relief, probably – but it hadn't been nothing to him, and the fact still remained that he knew he wanted something different than what she was looking for. He sighed at the thought. Addy and her no-distractions approach to their last year at Hogwarts.

She’d seemingly disappeared, so after escaping class Raphael started to check all the normal spots. He brought his camera too, because why not? Somehow he’d gotten bullied into being the photographer for the school paper, and now he needed to think about those deadlines too. After passing through their normal haunts inside the castle, Rafe followed a group of students outside. Predictably, his gaze was caught by a patch of wildflowers, and he stopped to take a couple test shots. Rafe was pulled out of his concentration by the sound of a familiar voice, and he turned to see Addy sitting in her usual spot under the tree by the pond. He smiled at her automatically, ducking down to pick a flower at random and tuck it into his pocket, then moving to sit by her. “Well,” Rafe began, dragging out the word at her observant question. “If you mean my recent experiment with photographing water, the shots turned out fantastic. If you’re talking about that essay for History of Magic, well…” he trailed off and shot her a sheepish smile.

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

Take the words for what they are

A dwindling, mercurial high

September 12, 2025
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

While it was still…weird, Addy also felt happy to see her friend. Even though he was about a foot tall than the previous year, his facial expressions were still much the same and that happy look in his eyes. The familiarity was comforting, though as was all long term friendships she supposed. Addy always considered herself very self-sufficient, if something needed to get done she was going to do it and one would be wise to get out of her way but this past year had really demonstrated how much she had come to rely on her closest friends. Brigh was with her family and Addy had unintentionally put distance between herself and Raphael. But here he was now and she was glad he was here. Her face showed she wasn’t pleased with his answer. It was only a couple of weeks into the term and she didn’t want any of them to fall behind. She rolled her eyes slightly, it was one class they did not have together this year. She might have been able to take it had she not had Chess club to worry about.

”And who his going to help you with that?” She asked him, a playful look in her eyes. ”I don’t have History of Magic this year.” A gentle reminder, still she would be happy to help nonetheless. While the subject seemed to bore most students into a light coma she always found it rather interesting. ”Plus you’ll miss going down to the village if you’re stuck doing homework.” That had been an early motivator in their early years to help with homework. Otherwise Addy would have been walking down to the village alone and she might have for a Butterbeer—since that was one of her absolute favorite things. She remembered a letter she’d received that morning, however. ”Though, Grey said he was going to be around so I might see him next weekend.” Despite all the family happenings and pressure, she still tried to see her older siblings when she could.

Addy craved the old dynamic, what had felt so normal and now was changed. In a way she felt she’d messed it all up, even if it did take two. She also desperately missed Brigh for the chance to girl talk—without names of course, but it wasn’t as though she could talk to Claire about these things. She supposed it was also difficult to avoid thinking about it, and she had to admit it had been fun but whenever the memory crept into her mind she found herself blushing a little. She’d overheard many girls in the dormitories talking about their own experiences. She cleared her throat and looked back at her friend. Addy patted the ground next to where she was sitting, an invitation for him to sit down. ”You get some good photos today?” She asked. It wasn’t an area where she had a lot of knowledge or interest, but it was his interest, much as he entertained her ramblings about how cell phones worked or Brigh let her ramble about Quidditch.

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Rafe automatically took his usual seat next to her, and couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on her face. It was nice to be reminded that, even with all the changes they’d gone through in the last year, some things were never going to change. Rafe was still a terrible procrastinator who didn’t like to do his homework, and Addy was always going to exasperatedly remind him why it was important to get it done. A lot had changed since sixth year, with Brígh going away and the sudden dynamic change between him and Addy. And a lot was going to change next year, after they would all graduate and move into their (likely separate) career paths. In the meantime, Raphael wanted desperately to cling to anything familiar for as long as he could have it. And as much as it stung to think that he’d always be ‘just a friend,’ it was a million times better than the alternative of losing her completely.

