call me by your name [raphael]

[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

3 January 2026

Yas had been extremely well liked at school. Even after the hiccup in her friendships due to her relationship with Emrys, she still maintained correspondence with most if not all of her school mates. It was easy for her, easy as breathing, to be kind and thoughtful. Her only issue was sometimes she got so wrapped up in something, like the sway of the barren branches of a tree in the crisp winter wind, that she would get herself so involved she would lose days at a time. Time held next to no meaning for Yas, except that it passed. What mattered was her friendships, delicious sweets and good lighting.

Therefore, it was not much of a surprise when one of her former housemates reached out to her. Raphael was a photographer, keen to hone his craft. Most of her friends knew how easily she got lost in paintings, and Yas surmised that he wanted a different point of view for his photography subjects. Yas had been delighted by his letter, especially considering she'd be able to get Rafe's help too. She hadn't been able to paint human subjects since her break up with Emrys. She'd even tried digital art, which was exceptionally fun but still she couldn't work with human models. It was like a hurdle in her mind that she needed to get over. And so while Rafe asked for her help, she would request a favour in return.

Yas had suggested they meet at the pub she worked at - she knew that Emrys would never turn up here anyways, so she was safe from his watchful eye. Also, despite the January chill, the back garden was well heated and got excellent afternoon sun. Though Yas didn't have to work today, she quite enjoyed the company of her colleagues, many of them inspiring her to paint, though not so literally. She wondered what Rafe had been getting up to these days - she remembered his inseparable bond with those two other girls in his year, but not much else. Yas idled by the bar, casting a glance over the patrons as she waited for her old friend to join her.

Raphael Caelan McLaggen

[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

3 January 2026

It was almost the start of spring term, and Rafe was starting to feel anxious about the future. It had always been something in the back of his mind, but he’d never paid it much notice – not when there was other stuff to do, like Quidditch or photography or hanging out with his friends. Even choosing his NEWTs, he’d taken a relatively casual approach to the whole thing. Someday he’d be sure to have a revelation about what he wanted to do with his life. Easy enough, right? Well…that hadn’t happened yet, and Raphael was starting to get anxious about the thought of graduating from Hogwarts. He knew what his dad wanted him to do – recruitment into one of the pro Quidditch teams, exactly like Mickey and Ella. Cormac McLaggen had never paid his youngest son much attention, but he’d started to ramp up the pressure over winter break until Rafe had started to use more and more obvious excuses to avoid the topic. No, he couldn’t talk to his dad about this. But then it raised the question – who? The answer had come to him only a few days before the end of break, and he’d hastily written to Yas asking if they could meet to talk about something serious.

He really should have thought of it sooner. Yasmin had been two years above him at school, but as an extremely popular girl in the same House…well, everybody knew her. Even so, she’d always spared a moment or two for him to discuss their art. Rafe’s passion was photography, he’d known that since first year, but he also dabbled occasionally with sketchbooks or watercolors. Not too much, but…he wouldn’t deny he’d been trying to impress Yas a little. She was older, the picture perfect Hufflepuff, interested in art…and really pretty. Rafe might have had a little crush on her once upon a time, and if sketching was enough of an excuse to talk to her, then it was a small sacrifice to put his camera down for a bit. Things had changed now. Obviously. He couldn’t stop thinking about Addy – either how determined and clever and absolutely beautiful she was, or worrying over what he had said a few days ago and how thoroughly they might have ruined their friendship. But Addy was getting a lot of pressure from her family, a fate Rafe had mostly escaped, and she wanted to be serious about her schoolwork. So as long as she prioritized her homework over everything else…he didn’t really have any hope that anything could change with them.

Yas was apparently working at a bar now, so Rafe showed up at what he was sure was the right place and the (mostly) right time. He was nervous, mentally listing everything he wanted to discuss with Yas. How did she decide what she wanted to do with her future? Was there anything he could do with his art? Did she have any advice for him? He spotted her by the bar almost as soon as he walked in – because again, all that jazz with Addy but Yas was seriously gorgeous and easy to spot – and he wandered over to her. “Erm, hi Yas,” he said as he smiled nervously, hands idly playing with the camera hanging by a strap around his neck. “It’s, uh, it’s me. Raphael,” he added obviously, trying not to stumble over his words or blush at all.

YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

Yas leaned lazily against the bar, listening to the idle chatter of the patrons that she didn’t have to indulge today. She considered engaging in conversation with a stranger, pointing out the various different paintings on the wall when a tall, somewhat familiar form wandered over to her. Yas blinked as she took in Rafe’s hulking form - she remembered a scrawny but sweet young boy who had seemed more like a puppy than a human. Yas had always liked Rafe, finding him refreshing. Though he played Quidditch, he didn’t seem to have the same fervour and arrogance as the other players.

Picking her jaw up off the floor, Yas offered Rafe what she hoped was an easy smile. ”Someone’s had a growth spurt,” she teased in her musical voice. She opened her arms to give Rafe a hug. ”Lovely to see you again, how have you been?” asked Yas as she turned to the bar and ordered some water and a drink for herself. ”Fancy something to drink?” she asked after a moment. Her colleague nodded, and said he would bring the drinks out to the garden, so Yas led the way there.

The garden was deserted due to the cold, but most of the muggles didn’t realise it was magically heated. Harry hadn’t been incredibly public with it either, which she supposed made sense. Yas settled into a table, and watched expectantly as Rafe followed suit. ”You wanted to talk?” she said, taking a sip of her drink.

Raphael Caelan McLaggen

[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Rafe turned a deep, deep shade of red as Yas commented on his growth spurt. It was the same sort of reaction he’d been getting all year, but it hit different when it was her making an observation about it. He suddenly felt like he’d been thrown back into fifth year – desperately trying to work a coloring pencil so he could find any excuse to talk to the most popular girl in their House. “R-runs in the family,” Rafe finally said, stumbling a little over his words as he tried to deliver it in the smoothest way he could. It was true at least, since Mickey had also been a late-bloomer and was somehow even impossibly taller. And everyone knew Mickey at least, since he’d chosen a public career – although the Bats weren’t getting the kind of publicity this season that they probably wanted.

Okay, he could get through this, as long as he stuck to things that were absolutely true. “It’s really nice to see you too,” he mumbled, feeling like a blood vessel must have popped in his face as Yas gave him a hug. She had always been a kind person, so hugs weren’t unusual, although it was different now to tower over her. He looked down in alarm at her proximity until she moved away, then rubbed the back of his neck. God, he really needed to relax. Rafe knew that he had trouble getting comfortable in a lot of situations, but this was somewhat ridiculous. So he shot her another smile, one of his usual easygoing types, and nodded. “Butterbeer would be brilliant,” he said eagerly, although he found himself questioning the order as Yas turned to the guy behind the bar. Would she think that was too childish? He didn’t want her to think of him as childish.

It was too late, so he simply followed her outside and took a seat across from her at the table. Her question was piercing, getting right to the heart of the point, and Raphael fiddled with his camera as he considered how to answer. Yeah, he’d wanted to talk, and for once he didn’t feel like he could turn to his closest friends for it. Addy had been avoiding him lately, and Brígh…she’d looked angry, and possibly hurt for feeling left out, at their New Year’s hangout. It didn’t feel like enough time had passed since then. “Yeah,” he said, forcing himself to stop fidgeting with his camera. “Yeah, I just…it’s my last year of Hogwarts and I have no clue what to do next,” he said somewhat miserably, finally admitting his fear out-loud. “Dad’s made it clear what he expects, but I can’t just say no because…well, I don’t have any other ideas.”

YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

Yas always found it refreshing to see a friend, especially one that was so similar to her. She'd been described as fluffy and light in many ways, and Rafe was the same. She hadn't expected him to tower over her, but that was a minor change. The wide smile on her face was genuine as she asked how he was doing, embracing him tightly. She ordered them some drinks, then headed out back to the heated garden. She didn't notice the bright red glow of Rafe's face, distracted instead by a seemingly broken heat lamp. The garden was deserted except for the pair of them, so Yas withdrew her wand and muttered 'reparo' at the heat lamp, and its warmth popped into existence.

Her colleague slunk out into the garden and Yas quickly put her wand away - she couldn't remember if he was a wizard or not. Better safe than sorry. Rafe had wanted to talk, so she invited him to do so. He explained in a short breath, and she hummed, thinking. "That's a sticky situation," said Yas slowly. "You don't always have to have an answer. I mean, look at me. I'm tending bars and trying to find the muse to paint things," she said, shaking her head. "You don't have to live up to your parents expectations either. You just have to do what you think will make you happy," said Yas with a slight smile.

