always

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Here we are again! Not super loving that I’m making another goodbye post, but that’s where we’re at.

I wanted to start by saying thank you. You all have been wonderfully patient with me through the years as I’ve gone through waves of activity and lots of growing pains. Part of the reason I’ve been so reluctant to make this choice (even though I know in my heart it’s the right one to make) is because Alo had been such a huge part of my life and my growth as a human. I joined this site when I was seventeen and I turn twenty-three this Friday so, just – my entire adult life, basically, has been spent here (also just realized that it’s been over a quarter of my life, too – big yikes). Knowing all of you has made me a better person in ways I can’t even begin to describe, not to mention a better writer, a better denizen of the interwebs, a better everything. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I told myself when I rejoined Alo that my life was about to get easier, as I was coming off of one of the most hellacious college semesters of my life, not to mention a bunch of personal shit that brought me down. I thought I’d be able to be more active, to be better, but… Life has a way of just turning you upside down and shaking you down for all you’re worth, right? Part of why this is so hard is because I wanted to make it work. I want to stay, but that’s just not where I’m at in my life. I don’t know if I’ll ever be there again, either, which is scary. Last time when I left, I was fairly confident I’d be back someday (even if I didn’t say so), but now I really don’t know. That terrifies me. It feels like I’m leaving a whole chapter of my life behind, and I’ve been doing… a lot of that lately. It’s not pleasant.

Even if I never come back again, I want to say again: thank you. Thank you for being the most loving people, the most talented writers, and the most supportive friends. You and this site have changed my life for the better, and I’m going to keep saying that forever, because it’s true.

I’ll still be around lurking on the Discord (though I probably won’t come unless called), and you can also feel free to DM me at any time. I want to keep in touch, even if it’s just to ramble about your lives! (Side note: I’m going to school for a Masters in counseling in the fall, so I’m literally going to be taking classes about listening to people. You can talk to me and we can pretend it’s my homework, yeah?)

Anyways, this has already been longer and more emotional than I thought it would be, so I’ll wrap it up now. One more time, thank you. I hope I’ll see you on the other side, and if not, I hope life treats you well.

Love you.