So he was going to force casual behavior until it became natural again. He owed it to their friendship, and honestly – she had enough to worry about this year. He didn’t want to be another problem for her too. Addy asked who he had in mind to help him with the essay he’d been ignoring, and Raphael returned her playful look with a mischievous smile of his own. “I was going to ask my best friend for her extremely generous help,” he began, “but unfortunately she’s in Ireland, so looks like I’ll have to settle for you instead.” He bumped her shoulder playfully with his own before she could get any funny ideas like hitting him. “But you also have an extremely selfish reason to help me. If I turn in any more late assignments this early in the year, I might get detention. Then who are you gonna knock off their broom during our extra practices?” The House teams were only just starting Quidditch practice, and the Hufflepuff team had had its first last night – so Rafe had also heard his captain vent about Ravenclaw already booking the pitch twice. It wasn’t uncommon for him and Addy to stay late getting their own practice in – even if she played a little rough.

She asked him if he’d gotten anything good today, and Rafe was ready to answer with enthusiasm about the wildflowers he’d found earlier. But he took a good look at Addy, and the tense set of her shoulders, then glanced down at his camera. A small smile crept onto his face and he raised it quickly to snap a photo of her. It wasn’t done with nearly any of the technical preparation that he usually preferred, so it wasn’t going to come out like the photographs that he spent ages setting the scene for. But hey, he was going for a gesture here, so it didn’t have to be perfect. “One good photo,” he finally answered, shooting a soft smile at Addy. He quickly pulled up the photo he’d taken on the screen and tilted the camera so she could see the final result, scooching closer so they could look together.

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

Take the words for what they are

A dwindling, mercurial high

September 12, 2025
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

She supposed denial was not a good look on her, and there was some truth in how it was said a boy and girl could not be ‘just friends’. There had been jokes over the years, as was expected with any friends—even platonic ones, but they’d never taken it seriously. And Addy was never the type to fall to suggestion easily. She missed Brígh, of course, but dynamics changed drastically one way or another when you took away the constant ball of energy, and you left the quieter ones. Well, Cheese was more reserved than she was, Addy had never seen herself as much the introvert, but she also didn’t have the same presence that Brígh did. He sat next to her, and his company both made her a tiny bit nervous but was also comforting. She realized she had been avoiding him just a tiny bit, and she felt terrible for that.

Addy’s expression became unamused on at his comment as if he was ranking Brígh as a best friend over her. But she quickly rolled her eyes at his argument. He wasn’t wrong, Quidditch was a common hobby and sport for them, and despite being on opposing teams, they often helped one another out with extra practice. Although now all she could focus on with that was the extra alone time with him, but she pushed that out of her mind. She had to be normal. They needed to be normal again. ”I’m sure your best friend is very concerned about you getting detention.” She spoke, looking at him with sort of a side-eye. ”Then again….extra practice wouldn’t be so bad.” She stared ahead as she processed a thought. ”You’re two feet taller than last season…I could use the challenge.” It was more like some of the other players she encountered. When he’d been shorter, it had been easier to knock him off his broom. ”Fine. But only after practices start, though who knows when we’ll have our first one at this rate…” She tried not to be bitter, but she tended to fail at that.

Addy had expected him to quickly go through the pictures taken on his camera, as he usually did, but instead, she heard the familiar sound of a photo being taken. She was confused for a moment before he scooted closer, that soft grin on his face and him eagerly showing him the picture he had just taken. To her surprise, really, it was of her but not one of his usual prepared shots. Not like the ones he had made herself and Brígh stand in various places with different lighting and different backdrops until he felt he had the perfect picture. This one was more natural. She’d been caught off guard. ”You didn’t even give me a warning, Cheese.” She said playfully, glancing at him and then back at the camera. ’One good photo.’ He had replied to her question. It made her heartbeat just a bit faster. Dammit, why did he have to be so sweet?

She was reminded of their time spent together over the summer, laughing and having fun and just talking. It had been perfectly normal in her mind. Of course, a perfectly planned day out, he’d been late that morning while she had been precisely on time, but overall had been a good day. And then they’d been sitting and talking, much like they were now when it just happened. Again, she forced her mind not to wander. Instead, she smiled slightly and looked back at him again. ”Then this must be the only photo you’ve taken today.” She said with a pause after. ”Or you’re just being nice to me because I’m not your number one best friend anymore. You know I don’t like being second.” She gave a playful grin. Thankfully, their friend group had never operated like that—the unnecessary drama of competition where even Addy knew it didn’t belong.