Taking a sip of her tea, Yas went on. "You're clutching that camera like it's your first born child. What about doing something with that?" asked Yas.

Raphael Caelan McLaggen

[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Rafe watched with interest as Yas subtly took out her wand and muttered a spell with it under the table, stowing it quickly as another employee of the bar passed. Having grown up in Godric’s Hollow, he knew that the magical community lived alongside the non-magical one and mixed fairly often. Still, he’d grown up on a street full of other magical families – the Bainbridges, the Potters – and so the fact had escaped his notice until recently again. It was difficult to remember when you played Quidditch in the backyard, after all. The thought, strange as it might be, was almost relaxing and Rafe found himself unconsciously loosening his grip on his camera as he glanced over his shoulder to make sure the other employee had gone back inside. It wouldn’t do to be caught blabbering about Hogwarts and Quidditch by a Muggle.

He tensed and his grip tightened again as Yas seemed to ponder his dilemma. What she said definitely made sense – an artist didn’t pursue his craft because he was looking for concrete answers, after all. And he definitely understood the idea that living up to your parents’ expectations wouldn’t always make you happy. Rafe had watched Addy struggle for years with her parents’ pressure to live up to her high-performance siblings, and the crushing disappointment that came after she hadn’t gotten that Prefect badge. And he’d watched Mickey live with their father’s enormous expectations for years, the need to force his eldest son to pursue a professional Quidditch career just because his own hadn’t worked out. He sighed slightly at the thought, but his attention got caught by something Yas had said. “You’re having problems painting?” Rafe asked, ever the loyal Hufflepuff concerned for his friend.

Her observation about his camera made him release it quickly in embarrassment, avoiding the desire to squeak. “Oh, my camera?” he asked, glancing down at the offending object. “I mean…I do love photography,” Rafe admitted, looking back up at Yas and trying not to blush again. “But that’s just…just Art Club, you know. And the paper, but only because Jimmie sorta forced me to join. I couldn’t…what could I do with that?”

YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

Chatty though she was, Yas wasn't particularly one to beat around the bush. She got straight to the point, asking why Rafe had wanted to talk. She listened as he explained the weight that fell upon his shoulders to bend to his father's wishes, for it was one that was all too familiar to Yas. However, Yas had never given into that pressure. She'd always been rather independent and free spirited, blowing with the wind. She tried to see it from Rafe's perspective, but she didn't really understand why he wouldn't just do what made him happy.

Rafe tried to steer the conversation, or rather he was just concerned about her muse block. "Yeah, it's nothing really though. We're talking about you, anyways," she said, poking him hard in the shoulder. She took a sip of tea, observing that he was clutching his camera tightly. She rolled her eyes. "Just art club?" asked Yas, feigning hurt. "Are you saying art is just a club? That you can't make a career from following your passion?" she clutched her chest. "I'm hurt, Rafe. You think so low of me!" she said, pouting. "I'm only yanking your wand. But like I said, you can make a profession out of photography. There's so many options! Doesn't even have to be for the newspaper - you can do your own thing. Hell, you know I'm doing my own thing. Why is that not allowed? Shouldn't the ultimate joy come from within?"

Raphael Caelan McLaggen

[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Raphael silently fiddled with his glass of Butterbeer as Yas talked, watching the foam level slowly descend and avoiding her gaze. One of the things he’d always admired about her was her confidence – Yas had always been unapologetically herself, and people had loved her for it in school. It was impressive, and he imagined much easier to be happy when you didn’t spend your life worrying about what others thought. It didn’t feel so easy to him, though. Cormac McLaggen was an intense person, after all, and he never took no for an answer. He’d been furious after Ella had run off to join the circus, and the only thing that had truly calmed him down was the reminder that he still had his youngest child to bully into taking the ‘right’ path.