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

The satisfaction of watching her expression as Rafe made his little dig about his best friend being in Ireland was worth the hell he was going to get for it later. It was true that he missed Brígh terribly, but she was never the right person to ask for homework help. Odds were that she was procrastinating on the same assignment he was, and as a result they had spent many long nights poring over Addy’s notes in an attempt to get caught up. There were plenty of things he appreciated about Brígh – her upbeat energy, her tendency to drag him into new and interesting situations – but homework was unquestionably Addy’s domain. And he desperately needed her help if he was going to get through his NEWTs. He hadn't meant to end up taking so many classes. After receiving his OWLs, his father had suddenly asked him at breakfast one day if he intended to continue taking all his core classes. Rafe had been so startled at the direct question that he'd answered yes without thinking.

He’d almost forgotten what exactly tended to happen during their extra practices. In the past, it had seemed to be exactly what it was – despite being in different Houses, their roles on their respective teams were never in direct conflict with each other -- and training with a friend was undoubtedly easier than training alone. Lately, though…well, when you were alone on the Quidditch Pitch with the girl you were crushing on, and it was the end of a good workout and you were both breathless and sweaty and alone…No. No, he could not afford to keep following that train of thought. Raphael cleared his throat slightly and looked away, although his gaze shot straight back to Addy when she mentioned helping with his homework after practices started. “But my essay’s due on Monday!” he protested, eyes wide. He wracked his brain for a moment…how to play this? Ultimately he just went for the low-hanging fruit – distract Addy with things that annoyed her until she forgot her earlier statement and agreed to help him now. The answer was right in front of him, too. “So I guess Slytherin’s Quidditch team has been falling behind this year…?”

Rafe was extremely pleased with himself as he examined the photo he’d just taken. It was, by every definition, a candid – he hadn’t taken time to set up the scene and she hadn’t been prepared for the shot. But it was still a nice picture. He’d gotten a profile of her face, even a hint of a faraway look as she’d been contemplating Slytherin’s lack of practices so far. He only gave a nonchalant shrug as she accused him of not giving her time to prepare, unable to keep the pleased look off his face. She was pretty all the time, but the expression he had just captured was something unique to Addy. A determined look on her face, slight crease between her eyebrows as she considered a problem. It never failed to make his heart skip a beat – the knowledge that she could take on anything in the world. He rolled his eyes at her as she continued to speak. “That's right, because I have the self-restraint to only take one photo a day. Why are you so hard on yourself? You’re beautiful, take the compliment.” At the opening she gave him, a slow smile spread across his face as his eyes twinkled at her. “Besides…there are some things where you always come first.”

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

Take the words for what they are

A dwindling, mercurial high

September 12, 2025
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

Addy shouldn’t have been surprised. They all picked on one another pretty regularly, which mainly stemmed from their longtime friendships. It was part of the dynamic as they each provided some stability in their own way. Cheese knew of Addy’s competitiveness, her stubbornness, but despite what was said about Slytherins, her ultimate loyalty to her individual friends meant she was willing to help them out. However, she mentally kicked herself for bringing up Quidditch practices with him—just as they had been doing since their second year, but this time it was different. Very different. Addy had really surprised herself, not even two weeks back into school and the fall term, and they’d decided to try to get back into the normal swing of things and take their brooms out for a ride in the Quidditch Pitch. Now, while they had, in fact, practice some Quidditch, it had not taken long to lapse into previous behavior, and Addy recalled the rollercoaster of emotions she felt that day.

She was almost absolutely certain there were rules about hooking up in the Quidditch locker rooms. So between breaking school rules and doing something she told herself she wasn’t going to do again, she’d been a bit of an anxious mess. His eyes grew wide when he explained his essay was due in three days, and she gave him another look. Of course, it was due Monday. She honestly might have been the most surprised if he had given her a buffer of a week to help him with this. However, before she could say anything, he brought up the Slytherin Quidditch team, and she let out a defeated sigh. ”I’m sure its not that bad, but hopefully we start practice soon…” She shook her head. She didn’t want to think about it since it fueled her natural need for competition and winning. ”Fine, I’ll help you tomorrow.” Again, he knew how to get her onto his side rather easily—in more ways than one, she reminded herself, but she pushed that thought out of her mind quickly.

It wasn’t rare by any means for Cheese to take her photograph, her and Brígh together, or whatever combination of the friend group. It was the norm ever since he’d run-up to the pair in first year. Maybe she was overthinking it, though she couldn’t stop the small grin that crept onto her face when he effortlessly complimented her. ”You’re just saying that because your actual best friend is in Ireland, aren’t you?” She teased, looking at him, but after a pause, he spoke with a mischievous tone, and she gave him a quick glance before looking away and feeling the pink creep up on her cheeks. She knew exactly to what he was referring to, though even without their experiences, she’d heard enough girl talk in the dormitories to be up to speed on some topics. She was sure boys talked about the same things. She glanced at him to her side with her eyes. Even though he’d caught her off guard, and she was now a bit flustered, she could play this game as well—a small smirk appeared before she spoke. ”Oh, you mean Quidditch? Yes, I’ve been told I’m quite adept at riding a broom.”

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Rafe gave a sheepish laugh at her expression as he explained the essay was due on Monday. Her help had been keeping him afloat since first year, when he’d rapidly realized that schoolwork was not his cup of tea and that he was easily distracted. His marks were never outstanding, but he’d been operating at a passable level and his Head of House had never asked to see him about it. It had been easier to justify asking Addy for help when they’d still been in all the same core classes (since at the very least, Rafe had never needed help with flying), but things had become especially complicated after their 5th year when the group had started to diversify their NEWT courseload. Still, for all the underhanded little tricks he had developed to ask (actually, beg) for Addy’s mercy, he knew she’d still help anyway. She didn’t give up on her friends, and she wanted him and Brígh to succeed. It warmed him to think that that dynamic, at least, was still the same.

And really, it was nice that there was still one normal thing between them, because everything else had shifted topsy-turvy upside-down. Raphael had learned to live with the embarrassing situation of having a crush on his best friend, enough so that he’d mastered that sense of normalcy for what felt like a year at this point. But he’d never considered that anything might happen, never dared to consider anything might happen, so they were in unfamiliar territory now. And still figuring out how to balance their dynamic as friends with all the distinctly not-just-friendly things they’d been doing lately. Raphael beamed at Addy as she grumpily agreed to help him. “I’m sure you’ll start practice soon,” he agreed – for all the teasing that occurred in the group, at the end of the day he usually just went along with whatever Addy said. “And, you know, it’s a weird coincidence, but…” Raphael trailed off as he reached into his bag and pulled out his History of Magic book. “I happen to have my textbook with me…and oh how odd, it seems to have already been bookmarked at Chapter 3,” he said in a completely innocent tone, shamelessly sliding the book onto Addy’s lap.

“It’s a good opportunity to move up in the rankings,” Rafe added helpfully in response to Addy’s joke, still using his trademark tone of ‘I’m innocent and have no idea what you’re talking about.’ His friendships with Addy and Brígh were very different (even setting aside recent developments), and naturally one wasn’t worth more than the other. But the teasing had become a regular part of their conversations and Raphael wanted to recapture that. Especially because he’d done a very stupid thing and dished out more than he could take. Between the small blush creeping across Addy’s cheeks, and that smirk she was wearing that always sent a shiver down his spine, and the innuendo-filled sentence she’d shot right back at him…Rafe choked on his spit and blushed furiously. “Oh, y-yeah?” he stammered back, unable to maintain eye contact with her. But there was something irresistible about the turn the conversation had taken, so he bit his lip and exhaled shakily to steel his nerves. Then he glanced back at her with a teasing look once he felt his heartrate settle. “And who exactly told you that? Because if you can still talk at the end, then maybe you’re doing it wrong…”

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

Take the words for what they are

A dwindling, mercurial high

September 12, 2025
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

Even though the nature of their…relationship had changed, somethings simply never did. Addy was always going to be on his case about his homework, making sure he passed his classes. It had become a habit early on, and she’d had time since she was always on top of her own assignments. However, it was a bit late in the day even for Addy to consider starting an essay. It was uncharacteristic of her to have so much on her mind that wasn’t related to her future plans. It was probably just that Quidditch had been brought up, and that dynamic had shifted rather quickly as soon as the school year had begun, and Addy would never be one to claim that Cheese ever needed help with flying. Quidditch ran in his family as much as overachieving ran in hers. He seemed relieved when she quickly caved into his request for help. Sometimes she wondered what Cheese or Brígh might do without Addy there to help them with their assignments. They were intelligent individuals but just uninterested in sitting in the library for hours at a time.