“We can talk about me and also talk about you,” Rafe pointed out, looking up curiously as Yas dodged his question about her problems. That was unlike her, or at least what he’d seen of her. And all things told, Rafe actually cared about Yas – they’d never been particularly close, considering the age difference while they’d been at school, but she was sweet and cared so much about other people. She was unique, not the kind of person you came across often. But he also didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, so he just shrugged and assured her, “Okay. Well, if you change your mind…”

Her dramatic performance, while clearly just for fun, still sent him running to apologize and correct himself. “No I don’t! You’re awesome! I’m not saying no one can make a career of it, just that I can’t. It’s…complicated.” He winced a little as he said that last part, because it felt like he’d been saying it all year. About not wanting to go into pro Quidditch, any time he tried to explain what was going on between him and Addy…when had everything in his life gotten so complicated? Things had been so simple, once upon a time, and now there was just a big question mark about what came next after graduation. Was he going to find a job? A fulfilling job? Was his best friend ever going to speak to him again? Who knew! “Ella did her own thing,” Rafe pointed out gloomily, still fiddling with his Butterbeer before taking a reluctant sip. “And now I’m the one being punished for it. Mickey’s already doing everything right, and now Dad won’t stop until he’s sure I won’t go the same way Ella did.”

YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

Yas typically wore her emotions on her sleeves. She was a girl of many expressions, most of them happy. But when Rafe urged her to share more about herself, Yas immediately went on the defensive and shut him down, masking it in a playful way. She didn't want to talk about herself. She didn't need a second opinion on how she was floundering. The failure of the El Fayed family, even if she was the only magical one. Yas loved her work and her art, and she loved being able to talk to anyone and bring out a smile. But that didn't erase the fact that she was underperforming. Yara was excelling at her course in computer science. The twins were too young to do anything of note. And Yas was... a bar maid. And a struggling artist. Things she loved yes, but things that didn't measure up to success in anyone else's eyes.

So instead of delving into that, Yas forced the conversation back onto Rafe. She could understand better than most the weight of expectations from family. "It doesn't matter. Happiness is the currency that matters most," said Yas sagely, wishing she could simply take her own advice. She sighed, tilting her head slightly as she appraised Rafe. He had changed since the last time she saw him. More of his own mind. She reached out, placing a hand on his. "I know. Morgana's staff, I know. But you'll go into Quidditch or something your father makes you do and then what? You'll suffer. You'll be miserable and your family will see that. And they will wish more than anything that you had done what would make you happy," said Yas kindly.

"I don't know much of Ella, but she was always a bit of a loose one, wasn't she? You're so different from her already. Running off to the circus to escape is completely different than excelling in a career that makes you happy and is reputable," said Yas, her dark eyes searching Rafe's face. "You're an adult now, Rafe. You can make your own decisions. Your family will be able to see that."

Raphael Caelan McLaggen

[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Being back in Godric’s Hollow was slowly starting to feel less like home and more like a chore, the older Rafe got and the more he had to do it. But talking to Yas was the most relaxed he’d felt since the start of the Christmas break, even as they talked about heavy things like the future and his dad’s expectations for him. And the strange way she dodged his questions. Rafe wasn’t the type to push, too polite for that really, so he didn’t ask anything else as Yas put on a wise expression and said some cryptic fortune-cookie type thing. Instead he fiddled with his glass and decided to leave it alone, and maybe bring it up sometime in the future. Like when one of them was on their deathbed, and there was no way to procrastinate anymore on insisting they talk if she wasn’t feeling alright.

He blushed a little as Yas covered one of his hands with hers, and felt himself freeze like a deer in the headlights. Merlin, what was the protocol for this? What would Mickey do? Probably something really cool and swoonworthy, and nothing like that was really occurring to Rafe. So instead, feeling his ears burn, he tried to focus hard on what she was saying and ignore the fact that he had a body and she had a body and there was currently a small point of contact between the two. Anyway, she was right. He would make himself miserable trying to please his dad, and then Cormac would likely find new things to complain about anyway. His catch rate compared to other Seekers in the league, how badly he’d executed this feint or that dive. Unhappy people could never be satisfied, and Cormac would never be happy with his younger son.