She shook her head and gave him a look when he casually handed her his History of Magic textbook. ”Really Cheese. I think your head would have rolled off your shoulders back in third year if I wasn’t around to make sure it stayed on.” Out of habit, she opened the book to where he had bookmarked it. Even if she wasn’t taking the course, it didn’t mean she didn’t do some light reading on various subjects from time to time, there had been conflicts in her schedule, but that was really a formality to learning in her mind. Between Cheese having his head in the clouds or viewing the world through the lens of his camera and Brígh’s need for adventure—she figured his head would have rolled off trying to take the perfect shot while Brígh’s would have been thrown at whoever was the target of her temper that day. At least Penelope, Eggy, as they affectionately called her, had a level head that Addy didn’t have to worry too much about.

Addy’s smirk grew into a mischievous grin when Cheese reacted to her response. He likely didn’t realize it, but he’d just started a competition. She did not like to lose, and she wouldn’t. ”I would have thought that helping you with extra Quidditch practice would have moved me up in the rankings” She commented casually, but she continued to flip through the History of Magic textbook slowly. She recalled the previous week again. If she’d been honest, it had been popping into her head quite frequently. But, he commented after a moment, and she found her face feeling warm again. This conversation was going into that uncharted territory again though Addy couldn’t say she minded, nor did she feel the urge to stop it either. ”When one doesn’t hear complaints, they can draw their own conclusions.”

She flipped a few more pages as she added a pause before speaking again. This last time had been different, she’d been more forward than usual, and she couldn’t figure out why. After they had talked over the summer, he’d been nothing but his usual self, respectful as always. Though every time she thought she smelled his soap, she was distinctly reminded of him. ”Well, you’ve never needed my help with flying…or handling your broomstick until now. So, you tell me.” She responded as casually as she could manage at this point, but her gaze shifted back to him at the last part.

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Watching Addy flip through his textbooks was a familiar sight, and Rafe felt a little tension ease inside him at the visual reminder that she was, in fact, not going to let him fail his classes. It had been much easier to ignore the implications of being so casual about schoolwork in their first few years. Back then the ‘Hogwarts experience’ was more about clubs, and Quidditch, and making friends with the future of the British wizarding world. After all, many of the connections formed at Hogwarts (friendships or otherwise) tended to carry on into the adult world. And the reputation you formed could stay with you for a long time – Rafe’s father was evidence enough of that. But now Raphael was feeling the pressure of neglecting his studies for so long, and he grew increasingly nervous at the thought that he had no idea what he wanted to do with himself after graduation.

“Oh, definitely,” Rafe agreed at Addy’s completely accurate observation that he relied on her to keep his head screwed on. “The joke’s on you for not reading the fine print before agreeing to pursue this friendship,” he added after a beat, laughing slightly at the thought. Addy had always been the most put-together of the gang by far. Sometimes he wondered if she wouldn’t have been better off in Ravenclaw – she read textbooks for fun. Not to mention her strict adherence to her study schedule, and the discipline she brought to all of their study sessions to ensure that Brígh and Rafe stayed focused instead of goofing off or getting distracted. He knew that most of the reason he had been able to immerse himself so much in his photography was because Addy stayed organized for him in ensuring that schoolwork got done.

He felt his mouth go dry as Addy mentioned their extra Quidditch practices. Because maybe she meant it innocently, that she should get bonus points for taking her evenings so they could practice even outside of what was arranged by their House teams…but really, what were the odds of that? He began to fiddle with his camera again, scrolling through the dozen or so pictures he’d taken that day before going to find Addy. “Well, thanks to Brígh I finally got a moonlight shot of the Forest. It would take a lot of extra practices to beat that,” he replied, trying to keep a cool and detached tone. As if they were actually having an innocent conversation as opposed to whatever…charged atmosphere they’d now found themselves in.