“I don’t feel like it,” he admitted as he sighed and slumped his shoulders. An adult? He was barely a functioning student, a decent enough Hufflepuff but nowhere near ready to be sent out into the world. “I had a very un-Hufflepuff thought the other day,” he said after a moment’s pause, not really sure how he wanted to phrase it but wanting to hear what Yas thought. His friends had expectations for what was typical to say or not, and Rafe didn’t want to freak anyone out. He was the calm friend, the easygoing one, and he didn’t like demanding their attention while he worked through his problems. But Yas was a great listener, and admitting his insecurities to her didn’t feel so hard. “I was wondering if anyone’s, well, actually happy. Or if we’re all just trying to get there all the time, and sometimes we move closer and sometimes we move away. Is that…just really off?” he asked doubtfully, gently placing his Butterbeer on the table and fixing Yas with a questioning look.

YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

"A very un-Hufflepuff thought you say?" Yas echoed, arching a brow. She tilted her head as she listened, pulling apart his threads of thought as he spoke them aloud. "I think a lot of people put happiness in a box. When it doesn't necessarily belong there. It's like a trap - we keep trying to be happy but forsaking everything around us to pursue our own happiness isn't really the way to be happy. What is it to be happy anyways?" asked Yas, her dark eyes glimmering in the light of the heat lamps.

"For me, being happy is being surrounded by those I love. We are all healthy. I can pursue my art." She paused, surveying Rafe. "Maybe just going along with things is being happy. Or maybe we're all just little mice in a maze of our own creation." She grinned. "But with not enough cheese," Yas added with a conspiratorial wink. She scratched at a spot under her ear. "Being a Hufflepuff isn't about being happy all the time - it's about working out what is best for yourself and the ones around you. I've always thought we've been the best for those reasons," said Yas with another titter.

"Yas, are you flirting on the clock?" Came a voice that startled Yas to her senses. She swore under her breath, looking pleadingly at Rafe. "I have to get back now. But please, write me. Any time. Or come here, or we can meet somewhere else. You're my friend," said Yas kindly. She swooped forward and dropped a brief kiss onto Rafe's cheek. "Take care of yourself. And don't fall into the happiness trap."

Raphael Caelan McLaggen
[end yas]

[Raphael Caelan McLaggen]

Cheese listened with wide eyes as Yas began to talk, and he found himself nodding along the more she began to carve out a super philosophical take on life and happiness. It wasn’t what he’d been expecting her to say, although he really didn’t know what he should have expected at all. Rafe had always admired Yas from afar – she was the most popular girl in Hufflepuff House, older and charismatic and always smiling or dreamily lost in thought. He’d stammered through the majority of their interactions (not the most flattering look), and there’d been that one time in the Yule Ball where Cheese had finally found the confidence to ask her for a dance. But they’d never had long, in-depth talks before where he admitted everything that troubled him and could ask for her advice.

So now it felt like the first time he was seeing a new side to Yas, one that was more than just how she seemed from the outside. And he liked it, finding himself smiling a little as she described what being happy meant for her. Rafe gave a sheepish laugh at her little joke about cheese, and took a sip of his Butterbeer to hide his flaming cheeks behind his glass. “It’s hard to work out what’s best if other people aren’t open to hearing it. Or if you’re not ready to either,” he admitted, although…what she said made a lot of sense. The Sorting Hat had told him something like that too, when Rafe had been mentally begging to be sorted into Gryffindor so he could please his dad. But no, it had told him that Hufflepuff suited him, and that his House had a special role to play – finding a way for everyone to rise together and be the best they could be. Standing together, instead of standing apart.

He choked on his Butterbeer as a voice called out for Yas’s attention. “N-no!” he spluttered, but Yas was already on it and Cheese sunk down in his chair. He rose hastily as Yas kissed him on the cheek and stood up, ostensibly to get back to work. Merlin, he might never wash his face again – but that wasn’t the point. “Thank you,” Cheese said, and he hoped the gratitude shone through in his voice. “For listening to me, I mean. You really didn’t have to, and most people don’t anyway. So I just…” he cleared his throat. “I appreciate it. And if you, er, ever want to talk about your...stuff, you can write me too.” It was a stupid offer, because Yas probably had a million people she’d write to for advice before him, but Cheese really did want to consider Yas as a friend. Not just some distant figure worthy of hero worship. He watched her make her way back inside, and took a seat back at the table. The thought of rushing home didn’t sound appealing, and for once…there were too many thoughts in his head to count. Cheese needed to think, and maybe order another drink or five.

YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED
[End post Cheese!]