Addy’s attention seemed to be completely on the History of Magic textbook as she flipped through it slowly, and Rafe watched her with a heavy gaze. Most of the time, he thought he could manage to capture that platonic vibe they swore they’d go back to. He tried hard to stick to their agreement, and not do anything overly obvious that showed his hand. But then there were times when he couldn’t help but stop to just…admire her. She’d always been pretty, it was something he had always noticed in a sort of detached way since they’d become friends during their first week of Hogwarts. But sometime in the last couple years she had gone from pretty to beautiful and never more so than when she was in her element. In the middle of a competition, going in for the kill. He didn’t even mind being the mouse in this scenario, because…that was a hell of a view to enjoy on his way out. They locked eyes when Addy shifted her gaze back to him and he realized he’d been staring. They were only barely talking about Quidditch now, and Rafe could feel himself drifting farther from the metaphor when he said in a low tone, “Maybe you just need another reminder? Just to make sure you’ve got a good handle on the technique…”

addilyn elara slater

[addilyn elara slater]

Take the words for what they are

A dwindling, mercurial high

September 12, 2025
Raphael Caelan McLaggen

She knew that some of her housemates and classmates wondered why she helped her friends so much. Sometimes she asked herself the same question. She supposed there was an expectation that she surrounded herself with a particular type of crowd, one that would help her make a name for herself and not just 'goof off' as her parents had it put it so bluntly at times. Helping her friends achieve that met that goal, she supposed. Well, Penelope—Eggy never much needed Addy's help as much as Cheese and Brigh did, even Dicky now that he had rejoined them. Still, it had become a sort of dependency. She wasn't obligated, but she also liked to see them succeed. Though now, even she had to admit she had agreed to help Cheese purely for her own benefit, she'd been looking for a reason to spend more time with him and it not feel weird. She was pretty confident they couldn't get into any significant trouble in the library. That was the last thing she needed, another letter from home with the typical disappointing words highlighting something she had done wrong despite all her achievements.

" Well, at least it's just you and Brígh—I don't have to chase after Eggy or Dicky. Then I wouldn't even have time for Chess club." She lamented, at wasn't much to be proud of. Captaincy of a club, but she supposed it was better than nothing at this point. She didn't have a shiny Prefect or Head Girl's badge to wave around. She was still self-conscious about titles, achievements, and rules, but the more they went further into this conversation, the less innocent it became. Addy knew this. She was fully aware but couldn’t find the will power to stop herself. Had this conversation happened a year ago, she would have wasted no time shutting him up and switching topics. It was different now. Her uptight nature was fighting these new feelings. She wondered if Claire had ever run into such a situation, maybe she should try and see her on the next visit to the village.

Addy glanced at him, as if a moonlight photograph was going to outdo Quidditch practice. She knew she shouldn’t, but her gut almost wanted to accept that challenge. ”Well, I suppose you’ll be too busy for Quidditch practice while you’re out on your moonlit walks with Brígh.” She said matter of factly and as if she wasn’t bothered by it. They were all friends, right? Addy wasn’t the jealous type, at least she told herself she wasn’t. Casually, she kept flipping through the textbook—pretending to be interested in it, but she was merely waiting for his reaction. She wondered what a third person present might see or feel at that moment, would they notice the tension? Addy could feel it. Her will power was directed at maintaining her own composure at this point.

There was a pause after he spoke, their eyes locked, and Addy had to remember to blink. She licked her lips slightly. Her mouth had gone a little dry. The last time a conversation had gone much like this, she hadn’t been able to help herself, but they’d also been in the Quidditch locker rooms and not out in the open by the lake. She swallowed and cleared her throat, finally looking away. No, she couldn’t—they couldn’t. It wasn’t the agreement and it wasn’t part of her plan even though all she could think about was how his curly hair felt as she’d run her hands through them. As if her parents needed to hear about a boy in her life on top of not being a Prefect or Captain of anything they deemed significant. Addy closed the History of Magic book and handed it back to Cheese, looking back up at him. ”Any more reminders and there won’t be time left to finish your essay.” It was true, distractions took time and she had a lot to do—at least a lot to do that wasn’t a cute boy with soft brown eyes and curly hair. Again, she cleared her throat—she knew where this was going, but she had to stop it before it started again. They couldn’t keep doing this. ”Well…I have an essay to finish if I’m to help you tomorrow, we should head inside.”

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[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

There it was again. Addy’s comment about Chess Club seemed casual enough – a friendly rebuke that he and Brígh had never been so invested in their studies, and Addy spent enough of her time chasing after them to do their work. But despite being one of the most hard-working and high-performing people he knew, Addy was always so hard on herself. She placed a lot of pressure on being the best she could be – a Slater family trait, clearly, but there was also something about being the youngest that could push them to look for more attention. Raphael could understand that– his older siblings had always gotten the attention (good and bad) from his parents. By the time he had come around, he was just…the last kid. The baby. It was nice to have a lot more freedom to choose what he wanted to do – an option that Mickey didn’t have – but it could also lead to feelings of…inadequacy. Rafe was always looking for that thing that could set him apart from his siblings, get a slice of the attention he’d always wanted.

He imagined it must be the same way for Addy – except unlike his photography, she’d chosen her academic standing as a way to distinguish herself. And missing out on the prefect and Head Girl positions had affected her a lot more than when he and Brígh had also not been chosen. “Eggy and Dicky can take care of themselves,” Rafe agreed, thinking about the other members of their group. He saw Penelope fairly often, since they were in the same House and year, and despite Dicky’s special circumstances he’d always proven to be much smarter than most people around him. Rafe nudged Addy’s shoulder again in an attempt to cheer her up. “But what makes you the best in the year is that you’ve taken care of me and Brígh for years on top of your insane courseload. And you still have time for Chess Club and Quidditch on top of that. So what’s a stupid prefect badge compared to having the brain of three students?”

The conversation had been flowing smoothly, toeing the line between friendly and flirty. But Rafe suddenly got the sinking impression he had said something wrong when he noticed Addy’s expression as he mentioned the trouble he and Brígh used to get into before she’d left. She kept flipping through the textbook, but her movements were much stiffer….although he couldn’t imagine what exactly he had said to provoke such a tense reaction from her. “W-well, I wouldn’t exactly put it that way,” Rafe responded uncertainly at the thought of a ‘moonlit walk’ with Brígh. That didn’t quite capture the terror of being in the Forbidden Forest after dark, and the scary nightmare of being discovered by any manner of hungry magical creatures or, Merlin forbid…Professor Zabini.

Rafe wanted to say something else, because it didn’t feel right to leave it at that, but…his brain just wasn’t working. He and Addy had locked eyes, and he could almost feel the heat of that shared gaze shoot straight through him like a lightning bolt. His gaze dropped as she licked her lips and Rafe tried desperately not to stare or remember the feeling of his lips on hers. Those were inappropriate thoughts to have about your best friend, and they’d already agreed not to entertain the possibility of anything more…at least, again. She looked away, and Raphael tried to shove down the disappointment as she mentioned his essay again. Right, because that was what they were supposed to be talking about, not this game of not-so-subtle suggestions. “Y-yeah…” he said, trying to keep his voice upbeat as she mentioned heading back inside. He cast about for something to say before his gaze dropped down to his camera. “I have…photos to develop.” He decided to ignore the fact that he had his digital camera, so strictly speaking that wasn’t true.

He scrambled up quickly then held out his hand so he could help Addy up. He didn’t let go right away, instead holding on a moment longer so he could say insistently, “You’re the best, Addy. I don’t mind reminding you, but you should know that about yourself.” That could be something one friend said to another, he rationalized as he let go and began to make his way back up to the castle. Yeah, he would have said that to Brígh or Dicky or Eggy too…he had to stop hoping something would happen with Addy. It was impossible to just be her friend when he constantly thought about her and the way she made him feel and the hope that someday she might feel it too. That was just barreling towards an ugly conclusion, and he couldn’t bear the thought of ruining their friendship beyond repair. No, he was going to have to find a way to keep it together.

addilyn elara slater
[End post Cheese!]